Review: Red Christmas (2017)

You better watch out, you better not cry……you better not pout because there’s a really good Christmas horror movie that you need to watch this year!  I know, I know – it’s Halloween season.  But I had the pleasure of finally sitting down and watching Craig Anderson’s Red Christmas and it indeed got me into the Christmas horror movie spirit!

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Is This ‘Poltergeist Maggot Infested Chicken Leg’ The Best Birthday Cake Ever?

Birthdays can be depressing.  Birthdays can be super depressing.  But most of all, birthdays can be delicious!  Especially if you have a birthday cake inspired by the infamous ‘maggot infested chicken leg’ scene from Poltergeist:

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Yes.  That’s a cake.  Quite possibly the greatest birthday cake I’ve ever seen as well.  And as much as I despise maggots, I would eat them all without any hesitation.  Now who created this disgusting deliciousness?  Turns out it’s done by Debbie Does Cakes in Oakland, California.  Now, she doesn’t seem to specialize in horror-themed cakes necessarily……but as evident from that chicken leg up there, she can knock a horror-themed cake out the park.

By the way, my birthday is tomorrow for anyone looking for a last minute gift for me.  But anyway – if you’re in the market for cake with or without maggots, then go to Debbie’s website HERE for more info.  Now pardon me while drool over that pic some more……and then go into the bathroom and rip my face off.

Don’t Forget About ‘Hauntedween’ This Halloween!

I always love entertaining horror movie titles.  So you can imagine my excitement with a title like Hauntedween.  Yes, Hauntedween……a lovely little independent slasher from 1991 that reminds me so much of my old video store that I used to frequent as a teen.  Why you ask?  Because I can still remember seeing the VHS cover for the movie.

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(photo credit: vhscollector)

You have to admit, it’s a pretty sweet cover.  And the mask is actually pretty fucking creepy.  Now granted, this movie falls into the ‘so bad it’s good’ category – but in a very unapologetic way.  And I can respect that when it comes to 80’s/90’s horror slashers.  Considering I remember Hauntedween specifically in VHS form, it should be noted that if you have an original VHS copy then it is definitely worth some cash.  In a season where everyone is watching Michael Myers and little Sam and his lollipop, seek out Hauntedween even if it’s just on Youtube.  To wet your appetite for Hauntedween (can you tell that I really love to say Hauntedween), here’s a clip below of the killer who is clearly distraught over his mother dying.  Or maybe he’s just bummed he dropped his wood.

Dirty Horror’s Rapid Reviews: ‘Leatherface’, ‘Cult Of Chucky’, ‘Gerald’s Game’

Ugh.  I’ve been neglecting my blog.  I’m sorry, baby……I promise I’ll take better care of you and shower you with my witty sarcasm and pointless posts about 80’s horror movies.  But first, how about some reviews!  Considering I have actually been watching some of the current crop of horror movies, I figured I’d share my brief thoughts on some.  Emphasis on ‘brief’.  Let’s go!

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Ebay Find Of The Week: Lot Of Vintage ‘Ben Cooper’ Halloween Masks!

As we officially roll into October (also known as Halloween month), I am reminded of my healthy obsession with old Ben Cooper Halloween masks from the days of past.  I myself, had a few Ben Cooper costumes when I was a young lad – so naturally now that I’m in my 40’s, I do enjoy reminiscing on eBay as I try to find some good deals to increase my collection.  Case in point:

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They’re glorious!  So, so glorious!  Don’t you just love how the colors pop on these?  You can try and duplicate the style, but there’s nothing better than having an original Ben Cooper mask.  Or how about 6 of them?  The eBay listing that you can find HERE was recently put up and already has some bids (of course).  To make these even more tantalizing is the fact that they are in GREAT condition and come with the elastic bands still attached!  Very rare.  Expect the price to steadily move up on these, but to me the price will be worth it.

Review: The Queen Mary: Dark Harbor (Long Beach, CA)

‘Tis the season for Halloween haunted houses and spooky attractions!  Last weekend, I did my usual trek to Universal Studios Hollywood for Halloween Horror Nights.  After that, I was already itching to do more.  So next up, The Queen Mary: Dark Harbor in Long Beach, CA!

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Let’s Toast……To That ‘Alcohol Death’ Scene From ‘Sorority Row’ (2009)

I recently revisited the 80’s slasher movie The House On Sorority Row and realized that this movie has been criminally underrated on my 80’s slasher scale.  And it got me to thinking……about those hot girls in the 2009 loose remake called Sorority Row.  So many hot girls.  Sorry, I’m getting sidetracked due to my one-track mind……but it also got me to thinking about that death scene where the girl gets the bottle of alcohol shoved down her throat.

Cheers, to that death scene!  The movie itself was fairly run-of-the-mill as far as slashers go, but it did have some hot girls in it.  Did I mention the hot girls btw?  Because there are definitely hot girls in there.  Oh!  And that bottle death scene that you watched above.  To me, it’s a top notch kill with some great practical effects and a nasty little throat slit to boot. So because it’s a slow news day (other than all of that ‘Trump Vs. The NFL’ crap going on), I felt the need to spotlight this scene from Sorority Row and also overemphasize the hotness of the girls in the movie.  I’m proud of myself for refraining from an oral sex joke about that bottle going down her throat btw.

Give Me The Creeps: ‘Hanging Around’ From ‘Sinister’ (2012)

There’s nothing like an effective creepy beginning scene to a horror movie.  Especially a scene that makes you feel uneasy, like if you’re watching a snuff film that you shouldn’t be. Fun Fact:  I loved the 2012 movie Sinister.  The sequel that came out in 2015, not so much.  But the original kinda blew me away, and in the horror world it actually attempted to do something a little different.  That’s a rare feat nowadays, and one of the things that I loved about Sinister was the opening scene.  No set up.  No warning.

I still remember watching this scene in the theater.  I squirmed in my seat a little and may have squeezed the hand of the person next to me (who may have been a stranger). Luckily for Sinister, the rest of the movie followed suit with the creepiness (lawn mower scene, anyone?) and we even got a satisfying equally creepy ending too.  Too bad Sinister 2 sucked ass, but at least we have the original to fall back on if we ever need to see how it’s done right.  I’ll be attending Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights in Hollywood this weekend and they will have a partial maze built around the Sinister universe.  If they’re smart, they’ll somehow incorporate this ‘hanging family’ scene into it. Now – fuck you, Sinister for giving me the creeps!

Duh Nuh Nuh Nuh Nuh…….Christine Is Back! In A Short Music Video That Is.

FYI – that was my attempt in the title for this post at the song ‘Bad To The Bone’.  But yes, John Carpenter himself has resurrected the killer car Christine for a pretty sweet music video that’s promoting his new Anthology: Movie Themes 1974-1998 project being released on October 20th.  Carpenter directed a new music video that showcases not only the sexy vehicle named Christine, but also a re-working of the title theme from the movie. Oh and there’s a pretty hot girl (Rita Volk) in the video as well.  And a surprise at the end too!

I for one, have always thought that Christine was one of the better Stephen King book adaptations.  Great characters.  Great soundtrack.  Great score.  And great directing from the legend himself.  And how about Buddy Repperton’s hair???  Carpenter will be taking his band on the road soon to promote the new album, and I for one get to see him on Halloween night in Hollywood.  That’s right, HALLOWEEN NIGHT!  Check out the Christine-inspired video below and go grab tickets for the tour if it’s hitting your town!