Review: Found (2014)

What’s the worst thing your brother or sister ever did to you growing up?  Tattle on you to your parents?  Steal your G.I. Joe action figure and flush it down the toilet?  How about reveal to you they were a serial killer that liked to chop people’s heads off and keep them in their closet in a bowling ball bag?  If you said yes to that last one, maybe you should stop reading this and go see a therapist.  But if you didn’t, then the good news is that there’s a new independent horror movie called Found that follows that exact storyline and will give you your serial killer fix.  Is it any good though?  Let’s find out.    Continue reading

Dirty Horror Memory Lane: The Dummy (1982)

If you’re like me and grew up on 80′s horror, then maybe you remember a little weekly running event on the USA Network called Saturday Nightmares? Every Saturday night, you could stay up and watch your favorite horror movies with the nudity edited, but usually the gore staying primarily intact.  It would usually be a double feature, and in between those features you could sometimes catch a little horror short to pass the time before diving into movie number two.

Thanks to Youtube this morning, I stumbled upon one of those aforementioned horror shorts called The Dummy.  I haven’t seen this since my days of convincing my parents to stay up to partake in Saturday Nightmares, and it was definitely a nice trip down memory lane.  Now before you watch, just know that this was a student film and it’s from 1982, so the quality is a bit sketchy. The music is great though and it’s got a creepy killer ventriloquist, so you really can’t go wrong there, right?  On top of all of that, it’s been confirmed that this short inspired the story of Chucky from the Child’s Play franchise.  Keep that in mind when you’re watching!

Sunday Bloody Sunday: ‘Peephole Death’ From ‘Opera’ (1987)

Yep, back to back weeks of Dario Argento movies!  Last week on Sunday Bloody Sunday we had the arm chop from Tenebre.  And this week it’s all about a bullet through a peephole (that would be a good name for a song btw) from Mr. Argento’s 1987 underrated giallo, Opera.

I’m sure a lot of you out there have had some peephole anxiety in the past.  You get a knock on the door, but before you open it – you put your peeper up to the peephole to get a peak at who it is.  The whole fisheye lens can be deceiving and frustrating because it can be hard to get a good look at who’s on the other side.  Unfortunately for Mira (Daria Nicolodi) in Opera, she may have spent a little too much time on peephole patrol.  Without spoiling her ridiculous but entertaining death, I’ll let you watch it below to fully enjoy it:

Give Me The Creeps: ‘Ice Skating Attack’ From ‘Curtains’ (1983)

Creepy doll?  Check.  Creepy mask?  Check.  Typical stupid 80′s horror movie decisions?  Double check.  Welcome to my recurring feature called Give Me The Creeps, where I tell you what scenes from horror movies make me sleep with a nightlight on.

In my opinion, daylight horror movie killings are always creepier than if they’re at night.  And one of the best and most effective scenes that accomplishes the daylight atmosphere is from the 1983 underrated slasher flick, Curtains.  If you’ve seen it, then you know what’s coming.  If you haven’t, you might rethink going on an ice skating excursion this winter.

The thing that’s brilliant about this scene other than the fact that it takes place in broad daylight, is just how well it’s set up.  Sure there’s some cheesy 80′s music to start with, but once Christie finds that creepy ass doll in the snow – you know it’s about to be on.  The killer’s ‘old hag’ mask is one of the creepiest ever in my opinion, and the slow motion skating/stalking more than puts my nerves on edge.  Gotta love that grunting that the killer does too when he or she (I won’t tell if you haven’t seen the movie) is swinging that sickle back and forth.  This is arguably the best scene from Curtains, but you should definitely check out the whole movie if you haven’t.  Synapse Films just released it on Blu-ray, so there’s no excuse not to!

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‘Leatherface: The Acne Years’ Is Coming Soon!

Well, file this one under the ‘What The Fuck’ category.  It was reported yesterday by The Wrap that the newest addition to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre saga is going to focus on Leatherface in his teenage years.  I’ll give that a second to sink in.  What do you think of the news, recently deceased original Texas Chainsaw Massacre star Marilyn Burns?

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Couldn’t have said it better myself.  So yes, it has been confirmed that this is actually happening and it even has a generic uninspired title to go along with the generic uninspired storyline.  It will be called (drum roll please)……..Leatherface!  A lot powerful minds worked on that one.  I won’t apologize for not liking Texas Chainsaw 3D last year.  A couple of good gore scenes aside, it was a train wreck.  And the last thing I ever want to do is sympathize with a deranged killer who wields a chainsaw and likes to wear people’s skin for his masks.  So now we have this news about the prequel to the original 1974 movie where apparently we’ll enter the mind of a teenage Leatherface.

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Since this is going to focus on his teen years, we can now finally see what we’ve always wanted to see when we think of Leatherface.  His acne and that moment where his voice changes.  I’m sure it will be pretty embarrassing for him.  Speaking of which, we might even get to see him get caught by his Mom while masturbating for the first time.  Yikes!  All bad jokes and humor aside, I guess I should wait and hold out a little hope until things get rolling on this prequel.  But I got a funny feeling and a bad taste in my mouth that this isn’t going to go well.  Until the final verdict is in though, I’m dusting off my copy of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre and am gonna give it a watch to make everything right with the world, at least for the moment.

