Ahhhh…..the good ol’ days of browsing the video store and picking up any and every VHS copy of a horror movie. Some I rented, some I put back down. But if I did pick it up, chances are that it had something deliciously sweet on the cover art. I never rented the movie that I’m about to talk about, but I did recently watch it on Amazon Prime. And that movie is called Offerings – a 1989 (looks older than that) slasher/comedy that sucks off John Carpenter’s Halloween hard (among other slasher movies as well) and might be one of the best worst horror movies ever!
Let’s get down to business though. Take a look at the original VHS cover art:
Now, from looking at that cover you would think you would be in store for some great slasher goodness, right? Even the tagline ‘Remember him before he dismembers you!” is pretty snazzy. And my eyes keep going back to the great artwork of the guy holding the gift dripping with blood. I bet the ‘offerings’ they’re speaking of are people’s severed body parts!
Offerings is pretty much the stereotypical ‘bully gets revenge’ horror movie. Not that it’s a bad thing mind you – but what is bad is the acting, the camera work, the soundtrack, and pretty much everything else in it that borrows super heavily from Halloween. But……therein lies the charm, my friends! Offerings is a terrible movie – no doubt about that. It’s the kind of bad that is best viewed with a group of friends either stoned and/or ridiculously drunk. If you’re a fan of horror movies with bad puns btw, then this will hit all of the right spots and give you a horrorgasm. Enjoy the trailer below for proof, but don’t forget to glance back up at that surprisingly good VHS cover art before you leave the post!