Trailer Trash: ‘Mountaintop Motel Massacre’ (1986)

WARNINGBefore you watch the original 1986 trailer for Mountaintop Motel Massacre, please be aware that the following are included in the trailer:

–  terrible car singing

–  a lazy voiceover guy who sounds like he wants to be anywhere but the trailer

–  wet t-shirts with protruding nipples

–  a lot of people just saying or yelling out different names

–  a guy saying the phrase “No way, Jose!” 

–  also, they pretty much give the whole movie away in the trailer

Well, if you still watched despite all of my warnings, then…..congratulations!   You were in for the ‘protruding nipples’, weren’t you?  But anyway – Mountaintop Motel Massacre (I always felt there should be a ‘The’ in the title) is good cheesy 80’s horror fun, and you can now own a sparkling Blu-ray transfer of it from Vinegar Syndrome HERE.  And yes, the ‘protruding nipples’ are included in the price.  Hooray!

That Time Roger Ebert Said ‘Phantasm’ Was A Mess (1979)

Not sure if you’ve ever heard of the movie Phantasm, but chances are you have.  And chances are that you liked it more than both Siskel & Ebert did back in 1979.  Ah yes, one of my favorite pastimes:  Looking up old Siskel & Ebert horror movie reviews on Youtube. And given that this year is the 40th Anniversary of Phantasm, I figured I’d snoop around and see if these two jokesters ever did a review when it originally came out.  And, they did!  Check it below:

Ok, ok.  We get it.  You didn’t like the ‘weird little stainless steel ball‘, Roger Ebert.  And Siskel’s snickering during Ebert’s rant only irked me more.  They did both enjoy the severed finger though, so there’s that.  I never did take their horror movie reviews seriously, but this one made me chuckle due to their obvious disdain for the ‘lack of explantation’ of anything in Phantasm.  Rule #1 for watching Phantasm:  Don’t take it seriously!  Just sit back, enjoy the visuals, enjoy the score, enjoy Angus Scrimm, and enjoy this song:

Ebay Find Of The Week: ‘Flatliners’ Promotion Tank Top (1990)

**cues up some Beach Boys music**

Awww yeah!  It’s summertime and nothing says summertime like hittin’ the beach for some sand, sun, and tasty waves.  And who wouldn’t want to hit the beach with something that would make people stop and stare and say “Why the hell is that person wearing a promotional tank top from the original 1990 Flatliners movie?

s-l1600

Why, yes.  That is indeed an original promotional tank top from the 1990 movie Flatliners. Notice I had to specify by saying the year because of that remake abortion that came out in 2017.  Anywho – I do love perusing eBay for old promotional horror items and when this one popped up in my search, I just had to share.  It even has a fun ‘beach’ color to it!  So if you’re interested in knowing more about purchasing, head on over to the listing HERE. Cowabunga, dudes!

‘Son Of Monsterpalooza’ Is Coming Back To Burbank September 13th-15th!!

It’s that time of the year again, folks!  Yes, it’s MONSTERPALOOZA time!  Actually, it’s SON OF MONSTERPALOOZA time!  Pretty much the same thing though because my excitement level is equal for both.

website homepage

Coming back to Burbank (that’s in California for those who don’t know) once again September 13th-15th, Son Of Monsterpalooza already has the ‘Master Of Italian Horror‘ Dario Argento getting top-billing so far on the celebrity front.  In addition to him, you can also see a full-blown Phantasm 40th Anniversary Reunion – including creator/writer/director Don Coscarelli and the majority of the cast from the original film! (RIP Angus Scrimm)

Did someone say they liked Terminator 2: Judgement Day?  Well, it’s a good thing then that Robert Patrick and Edward Furlong (along with other cast members) will be in attendance and have a panel on Sunday!  Oh, did I mention Billy Zane is going to be at the convention too?  Billy Zane!!  I love Demon Knight……sorry.

I highly suggest that you purchase tickets in advance for Son Of Monsterpalooza HERE on their website, because there is a good chance that it sells out.  You can also see the full schedule rundown and celebrity lineup (with more to be added).  Oh – I almost forgot. Being that we’re nearing Halloween, there will be a costume contest as well – so come dressed in your best creepy attire!  Scare you there!!!

When Pregnancies Go Bad: Species 2 (1998)

I don’t have any children, but if I did I would imagine that watching them be born would be a wondrous and breathtaking experience.  I’m sure there’s nothing gross about it, unless of course you have it in your head that birth is something like in that scene in 1998’s Species 2.  Why the hell are you watching Species 2 btw?

