Anticipation Alert: Tusk (2014)

How could you not be interested in a movie about a creepy guy who wants to turn a podcaster who comes to interview him into a walrus?  Unsurprisingly, writer/director Kevin Smith has admitted to coming up with the story to his upcoming movie, Tusk, while being stoned.  And now we luckily have a bat-shit crazy trailer to give a taste of what his weed-induced mind has conjured up:

Obviously more in the horror/comedy range than straight horror, Tusk looks like loads of fun.  Shades of The Human Centipede are evident, but what Kevin Smith has come up (at least from the trailer) looks like it will definitely be in it’s own lane.  I dig Justin Long, and seeing an older and more plump Hayley Joel Osment is a nice surprise – but it’s another name that is being associated with this movie that’s causing a bit of a stir.  Johnny Depp.  That’s right folks, Johnny Depp’s in a movie about a guy trying to turn another guy into a walrus. Hopefully that upped your anticipation a little more as it did for me.  Kevin Smith’s Tusk will be out on September 19th – stay tuned for more info and reviews rolling in soon!

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Sunday Bloody Sunday: ‘Old Lady Hit By Truck’ From ‘Children Of The Corn II – The Final Sacrifice’ (1992)

They really don’t make them like Children Of The Corn II: The Final Sacrifice anymore.  Actually they do, I’m just trying to build this post up to be bigger than it actually is, when honestly I’m just going to show you a clip of an old lady getting hit by a truck.

Welcome to Sunday Bloody Sunday where as you already know, I’m spotlighting a scene from the awful but enjoyable Children Of The Corn II: The Final Sacrifice.  This was indeed the first of many sequels to the original Children Of The Corn movie from 1984.  The clip involves a group of the town’s cult kids with their leader Micah, stalking an old lady in a wheelchair with a remote control car.  What happens next of course, is both tragic and pretty hilarious:

Yep.  That might be the worst, but maybe best, dummy I’ve ever seen in a horror movie.  They really just didn’t give a shit, did they?  Oh well, it makes it all the more enjoyable because I don’t think Children Of The Corn II is supposed to be taken that seriously.  I will have to admit that this forgotten sequel has some pretty good death scenes to make up for it’s lack of acting and plot.  Case in point, this nifty little clip below that shows the power of Micah and his wooden voodoo doll.  And in church nonetheless!  For shame, Micah.  For shame.

Ebay Find Of The Week: Overlook Hotel Key Chain From ‘The Shining’

Sometimes, it’s the little things in life that can bring you joy.  Especially if that little thing is $6.99 and pays tribute to one of the greatest horror movies ever: The Shining.

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That’s right – what you are looking at there is a replica of a key chain for the dreaded ‘Room 237‘ at the Overlook Hotel from The Shining.  This caught my eye right away as I browsed through thousands of Ebay listings in the ‘Horror Memorabilia‘ section.  And to give you even better news, you may be able to get one for cheaper than $6.99 because the seller has a ‘Make Offer’ option in the listing!  If you’re interested, head over HERE and snatch one up.  Just make sure to watch out for creepy rotting naked old ladies if you do go into ‘Room 237‘.

*Warning:  There is nudity in the clip below.  Some good nudity, and some bad nudity.  You can decide which you think is good and which is bad when you watch it.*

Give Me The Creeps: ‘Chinese Food Maggots’ From ‘The Lost Boys’ (1987)

I’ve touched on my fear and disdain for maggots in the past, but please allow me to get deeper into the subject.  It started in 1982 with Poltergeist and the infamous ‘maggots in the steak’ scene where a guy tore his face off in the bathroom.  From that it went to real life maggot experiences, like when I was fishing on a family trip and I unknowingly picked up a piece of driftwood that was covered in them.  As if that wasn’t traumatizing enough, I have vivid memories of taking out the garbage cans at home at night when I was around 12.  Surprisingly while doing this chore, I found a bunch of maggots crawling all over my hand because of the hot and humid rainy weather that was occurring at the time.  Needless to say – I hate maggots.

So on this edition of Give Me The Creeps, I’m focusing on the scene from 1987′s vampire flick, The Lost Boys, where Michael is meant to believe from David that he’s actually eating maggots instead of rice:

Shudder.  I know that I seem like a wuss, but anything to do with those gross baby flies makes my skin crawl.  And the thought of ingesting them gets my stomach all in knots.  All maggot talk aside for a second, I love The Lost Boys  and even though this scene is the only scene that really creeped me out, I still hold the film up there as one of the best vampire movies of all time. By the way, I think my plans of having Chinese food tonight just got put on the back burner.  Now to keep that delicious maggot taste in your mouth, I want to leave you with some pretty amazing artwork from Jason Edmiston appropriately titled:  Maggots.

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Anticipation Alert: Grizzly (2014)

When I was born in 1976, a killer grizzly bear movie called Grizzly (an appropriate and ingenious title indeed) was born as well.  It has somewhat developed a bit of a cult status, and the DVD can get you a nice bit of cash if you’re in a bind.  Sadly, since that year – the murderous bear movies have been scarce and often terrible (Grizzly Rage, Bear, Grizzly Park), but that could possibly all change very soon.  That’s right – a new movie with the same name as the 1976 flick is coming!   Ladies and gentlemen – I give to you the new trailer for Grizzly:

Well that looks awesome.  And it’s got Billy Bob Thornton in it!  Let’s not fool ourselves though, the real star of this is the blood-thirsty grizzly bear.  Grizzly really does look like a ‘guilty pleasure’ ready to happen, doesn’t it?  Here’s a quick plot synopsis below, as if you really need a plot to know if you’re going to enjoy this one or not:

‘In the action thriller Grizzly, a deputy whose mission is protecting the threatened grizzly bear suddenly finds himself conflicted when a massive rogue grizzly wreaks havoc on a local Alaskan community. Enlisting the help of his estranged brother, he enters the labyrinthian Grizzly Maze to track down his wife who’s gone missing before the bear does. As the body count mounts, and an infamous bear hunter enters the fray determined to take down the bear he’s been waiting for his whole life, no one is safe in the harsh Alaskan wilds.’

