VHS Horror Movies I Wanted To Rent, But Never Did: Redneck Zombies (1987)

I grew up in a small farm town in Indiana.  For those of you who don’t know, Indiana is a Midwestern state with a lot of cornfields and rednecks.  Oh – and Larry Bird has a car dealership there somewhere too.  So naturally since I’m from an area that’s known to have redneck or two, a young boy who loved horror movies like me would obviously gravitate towards a movie called Redneck Zombies at my local video store, right?

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They’re Tobacco Chewin’, Gut Chompin’, Cannibal Kinfolk From Hell!”  With a tagline like that, how the hell did I never rent this?!?  Not only that, but this rare gift was given to us by none other than Troma Entertainment.  Now, I very much enjoyed The Toxic Avenger in 1984, so what made me pass up renting Redneck Zombies back when I was obsessed with renting horror movies?  I wish I had a simple answer my friends.  I guess I was too busy watching Chopping Mall for the tenth time.

I think it’s finally time though….finally time to raise above the skepticism that I hold and sit down and give Redneck Zombies the viewing it so deserves.  I’ll take baby steps first and watch this clip up on Youtube where the word ‘bodacious’ is used to the best of it’s word ability:

Review: It Follows (2015)

Do you ever get the feeling that someone is following you?  Maybe an old lady who shuffles aimlessly towards you at a snail’s pace?  A normal looking guy with an Abercrombie & Fitch shirt on?  Or maybe a naked lady with no front teeth who pees uncontrollably on the floor as she gets closer?  That last one may seem a bit specific, but not if you’ve seen the new buzzworthy independent horror film, It Follows.    Continue reading

New ‘Boogieman’ Video From Twiztid Featuring Reggie Bannister from Phantasm!

I’ve been fiending some horrorcore lately.  For those unaware, horrocore is a subgenre of hip hop that incorporates horror imagery within the lyrics and music.  You can thank The Geto Boys, Esham, and Brotha Lynch Hung for being the trendsetters and giving us songs about killing babies and chopping up people with meat cleavers.  Fun!  One group that took the horrorcore baton and ran with it is Twiztid, a Detroit based group with over 25 albums to their name and a strong love for the world of horror.  Speaking of which, they just so happen to have a new video for the song “Boogieman” off of their new album, The Darkness, that shows that love.

Reggie Bannister from the Phantasm franchise!  He’s looking a bit old which is kind of sad, but still was awesome to see him pop up in this video.  Makes me want Phantasm: Ravager to get here sooner than later.  Tyler Mane, who played Michael Myers in the Rob Zombie Halloween movies, was also up in there, as well as were some creepy marionette versions of the guys from Twiztid.  Oh but wait – it doesn’t stop there with new video and new album…..Twiztid will be hitting the road starting in May for their ‘Back To Hell: The Darkness Tour‘ and will run though the middle of June.  Something tells me they will have some horror themes incorporated into their stage show, so make sure and go check ‘em out!

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Sunday Bloody Sunday: ‘Death By 2 X 4′ From ‘The Stepfather’ (1987)

Move over Hacksaw Jim Duggan – you’re not the only one that knows how to swing a big piece of wood.  That didn’t quite sound right, but whatever.  Henry Morrison a.k.a. Jerry Blake a.k.a. The Stepfather sure loves swinging the ol’ 2 X 4, especially over a guy’s head!

On this week’s Sunday Bloody Sunday, I’m going back to 1987 where actor Terry O’Quinn played in my opinion, one of the best horror movie psychopaths ever.  And in this particular scene, his character of Jerry Blake doesn’t take too kindly to people snooping around in his business.  He has a very strict ‘No Snooping’ policy, and in this instance it involves slapping some lumber repeatedly over a nosy doctor’s head.  Enjoy the pummeling below, and if you haven’t seen this underrated gem, do yourself a favor and seek it out.

Ebay Find Of The Week: ‘Jack Frost 2: Revenge Of The Mutant Killer Snowman’

The day is finally here!  It’s the day where I post something up about Jack Frost 2: Revenge Of The Killer Snowman.  Yes, as if one killer snowman movie wasn’t enough – in the year 2000 they done went and made a sequel. And it was equally as terrible as the first.  Congrats on that.  But this is about Ebay horror finds of the week, so feast your eyes upon this!

