I Seem To Have ‘The Brain’ On My Brain…..

Quick.  What’s the best horror movie about a gigantic man-eating brain?!?  Ahhh – if you didn’t say 1988’s Canadian horror yuck-fest The Brain, then you can see yourself out the door.  I hadn’t thought about this movie in ages.  I remember watching the VHS copy when I was like 12.  And although the premise is about as stupid as you would think for an 80’s horror movie (TV show host brainwashes his viewers and plans to rule the world), I dug the hell out of The Brain!

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Cut to why I’m writing about it now, and that would be because one of the best resin toy makers in the game, Deadly Delivery (a collab effort of Retroband and Zectron), recently released a mini version of our favorite man-eating brain!  You can catch a glimpse HERE, but unfortunately it is now sold out.  But it really got me to thinking about this movie.  And it really got me to thinking about how it needs a proper Blu-ray release too.  It never even received a proper DVD release either (sad frowny face).

So let’s all put our brains together and think about how we can make this happen.  More people need to see The Brain!  It’s common knowledge.  Oh, I know what we can do!  We can take it to the streets like they did in the 60’s.  I’m sure no one would be annoyed if I was preaching the greatness of The Brain through a megaphone while shoving clips from the movie in people’s faces as they walk out of Target after shopping.  But until we win the battle of getting this underrated 80’s horror gem it’s Blu-ray due, why don’t you just search on Youtube to watch the movie in full.  I’ll allow it.

Horror Movie Posters I Love: Mortuary (1983)

Show me a good 80’s horror movie poster and I will pretty much be putty in your hands. And speaking of hands, one of my favorite posters from the 80’s horror genre involves a hand!  Yes, the 1983 movie called Mortuary has one of the more striking posters to involve a hand raising up out of a dirt grave.  Check it out below:

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Yeah!  How about that hand?!  Not only is that artwork boner worthy, but the taglines are classic too.  Even the font on the title of Mortuary is making me drool.  And you all know how I love to drool.  This movie is best known for one of the first on-screen performances of the late great Bill Paxton.  And honestly, that’s the only real reason you should seek it out.  But, we’re talking posters here – and the Mortuary poster is top notch Grade A goodness.

I often sit and daydream about if today’s horror movies had posters that looked this good. I really have no life, so I have the time.  Some do go the retro route, but nothing will beat anything from the original decade where a crappy movie could have such a kick-ass poster.  So, kudos to you Mortuary, and all of your snazzy poster artwork and clever taglines.  Oh, and RIP to Bill Paxton.

Give Me The Creeps: This New Trailer For ‘Hereditary’

It’s far and between that I watch a horror movie trailer, and then re-watch about five more times quickly after.  Such is the case for the new trailer for the film written and directed by Ari Aster called Hereditary.  Just the tease alone, that you’ll see below, made me want to go take a shower.

Not even sure where to begin with this one.  But first, yes – the buzz is already very strong on Hereditary thanks to it’s screening at Sundance last month.  Being toted as ‘This generation’s Exorcist‘, those are obviously very strong words.  Judging from the trailer though, that might not be crazy talk.

The visuals incorporating the dollhouse into real life are stunning, as is the last half where we see horrible things.  Horrible, horrible things.  A kid bashing his head against a desk, creepy crawlies crawling all over someone, a person engulfed in flames, and some serious chopping with a kitchen knife.  All of this is accompanied by some unnerving music that sets the tone for what this movie experience is going to be like.  Hereditary opens on June 8th.  Make sure you bring an extra pair of underwear to the screening though.  I’m thinking you might need it.

Let’s Listen To A Giddy Gene Siskel Talk About ‘Carnosaur’ (1993)

I’ve written about their show before, but one of my favorite memories of growing up was watching Siskel & Ebert every week to see if they were going to review any horror movies.  And nothing is more of trip than when they reviewed Roger Corman’s Carnosaur back in 1993.  I can’t do the clip any justice, but I will say that one of the highlights is Roger Ebert emphasizing that he thinks Stephen Spielberg will do a better job with the look of his dinosaurs in his upcoming movie (which of course was Jurassic Park).  And also Gene Siskel gleefully discussing and pleading his case for how good the plot was for the movie.  Just do yourself a favor and watch below, please 🙂

Anticipation Alert: Victor Crowley (2018)

The year was 2006.  I had just recently moved to Los Angeles.  Gas prices were relatively low.  And a young filmmaker named Adam Green was busy bringing ‘Old School American Horror‘ back!  Yes, that’s right – the 80’s homage/throwback Hatchet was born.  And thus, it’s villain Victor Crowley was as well (thanks in large part to Kane Hodder).  I remember watching Hatchet for the first time, almost blindly buying the DVD.  What I was treated to was indeed a love letter to the horror that I grew up on in the 80’s: Unapologetically nasty gore, inventive kills, boobs, and boobs.  Did I mention boobs?

