Underrated Xmas Horror: The Children (2008)

Ho Ho Ho!  It’s time to spread that holiday horror cheer and put a little something in your stocking (that sounded somewhat dirty) to make you smile!  And what is Santa going into his sack (keeps getting worse) for?  Well it’s the 2008 British horror movie, The Children! It takes place during Christmas, so just go with it.

To be honest, The Children is a heavily underrated Christmas-themed horror movie.  It’s creepy, well acted, well shot, and has some stomach-turning violence and gore (some against kids, so be warned).  If you haven’t seen it, seek it out and enjoy it over a big glass of egg nog or some kind of ‘high alcohol content’ beverage.  Below is a clip to get your holiday juices flowing.  And speaking of flowing, the aftermath of this scene is pretty gnarly. ‘Slay’ bells ring, are you listening……

Ebay Find Of The Week: ‘Elm Street’ Unofficial Glue!

Glue:  The underrated holiday gift.  Think I’m kidding?  Hardly.  I’m not horsing around and if you’re finding yourself in a sticky situation regarding those holiday gifts this year…….then a strange eBay listing has come to the listing.  Behold:  The unauthorized A Nightmare On Elm Street glue!

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Oh, and it’s ‘multi-purpose’!  Just don’t eat it.  So anyway, yes – this is an actual thing.  And if you go on over to the eBay listing right HERE, then you can learn more about it.  There is some pretty nifty stuff on the back of the bottle having fun with the whole “1, 2….Freddy’s coming for you” rhyme.  While this is some rather expensive glue ($27), I have a feeling that the horror fan in your life might be ok with this being stuffed in their stocking.  Happy Holidays!

Christmas Is Coming. And So Is ‘The Warm Side Of The Door’

Ok, Thanksgiving is over.  Now bring on Christmas so we can all tell our loved ones how much they’ve disappointed us throughout the year.  Oh no, wait – that’s Festivus.  But Christmas, yes!  Cookies and egg nog and sappy trees.  Doesn’t get much better than that!  Unless we’re talking about the classic Christmas song ‘The Warm Side Of The Door‘.  What – you’ve never heard of it?  Shut the warm side of the front door!!  Ok, it’s time to school you then.

See – there’s this movie called Silent Night, Deadly Night about a guy named Billy that dresses up like Santa Claus and kills people and whatnot.  But before Billy goes full loco, there’s a sweet little compilation scene of Billy working at the department store with the song ‘The Warm Side Of The Door‘ playing!  It’s a ridiculously awesome moment in the movie, and it catapulted the songwriter (Morgan Ames) to great heights in the music industry!  Actually it didn’t, but it’s a good song.  So enjoy it below and break it out during your holiday family or work function this year.  Apologies that I don’t have the actual scene from the movie with the song.  Maybe if you ask Santa for it for Christmas, you’ll get lucky.

Why Do I Want To See This New ‘Leprechaun’ Movie So Bad?

**Sits down and eats bowl of Lucky Charms**

Ya know, I was just saying to my friend the other day “Man, I really want to see another Leprechaun movie“.  And low and behold……a trailer was released last week for another Leprechaun movie!  Christmas miracles have started early this year.

Real quick, before I let you watch the trailer for Leprechaun Returns – this is a direct sequel to the first Leprechaun movie from 1993 (that one with that girl from the show Friends).  So, Halloween isn’t the only franchise erasing sequels!  Also, for those wondering – no, Warwick Davis is NOT reprising his role as the little Irish dude who wants his gold.  Fear not though, because I think we will be in good tiny hands with actor Linden Porco.

Oh!  And the bully from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure (Mark Holton…..who was also in the original Leprechaun movie) is back!  So yeah, I’m excited for some reason.  I’m easily amused, especially by wise-cracking killer leprechauns and bad acting.  We can all witness the Christmas miracle of Leprechaun Returns On Demand and digitally when December 11th rolls around.

The Bloody Tampon Scene: It Stains The Sands Red (2017)

If you ready the title of this post and were confused….intrigued….grossed-out….or all of the above – then you’ve come to the right place!  Because if you haven’t seen the 2017 spin on the zombie genre called It Stains The Sands Red, then you missed pretty much the best ‘bloody tampon’ scene ever in a zombie movie.  And probably the only one.

All joking aside, It Stains The Sands Red is a fresh little take on the over-saturated walking dead genre.  A lot of practical effects are are on-hand, making it gory good romp with one scene specifically sticking out to me.  When you’re trying to fend off a zombie who has a quench for blood, how do you lure him away?  With your bloody tampon of course!  Yeah, just watch the clip below and enjoy.  And seek out It Stains The Sands Red if you get a chance too!

Halloween Withdrawals: ‘Trick Or Treat Blues’ From The ‘Son Of Svengoolie’ TV Show!

Booooooo!!! (and not boo as in the ghostly good kind)  Halloween is over.  Christmas is coming.  And like most of you, I am having Halloween withdrawals.  So, what to do?? Well, watch an old parody song clip from the Son Of Svengoolie TV show of course!

Now, before I get into the clip – if you don’t know who or what the Son Of Svengoolie is, it was a horror-themed variety TV show that was based in the Chicago area with the character being played by Rich Koz.  Originally started in the early 70’s under the name Svengoolie (played then by Jerry G. Bishop), Son Of Svengoolie was a HUGE part of my childhood.  Fun fact:  The show is still currently on with new episodes (as Svengoolie again) on MeTV!