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Awwwww yeah!  Those are exactly what you think they are.  Replicas of the little killer snowmen from Jack Frost 2!  And someone is selling them on Ebay for $25 and they’re made to order.  And you can get them bloody or non-bloody, so it’s all about choices.  The best part of this listing, besides the fact that these are actually real, is the title the seller used:  jason jack frost 2 freddy myers mask horror prop bust dvd bluray movie snowman.  It’s almost as if he has a severe case of Ebay ADD and just starting typing random horror terms.  Whatever the case, you can purchase one HERE if you want – and if you need more convincing, feel free to check out the trailer below for Jack Frost 2: Revenge Of The Killer Snowman:

Dirty Horror Memory Lane: Gremlins Gizmo Toy Commercial (1984)

1984 wasn’t just about the introduction of the one and only Freddy Krueger into the horror world, it was about the introduction of the equally frightening Mogwai named Gizmo from Gremlins!  Ok, that lovable little creature is nowhere near as menacing as a burned-face child molester with razor fingers, but if you feed a Mogwai after midnight – bad things happen, man.  Luckily, I never had to worry about that with my Gizmo plush toy that I had as a kid.

Well wasn’t that just a happy little commercial!  A bit too happy if you ask me – especially knowing that terrible things that could occur if you don’t follow the rules when caring for a Mogwai.  But like I said, this was a toy – and toys can’t multiply if you get water on them.  Based off of the commercial though, it seems it’s ok to put sunglasses on Gizmo because that protects him from the sunlight of course.  You know what watching that commercial put me in the mood for?  No, not the porn movie parody starring Jizzmo, but the terribly tasting cereal that came out to promote the movie.  Here’s a clip to remind you that if you ate the cereal, you would grow Mogwai ears:

Great Scenes In Good Movies: 30 Days Of Night (2007)

Certain horror movies frustrate the hell out of me.  And nothing is more frustrating than having a GOOD horror movie with a GREAT scene.  Why you ask?  Because it shows that the potential was there to make that good movie a great one.  To me, nothing personifies this more than 2007′s vampire flick, 30 Days Of Night.

First off, I don’t hate this movie.  I actually kind of like it, but when I was done seeing it for the first time I realized that I could have loved it if it was done differently.  Too much screeching from the vampires.  Too much Josh Hartnett. And I never really believed that the group had really endured 30 days of night. But, I liked the overall look of the movie.  I liked Danny Huston.  And I absolutely LOVED this scene below:

Sigh.  That scene depresses me because it’s just so well done, and the movie as a whole is not.  That overhead shot is beautiful, in a sick and twisted way, and watching the carnage unfold from a bird’s eye view is rather glorious.  It actually reminded me of the opening to Zack Snyder’s Dawn Of The Dead from 2004. Hmmmm – maybe it was inspired by that?  Who knows.  But what I do know is that Danny Huston can play a record with his vampire fingernails, and that’s pretty awesome.

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Happy Friday The 13th!!!

Are we really having two Friday The 13th’s in two straight months?  Yes, it’s true and it’s a glorious time for all of my diehard Friday The 13th movie fans out there.  One of my fondest memories of watching this franchise was staying up on a Saturday night and watching the marathon that used to take place on the USA Network on cable.  When I wasn’t staring at USA Up All Night host Rhonda Shear’s breasts (folks who watched know what I’m talking about), I was anticipating some hacking and slashing from the one and only Mr. Voorhees.  So my nostalgia meter definitely went off the charts this morning when I found this old promo on Youtube from one of those marathons.  Check it out below and enjoy!

Dirty Horror Presents: This Will Give You Nightmares……

Few things in the world today make me feel uneasy when I watch them. Jennifer Lopez romantic comedies are one, and another would probably be Memory Hole.  What’s Memory Hole, you ask?  Take a look:

Yeaaaaaaah – fuck those VHS anthology horror movies.  Just string about 50 of these things together and you’ll have something far creepier than anything you’ll find there.  As far as I can tell, Memory Hole consists of one or more people who find old VHS footage (or possible create their own) and put it out for the masses to view and freak out over.

I seriously feel like I’m watching a snuff film or something when I watch some of their clips, and because of that I feel the need to run to take a shower after my viewing experience.  It’s ok though, because I’m probably a bit stinky anyway.  Enough about my bad hygiene, go check out the Memory Hole site HERE and watch one more clip below.  Bad news if you have a fear of chinless dancers.  You’ve been warned…….

Review: Clown (2015)

I’ve got coulrophobia.  No, it’s not contagious and it’s not something that I have to go get checked out at the doctor for.  There is no medicine.  There is no cure. Coulrophobia is the fear of clowns.  And thanks to the new Eli Roth produced horror movie Clown, my coulrophobia is out of control.  Continue reading