Dirty Horror Presents: More Shitty Michael Myers Halloween Masks!

Alright kids….Halloween is only a week and a half away!  So quit procrastinating about what you want to be this year, when the answer is clearly a bad representation of Michael Myers.  That’s right – another year and another batch of bad Michael Myers Halloween masks have hit online.  Don’t believe me?  Well then let’s take a look, shall we?   



To me – this is the kind of Michael Myers mask that you would wear if you’re trying to impress a girl.  Clearly you’ve worked on your hair and gave it a little something special to try and woo her.  Apparently this mask lights up, but I’m not sure quite where.  I’m assuming the eyes, but then that would just distract you from that magnificent hair, which is counterproductive if you ask me. 



Good news for those of you wanting to look like both Michael Myers and Larry Fine from The Three Stooges this year!  The only thing more impressive than that mop on top is the fact that the eyebrows are a true work of art.  Color me impressed.


Ok – now this one could be taken two ways.  One, it’s an homage to hair bands and you should have a can of Aqua Net hairspray as an accessory.  Or two, you stuck your finger in a light socket and this was the hilarious result.  Either way, it’s a win! 


Jesus.  Imagine this looking at you in your bedroom window.  I might actually buy this one because it’s so fucking creepy.  But then I imagine it in a Halloween movie and I can’t help but laugh.  Nice hair btw.  Has kind of a Patrick Bateman thing going on…..


And finally…..the perfect Michael Myers mask for those of you who want to look nothing like Michael Myers this Halloween!  Where to begin with this one – The hair?  The facial features?  The hair???  The good news is that this and all of the above masks are for sale on Ebay.  Don’t everybody rush at once – remember your manners, people.  

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