Let’s All Watch The German Trailer For ‘Slugs’!

Hurry, everyone!  Grab a Pilsner, crank up the Rammstein, and put another sausage on the barbie!  Sorry, that joke was the wurst.  As was that one.  But yes, let’s get German!  Because I have quite possibly my favorite thing I’ve found in a while for you in this post.  And that is:  The German version of the trailer for the 1988 killer slug movie…..Slugs!  I did a post about the regular American version of the trailer like a sucker last year, but this one is far superior.  Just watch and listen, and try not giggle and have a fit when the voiceover guy says “Sluuuuugs!” (echo, echo, echo)

Frightening Funnies: The Son Of Svengoolie ‘Dr. Rābbees’ Commercial!

Please indulge me for a moment and take a trip down memory lane…….to a wondrous place called the Son Of Svengoolie show from the 80’s!  What???  You don’t know what the Son Of Svengoolie show was???  Well….if you didn’t live near Chicago and if you don’t peruse around Youtube a lot looking up old clips of 80’s horror movie shows, then you probably are clueless.  Let’s just say that the show was a HUGE part of my childhood and Sven is still on the air today on MeTV ( he’s now known as just Svengoolie though).

The point of this particular post is to spotlight a parody that was done on the Son Of Svengoolie show a loooooong time ago, which clearly was poking fun at David Naughton from An American Werewolf In London.  You see, before David was turning all fangy and hairy courtesy of make-up effects master Rick Baker in that classic 1981 movie…..he was peddling Dr. Pepper to the masses!

Amazing.  And I am curious how many of you out there wanted to be a Pepper too.  But anyway, Son Of Svengoolie periodically would do song parodies on his show and yes, he parodied the Dr. Pepper commercial.  Only instead of Dr. Pepper, it was called Dr. Rābbees!  Get it?  Because of the werewolf thing??  And werewolves might have rabies????  Anyway, here’s the clip and hopefully you enjoy it as much as I do for the ridiculousness that it is.  And make sure and watch Svengoolie on MeTV every Saturday!

Dirty Horror Memory Lane: That Werewolf Movie Called ‘Full Eclipse’ (1993)

Quick!  What’s the best werewolf movie to come out in 1993???  Sort of a trick question…..because there was kind of only one werewolf movie that came out in 1993.  And that werewolf movie is…….Full Eclipse!  See, they probably didn’t want to call it Full Moon because that’s kinda too obvious.  Plus, in this movie – a full eclipse renders the werewolves to be indestructible, even against silver!  But enough gabbing about eclipses and whatnot, let’s watch the original trailer.  Oh, and sidenote:  Mario Van Peebles is in this!

Yeah, as you can gather from the trailer – there’s a shit ton of guns, jumping, biting, clawing, and Mr. Van Peebles in Full Eclipse.  I still remember seeing the VHS in my local video store (I believe it was the unrated version).  Directed by Anthony Hickox (who also directed Waxwork and Hellraiser III: Hell On Earth), this movie is the epitome of a guilty pleasure.

And if you are having a hankering to see Full Eclipse on the big screen, I have pretty sweet news if you live in the Los Angeles area.  There will be a special screening on February 7th at The Hayworth Theater in downtown LA……and Anthony Hickox will be in attendance!  Someone get Mario on the phone too while we’re at it.

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Dirty Horror’s Best & Worst Of 2019!

Spoiler Alert:  My favorite movie of 2019 was technically NOT a horror film.  But, there were quite a few pleasant surprises on the horror front this year.  And, there were some stinkers as well.  Let’s get to those stinkers first, so you can disinfect before I get to the good stuff.  Continue reading

Let’s Have Another Staring Contest…….

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Oh no!  It’s Grandpa from Silent Night, Deadly Night!  This staring contest will be challenging because Grandpa just literally stares ahead most of the time anyway……unless of course he’s talking and scaring the shit out of his grandson, Billy.  Focus!  Stare into Grandpa’s beady little eyes.  Don’t let the smell of Bengay that’s permeating off of his body distract you.  Or the urine smell from his adult diapers.  I said focus, dammit!  Wait – what’s this???  Billy’s brother Ricky just ran behind you and yelled “Garbage Day!” and Grandpa looked away!  You win!  But Ricky loses because Grandpa is now beating him with his cane.

Ebay Find Of The Week: Promotional ‘Sleepwalkers’ Satin Jacket!

What’s the one thing that always turns a lame holiday gift, into an amazing holiday gift. No, not alcohol.  Satin!  Yes, satin – the underrated fabric.  Well, if you’re looking for something incredibly satiny for that special person this year that loves 1990’s horror movies……then I’ve got just the thing for you.  Behold!  A promotional Sleepwalkers satin jacket!

