Sound the trumpets! Sunday Bloody Sunday is back! Ok, I see that the fanfare should be more like a small party popper that shoots out confetti with a whimper. Nonetheless, it’s been a minute – so let’s get right into it with one of my favorite death scenes from one of my favorite underrated movies, 1990’s Hardware:
As the title of my post and the title of the Youtube clip states, that was in fact a robot killing a perv. I honestly adore Hardware and still remember being a 14-year-old horror loving whippersnapper the first time I saw it. I dig the style, the story, and the robot. And Iggy Pop is in it! The other thing besides the perv getting his just desserts for being so pervy that I loved about this clip (and the movie in general) is the score by Simon Boswell. Not your typical sci-fi/horror score, which is why I dig it so much. Now go back and watch the clip again and rejoice in the return of Sunday Bloody Sunday and of the perv’s demise!
One thing I dig is discovering new music, especially if that music has a bit of a ‘horror twist’ involved in it. Such is the case with All Hail The Yeti – a metal band hailing from Los Angeles that not only has a new EP coming out November 12th called Within the Hollow Earth…..but also is the opening act on the current Jinjer US Tour. I was actually lucky enough to catch the show in LA last weekend and All Hail The Yeti brought that energy in their performance, and also brought along some Pagan vibes for their stage setup (goat skulls, sage, etc).
Definitely dug their sound, as it merged metalcore with some southern/doom metal. Personal favorite of mine that they performed being ‘Witch Is Dead‘ from their 2016 album Screams From A Black Wilderness. And after seeing them perform on tour, I’m even more ready for the new EP that’s dropping on November 12th! Follow the link HERE to preorder the album Within the Hollow Earth and you can still get tickets to some of the shows left on the Jinjer tour to see All Hail The Yeti unleash some of that new music live. Horns up!
I don’t like to dance. But if I do dance, I usually end up doing some goofy shit like Ed Harris in Creepshow. And even though I’m as light on my feet as Jabba the Hutt wearing brick shoes, I do appreciate a good dancing sequence in a horror movie. Enter in the dancing sequence from Just Before Dawn, a 80’s slasher movie that is often brought up when talking about ‘underrated slashers’. The dancing however, is anything but underrated. Watch!
Now that’s a fun dance party in the middle of the woods when a bunch of hillbillies are trying to kill you! The problem with horror movies today, besides people yelling “Evil Dies Tonight!“, is that there aren’t enough bad dancing sequences to set up the demise of those bad dancers. But anyway, I will jump on the bandwagon as far as Just Before Dawn and tell you to go seek it out on Shudder right now, because it actually is a good underrated slasher movie. And feel free to get up and boogie when you watch it too!
Last year was quite the bummer for all of us fiending for Halloween activities and our usual local haunts. In Los Angeles it was especially sad because one of the best attractions, the Haunted Hayride, was not operating and not a scream could be heard…..only incessant sobbing. But it’s a new year! And 2021 has marked the return of Los Angeles’ Haunted Hayride (insert applause and cheers here), and it will run its course on select nights through October 31st!
I was lucky enough to go check everything out recently, and I definitely recommend making plans to go! One of the things that makes it different from other local LA haunts, is that the natural environment of its location (Griffith Park) adds to the spookiness. As you walk in and go through the tunnel of pumpkins, you enter a spooky little town called Midnight Falls – full of Halloween decor and scare actors roaming around. From there I ventured straight ahead to the main attraction – The Haunted Hayride Experience. Sitting on actual hay in a tractor bed, you’re driven around the grounds as you stop at multiple terrifying set pieces (the animatronic band was my favorite), until you end your journey surrounded by a bunch of killer clowns. Fun!
After that, I ate some french fries. Exciting. And then continued venturing to the area where the 3 walk-through mazes lived. First up was Midnight Mortuary, which had a ton of good detail and scares – and I was luckily enough to go through without a crowd. Next, Trick Or Treat (not to be confused with either horror movie of the same name). The Halloween decor was strong in this one and was really well done. Last but not least, Dead End Diner – which had the best opening walk-through of the bunch. Overall I was pleasantly surprised by all three of them and the effort involved! I then went and ate more french fries.
But seriously, go hit the Haunted Hayride website link HEREfor more details about everything and be sure to grab your tickets! It’s never too early to get into the Halloween spirit! Or become a spirit!!!! (maniacal laughter ensues)
Eh, you know when I put a pun in the post’s title that it’s pretty much all downhill from there. But let’s try and get this back on track and talk about my unbridled enthusiasm for the upcoming horror film The Black Phone. You may recognize that title as a short story in Joe Hill’s 2004 book 20th Century Ghosts, or maybe you yourself have an actual black phone and that’s why the title interests you. Whatever the case, writer/director Scott Derrickson has supersized that short story for the big screen, and even teamed back up with his Sinister chum Ethan Hawke for it!