Ok, that’s all great and all but all I really care about is watching Billy Bob Thornton chew some scenery and the bear chew on some heads.  Looks like from the trailer that we’ll get both of those things, so stay tuned for more info and a release date on Grizzly soon!

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Do You Remember ‘Secrets Of The Cryptkeeper’s Haunted House’?

As a huge fan of the TV show Tales From The Crypt, I was pretty impressed to see the following that it gained and the promotional items and merchandise that it pumped out along the way.  Everything from pinball machines to pre-paid phone cards, The Cryptkeeper was doing business!

In addition to all of that, not only did the show have it’s own spin-off cartoon (Tales From The Cryptkeeper), but in 1996 there was actually a Saturday morning kid’s game show called Secrets Of The Cryptkeeper’s Haunted House.  I feel the title could have been a bit longer.  But anyway, yes – this terrible but entertaining show ran on CBS for only one season and actually did feature The Cryptkeeper (John Kassir).  It also featured a horrible CGI skull named “Digger”.  Pay close attention to how smug some of these kids are too. Click below now and watch all of the Saturday morning madness:

Sunday Bloody Sunday: ‘The Final Battle’ From ‘Scanners’ (1981)

Remember when Michael Myers battled Busta Rhymes in the finale of Halloween: Resurrection?  I know, I know – we all want to forget, but we unfortunately need to accept and deal with it.  The point is that it sucked, but the finale in David Cronenberg’s fantastic 1981 flick, Scanners, between Michael Ironside and Stephen Lack was awesome!

Sometimes you just have to resort back to the classics, and on this week’s Sunday Bloody Sunday, I’m doing just that.  Yes, not much more needs to be said about the final battle between Vale (Lack) and Revok (Ironside) as they go head-to-head (get it?) in an impressive special effects-laden tour de force.  Bonus points are given for Lack’s exploding eye trick and for his fire hands.  Michael Ironside’s white eyes aren’t too shabby either.

On The Fence Horror: Annabelle (2014)

F*ck creepy dolls.  There, I said it.  Now because I’ve said it, I’ll probably be murdered in my sleep by Rosemary – my very own personal creepy doll that you can read about HERE.  When I watched The Conjuring last year, I was kind of hoping for a spin-off featuring Annabelle, the cute murderous pig-tailed doll who wears too much blush.  Well, the studio didn’t waste any time because the Annabelle movie raced into production to meet it’s October 3rd release date, and the teaser trailer was released yesterday!

Ok – I have to say that I’m on the fence now.  Yes, the Annabelle doll is possibly worth the price of admission alone.  And yes, this will be coming out in time for Halloween which in my opinion is a better option than a new Paranormal Activity movie.  But something seems a bit rushed and desperate with this one.  The acting in the teaser trailer is suspect, and the acting in The Conjuring was one of the elements that made that movie so strong. Also, Annabelle was written by Gary Dauberman, who gave us such Syfy Channel worthy movies like Blood Monkey and Swamp Devil.

My main concern is that if this does suck, it will taint the success and admiration of The Conjuring.  I think you can see why I’m on the fence here, but I can assure you that I’m not completely out.  My expectations are a bit low, and It’s good to go into a movie like this with those low expectations, because the payoff can be even more sweet.  So, stayed tuned for more info and trailers on Annabelle as they come in and mark your calendars for October 3rd!

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Ebay Find Of The Week: ‘The Return Of The Living Dead’ Promo T-Shirt (1985)

Good news for all of my readers who are on the smaller side that love The Return Of The Living Dead!  There are not one, but two actual promo T-shirts from the 1985 horror/comedy up on Ebay right now:

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Even though that these shirts are ‘Size Small’ and I have no chance in hell of fitting into one, it’s refreshing to see a shirt up on Ebay from the 80′s that doesn’t have armpit stains.  They have never been worn, and I’m really digging the “More Brains!” script on the front.  I’ll try not to sulk too much about the size, but you might be sulking about the price when you see it over at Ebay right HERE.  Kind of a random ‘Buy It Now’ price of $134.85, but at least you can make an offer and hopefully get one cheaper if you want it that bad. Braaaaaaains!

Great Moments In Horror Hair History: Rawhead Rex (1986)

Not many things could upstage a scene in a horror movie where a demonic creature pisses on a priest and “baptizes” him.  But a sweet mullet haircut sure as hell could.

Rawhead Rex is a 1986 hilariously ‘bad but good’ horror movie that was conceived by the master mind of Clive Barker.  I’m not going to get too much into the storyline that revolves around an evil pagan god with big ass teeth tearing some shit up in a little Irish town.  I’m talking about hair here!  And my oh my does Rawhead Rex have a sweet set of locks on that big cranium of his.  The hair definitely has a Gene Simmons kind of texture to it, but if anything – that makes it even more amazing.  So because of that alone, it’s no surprise to proclaim that Rawhead Rex and his hair was indeed a Great Moment In Horror Hair History!

 

Business in the front:

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Party in the back:

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