Southern California’s Newest Haunt ‘Temecula Terror’ Is Coming In October!

Eeeek! Nothing makes me squeal and get excited more than a brand new haunt experience for the Halloween season! And this year down here in Southern California (Temecula, to be exact), we have a doozy. Yes, Temecula Terror is ready to scare you sheetless (ghost pun) starting on October 1st and wrapping up (mummy pun) on Halloween night. I know what you’re saying…..isn’t Temecula wine country?? Why yes it is, but now it’s also haunt country – so deal with it.

So what can you expect if you take the journey down to Temecula Terror? Well for starters – 3 wickedly terrifying mazes (Hyde Street Haunted House, Butterfield Asylum, and The Crypt) complete with some of the best scare actors and props around. I’ve seen the prep work on the Temecula Terror Instagram page and it looks killer. But what’s a good haunt without some spooky booze? Yes, there will be two bars offering some deliciously demented drinks and a special VIP bar for you VIP folk. There are even some special hours if you want to bring your little monsters by, which you can check out on the Temecula Terror website HERE. And also HERE you can purchase tickets and find out more info on everything. So……will we see you there??? For your sake, I would say yes or else that creepy monster standing behind you right now might not be so kind.

Review: Candyman (2021)

I said his name 5 times looking into the bathroom mirror before I sat down to write this, so maybe I make it through to finish it….maybe I don’t. Anywho…..Candyman! And yes he can be pretty spooky in this sequel (yeah, it’s a sequel), which I know was a concern going in. Could it live up to the original Candyman from 1992?? But how will this movie be any good without Tony Todd?? What about the bees?? THE BEES!! I’m here to happily report that director Nia DaCosta has created a gothic and striking film, that not only pays homage to the original movie…..but elevates it to a new level that could (and probably should) garner sequels in this new Candyman universe.

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LA’s ‘Haunted Hayride’ Returning In 2021 On September 24th – October 31st!

Last year was quite the bummer for all of us fiending for Halloween activities and our usual local haunts. In Los Angeles it was especially sad because one of the best attractions, the Haunted Hayride, was not operating and not a scream could be heard…..only incessant sobbing. But it’s a new year! And 2021 will mark the return of Los Angeles’ Haunted Hayride (insert applause and cheers here), starting on September 24th and continuing on select nights through October 31st!

And if you go over to the Haunted Hayride site HERE right now, you can sign up for a special presale price of $24.99 per ticket! This will run until September 8th, where at that time tickets will be full price ($34.99). And to entice you some more to click that link right up there – here are a few more of the attractions for 2021 that you’ll be ‘dying‘ to get into when you go:

Midnight Falls Scare Zone: A spooky little town that will be hosting its 13th annual Halloween Festival. Oh, did I mention that this town is always set in the year 1985? Visiting the Midnight Falls residents in the town square, and exploring the local establishments, reveal more of the strange and sinister secrets behind this eerie town.

The Haunted Hayride Experience: Within the foothills of Midnight Falls, The Hayride leads to a thrilling adventure of horrors afflicting the town. Out in the darkness, a portal has opened spilling hideous creatures from its rotted mouth. The spirit of Halloween comes to life surrounding helpless victims brave enough to board The Hayride. Oh, and did I mention that there is a Witch seeking revenge on the town that you’ll encounter along the way???

In addition to what I’ve already mentioned – there will be more mazes, scare zones, goblins, ghouls, zombies, and maybe even some food if you get hungry. Or…..perhaps you will be the food!!!! (maniacal laughter ensues)

But seriously, go hit the presale link HERE and feel free to roam around the Haunted Hayride website for more info and details. It’s never too early to get into the Halloween spirit! Or become a spirit!!!! (more maniacal laughter ensues)

That One Time Coolio Was A Vampire In ‘Dracula 3000’ (2004)

Oh, Coolio. You used to be…..a thing, I guess. I always hated ‘Gangsta’s Paradise‘, but I know it’s what gave you your stardom. I much prefer the Coolio that was down with WC and the Maad Circle (look it up on Spotify or Apple Music and thank me later). I do not however, prefer the Coolio that was a vampire in the 2004 staight-to-cable movie Dracula 3000. I know what you’re thinking btw – the amazing movie Dracula 2000 had a sequel??? No. No it did not. Which makes Dracula 3000 even more puzzling in a terrible ‘why was this movie even made‘ kind of way. But I’ve spent wayyyyyy too much time talking about this shitfest, so let’s watch a clip of vampire Coolio in action!