Oh, it was ME that was watching Species 2.  Guilty as charged!  But anyway, it’s a pretty terrible movie – save for some entertaining gore and Natasha Henstridge getting topless again.  Let us not forget about the infamous birthing scene though, over-exaggerated facial expressions and all.  Check it out below and stay to the end for Marg Helgenberger to tell you just how awful it is:

Review: Crawl (2019)

If I could be any animal or reptile, I would be an alligator.  I’m sure my readers just had their minds blown by that statement, but it’s true.  Always fascinated with them growing up, I’ve never actually seen one in the wild – and I’ve never been in a hurricane either.  Why did I just mention a hurricane?  Oh – because the new movie Crawl is based on alligators running amuck during a hurricane in Florida.  And guess what?  I loved this movie!  Continue reading

Sunday Bloody Sunday: ‘The Wedding Attack’ From ‘Alligator’ (1980)

Whoa!  The return of Sunday Bloody Sunday!  Since everybody has ‘alligator fever’ right now because of the newly released ‘creature feature’ Crawl (I shall be seeing it today btw), I figured I would go back to my original killer alligator movie that I adored as a child:  Alligator!  (they really knew how to give a horror movie a title back then)

Yes, Alligator – the 80’s movie that showed us the downside to flushing a baby alligator down the toilet.  And probably one of the most famous scenes in the movie is the ‘wedding scene’.  Do you like seeing people scurry in a panic bumping into each other and falling into a pool?  Do you like seeing a giant mutated alligator whack those people with his giant mutated tail and send them hilariously flying through the air?  Do you like seeing a wedding cake get demolished?  If you answered yes to at least one of those questions, then please watch the carnage unfold below:

Great Moments In Jump Scare History: ‘The Hallway Scene’ From ‘The Prodigy’ (2019)

I enjoy being scared.  No, really – I do.  And there’s nothing better than a good ol’ fashioned jump scare in a horror movie.  It takes a lot to get me to spill my Goobers everywhere or grab onto the total stranger sitting next to me – but when it happens, it’s pretty horror-gasmic.  See what I did there?  Anyway, thanks to my surprise sleeper horror movie so far this year, The Prodigy – I did get a good little jolt in my pants.  Watch the scene below and wait for the moment in the hallway……

Now, imagine being a theater on opening weekend when it was somewhat crowded and that scene happened.  It’s like, you kind of knew something was coming – but at the same time, it seemed like the kid was just going to run and hug his Mom like a normal scared kid would.  Either way, it’s effective and The Prodigy overall was pretty effective in my opinion.  Seek it out if you can, because there’s one other scene that didn’t necessarily make me jump – but it was creepy and well done and got a few yelps from the audience when I saw it. (hint, hint – it’s another face changing scene)

Static-X Is Out On A 20th Anniversary Tour For ‘Wisconsin Death Trip’……With A Mysterious New Frontman!

I am far from ashamed to admit that I was a huge fan of the Nu-Metal movement in the late 90’s/early 2000’s.  Yes, I listened to Korn.  Yes, I listened to (gulp) Limp Bizkit.  And one of my favorite, and somewhat underrated bands, was Static-X.  Their music was also deemed ‘evil disco’ by lead singer Wayne Static, which described not only the sound the band had – but also the energy they brought onstage.

905c2b96-3cde-4589-aa3f-f1080d79a2ff

Sadly, Wayne passed away a few years back amidst tensions still going on with him and the other original members of Static-X.  But alas, the three surviving original members (Tony Campos, Koichi Fukuda, and Ken Jay) have gotten the band back together for a 20th Anniversary tour of the band’s seminal debut album Wisconsin Death Trip!  The best part:  This tour mostly serves as a memorial tribute to Wayne Static, with a mysterious frontman named Xer0 stepping into Wayne’s shoes (and hair) to pay proper homage.

Now, I’ve seen footage of this tour already and it looks pretty amazing. The energy is there – and it’s a finished product that Wayne would be proud of.  It’s also pretty much known who the identity of Xer0 is, but I’ll zip my lips for now to avoid giving away any spoilers. Support from Dope, DevilDriver, Wednesday 13, and Raven Black as openers on the tour.  So, head on over to the band’s website HERE for more info on the tour dates, upcoming new album, and more!  Fun fact:  Wayne used to be in a band with Billy Corgan before he formed Static-X.

Review: Child’s Play (2019)

Can I get my crow barbecued, please?  Yeah – I’m eating crow now because I poo-pooed the new remake/reboot of Child’s Play before it opened this past weekend.  Actually, I kind of dug the first trailer and had an open mind.  And when Mark Hamill was announced as the voice of Chucky (aka Buddi), my mind was even more open.  Then the second trailer dropped and I had doubts, at which point the poo-pooing began.  Next were the ads of Chucky destroying various Toy Story characters (that movie opened the same weekend), which seemed like ‘desperation time’ for me.  But…..low and behold – Child’s Play was actually (gulp) GOOD.   Continue reading