Review: Better Watch Out (2017)

What says Christmas more than a 12-year-old boy that has a crush on his 17-year-old babysitter?  Actually, that has absolutely nothing to do with Christmas – but in the new holiday horror movie Better Watch Out, it sure does!

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There Will Be Blood…..In The New ‘Dig You A Hole’ Video From Supergroup TERROR UNIVERSAL!

I’m very fond of any musical group that incorporates horror either into their music, music videos, or stage shows.  So, it comes as no surprise that I’m completely onboard with the new metal supergroup TERROR UNIVERSAL.  Why a supergroup, you ask?  Well because they are comprised of members from well known metal outfits like Ill Niño, Soulfly, Machine Head, and Upon A Burning Body.  And did I mention the horror?  Oh, the horror! The horror that’s in their new video for the song ‘Dig You A Hole’ is outstanding.  Let’s watch:

Blood, blood, and more blood….some creepy ass masks….pummeling guitar riffs….and some more blood.  All of that adds up to an impressive start for TERROR UNIVERSAL, who’s new album Make Them Bleed is being unleashed on January 19th.  Want to preorder it?  Then head on over HERE and check out all of the different goodies you can also order in the process of getting the album.  And of course there’s some ‘blood splattered’ vinyl for you to grab too!

And The Oscar Should Have Gone To……

Who doesn’t love a good possession movie?  Oh sure – The Exorcist will probably forever remain at the top of the list of the genre (and with good reason), but lest we not forget about a little movie appropriately called Possession that came out in 1981. Directed and co-written by Andrzej Żuławski, this hidden gem boasts one of the most intense acting scenes that you may have never seen.  Now watch below as Isabelle Adjani really goes for the gusto and smashes some eggs in the process:

RIP to those eggs.  And RIP to anyone else who attempted to top this performance afterwards!  Good Lord.  How the fuck did Isabelle Adjani not get an Oscar nod for this? She did take home an award from the Cannes Film Festival that year, so all was not lost. Aside from her thrashing, mashing, and screaming – the camerawork is top notch, as is the choice to not use any music during the scene.  I guess I should have cautioned you that the end gets a bit messy and you might not want to eat afterwards.  But anyway, kudos to you Isabelle Adjani and kudos to your thrashing that should have sparked a new dance craze.

That One Time Gunnar Hansen Fought Giant Mosquitos With A Chainsaw!

I was thinking the other day about SyFy Channel movies.  Not sure why necessarily, but they were on my mind.  And all of this reminiscing made me think back to one of the first movies I saw on the channel, although not specifically made for it (like Sharknado per say).  And that movie was:  Mosquito!!!

Mosquito is not only up there with some of the best movies the Syfy Channel has ever put on (Ice Spiders, anyone?), but it also has the late great Gunnar Hansen fighting off these giant blood-thirsty mosquitos with…….wait for it…….a chainsaw!!  Oh – I guess the surprise was minimized since I already gave it away in the title of the post.  But anyway – if you’re not a believer of Mosquito yet and want to judge for yourself whether or not it sucks (haha), then watch the clip below and enjoy all of the glorious B-movie action. Hahaha – I said ‘sucks’.

Things That I’m Thankful For This Year!

I figured that I should probably write something before my entire body is feeling the effects of the tryptophan.  So yes, it’s time for another Thanksgiving and another year of giving my readers a few things that I’m thankful for in 2017.  So put down your third piece of pumpkin pie and let me grab your attention for a minute.

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So I Revisited 1991’s ‘Body Parts’ Recently…….

Guy loses arm in a horrible car crash.  Guy gets new arm attached from a convicted serial killer who just recently died on death row.  Guy meets other guys who also have had said serial killer’s limbs attached to their bodies as well.  Guy stops evil doctors from re-collecting all of the serial killer’s body parts back (oh and there’s an attached severed head in there too somewhere).  Sorry.  26-year-old spoiler alerts.

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Ah yes.  The 1991 movie known as Body Parts.  One of actor Jeff Fahey’s finest moments.  And Brad Dourif is in it too.  Directed and co-written by Eric Red (Bad Moon, The Hitcher, Near Dark), Body Parts is a 90’s horror movie that actually feels soooo 80’s. I mean that as a compliment of course.  The storyline, for better or worse, is possibly one of the most ridiculous in terms of believability.  But then again, if you’re watching a 90’s horror movie named Body Parts – chances are you’re throwing logic immediately out the window.

