Robert Englund. Bruce Campbell. Oh, do I have your attention now? Because if you choose to go to the always great….never duplicated….best convention around called Monsterpalooza this coming June 2nd through the 4th in Pasadena – you will have the chance to meet both of these horror icons! That’s right, Monsterpalooza is back and better than ever. It’s my favorite horror convention to frequent, and this year they have Freddy….Ash….and one of my favorites, Doug Jones….Kane Hodder….and more to still be announced!
Now, as of me writing this – there are VERY limited spots available for professional photo-ops with Robert and Bruce, but there are still plenty of other celebs you can snap a pic with AND get your favorite horror merch signed to boot. In addition to that – there will be cosplayers, tons of spooky vendors, makeup demonstrations and showcases, and panel Q&As with all of the already mentioned horror talent!
Just buy a 3-day pass and thank me later. And speaking of, you can go HERE to purchase your tickets. Be warned – they will sell out, so snatch em’ up now. Monsterpalooza is going to be the place to be in June, and you don’t want to regret it when you see all of your friends posting their super fun pics on social media. So hit the link above and get to it. I will scare you there!
Is there any greater joy in life than listening to people pronounce things incorrectly? I still remember the Three’s Company episode where Mr. Furley mispronounces everything in the French restaurant when he’s there with Janet. The point of me talking about an old relic sitcom from the 70’s, is that I liked Mr. Furley better than Mr. Roper……and also to accentuate the point of me often mispronouncing the new ‘little horror movie that could‘, Skinamarink.
For those unaware, Skinamarink was made for a mere $15,000 by writer/director Kyle Edward Ball. It’s already grossed almost $2 million at the box office in limited release AND it’s getting released courtesy of Shudder this weekend on February 2nd! All joking aside about the name, I will say that the trailer tickled my horror spot and was brilliantly done. I mean, don’t you wanna know what happened in ‘this house‘??!?!
Now back to my inability to say the name of the movie right. Oh, my girlfriend and I have had quite the laughing fest when I try and say it and “Skinkakatmandoo” comes out. Or even “Skinkaminkapalooza“. And one of these days I might say it right. It’s easy to type out though. Skinamarink! The funny thing is that if you type the name into Google, you can see other people unintentionally misspelling it as well. Circling back to the real news of this post, Skinamarink premieres on Shudder this week on February 2nd! So check it out with me, and then let’s all get messed up and keep trying to say the name 10 times in a row really fast.
So long, 2022 – you dirty rotten egg! Oh, but wait! 2022 wasn’t all bad. Yeah, we still had the Covid around – and Trump still exists – and Bob Saget died…….but in my opinion, it was a great year for horror movies! Here’s my Top 3, followed by my ‘honorable mentions’:
I know most of you might think that the original Black Christmas is the best Christmas-themed horror movie ever, but I’m here to tell you that you’re right. Now aside from my agreement on that topic, another Christmas-themed horror movie that you need to see is Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker! I know you probably need convincing, so watch this clip below and I’ll tell you 5 things that I personally learned from this monumental scene in horror movie history:
Ok, here we go:
Always make sure to say something funny like “It’s to die for.” right before you knowingly send someone to their inevitable death.
He should have crashed at least 10 times considering his eyes rarely made contact with the road at any point in this clip.
Larry The Larvae is quite persistent.
Larry The Larvae must also be a vampire since no blood really appears when he pops the guy’s eyeball out.
It’s unfortunate that Mickey Rooney isn’t in this scene.
Well, that was fun I guess. Go watch this gem of a Christmas horror movie on Shudder now!
Surprisingly, I have not seen every Halloween-themed horror movie. And one of those that I hadn’t seen was 1982’s Trick or Treats! Not to be confused with Trick or Treat…or Trick ‘r Treat, I had remembered seeing the VHS version of Trick or Treats when I was kid – but I never rented it. Over the years, I became more and more curious because I had nothing better to do with my life. And the other night, it finally happened after 45 years! I had sex. Oh, and also I finally watched Trick or Treats!