But anyway – I was scrolling around Youtube and found this old clip from the 80’s show parodying trick-or-treating with the aptly titled song ‘Trick Or Treat Blues’.  So enjoy the campy 80’s Son Of Svengoolie vibe and don’t fret…..Halloween will be here again before we know it!

Why Can’t We Make Michael Myers Scary Again?

Ok, so I haven’t officially done a review for the new Halloween on my site yet…..but here’s my review of it in a nutshell:

Loved the look of it, loved most of the nods to the original, loved the look of Michael Myers and the fact that Nick Castle was back.  Hated most of the humor, didn’t love the whole ‘I’ve been waiting 40 years for him to escape so I can kill him’ Jamie Lee Curtis storyline, and most importantly……I hated that Michael Myers wasn’t scary. 

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Which brings me to this brief rant.  Now, I enjoyed the new movie just fine.  I didn’t love it.  I didn’t think it was amazing.  And it probably won’t even be in my Top 5 for the year.  But I liked it.  Why can’t we make Michael Myers scary again though?  Oh – I’m sure some people will say that he was scary in this.  Stomping a head into pieces does not make him scary.  Appearing in the shadows, popping up in the background of a shot so you can barely see him, and methodically stalking a victim makes him scary.  And the mask breathing.  None of which was really found here.

I think that’s why the humor was a huge miss for me.  I get it – Danny McBride and David Gordon Green write comedy.  But I don’t need that in a Halloween movie.  Sure, a little humor can help break up the flow of a horror movie in a good way – because the contrast that comes later on with the dread and killing can make it all the more unsettling.  I just really missed my scary Michael when I watched this ‘sequel’.  I even think back to Halloween II (which I honestly love btw), and that scene where Jamie Lee Curtis is crawling across the hospital parking lot.  Just so well done.

I have faith though.  Because there will be a sequel to the new Halloween (money talks…..and Michael’s breathing at the end) – and I am hoping…..and praying…..that Michael Myers can and will be scary again.  And btw – what the hell happened to the asshole boyfriend in the movie?  He didn’t deserve to die?  Psssshhhh.

Sunday Bloody Sunday: ‘Fingers In The Eyes’ From ‘Halloween III – Season Of The Witch’ (1982)

One of my biggest fears is having my eyes gouged out of their sockets.  Mostly because it would hurt like a sonofabitch, and also because it would mean that I wouldn’t be able to see.  And I kind of need to see.  But anyway, it you get your eyes gouged just right…..and in the process get some bones broken……you wouldn’t need to worry about seeing, because you would most likely be dead.  Kind of like that guy in the hospital in Halloween III: Season Of The Witch!

Quick sidenote:  I love this movie.  But moving on to this edition of Sunday Bloody Sunday, yes we’re talking about gouged-out eyes.  Aside from being known for the masks and Silver Shamrock jingle, Halloween III had some pretty sweet death scenes.  And when shop owner Harry Grimbridge thinks he’s safe in the hospital and a mysterious stranger comes into his room, one of those pretty sweet death scenes occurs.  And we get a bonus death somewhat afterwards in the form of gasoline and a lighter!  Btw – how rude is it to wake up Tom Atkins while he’s napping?!?  Ughhhhhh.  Watch it below.  Happy Halloween!!

Halloween Mask Ideas: Creepy Bootleg Michael Jackson ‘Thriller’ Mask!

Hey!  Halloween is coming!  Do you want to find the one mask that will amaze your friends?  Do you want to find the one mask that will stupify your friends?  And do you want to find the one mask will instantly make you dance EXACTLY like Michael Jackson in the Thriller music video???  Ok.  The last part isn’t guaranteed to work, but give it a shot. And feast your eyes on THIS!

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Yikes!  Scarrrrry!  But also pretty fucking awesome.  Yes, that is a mask that is supposed to be zombified Michael Jackson from his infamous Thriller music video.  And apparently (according to the eBay listing), this is a Mexican bootleg.  Take that info as you will, but you should know from reading that part that you will not be able to find this in your local Spirit Halloween store.  But do you want one?  Then head on over to the eBay listing HERE and get your bid on.  Trust me, you’ll be the hit of the party!  Or you’ll frighten a lot of people, but it’s a win-win situation.  Happy Halloween!

‘H40: Halloween 40 Years Of Terror’ Convention Coming To Pasadena This Weekend!

It’s almost time, kids!  Yes, Halloween is almost upon us.  Not just the new movie, but also our favorite time of the year that lands on October 31st.  And what better way to get ready for both than with a massive convention celebrating all of the Halloween movies from the famed franchise – including that upcoming new one!

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The H40: Halloween 40 Years Of Terror convention begins this weekend (October 12-14) in Pasadena, California – which btw is the home of the actual Michael Myers house from the original 1978 film (stop by and check it out while you’re in town for the convention).  The guest list for H40 is impressive.  Below are just a few of the highlights for me:

Nick Castle (the original Michael Myers), PJ Soles (Halloween), Tom Atkins (Halloween III), Tyler Mane (Rob Zombie’s Halloween), David Gordon Green (writer/director Halloween 2018), Rhian Rees (Halloween 2018), and more!

On top of all of your favorite past and present Halloween franchise representers, there will be a ton of panels throughout the weekend highlighting a lot of the films.  Also, the vendors will be out in full frightful force selling all of the best merchandise.  Specifically – make sure to stop by the booths of Mondo, Jason Edmiston, Ghoulish Gary Pullin for some super limited Halloween themed posters and vinyl.

For more info and ticket purchasing for the H40: Halloween 40 Years Of Terror convention, head on over HERE now.  And I will see everyone there this weekend!