I Seem To Have ‘The Brain’ On My Brain…..

Quick.  What’s the best horror movie about a gigantic man-eating brain?!?  Ahhh – if you didn’t say 1988’s Canadian horror yuck-fest The Brain, then you can see yourself out the door.  I hadn’t thought about this movie in ages.  I remember watching the VHS copy when I was like 12.  And although the premise is about as stupid as you would think for an 80’s horror movie (TV show host brainwashes his viewers and plans to rule the world), I dug the hell out of The Brain!

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Cut to why I’m writing about it now, and that would be because one of the best resin toy makers in the game, Deadly Delivery (a collab effort of Retroband and Zectron), recently released a mini version of our favorite man-eating brain!  You can catch a glimpse HERE, but unfortunately it is now sold out.  But it really got me to thinking about this movie.  And it really got me to thinking about how it needs a proper Blu-ray release too.  It never even received a proper DVD release either (sad frowny face).

So let’s all put our brains together and think about how we can make this happen.  More people need to see The Brain!  It’s common knowledge.  Oh, I know what we can do!  We can take it to the streets like they did in the 60’s.  I’m sure no one would be annoyed if I was preaching the greatness of The Brain through a megaphone while shoving clips from the movie in people’s faces as they walk out of Target after shopping.  But until we win the battle of getting this underrated 80’s horror gem it’s Blu-ray due, why don’t you just search on Youtube to watch the movie in full.  I’ll allow it.

Horror Movie Posters I Love: Mortuary (1983)

Show me a good 80’s horror movie poster and I will pretty much be putty in your hands. And speaking of hands, one of my favorite posters from the 80’s horror genre involves a hand!  Yes, the 1983 movie called Mortuary has one of the more striking posters to involve a hand raising up out of a dirt grave.  Check it out below:

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Yeah!  How about that hand?!  Not only is that artwork boner worthy, but the taglines are classic too.  Even the font on the title of Mortuary is making me drool.  And you all know how I love to drool.  This movie is best known for one of the first on-screen performances of the late great Bill Paxton.  And honestly, that’s the only real reason you should seek it out.  But, we’re talking posters here – and the Mortuary poster is top notch Grade A goodness.

I often sit and daydream about if today’s horror movies had posters that looked this good. I really have no life, so I have the time.  Some do go the retro route, but nothing will beat anything from the original decade where a crappy movie could have such a kick-ass poster.  So, kudos to you Mortuary, and all of your snazzy poster artwork and clever taglines.  Oh, and RIP to Bill Paxton.

Give Me The Creeps: This New Trailer For ‘Hereditary’

It’s far and between that I watch a horror movie trailer, and then re-watch about five more times quickly after.  Such is the case for the new trailer for the film written and directed by Ari Aster called Hereditary.  Just the tease alone, that you’ll see below, made me want to go take a shower.

Not even sure where to begin with this one.  But first, yes – the buzz is already very strong on Hereditary thanks to it’s screening at Sundance last month.  Being toted as ‘This generation’s Exorcist‘, those are obviously very strong words.  Judging from the trailer though, that might not be crazy talk.

The visuals incorporating the dollhouse into real life are stunning, as is the last half where we see horrible things.  Horrible, horrible things.  A kid bashing his head against a desk, creepy crawlies crawling all over someone, a person engulfed in flames, and some serious chopping with a kitchen knife.  All of this is accompanied by some unnerving music that sets the tone for what this movie experience is going to be like.  Hereditary opens on June 8th.  Make sure you bring an extra pair of underwear to the screening though.  I’m thinking you might need it.

Let’s Listen To A Giddy Gene Siskel Talk About ‘Carnosaur’ (1993)

I’ve written about their show before, but one of my favorite memories of growing up was watching Siskel & Ebert every week to see if they were going to review any horror movies.  And nothing is more of trip than when they reviewed Roger Corman’s Carnosaur back in 1993.  I can’t do the clip any justice, but I will say that one of the highlights is Roger Ebert emphasizing that he thinks Stephen Spielberg will do a better job with the look of his dinosaurs in his upcoming movie (which of course was Jurassic Park).  And also Gene Siskel gleefully discussing and pleading his case for how good the plot was for the movie.  Just do yourself a favor and watch below, please 🙂

The ‘ASTRONOMICON CONVENTION’ Is Coming To Sterling Heights, Michigan On February 9th-11th!