I always remember seeing the poster for the movie hanging up in my local video store and appreciating the artistic side of it.  I hadn’t watched the actual movie though in quite some time.  Rewind back to the other night when I was surfing around through my channel guide and I saw Body Parts pop up on Cinemax (which on certain nights with a title like that, could be an entirely different kind of movie – bow chicka bow bow).  I was delighted to see that it still holds up!  Minus the obvious dummies used for Brad Dourif’s death scene of course.  Sorry.  Another 26-year-old spoiler alert.  But anyway, if you haven’t experienced the wonders of Eric Red’s Body Parts, then get off your ass and do it!  Or just sit on your couch and casually watch it on Cinemax or something.

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You Need To Know About ‘Death By Toys’!

Over the past few years, I’ve been a bit of a custom horror toy collector.  Some might call it an addiction, whereas I call it ‘mind your own business’.  So needless to say, I was pretty blown away when I first stumbled upon a company called Death By Toys – and more specifically a custom toy they did for the John Carpenter movie, The Fog.  What made it so special, you ask?  Because it was unapologetically just some cotton labeled as ‘Some Fog‘ on the front cover of the package.  Some might say it was lazy, but I say it was absolutely genius.  And from then on, I was a Death By Toys fan and started to build my collection.

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Now as you can see from the pic, there is a Happy Birthday To Me kebab playset and also a ‘bunch of pieces’ from the movie Pieces.  Again, a fairly simple (and I mean that in a good way) idea that is executed so well that it deserves all of the praise I’m giving it and more.  Still not convinced?  Go over to the Death By Toys online store HERE and look at some of the other creations and also look at the fact that they are all SOLD OUT.  Needless to say, I’m looking forward to any future releases from this company and if you’re a horror fan (or just custom toy fan in general) you should be too.  And now I have some spare cotton if I ever need it too.

Great Moments In Horror Hair History: ‘Reggie’ From ‘Phantasm’ (1979)

In the world of ‘horror movie hair’, sometimes it’s not about how much you have on top……but how you work the other areas to compensate for those lacking locks that should be on top.  Enter into this post…..REGGIE!  From the 1979 Don Coscarelli classic, Phantasm.  And if you have been living under a rock the last 38 years, here’s a peek at Reggie’s glorious hair in action:

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Aww yeah!  Get it, Reggie’s hair…..GET IT!  Now, Reggie’s receding hairline might not be as prominent in this pic as his ice cream vendor getup is……but you can definitely see how the hair that he does have is basically having sweet sex with the air blowing to and fro in this scene.  That outfit is pretty effective though, because now I want an ice cream sandwich.  But let’s get back to the main course:  HAIR.  Clearly, if you’ve seen Phantasm and it’s sequels then you know that Reggie’s (aka Reggie Bannister) lack of hair didn’t stop him from pulling the ladies.  And that alone has catapulted him into the class of Great Moments In Horror Hair History!  Now – please accept your award and then promptly make me a two-scoop in a waffle cone, please.

When Old Ladies And Beetles Attack: Prince Of Darkness (1987)

I just had the pleasure of seeing John Carpenter perform his music live last night (on Halloween nonetheless) for the second time in 2 years.  And just like the first time, when I walked away from the concert I thought about one of his movies.  And thinking about that movie made me think about an old lady with scissors in her hand.  And it also made me think about a bunch of black beetles, but my thoughts had nothing to do with a mannequin challenge.  What the hell am I babbling about?  Well, this clip from Prince Of Darkness of course!

Prince Of Darkness is probably my favorite ‘least favorite’ John Carpenter movie.  The plot and pacing is all over the place.  But it has Alice Cooper in it.  And it also has the clip above and many more like it that honestly rank up there with Carpenter’s creepiest throughout his career.  This clip with the old lady attacking that poor bastard with the scissors definitely has an Argento vibe to me (the close up on the scissors before they strike down), even though I feel there should have been more blood on the scissors – but I digress. Nitpicking is an art.

The point is, that I think every time I do watch Prince Of Darkness – I like it more.  It’s a grower, and not an immediate shower for me.  Oh – and go check out Mr. Carpenter on his current tour supporting is new Anthology album.  Where else are you going to hear the theme from Vampires live, after all?