Time to loosen up the belt buckle after eating 15 pounds of turkey and stuffing with heavy gravy and give thanks for a few things. And what am I thankful for? Well I’m glad you asked! Because here are my five things that I am thankful for this year. Continue reading
Tis the season for news about Christmas horror movies! And while I’ve heard about this one for a while now, it’s finally picking up steam with some casting choices. I’m talking about Michael Dougherty’s demonic horror/comedy, Krampus.
For those in the dark, Michael Dougherty gave us the amazing (and horribly studio managed) Halloween anthology, Trick ‘R Treat back in 2007. So because of his name alone, I’m already on board with Krampus. The film will revolve around the Alpine country folklore about a demon who would reward good children with gifts and the bad children would get tossed in his sack and taken back to his lair for punishment. Sounds a bit wrong if you ask me and would have scared the shit out of me as a kid had my parents told me that story, but the pics you can find about Krampus online are even more disturbing.
Sweet Mother of God! What the hell is going on there? I was under the assumption that Krampus would just kidnap these kids for a little while, take them back to his untidy lair, and maybe make them eat broccoli or something as punishment for being bad. Apparently I was way off. At least the girl in the pic is enjoying some delicious fruit while the boy is either about to have his ass licked or worse.
Michael Dougherty sounds like he’s definitely going to go the horror/comedy route with this, so expect a tone similar to Trick ‘R Treat. Not a bad thing by any means, but what is kind of bad is that director/writer Kevin Smith is also doing a horror/comedy about Krampus and his will be called Anti-Claus. The more the merrier I guess, so get ready for the battle of the Krampus movies in 2015! Now let’s see another one of those uncomfortable Krampus pics where he’s licking a boy’s head while pulling his ears apart.
There’s nothing more uncomfortable than walking in on your child eating her father’s arm. Yeah, that’s pretty much as uncomfortable as it gets. And unfortunately for Helen in George Romero’s undisputed classic zombie movie Night Of The Living Dead, that’s exactly what happened.
So, on this week’s Sunday Bloody Sunday I’m revisiting that classic cellar scene when Helen came face to face with her zombie daughter, Karen. You see, Karen was quite under the weather because she had gotten bit by a zombie. Which is kind of ironic, because when she became one of the walking dead herself, she got a little bitey as well. Oh – and she also got a little stabby too as evident in the clip below when she decided to show off her gardening tool skills for her Mom.
In case you didn’t know, back in 1993 CBS produced a TV pilot revolving around our favorite top heavy mistress of the dark, Elvira. The show was cleverly titled ‘The Elvira Show‘ and featured Elvira and two big co-stars. I’m not talking about her giant breasts, but about a talking cat named Renfield and actress Katherine Helmond (Mona from Who’s The Boss?).
In the never bought pilot, Elvira moves to Kansas and begins her profession as a fortune teller and magic potion seller. Hilarity and boob jokes ensue, complete with an over-the-top and unnecessary laugh track. Even though this show failed, you can totally see that it was later resurrected as Sabrina The Teenage Witch in 1996. Feel free to watch the show that never was though below, and make sure to keep your distance from the screen because Elvira’s boobs have a tendency to protrude.
Well, file this one under ‘random’. Upon searching for rare horror Ebay items, I came across something from Frank Henenlotter’s (Basket Case, Frankenhooker) 1988 amazing and awesomely bad horror comedy: Brain Damage.
Good thing I was looking for an obscure promotional somewhat used and dirty white promotional horror movie hat, because I struck gold! Now let’s all go to the Ebay link HERE and see how much this slice of awesomeness costs. Hmmmmm – $49.99, huh? Well, that’s a bit too rich for my blood. But hold on! You’re able to make an offer. That gives us, the buyer, a little power now. I would probably go about $20 for this considering the condition it’s in, but maybe your pockets are deeper than mine. I will say this – you’re probably never going to find a Brain Damage hat ever again on Ebay. So it does add to the value for sure. While you mull it over, please enjoy the following NSFW clip below from the movie:
Movies with two names kind of annoy me. But so is usually the case when we’re talking about the Italian horror genre. No matter if you want to call Dario Argento’s 1985 psychic/insect movie Creepers or Phenomena, it has one of the best posters EVER!
Now for whatever reason, there is a version of this poster that isn’t exposing Jennifer Connelly’s half-decaying bug face, but clearly the un-edited version is the keeper here. The image above is actually an ad for the promotion of the VHS version of Creepers, but the tagline on the original poster is “It Will Make Your Skin Crawl“. Fitting, considering there are a bunch of bugs flying around that could actually make your skin crawl.
I have to confess that I haven’t seen this movie in years. And after looking at this poster again, I definitely need to revisit it. Not only does it have the late great Donald Pleasence in it, but how the fuck can you go wrong with a movie that has Iron Maiden and Motorhead on the soundtrack? Another thing that this poster is making me realize is that we need more horror movies about bugs. Whether it’s spiders, cockroaches, or maybe a random remake of 1988′s movie about killer slugs appropriately titled Slugs – everyone can relate to bugs! Get on that Hollywood. Until then, it’s off to Amazon to purchase Creepers or Phenomena or whatever the hell you want to call it.
Here’s a little nugget of knowledge that will help you along as you go through the journey of life: Don’t ever talk shit to someone that’s holding a chainsaw. Especially when you’re already missing appendages and can barely walk.
Welcome to Sunday Bloody Sunday where I’m going full on gore this week with the gnarly ‘chainsaw through the mouth’ killing at the end of 2013′s, Evil Dead. I dug this remake/reboot and the ending definitely got points for letting the red stuff fly! I wouldn’t advise eating your breakfast while you watch this, but click the button below to watch our heroine Mia shut up that demonic abomination for good……
‘If it’s in a word or in a look, you can’t get rid of The Babadook’
Ok – well that’s a frightening sentence. What the hell ever happened to harmless children’s tales like The Cat In The Hat? Welcome to the world of the Australian horror film The Babadook, and welcome to this year’s version of The Conjuring. Continue reading