I love me a good convention.  More specifically, one that showcases the best from the horror AND wrestling worlds!  So, it’s no surprise that I’m a little bummed out I don’t live closer to Michigan because the Astronomicon Convention is happening in just a few weeks and here are some of the big names that will be attending:  Sid Haig (House Of 1000 Corpses), Bill Moseley (House Of 1000 Corpses), Kane Hodder (Friday The 13th Part VII), Kevin Nash (WCW), Booker T (WCW), and more!

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What better way than to celebrate the weekend before Valentine’s Day, than with a romantic getaway to the Astronomicon Convention?  That’s right, the convention runs from February 9th-11th and the WWE’s very own Brother Love (Bruce Prichard) will be attendance to spread even more love!  Did I also mention that Sid Haig is supposed to actually be officiating a wedding that Saturday at the convention as Captain Spaulding? Want more info?  Go over to the main website HERE for the full lineup and for details about ticket purchases!

Review: Insidious – The Last Key (2018)

I have a rule of thumb for any movie in a horror franchise that has the word ‘LAST’ in it’s title.  That rule would be that it should be the last entry into that particular franchise.  Done. Finished. Finito.  Such is very much the case with Insidious: The Last Key, a desperate attempt to keep the Insidious series going with yet another prequel and even worse…..without any true scares.  Let’s tiptoe into the review and get started.

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Anticipation Alert: Victor Crowley (2018)

The year was 2006.  I had just recently moved to Los Angeles.  Gas prices were relatively low.  And a young filmmaker named Adam Green was busy bringing ‘Old School American Horror‘ back!  Yes, that’s right – the 80’s homage/throwback Hatchet was born.  And thus, it’s villain Victor Crowley was as well (thanks in large part to Kane Hodder).  I remember watching Hatchet for the first time, almost blindly buying the DVD.  What I was treated to was indeed a love letter to the horror that I grew up on in the 80’s: Unapologetically nasty gore, inventive kills, boobs, and boobs.  Did I mention boobs?

Adam Green would go on to give us two more Hatchet sequels in the aftermath of the success of the original.  Now, I’m not ashamed to admit that they didn’t really hit my horror spot as much as the first time I saw Victor Crowley grace the screen with his horribly disfigured swampy face.  I liked the sequels, but the vibe felt off to me.  But now……..Victor Crowley is back in 2018 and he’s looking like his old self!  For better or worse, that is.  Yes – the aptly titled Victor Crowley is the fourth (and maybe final) sequel in the Hatchet series and if the first full trailer is any indication, it will go out on a high body count note!  Check it out below and get your preorder in for the Blu-ray/DVD over at Amazon HERE for a super good price.

Ebay Find Of The Week: ‘April Fools Day’ Promotional Clock!

God bless, eBay.  And by the way, do you know what time it is?  Well – you do now, because during my weekly scouring of the eBay horror listings I stumbled upon a super rare item.  This glorious promotional wall clock from the 1986 movie April Fool’s Day!

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Now, normally I don’t get too excited over wall clocks – but you have to admit that this is an exception.  I always dug April Fool’s Day and it’s approach to the slasher genre, so I wouldn’t be hesitant to snatch this guy up.  It is a bit pricey ($124.99), but it is rare and honestly you might never find another one again.  If you’re interested in looking at more pics and read more info on the listing, head on over HERE to check it out!

Dirty Horror’s Best & Worst Of 2017!

It seems just like yesterday that I was downing an entire bottle of champagne by myself in my apartment while the clock struck midnight on December 31st.  The point of that sentence is not to indicate that I live a lonely and pathetic existence, but to state the fact that another year has come and gone and it’s time to talk about the best and worst horror movies of 2017!  Fun fact:  There were a lot of good horror movies this past year.  So I’ll try to narrow those down to my Top 5.  You’re free to disagree if you’d like.  Let’s get to it!

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Review: Better Watch Out (2017)

What says Christmas more than a 12-year-old boy that has a crush on his 17-year-old babysitter?  Actually, that has absolutely nothing to do with Christmas – but in the new holiday horror movie Better Watch Out, it sure does!

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