Now if any of you know me, you know I look forward to one thing every year…..something monumental…..something that I cherish and always will…..a special moment in my life that I can look back and reflect on………………….my wedding anniversary? Pffft – no (kidding honey, kidding!) It’s Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights! And if you’ve read my blog, you know I’ve already done a post on the new La Llorona maze coming this year. A few days ago, Universal dropped the info on another maze to be added, a re-imaging of Universal’s classic horror icons called Universal Monsters Remix. Oh – I forgot to mention that it’s all set to the fear inducing sounds of Dubstep! Check out the frightening font for the logo below if you dare!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok…..Halloween Horror Nights – let’s talk for a minute. Now you know I love you. You know that I love seeing you every year and I even open the car door for you and kiss you on the cheek at the end of the night because I’m a gentleman. And I understand that you never know what to do with the space containing House Of Horrors (which runs year round at Universal Studios), but I feel betrayed by you and hope we don’t have to break up because of it.
Dubstep has nothing to do with horror. I understand you’re trying to come up with something that the kids are into nowadays, but it just seems desperate. I don’t want to feel the need to bust a funky dance move while I’m walking through a maze. And I sure as hell don’t want to see Dracula come out breakdancing in front of me while I cling to my wife.
Now I’m willing to keep an open mind before I shut it when I hear the first second of the Dubstep playing. And the fact that so far, they’ve taken the bad taste of this out of my mouth by including a Walking Dead, Silent Hill, Alice Cooper 3D, and new La Llorona maze this year. Reaction to the Dubstep maze seems mixed online. So my guess is that I’ll see some kids wearing skinny jeans with fox tails sticking out of their back pockets getting down to the tunes while I’m ready to hit the snack stand for a day old, stale churro. I’m imagining the Creature From The Black Lagoon poplocking as I come around a corner and my only thought will be “shouldn’t you be belting out a number at that awful musical you were in?” Sidenote: yes, there was a Creature From The Black Lagoon musical.
Halloween Horror Nights opens on September 21st and runs through October 31st. You can get updates and get tix here. One more maze is being announced today, so my fingers are crossed for something to override the impending Dubstep classic horror icon maze that is upon us. Maybe they’ll surprise us. Maybe it will be something so unexpected….so disturbing….so alarming that we’ll have no choice but to rejoice in horror jubilation! Hellraiser? The Exorcist? Texas Chainsaw Massacre? Teen Wolf?
**UPDATE** They announced yesterday that the sixth and final maze is indeed based off of Tobe Hooper’s Texas Chainsaw Massacre. So if you’re not into dupstepping with Frankenstein, you can head on over and tango with Leatherface instead.