I guess I should have warned you that there is delayed audio in that clip, but be honest….would it have mattered? I’m not sure what the highlight is here: Coolio’s tongue slithering? The fact that he used the phrase ‘ejaculate all over your bazongas‘?? Or maybe his lisp when he says ‘Snow White ass‘??? Actually – they’re all equal in greatness. I hope this clip made your day. Or maybe gave you another reason to dislike Coolio.

‘Son Of Monsterpalooza’ Coming Back To Burbank On October 8-10!!

Finally!! Finally we are getting somewhat back to normal and horror conventions are popping back up, and hopefully haunted houses for Halloween aren’t far off. And there is no bigger horror convention this year, than the gore-ious spectacle that is Son Of Monsterpalooza! And it’s all going down in Burbank, California on October 8-10.

Now….not much has been revealed so far about special guests, but I can tell you that Elvira herself Cassandra Peterson will be there! As well as Nick Castle (Halloween) and Tobin Bell (Saw). More guests, panels, and events will be announced in the next few months – but for now just know that you’ll see a ton of ghoulish vendors, amazing make-up artists, and spooky special exhibits. And don’t forget to dress up! (It will be the month of Halloween, after all)

Go grab your tickets and/or make some hotel reservations HERE, and I will scare you there!

That Time Clint Howard Gave A Cop An Ice Cream Cone With An Eyeball In It…..

Summer is in full swing, and you know what that means……..sharks are in the water eating people! And also a lot of people are enjoying ice cream. Why, just before I started typing this – I myself had a delicious mint chocolate chip ice cream cone. You know who else is all about making ice cream cones? Clint Howard! And he made the perfect cone in the cult classic 1995 horror/comedy Ice Cream Man. But instead of those gumballs you would see used for eyes on those ‘frog ice cream’ treats, he uses real eyeballs!

Every time I watch that scene I always think the same thing: How the hell does that cop not see the eyeball poking out of the top of the ice cream?!!?! I mean, I don’t just go licking something without looking at it first – and I think I would have noticed an eyeball poking out of my Rocky Road (Rocky…….Road?). But this is a move about a killer ice cream man after all, so I’ll let that tiny detail slide. The moral of this post – go watch Ice Cream Man! Because it’s Clint Howard’s best movie and summertime is the best time to enjoy his zany antics. Now how many of you did your inner Sloth voice when you read the Rocky Road part?

The Buzz Is Back: Thoughts On The New ‘Candyman’ Trailer

While everyone has a circle jerk for the new Halloween Kills trailer, I have been grabbing tissues for the new Candyman trailer that came out a few weeks ago. Oh you didn’t see it yet? Well take a look!

While I know the original 1992 Candyman, as well as Tony Todd’s performance, gets a lot of love….I still feel like that movie doesn’t get the credit it really deserves. And might as well also mention that I dug the sequel. Not that abomination of a third movie though. But anyway, back to the new Candyman! Directed by Nia DaCosta, with a screenplay by Jordan Peele among others – this new vision of our favorite bee-utiful hooked madman looks like it checks all of the boxes based off of the new trailer.

We’ve got some strong actors in this one (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Colman Jason Domingo), as well as some nice little cameos from the original movie. But the thing that really grabbed me with the new trailer (besides the fact that it didn’t give away too much like other recent…ahem….trailers) was that style and the visuals it gave off. This is one of those movies where I will probably go in with my expectations wayyyyyy too high. But I’ll leave them high for now (and leave them verrrrrry low for Halloween Kills) in hopes for the start of a new chapter in the Candyman franchise! Now let’s take a look at one more clip from the movie where Candyman gets his revenge on two morons that deserve it!

Ah ha! Just kidding. That was clearly from the movie Tommy Boy. Beeeeeees!!!!!!

Rapid Review Roundup: A Quiet Place Part II, The Conjuring 3, & Caveat!

