So I Revisited 1991’s ‘Body Parts’ Recently…….

Guy loses arm in a horrible car crash.  Guy gets new arm attached from a convicted serial killer who just recently died on death row.  Guy meets other guys who also have had said serial killer’s limbs attached to their bodies as well.  Guy stops evil doctors from re-collecting all of the serial killer’s body parts back (oh and there’s an attached severed head in there too somewhere).  Sorry.  26-year-old spoiler alerts.

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Ah yes.  The 1991 movie known as Body Parts.  One of actor Jeff Fahey’s finest moments.  And Brad Dourif is in it too.  Directed and co-written by Eric Red (Bad Moon, The Hitcher, Near Dark), Body Parts is a 90’s horror movie that actually feels soooo 80’s. I mean that as a compliment of course.  The storyline, for better or worse, is possibly one of the most ridiculous in terms of believability.  But then again, if you’re watching a 90’s horror movie named Body Parts – chances are you’re throwing logic immediately out the window.

I always remember seeing the poster for the movie hanging up in my local video store and appreciating the artistic side of it.  I hadn’t watched the actual movie though in quite some time.  Rewind back to the other night when I was surfing around through my channel guide and I saw Body Parts pop up on Cinemax (which on certain nights with a title like that, could be an entirely different kind of movie – bow chicka bow bow).  I was delighted to see that it still holds up!  Minus the obvious dummies used for Brad Dourif’s death scene of course.  Sorry.  Another 26-year-old spoiler alert.  But anyway, if you haven’t experienced the wonders of Eric Red’s Body Parts, then get off your ass and do it!  Or just sit on your couch and casually watch it on Cinemax or something.

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You Need To Know About ‘Death By Toys’!

Over the past few years, I’ve been a bit of a custom horror toy collector.  Some might call it an addiction, whereas I call it ‘mind your own business’.  So needless to say, I was pretty blown away when I first stumbled upon a company called Death By Toys – and more specifically a custom toy they did for the John Carpenter movie, The Fog.  What made it so special, you ask?  Because it was unapologetically just some cotton labeled as ‘Some Fog‘ on the front cover of the package.  Some might say it was lazy, but I say it was absolutely genius.  And from then on, I was a Death By Toys fan and started to build my collection.

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Now as you can see from the pic, there is a Happy Birthday To Me kebab playset and also a ‘bunch of pieces’ from the movie Pieces.  Again, a fairly simple (and I mean that in a good way) idea that is executed so well that it deserves all of the praise I’m giving it and more.  Still not convinced?  Go over to the Death By Toys online store HERE and look at some of the other creations and also look at the fact that they are all SOLD OUT.  Needless to say, I’m looking forward to any future releases from this company and if you’re a horror fan (or just custom toy fan in general) you should be too.  And now I have some spare cotton if I ever need it too.

Great Moments In Horror Hair History: ‘Reggie’ From ‘Phantasm’ (1979)

In the world of ‘horror movie hair’, sometimes it’s not about how much you have on top……but how you work the other areas to compensate for those lacking locks that should be on top.  Enter into this post…..REGGIE!  From the 1979 Don Coscarelli classic, Phantasm.  And if you have been living under a rock the last 38 years, here’s a peek at Reggie’s glorious hair in action:

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Aww yeah!  Get it, Reggie’s hair…..GET IT!  Now, Reggie’s receding hairline might not be as prominent in this pic as his ice cream vendor getup is……but you can definitely see how the hair that he does have is basically having sweet sex with the air blowing to and fro in this scene.  That outfit is pretty effective though, because now I want an ice cream sandwich.  But let’s get back to the main course:  HAIR.  Clearly, if you’ve seen Phantasm and it’s sequels then you know that Reggie’s (aka Reggie Bannister) lack of hair didn’t stop him from pulling the ladies.  And that alone has catapulted him into the class of Great Moments In Horror Hair History!  Now – please accept your award and then promptly make me a two-scoop in a waffle cone, please.

When Old Ladies And Beetles Attack: Prince Of Darkness (1987)

I just had the pleasure of seeing John Carpenter perform his music live last night (on Halloween nonetheless) for the second time in 2 years.  And just like the first time, when I walked away from the concert I thought about one of his movies.  And thinking about that movie made me think about an old lady with scissors in her hand.  And it also made me think about a bunch of black beetles, but my thoughts had nothing to do with a mannequin challenge.  What the hell am I babbling about?  Well, this clip from Prince Of Darkness of course!

