Dirty Horror Presents: The Smug Face Of The Day

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Give Me The Creeps: The Ruins (2008)

Oh sure – a movie about killer plants and vines sure might sound stupid and ridiculous, and that’s because it is.  But in 2008, a film about murderous botanical greenery actually made me squirm and wiggle in my seat and made me think twice about cursing out any plants in the near future.  Don’t ask why I feel the need to curse out plants by the way.  Based on the book by Scott Smith, The Ruins is an effective little flick that had more than enough creepy moments to earn it’s keep on this edition of Give Me The Creeps.

The Ruins is your basic ‘a group or friends go away on a Mexican vacation only to have something really terrible happen to them‘ type of story.  And when things go terrible, boy do they go terrible!  Amputations occur, self-mutilations happen, and probably the most cringe-worthy scene is when the gang tries to rid Amy (Jena Malone) of the vines that have inhabited her body.  So grab some breakfast and click below to see all of the fun:

I guess breakfast probably wasn’t the best thing to enjoy while watching that clip.  If you didn’t squirm at all while watching that, then you’re a bigger man or woman than me by the way.  Sure, the story for The Ruins is preposterous. And sure the only killer plant you might be interested in seeing is Audrey II from Little Shop Of Horrors.  But you can’t deny the overall nastiness of that clip or of the other nastiness that goes down throughout the movie.  To prove my point, I’ll leave you with a parting gift of self-mutilation and an accidental murder.  Enjoy!

Happy Monday!

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Sunday Bloody Sunday: ‘The Truck Scene’ From ‘The Hitcher’ (1986)

So, you’re girlfriend is tied together between two semi trucks while a homicidal maniac played by Rutger Hauer controls her fate with his foot.  What do you do?  If your reply was to do nothing and let that homicidal maniac call you a “useless waste” while he tears the love of your life in two, then you’ve either seen 1986′s The Hitcher or you’re just a heartless piece of sh*t.

Welcome to this week’s Sunday Bloody Sunday where I’m highlighting one of my favorite horror death scenes of all time that actually isn’t that bloody at all.  Yes, I’m talking about the infamous truck scene from The Hitcher (the original, not that toilet paper worthy remake).  To make up for the lack of blood, there are squishy sound effects to accentuate the scene nicely and imply the ‘girlfriend ripping’ carnage.  So click below, and enjoy watching Rutger Hauer chew some scenery:

Did You Know There Were Video Games Based On ‘Nightbreed’? (1990)

Yesterday, I was once again amazed at the marvels of the internet.  Upon doing some deep research for the ugliest women in horror movies, I miraculously stumbled upon the fact that there were two videos games released in conjunction with Clive Barker’s 1990 movie, Nightbreed.  Not since I discovered a similar revelation with the Fright Night video game a little while back have I been so excited about tracking down a Commodore Amiga 500 computer system.

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That’s right.  You’re looking at a video game version of Boone up there as he crouches down, apparently because some grenades are coming his way which is insinuated by the “LOOK OUT GRENADES!” warning at the top of the screen.  This video game was entitled ‘Nightbreed, The Action Game‘ and is reminiscent as far as gameplay of the Fright Night game.  And thanks to Youtube, you can watch a walkthrough of the game and see just what you missed if you weren’t one of the very few that actually made an effort to buy a Commodore Amiga 500.

Wow – those grenades are huge!  I don’t remember those from the movie, but I’m nitpicking at this point.  What’s impressive about all of this, is that even though Nightbreed wasn’t a box-office smash, it garnered two games based on the land of Midian.  The second game was more of an interactive title, which fittingly had the name ‘Nightbreed, The Interactive Movie‘.  If you were lucky enough to actually play either of the versions, feel free to give your insight and reviews.  If you weren’t lucky enough to play them, then feel free to look at the closing screenshot below for the wonderful happy ending of Boone and Lori.  Awwwww.

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Ebay Find Of The Week: ‘Saw VI’ Lollipop

I’m a sucker for tasty suckers.  Especially if those suckers were used as promotional tools for a horror franchise that had five too many sequels.  The joys of scouring Ebay have helped me hit pay dirt again my friends, as I’ve found a “rare” promotional lollipop for Saw VI!

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That’s looks scrumptious.  If you’re salivating like me right now at the thought of eating a sucker that looks like it’s straight out of a doctor’s office ‘Please Take One‘ basket, then I’m glad I’m not alone.  Smack a couple Roman numerals on there and you’ve got something almost as magical as the actual Saw VI movie.  And yes, someone is actually selling this fine promotional specimen for $13.13 on Ebay right HERE.  So if you’re like me and would cut off your left arm to get this candy goodness, then head over there now!  Sorry, I had to use that last line so the picture below would work.  Sometimes comedy doesn’t come easy.

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This New Poster For ‘The Drownsman’ Brings Good News If You Like A Lot Of Hands!

Being toted as a throwback to the original A Nightmare On Elm Street and Hellraiser days, a film called The Drownsman is getting some buzz courtesy of a grabby new poster.

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One hand.  Two hands.  Three hands.  Four…..ok, you get the idea.  There are a lot of creepy hands pulling this poor, defenseless, naked lady into the water while she tries to take a relaxing soak in a tub.  And I could be wrong, but one of those hands looks to be going for a little ‘second base’ territory if you know what I mean (nudge, nudge….wink, wink).

Anyway, The Drownsman revolves around a girl who has hydrophobia:  a fear of water.  I’m sure you can guess where this story will go and I’m sure that there will be an abundance of our friend H2O to make things more complicated for the leading lady who hates getting wet.  Limit the use of CGI (I know that’s a tall order nowadays) and I could be down for this, but we shall see.  Look for the trailer coming soon and stay tuned for more info on The Drownsman.

Great Moments In Jump Scare History: ‘Lawn Work’ From ‘Sinister’ (2012)

Much like the brainless girl who takes her top off and then gets killed minutes later, the jump scare is a necessity in horror cinema.  Sure, it’s a cheap thrill – but that little jolt in my seat can win me over in the end, especially if I’m on the fence about a movie.  It can also make me ponder wearing a diaper, but that’s another embarrassing story.

So many horror movies and so many good jump scares over the years.  But as I was watching 2012′s Sinister last night again, I was reminded of one of the better ones in recent memory.  If you’ve seen Sinister, then you probably know what part I’m talking about.  The creepiest moments of this film are located within the home movies that Ethan Hawke’s character finds while living in his new house.  All of them will make you cringe, but only one has a jump scare worthy of being on the ‘Greatest Moments In Jump Scare History‘ list.  I now present to you:  ‘Lawn Work’

Just Another ‘Maniac’ Monday…..

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Sunday Bloody Sunday: ‘The Death Of Private Rickles’ From ‘Day Of The Dead’ (1985)

One of the joys of watching a horror movie is when the asshole you’ve hated the whole time dies a slow, brutal, deserving death.  And in George Romero’s 1985 zombie gorefest, Day Of Dead, there were plenty of assholes to root for to exit in crowd cheering fashion.  So on this week’s Sunday Bloody Sunday, I want you to reminisce with me about one of those assholes:  Private Rickles.

Private Rickles is a bit of a bumbling idiot who likes to laugh a lot, even when things aren’t really that funny.  Case in point:  He laughs when a bunch of slow-moving zombies pounce on top of him and proceed to tear his face off and chew aggressively on his fingers.  Quite a character, isn’t he?  So join me in watching Private Rickles in his last giggly and gruesome moment from Day Of The Dead and feel free to give a standing ovation if you’d like.