Adam Green would go on to give us two more Hatchet sequels in the aftermath of the success of the original.  Now, I’m not ashamed to admit that they didn’t really hit my horror spot as much as the first time I saw Victor Crowley grace the screen with his horribly disfigured swampy face.  I liked the sequels, but the vibe felt off to me.  But now……..Victor Crowley is back in 2018 and he’s looking like his old self!  For better or worse, that is.  Yes – the aptly titled Victor Crowley is the fourth (and maybe final) sequel in the Hatchet series and if the first full trailer is any indication, it will go out on a high body count note!  Check it out below and get your preorder in for the Blu-ray/DVD over at Amazon HERE for a super good price.

Ebay Find Of The Week: ‘April Fools Day’ Promotional Clock!

God bless, eBay.  And by the way, do you know what time it is?  Well – you do now, because during my weekly scouring of the eBay horror listings I stumbled upon a super rare item.  This glorious promotional wall clock from the 1986 movie April Fool’s Day!

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Now, normally I don’t get too excited over wall clocks – but you have to admit that this is an exception.  I always dug April Fool’s Day and it’s approach to the slasher genre, so I wouldn’t be hesitant to snatch this guy up.  It is a bit pricey ($124.99), but it is rare and honestly you might never find another one again.  If you’re interested in looking at more pics and read more info on the listing, head on over HERE to check it out!

Dirty Horror’s Best & Worst Of 2017!

It seems just like yesterday that I was downing an entire bottle of champagne by myself in my apartment while the clock struck midnight on December 31st.  The point of that sentence is not to indicate that I live a lonely and pathetic existence, but to state the fact that another year has come and gone and it’s time to talk about the best and worst horror movies of 2017!  Fun fact:  There were a lot of good horror movies this past year.  So I’ll try to narrow those down to my Top 5.  You’re free to disagree if you’d like.  Let’s get to it!

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There Will Be Blood…..In The New ‘Dig You A Hole’ Video From Supergroup TERROR UNIVERSAL!

I’m very fond of any musical group that incorporates horror either into their music, music videos, or stage shows.  So, it comes as no surprise that I’m completely onboard with the new metal supergroup TERROR UNIVERSAL.  Why a supergroup, you ask?  Well because they are comprised of members from well known metal outfits like Ill Niño, Soulfly, Machine Head, and Upon A Burning Body.  And did I mention the horror?  Oh, the horror! The horror that’s in their new video for the song ‘Dig You A Hole’ is outstanding.  Let’s watch:

Blood, blood, and more blood….some creepy ass masks….pummeling guitar riffs….and some more blood.  All of that adds up to an impressive start for TERROR UNIVERSAL, who’s new album Make Them Bleed is being unleashed on January 19th.  Want to preorder it?  Then head on over HERE and check out all of the different goodies you can also order in the process of getting the album.  And of course there’s some ‘blood splattered’ vinyl for you to grab too!

And The Oscar Should Have Gone To……

Who doesn’t love a good possession movie?  Oh sure – The Exorcist will probably forever remain at the top of the list of the genre (and with good reason), but lest we not forget about a little movie appropriately called Possession that came out in 1981. Directed and co-written by Andrzej Żuławski, this hidden gem boasts one of the most intense acting scenes that you may have never seen.  Now watch below as Isabelle Adjani really goes for the gusto and smashes some eggs in the process:

RIP to those eggs.  And RIP to anyone else who attempted to top this performance afterwards!  Good Lord.  How the fuck did Isabelle Adjani not get an Oscar nod for this? She did take home an award from the Cannes Film Festival that year, so all was not lost. Aside from her thrashing, mashing, and screaming – the camerawork is top notch, as is the choice to not use any music during the scene.  I guess I should have cautioned you that the end gets a bit messy and you might not want to eat afterwards.  But anyway, kudos to you Isabelle Adjani and kudos to your thrashing that should have sparked a new dance craze.

That One Time Gunnar Hansen Fought Giant Mosquitos With A Chainsaw!

I was thinking the other day about SyFy Channel movies.  Not sure why necessarily, but they were on my mind.  And all of this reminiscing made me think back to one of the first movies I saw on the channel, although not specifically made for it (like Sharknado per say).  And that movie was:  Mosquito!!!

Mosquito is not only up there with some of the best movies the Syfy Channel has ever put on (Ice Spiders, anyone?), but it also has the late great Gunnar Hansen fighting off these giant blood-thirsty mosquitos with…….wait for it…….a chainsaw!!  Oh – I guess the surprise was minimized since I already gave it away in the title of the post.  But anyway – if you’re not a believer of Mosquito yet and want to judge for yourself whether or not it sucks (haha), then watch the clip below and enjoy all of the glorious B-movie action. Hahaha – I said ‘sucks’.