I just pinched myself because I enjoy feeling pain at times, and also because it’s FINALLY safe to go back to the movies! Well, not if you consider’talking 10-year-olds sitting next to you while watching a horror movie‘ safe…….but still somewhat safe nonetheless. And the first movie in well over a year that I did see in the theater was…..A Quiet Place Part II: Electric Boogaloo. What a snappy title that would have been.

My rapid review for A Quiet Place Part II would go something like this: This was definitely not a sophomore slump for John Krasinski. Loved the opening sequence that showed the preface to the madness that unfolded in the previous film. Tense and loud (in a good way) from beginning to end, but also quiet at times because that’s the movie’s sweet spot. That bear trap part though (yikes). Cillian Murphy can do no wrong. Not much bad to say about it honestly, other than that I think the series needs to end with this one. But…..a third one already got green-lit (shrug).

Let’s move on to The Conjuring 3: Electric Booglaoo! Oh, I mean – The Conjuring 3: The Devil Made Me Do It. For this one, I did not venture to the theater – but to my couch via HBO Max. So let’s talk: Very strong opening sequence in this one too. Uh oh – 20 mins in and I was already a little bored. I think I’m kinda over possession movies. But hey! Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson are still great. That big fat guy from the morgue though (yikes). Decent climax (that’s what she said), but I think I’m Conjuringed out. Definitely my least favorite in the series, but I didn’t hate it.

Time for the wildcard in this review roundup – a little Irish mood piece called Caveat, which is available to stream now on Shudder. So, let’s chew the fat on this one: Oh my, that toy bunny is pretty terrifying. One of my fears is having to be chained up to the point where I can’t reach the toilet in the bathroom. This movie is directed and written by Damian McCarthy and is his first feature! Extremely dark, unsettling, but interesting as well – it keeps things moving without slowing down too much. I had read that some thought the ending was abrupt and unsatisfying – but I disagree. Easily one of my biggest surprises of the year so far. Go check Caveat out on Shudder. PS – I liked it better than The Conjuring 3 (shrug again).

Update: ‘Antlers’ Is Still Coming This Year!

Few things have kept me staying positive this year so far. Yeah, we seem to be getting over the hump as far as this Covid thing. Yippee. And yeah, Ben Affleck and J-Lo seem to be back together. Hooray. But, the one thing that keeps me going this year is the fact that the movie Antlers (yes, that movie I have talked about constantly and will most certainly go into with my hopes way too high) is finally coming to theaters on October 29th!

Yeah, you can keep your Chris Rock wannabe Saw movies and your Halloween Kills (still a stupid fucking title btw) – I’m all about Antlers! I wonder how many antlers will be in the movie though. Just one pair? Several? A whole gaggle of antlers???? Only time will tell and we now know for sure that all will be seen and answered on October 29th! As I previously stated, my excitement for this movie has a good chance of setting the bar wayyyyyy too high and I could walk out of the theater cursing the very antlers that I was so interested in seeing. But…..I will keep my excitement level high! ANTLERS!

Give Me The Creeps: The Ending To ‘Dead Of Night’ (1977)

While scrolling through movies to watch on Amazon Prime last night, I stumbled upon something I hadn’t see since I was probably in my single digits age-wise. But before I tell you about the movie I found, let me preface that by saying that back in the 70’s and 80’s – there were some pretty creepy made-for-TV movies out. And one of those movies that always stuck with me was the 1977 anthology offering Dead Of Night.

Comprised of three tales, the only one really worth mentioning is the last one called ‘Bobby‘ (unless of course you enjoy watching Ed Begley Jr fawn over an old car). It’s a creepy little yarn about a mother who summons her deceased son back from the dead, after he drowned. And yes, his name is Bobby – hence the name of the story. Btw – if you want to do a fun drinking game, take a shot every time Bobby says “Mommy“. But anyway, when I saw this as a kid – it scared the shit out of me. Especially the very last shot. Now, if you want to watch the whole segment – seek it out on Amazon Prime. If you just want to see the last scene that I’m talking about, watch the Youtube clip below with subpar video quality.

Yeah, that’s 3 shots you have to take just from watching that 40 second clip. Mommy!