Anticipation Alert: Return To Nuke ‘Em High

The shitty horror movie has always existed and still does of course (that was too easy of a set up for Smiley).  But the beauty of a shitty horror movie is if it actually knows it’s shitty.  Which is why growing up, I always could rely on Troma Entertainment to supply me with my “so shitty, it’s good” movie quota. Founder of Troma, Lloyd Kaufman, is a king in the independent movie scene. And in a future post, I’ll tell you exactly why.  But the matter of this post today is not about that, but about the sequel that has been almost 27 years in the making.  Everyone who watched Troma’s 1986 classic Class Of Nuke ‘Em High on USA’s Up All Night, can finally exhale and rejoice….because in 2013, Tromites around the world will finally have Return To Nuke ‘Em High!

Oh Troma.  How I’ve missed you.  

Dissecting the poster for a minute, why is the one hot girl holding a duck?  And why is the other hot girl holding a mop and a taco?  If you’ve ever seen a Troma movie, then you know that the answers to these questions will be told, even though they still might not make any sense in the end.  That’s the beauty of it though.  Troma films are the ultimate “turn off your brain” movies and they make you focus on the excessive practical gore and topless women to make up for everything else.  When I watched Hobo With A Shotgun last year, I could have easily been duped into thinking it was a Troma movie.  And I mean that as a compliment to Hobo by the way.  Now let’s talk about this Nuke ‘Em High sequel a little more, shall we?

*this guy is oozing with personality*

Not that the plot really matters, but this time around we follow a couple who finds themselves up against the school glee club that has mutated into a gang called The Cretins.  I think that’s all you really need to know.  Expect green ooze.  Expect boobs.  Expect more boobs.  And expect to see more than one thing that you will mostly likely be extremely offended by.  Troma films aren’t for everyone, so if you’re sensitive, I highly recommend you keep away. Return To Nuke ‘Em High will grace us with it’s disgusting presence in 2013, so you can judge happily for yourself.  Until then, pick up the original HERE and get your Cretin fix!

*best morning school announcements ever!*

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