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Ah yes – who wouldn’t love a satin Sleepwalkers jacket?  A great movie, it is not – but a fun one at the end of the day.  I always love perusing around on eBay by the way, looking at all of the old promotional horror movie merchandise that’s up there.  Sometimes you can find some real gems.  Not sure if this satin goodness falls into that category, but it’s a fine jacket.  And it’s only $200!  Wait, wait – come back!  I’m sure the seller will negotiate on the price if you need them to.

You can check out the listing HERE, where you can also see a front view of the jacket on a creepy mannequin wearing a Giants baseball hat for some reason.  Happy Holidays!

Great Moments In Horror Hair History: Stripe From ‘Gremlins’ (1984)

Oh, don’t get your bright lights all up in a bunch.  I know Gremlins might not technically be a ‘horror’ movie, but it definitely had scenes that creeped me out out as a kid (kitchen scene, anyone?)  It is however, undoubtedly a Christmas movie.  Don’t believe me?  Just watch Phoebe Cates recount the heartwarming story about how her Dad once dressed up as Santa and got stuck in the chimney after breaking his neck, leaving a rotting dead corpse smell that would eventually give up the mystery as to where he disappeared to.  But anyway……let’s talk about hair!  More specifically – Stripe The Gremlin!

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Oh yes.  Look at that sweet chalky fluff on top of Stripe’s head.  Now, granted – there’s not much on the sides….but who needs side hair when you have that glorious achievement running straight down the middle!  Unfortunately, Stripe and his luscious locks would meet their demise in a gooey climax that scarred me as a child – but him and his hair will proudly live on.  So please join me in inducting Stripe into the class of Great Moments In Horror Hair History!  Here’s your award, Stripe.  Any words before we go?  “Award…..Caca!

Holy Shit Horror: ‘Senicide Scene’ From ‘Midsommar’ (2019)

**This Post Contains Spoilers**

Ah, Midsommar.  Not quite my favorite horror movie of 2019 – but a damn fine effort and it definitely contained one or two ‘holy shit‘ moments, and made me never want to visit Sweden in the foreseeable future (although I do enjoy meatballs).

Since the movie is still relatively fresh, I don’t want to spoil too much.  But the one scene that really made me say “Holy Shit!“, was when a geriatric man and woman leap off a cliff to go along with the commune customs regarding senicide (the abandonment to death, suicide, or killing of the elderly).

First, the woman goes and the outcome is….ummmmm….rough to watch.  But director Ari Aster doesn’t stop there!  Oh no siree, Bob!  Next, the gentleman takes center stage on top of the cliff and….yeah….also pretty rough to watch.  It takes a lot for me to wince at on-screen violence.  Midsommar combined two winces into one scene.  Bravo.  Watch below, but if you haven’t seen it – you’ve been warned!

Sonofa…….why did I watch that again????  Anyway, go watch Midsommar if you haven’t already.  Hail, Paemon!  Wait, that’s the wrong movie.

Asshole Kids Of Horror: Curtis From ‘Bloody Birthday’ (1981)

Thank God for YouTube, because someone was kind enough to string together some of Curtis’ greatest hits and quips from the 1981 slasher Bloody Birthday.  Oh wait – who’s Curtis, you ask?  Well, he’s one of the three bratty ass kids causing a ruckus because of a solar eclipse or something.

Bloody Birthday is ridiculous, but fun.  And Curtis’ snarky and sassy ways are a big part of that ridiculous fun.  He’s pretty terrible at shooting a gun btw.  Curtis (Billy Jayne) is one of those horror villains that deserves a nasty demise.  Unfortunately, the worst he gets is wrestled to the ground and tied up by one of Mike Seaver’s friends from the TV show Growing Pains (the one not named Boner).  But anyway, please enjoy the Curtis compilation below!

Sunday Bloody Sunday: ‘That Kid On The Bike’ From ‘The Toxic Avenger’ (1984)

“Hi.  My name is Tony, and I’m a Troma-holic.”

“Hi, Tony!!!!” (other Troma-holics)

For those unaware, I’ve been a fan of Lloyd Kaufman and his Troma universe since day one, and I’m a proud Tromite!  So today on Sunday Bloody Sunday, I’m taking it back to when Troma became a household name in 1984 with the b-movie to end all b-movies…..The Toxic Avenger.

Let’s skip the foreplay and just get on with the kid on the bike getting his head run over by a car courtesy of bully Bozo and his cronies.  And if you haven’t seen this movie…..for shame!  Yeah, I’m talking to YOU.