Hawke plays a serial killer in the movie (donning that creepy mask in the pic up there) who kidnaps a child that he locks in a soundproof basement. The only chance the child has to escape, is by communicating with the killer’s past victims via a…….you guessed it – black phone! Let’s take one more opportunity to admire the killer’s mask again, as it was created by none other than the great Tom Savini. Besides the mask, the other reason I’m writing this post is that The Black Phone was screened recently at Fantastic Fest and the hype is real. Meaning that the reviews have been good. So naturally because of that, my personal hype meter has risen.
The Black Phone won’t unfortunately hit theaters until January 28th, 2022…..but I bet a trailer is right around the corner. Stay tuned for more info on that and the release date, and don’t worry – you can still be excited for the movie even if you don’t have a black phone.
Eeeek! Nothing makes me squeal and get excited more than a brand new haunt experience for the Halloween season! And this year down here in Southern California (Temecula, to be exact), we have a doozy. Yes, Temecula Terror is ready to scare you sheetless (ghost pun) starting on October 1st and wrapping up (mummy pun) on Halloween night. I know what you’re saying…..isn’t Temecula wine country?? Why yes it is, but now it’s also haunt country – so deal with it.
So what can you expect if you take the journey down to Temecula Terror? Well for starters – 3 wickedly terrifying mazes (Hyde Street Haunted House, Butterfield Asylum, and The Crypt) complete with some of the best scare actors and props around. I’ve seen the prep work on the Temecula Terror Instagram page and it looks killer. But what’s a good haunt without some spooky booze? Yes, there will be two bars offering some deliciously demented drinks and a special VIP bar for you VIP folk. There are even some special hours if you want to bring your little monsters by, which you can check out on the Temecula Terror website HERE. And also HERE you can purchase tickets and find out more info on everything. So……will we see you there??? For your sake, I would say yes or else that creepy monster standing behind you right now might not be so kind.
I said his name 5 times looking into the bathroom mirror before I sat down to write this, so maybe I make it through to finish it….maybe I don’t. Anywho…..Candyman! And yes he can be pretty spooky in this sequel (yeah, it’s a sequel), which I know was a concern going in. Could it live up to the original Candyman from 1992?? But how will this movie be any good without Tony Todd?? What about the bees?? THE BEES!! I’m here to happily report that director Nia DaCosta has created a gothic and striking film, that not only pays homage to the original movie…..but elevates it to a new level that could (and probably should) garner sequels in this new Candyman universe.
Oh, Coolio. You used to be…..a thing, I guess. I always hated ‘Gangsta’s Paradise‘, but I know it’s what gave you your stardom. I much prefer the Coolio that was down with WC and the Maad Circle (look it up on Spotify or Apple Music and thank me later). I do not however, prefer the Coolio that was a vampire in the 2004 staight-to-cable movie Dracula 3000. I know what you’re thinking btw – the amazing movie Dracula 2000 had a sequel??? No. No it did not. Which makes Dracula 3000 even more puzzling in a terrible ‘why was this movie even made‘ kind of way. But I’ve spent wayyyyyy too much time talking about this shitfest, so let’s watch a clip of vampire Coolio in action!
I guess I should have warned you that there is delayed audio in that clip, but be honest….would it have mattered? I’m not sure what the highlight is here: Coolio’s tongue slithering? The fact that he used the phrase ‘ejaculate all over your bazongas‘?? Or maybe his lisp when he says ‘Snow White ass‘??? Actually – they’re all equal in greatness. I hope this clip made your day. Or maybe gave you another reason to dislike Coolio.
Finally!! Finally we are getting somewhat back to normal and horror conventions are popping back up, and hopefully haunted houses for Halloween aren’t far off. And there is no bigger horror convention this year, than the gore-ious spectacle that is Son Of Monsterpalooza! And it’s all going down in Burbank, California on October 8-10.
Now….not much has been revealed so far about special guests, but I can tell you that Elvira herself Cassandra Peterson will be there! As well as Nick Castle (Halloween) and Tobin Bell (Saw). More guests, panels, and events will be announced in the next few months – but for now just know that you’ll see a ton of ghoulish vendors, amazing make-up artists, and spooky special exhibits. And don’t forget to dress up! (It will be the month of Halloween, after all)
Go grab your tickets and/or make some hotel reservations HERE, and I will scare you there!
Summer is in full swing, and you know what that means……..sharks are in the water eating people! And also a lot of people are enjoying ice cream. Why, just before I started typing this – I myself had a delicious mint chocolate chip ice cream cone. You know who else is all about making ice cream cones? Clint Howard! And he made the perfect cone in the cult classic 1995 horror/comedy Ice Cream Man. But instead of those gumballs you would see used for eyes on those ‘frog ice cream’ treats, he uses real eyeballs!
Every time I watch that scene I always think the same thing: How the hell does that cop not see the eyeball poking out of the top of the ice cream?!!?! I mean, I don’t just go licking something without looking at it first – and I think I would have noticed an eyeball poking out of my Rocky Road (Rocky…….Road?). But this is a move about a killer ice cream man after all, so I’ll let that tiny detail slide. The moral of this post – go watch Ice Cream Man! Because it’s Clint Howard’s best movie and summertime is the best time to enjoy his zany antics. Now how many of you did your inner Sloth voice when you read the Rocky Road part?