Thanks to Entertainment Weekly, we get a glimpse at a new poster to commemorate the 40th Anniversary of Tobe Hooper’s 1974 classic, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. And it’s good news if you’re a fan of armadillos!
A new remastered version of the iconic horror film will make it’s debut at the SXSW festival this Monday. But let’s talk about this poster for a minute. Some might complain that it’s light on chainsaws, but I personally love it though. It’s got the infamous van with the creepy hitchhiker blood smeared all over it. And the colors really pop, which is always better than the alternative of the colors not popping.
The poster does bring to light an unfortunate realization that we must all come to terms with though: The senseless killing of armadillos. These strange creatures deserve better than to be left on the side of the road on their backs. It really can just start with one kind gesture to your fellow armadillo the next time you see him (or her) while you’re wandering in a waterless desert. You will be rewarded with good karma. Ok, now let’s see a pic of the crazy hitchhiker who smeared his blood all over the side of the van!
It’s moments like this when I love the internet. For those of you who don’t know about the 1985 B-movie extravaganza called The Stuff, you really need to do some research. It has drama. It has intrigue. It has something that you eat that eats you from the inside out. And it has a character named Chocolate Chip Charlie. All of this somewhat pointless info is leading up to me telling you that someone over in the UK has recreated an actual tub of ‘The Stuff‘ and you can purchase one on Ebay!
Yes. Those are the actual replicas that you can purchase. Pretty impressive if I do say so myself. Just think of how impressed your B-movie loving friends would be if they went to your fridge for a cold one and got an eyeful of The Stuff instead. Yes, the seller is located in the UK, but they do ship to the US and it’s honestly not a bad price in total to get your hands on one of these (about $30 total). Head on over to the Ebay page right HERE and feel free to click ‘Buy It Now‘. Just be warned. If the carton arrives and it has a delicious white treat inside, proceed cautiously because this may happen:
If you want a successful trailer for your movie, you have to incorporate the song “Ode To Joy” and you need a healthy amount of Meatloaf. That’s good news for the new horror and comedy hybrid Stage Fright then! Now when you hear that title, you might think of one of Hitchcock’s lesser known films. Or maybe the 1987 Italian slasher about a guy who kills people wearing an owl costume. But no my friends, this is an all new movie about a musical camp that is terrorized by a killer wearing a kabuki mask who hates the theater.
I’m sold on the poster and luckily if you are too, there’s a brand new red band trailer that just came out! Now a word of caution before you watch it because there are spoilers abound. Minnie Driver is in the movie and Minnie Driver according to the trailer, dies. Meatloaf is in the movie and Meatloaf might die as well. There’s a bukkake joke, so if you’ve already had your bukkake joke fill for the day, you might be disappointed. Some of the gore gags are also shown, but hopefully Stage Fright doesn’t blow it’s load in this trailer. It’s quite an impressive load though if it does. Stay tuned for more info and buzz because it will be screened at this weekend’s SXSW Film Festival and will hit VOD on April 3rd. Check out the red band goodness below!
I’m not sure if the makers of 28 Weeks Later ever thought about giving away some promotional diapers at their screenings, because some of us could have used them during that opening scene. No, I didn’t poop my pants everybody….but I do recall saying “Holy Shit!” after the 8 minute introduction was over. Now, I’m not about to say that this sequel as a whole is better than Danny Boyle’s groundbreaking first from 2002, but the opening for 28 Weeks Later is easily on par with anything in 28 Days Later.
For those who have seen it, you know what I’m talking about. And hopefully you share my enthusiasm as well. If you haven’t seen it, the best I can do right now is provide a link from Youtube of the scene in full, but shown through the eyes of a camcorder. You see, the copyright gods won’t let anyone put up actual clips from the movie, so this will have to suffice. I can say that it’s some of the better bootleg footage out there in terms of quality, so we have that going for us.
Once the “In The House, In A Heartbeat” song kicks in, you know the rage-infested zombie shit is gonna hit the fan. And when Don chooses himself over his wife and a random hungry kid, that’s when the reality of the situation sets in. From there, we’re treated to a great zombie chase scene and then one of the best zombie water moments since Lucio Fulci’s infamous shark biting in 1979′s, Zombie. This is how you do an opening sequence people, and luckily the rest of the movie didn’t dramatically fall off after this impressive little setup. So thank you 28 Weeks Later for your “Holy Shit!” moment and for almost (I can’t specify ‘almost’ enough) making me soil myself. Now can we finally get 28 Months Later, please?