Prince Of Darkness is probably my favorite ‘least favorite’ John Carpenter movie.  The plot and pacing is all over the place.  But it has Alice Cooper in it.  And it also has the clip above and many more like it that honestly rank up there with Carpenter’s creepiest throughout his career.  This clip with the old lady attacking that poor bastard with the scissors definitely has an Argento vibe to me (the close up on the scissors before they strike down), even though I feel there should have been more blood on the scissors – but I digress. Nitpicking is an art.

The point is, that I think every time I do watch Prince Of Darkness – I like it more.  It’s a grower, and not an immediate shower for me.  Oh – and go check out Mr. Carpenter on his current tour supporting is new Anthology album.  Where else are you going to hear the theme from Vampires live, after all?

Review: Red Christmas (2017)

You better watch out, you better not cry……you better not pout because there’s a really good Christmas horror movie that you need to watch this year!  I know, I know – it’s Halloween season.  But I had the pleasure of finally sitting down and watching Craig Anderson’s Red Christmas and it indeed got me into the Christmas horror movie spirit!

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Is This ‘Poltergeist Maggot Infested Chicken Leg’ The Best Birthday Cake Ever?

Birthdays can be depressing.  Birthdays can be super depressing.  But most of all, birthdays can be delicious!  Especially if you have a birthday cake inspired by the infamous ‘maggot infested chicken leg’ scene from Poltergeist:

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Yes.  That’s a cake.  Quite possibly the greatest birthday cake I’ve ever seen as well.  And as much as I despise maggots, I would eat them all without any hesitation.  Now who created this disgusting deliciousness?  Turns out it’s done by Debbie Does Cakes in Oakland, California.  Now, she doesn’t seem to specialize in horror-themed cakes necessarily……but as evident from that chicken leg up there, she can knock a horror-themed cake out the park.

By the way, my birthday is tomorrow for anyone looking for a last minute gift for me.  But anyway – if you’re in the market for cake with or without maggots, then go to Debbie’s website HERE for more info.  Now pardon me while drool over that pic some more……and then go into the bathroom and rip my face off.

Don’t Forget About ‘Hauntedween’ This Halloween!

I always love entertaining horror movie titles.  So you can imagine my excitement with a title like Hauntedween.  Yes, Hauntedween……a lovely little independent slasher from 1991 that reminds me so much of my old video store that I used to frequent as a teen.  Why you ask?  Because I can still remember seeing the VHS cover for the movie.

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(photo credit: vhscollector)

You have to admit, it’s a pretty sweet cover.  And the mask is actually pretty fucking creepy.  Now granted, this movie falls into the ‘so bad it’s good’ category – but in a very unapologetic way.  And I can respect that when it comes to 80’s/90’s horror slashers.  Considering I remember Hauntedween specifically in VHS form, it should be noted that if you have an original VHS copy then it is definitely worth some cash.  In a season where everyone is watching Michael Myers and little Sam and his lollipop, seek out Hauntedween even if it’s just on Youtube.  To wet your appetite for Hauntedween (can you tell that I really love to say Hauntedween), here’s a clip below of the killer who is clearly distraught over his mother dying.  Or maybe he’s just bummed he dropped his wood.

Dirty Horror’s Rapid Reviews: ‘Leatherface’, ‘Cult Of Chucky’, ‘Gerald’s Game’

Ugh.  I’ve been neglecting my blog.  I’m sorry, baby……I promise I’ll take better care of you and shower you with my witty sarcasm and pointless posts about 80’s horror movies.  But first, how about some reviews!  Considering I have actually been watching some of the current crop of horror movies, I figured I’d share my brief thoughts on some.  Emphasis on ‘brief’.  Let’s go!

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Ebay Find Of The Week: Lot Of Vintage ‘Ben Cooper’ Halloween Masks!

As we officially roll into October (also known as Halloween month), I am reminded of my healthy obsession with old Ben Cooper Halloween masks from the days of past.  I myself, had a few Ben Cooper costumes when I was a young lad – so naturally now that I’m in my 40’s, I do enjoy reminiscing on eBay as I try to find some good deals to increase my collection.  Case in point:

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They’re glorious!  So, so glorious!  Don’t you just love how the colors pop on these?  You can try and duplicate the style, but there’s nothing better than having an original Ben Cooper mask.  Or how about 6 of them?  The eBay listing that you can find HERE was recently put up and already has some bids (of course).  To make these even more tantalizing is the fact that they are in GREAT condition and come with the elastic bands still attached!  Very rare.  Expect the price to steadily move up on these, but to me the price will be worth it.