Ebay Find Of The Week: Pumpkinhead Coffee Mug

Tired of your old coffee mug?  Have you been craving one that reminds you of a large demonic creature from the depths of hell that comes to exact revenge thanks to a creepy witch summoning him?

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If you can’t read or maybe don’t have your glasses on, I’ll tell you what that is. It’s a rare Pumpkinhead promotional coffee mug given out to video shop owners back in 1988 when the movie was released on VHS.  Now even though it doesn’t have the face of the great creature that the late Stan Winston created, it’s still a nice little slice of horror nostalgia, especially if you’re a coffee drinker.  Head on over to the listing HERE on Ebay and ‘Buy It Now’ for a reasonable $17!

Holy Sh*t Horror: The Opening Scene From ‘The Descent’ (2005)

In 2005, director Neil Marshall blew my mind with his jump-scare heavy creature feature, The Descent.  And he didn’t waste any time getting us hooked because in the scene I’m highlighting for this edition of Holy Sh*t Horror, the opening credits haven’t even ended yet before the insanity begins and you’re left with your mouth open.  Don’t drool though, because that’s gross.

Now, if this clip below isn’t a PSA to make sure you keep your eyes on the road while you’re driving, I don’t what is.  It’s also a PSA about what can happen to you if karma catches you cheating on your wife.

Holy shit!

Review: 2014 ScareLA Convention (Los Angeles)

Halloween is only a couple months away!  So to get into the spirit, I headed out to the 2014 ScareLA Convention in downtown Los Angeles this weekend and rubbed elbows with a bunch of ghouls and ghosts.  Oh, and I met Sid Haig too!

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Last year, ScareLA was getting it’s feet wet and you could tell that there were definitely kinks to be worked out in the end.  When I arrived on Saturday, I was pretty amazed to see the line literally wrapped around the building all the way down Broadway Avenue.  The word had clearly spread about the convention, and once I got inside (after a fairly long wait) I could see why.  Everything was way bigger and better than last year.

The most notable addition were the free haunted attractions located inside and outside of the building.  It was a nice touch, because nothing says Halloween like going through a spook house and having the shit scared out of you.  Did I mention that there was even a zombie shooting range where you could take out the undead with an airsoft rifle?

ScareLA really stepped it’s game up this year and convinced me and a lot in attendance I’m sure, that they are definitely a force to be reckoned with in the horror convention game.  What sets it apart from other convention experiences that I’ve had, is that the focus is on the fun.  Not a lot of celebrity sightings (except the aforementioned Sid Haig of course), but that’s what makes it unique.  Trust me, you’ll never get bored.

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There were seminars, free movie screenings, pumpkin carving classes, and even a show and presentation celebrating the 45th anniversary of Disney’s Haunted Mansion.  Another great aspect of ScareLA is that since it’s centered around Halloween, they encourage people to dress up.  And because of that and everything else mentioned so far, it truly is an original horror convention that you definitely should attend next year if you’re in the LA area.  Now let’s get ready for Halloween!

Sunday Bloody Sunday: ‘Axe Attack’ From ‘Tenebre’ (1982)

*WARNING: The clip that you’re about to watch in this post contains an extremely unrealistic chopping off of an arm by an axe.  You’ve been warned*

God bless Dario Argento.  Why the hell doesn’t he make good movies anymore though?  That’s a question that could take a while to find an answer to, so lets focus on some of his better work from days past to take our minds off of that.

On this week’s Sunday Bloody Sunday it’s about to get all giallo red up in here, because I’m highlighting one of the best and most ridiculous death scenes from Argento’s 1982 slasher:  Tenebre.  If you haven’t seen the movie, then I’m about to spoil the fact that the character of Jane is about to be hacked up by an axe murderer.  But before she’s done for good, she’s going to decide to paint the beautiful white walls in her house bright red!  I heard that she did always have dreams of becoming an interior designer.

Horror Movie Posters I Love: Dolls (1987)

God bless the 80′s.  And God bless 80′s horror movie posters.  In the past when I’ve done this feature, I’m usually more in love with the poster art than I am with the actual movie.  But this time, there’s equal love going around because it’s all about 1987′s underrated Stuart Gordon classic:  Dolls.

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I’m not going to gush about the actual movie, which is finally getting a proper Blu-ray release from Scream Factory very soon by the way, but I am going to gush about that poster.  To me, all great horror posters have a great tagline.  And in this case, “They Walk, They Talk, They Kill” is simple, but very effective.  Now let’s talk about the creepy half-skeleton face doll that’s prominent on the print.  If you’ve seen the movie, then you know there’s an equally great sight gag with eyeballs involved.  And for the poster, it definitely grabs your attention and your eyes (obvious pun intended).  Great poster, great movie, and a great way to reminisce about 80′s horror!