What better way to enjoy a Monday than with some face-melting Australian industrial metal from Our Last Enemy? I can’t think of anything, unless we’re talking about a giant stack of pancakes with extra syrup, but I’ll take Our Last Enemy over that right now.
I recently stumbled upon their video for the song “10,000 Headless Horses” and was immediately sucked in due to the horror vibe that’s going on from the get-go. Add to that, the intense ‘punch you in your f*cking face’ music and vocals and you have the perfect recipe to cure your Monday blues. I’m just such a sucker for the metal and horror combo. If you dig what you see below, look out for Our Last Enemy’s new album called Pariah on March 11th. Jump over and support them on their Facebook page HERE as well!
I’ve had The Omen on my mind a lot lately. Maybe it’s because Mondo is releasing the remastered soundtrack on vinyl this Tuesday. Or maybe it’s because I was born the same year that the original was released in theaters. Better still, maybe it’s because I’m the Antichrist. I’ll let you mull over that last one while I tell you that I’m very excited to showcase one of the most enjoyable decapitation scenes in horror movie history on this week’s Sunday Bloody Sunday.
A challenge like gathering the seven mythical daggers that you need to kill the son of Satan can be a daunting task. Just ask professional photographer, Keith Jennings. Better yet, why not watch below what happens to Mr. Jennings. Apparently his head was really fake by the way. Who knew?
Fitting that it’s Oscar Sunday by the way since Gregory Peck just gave an Oscar-worthy reaction to that awesome beheading.
If you’ve been searching for a promotional T-shirt from 1989′s underwater creature feature Deep Star Six, you’re about to be in heaven! What’s that you say? You’re only looking for a promotional T-shirt from that other 1989 underwater creature feature, Leviathan? Oh. And I see that someone else only wants a promotional T-shirt from the 1998 underwater creature feature, Deep Rising. Well, tough shit! Because you only have an opportunity to get one from Deep Star Six.
She’s a beauty. I know what you’re saying though, for being an Extra Large T-shirt it looks as if a XXX-Large person wore it for a year straight. Fear not though, because that just means it will be more roomy and comfortable. Not only that, but the seller makes a note that there are no holes in it! However, it does come with two small white stains in the front, which is always a high selling point. He says they don’t seem permanent though. Whew! It has a dirty collar, so I guess a courtesy wash is out of the question. The logo is in good shape though! But does have some cracking. If all of that doesn’t sell you, then head over HERE and take a look yourself and grab your Deep Star Six T-shirt before it’s gone. Only $79.98 if you Buy It Now!
Dammit Mondo! You’re not supposed to be taking anymore of my money. But it looks like on March 4th, you’ll be taking some more of it when you release a pretty sweet vinyl version of Jerry Goldsmith’s soundtrack for 1976′s, The Omen.
Yikes. That would even make the son of Satan smile! Good news and bad news here folks. The good news is that no matter what, you’ll get the boney album cover artwork done by Phantom City Creative. The bad news is that only 200 of those who order the vinyl will be lucky enough to get that “Mark Of The Beast Translucent Red” version that’s in the pic above. Oh, and I forgot to mention the other good news that there are tracks included which have never been released on vinyl before. So, set your calendars for March 4th and go HERE to order your newly mastered vinyl soundtrack of The Omen!
Bed wetting is a serious problem. Unfortunately for Ginny from Friday The 13th Part 2, so is floor wetting. That’s right – before Ginny was pulling a fast one on Jason by wearing his dead Mother’s sweater and pretending to be her, she was peeing on the floor. Which is good news for me because Ginny is the perfect first choice for my new feature: Urine Trouble.
I actually hold Friday The 13th Part 2 in high regard when it comes to the countless sequels in the franchise. I know the hockey mask is iconic when we’re talking about Jason Voorhees, but I actually preferred the sack he wore in this one. And as far as final girls go, Ginny more than held her own. Too bad she couldn’t hold her bladder though while hiding under the bed from Sack Head Jason and his pitchfork.
I guess if anything, this scene is pretty realistic and should be commended for that. I mean, if I was playing hide-and-seek with a murderous vengeful disfigured hillbilly that can’t swim, I would probably spring a leak too. It seems however, to be a rat that Ginny was most nervous of. I’ll let that slide though, because rats are most definitely piss worthy. Speaking of the piss, that’s quite a puddle she let loose there. Which is pretty spectacular considering she’s wearing jeans. Director Steve Miner has said previously that the pee is from the rat, but I smell a cover up unless that rat had super piss capabilities. Bonus points for Sack Head Jason trying to balance his large body on a tiny chair to surprise Ginny. That worked out well for him.