And, I started a new paragraph to leave you in more suspense as to what my thoughts on the movie are. Well, I’ll get to the point I suppose: It was shit. Not even good shit, if you know what I mean. Like, I didn’t even finish the movie. That might be a first as far as Halloween-themed horror movies. Some lowlights: There was a kid playing pranks and a crazy guy escaping an asylum, David Carradine was in it for some reason, and also some person with the last name ‘Snodgrass’ which made me laugh. But anyway, I’ll save you the time and show you the best thing below about the movie…..the poster. So steer clear of Trick or Treats if you haven’t seen it, and go watch the other two movies with ‘Trick’ and ‘Treat’ in the titles instead!
As a lover of anything creepy and/or unusual, I am very excited that The Oddities Flea Market is coming back to downtown Los Angeles on October 8th & 9th! If you’ve never been, then now is the time to prepare your eyes and your wallet!! It’s one of my personal favorite events to peruse, and what better time to do it than in October?? Halloween would encourage you to check this event out.
Prepare to be dazzled by wonders unimagined! Shop three curated floors of medical history ephemera, anatomical curiosities, natural history items, osteological specimens, taxidermy, home decor, jewelry, one-of-a-kind art, and much more.
Does that have your attention yet? Trust me when I say that the plethora of creepy/unusual vendors that will be on display will leave you in awe. AND they will make you want to spend your hard-earned money too! So don’t delay and grab your tickets HERE, and I will see you there! My wallet will be empty by the end of the weekend, but I will still see you there and will have no regrets.
Egads! It’s Paul from the stellar 1988 remake of The Blob! He’s looking right into the soul of your eyes, so try not to be too intimidated…..but that layer of The Blob over his peepers probably helps your chances! Oh great, sexy 1988 version of Shawnee Smith (and also Paul’s girlfriend in the movie) just walked by trying to distract you. Nice try, Shawnee! It’s gonna take a lot more than that……oh dear God – it’s Kevin Dillon’s mullet from the movie and it just distracted you! Curses! Paul wins. But also dies because The Blob just ate him.
Tom Atkins. That’s all you really need to know. But I guess I’ll expand more on why I’m mentioning the legend’s name. It’s because Son Of Monsterpalooza is returning to Burbank, California on October 14th-16th! It’s in October, so it’s pretty much a no-brainer that you need to attend. Need more convincing? Tom Atkins. Ok, I’ll convince you even more though……
How about a Weird Science reunion with Anthony Michael Hall, Ilan Mitchell-Smith, and Robert Rusler?? Still want more? Ok…..then how about a Nightmare On Elm Street 3 reunion with a plethora of the original Dream Warriors in attendance?? Now I see you nodding your head. But wait…..Tom Atkins! Third time mentioning him and it doesn’t get old, but not only will the man and his mustache be there….but so will his Halloween III co-star Stacy Nelkin AND director Tommy Lee Wallace!
In addition to those mentioned guests and many more to be announced, Son Of Monsterpalooza will sport, as usual, some of the best horror-themed vendors around and some of the best full-on displays of makeup effects too! This is always one of my favorite conventions, so go HERE to see more info and grab your tickets. That weekend could sell out, so don’t say I didn’t warn you! Tom Atkins!!
I won’t lie – I’ve been pleasantly surprised with the horror offerings in 2022 so far. And I’m going out on a limb here when I say that I am pretty sure I will be pleasantly surprised with the new movie Barbarian coming out on August 31st. The trailer snuck up on me when I saw it before The Black Phone (another nice surprise), and it did what a trailer should do: Don’t give too much away, make you interested in exactly what the hell is going on, and serve it up with a side of creepy imagery….loud noises….and an anxiety-inducing score.
Speaking of trailers real quick…..(begin rant) I’m sure everyone has seen the TEASER trailer for Halloween Ends. It’s gotten high praise for not giving too much away. But…..we all remember how much the official Halloween Kills trailer gave away, right? Now, either the brainiacs over at Blumhouse finally figured out how to cut a trailer to actually keep you interested and intrigued and not give us too much…..or there will be a full blown new trailer coming that shows everything. Just had to put that out there for everyone that’s so excited that the Halloween Ends TEASER trailer didn’t give away everything in the movie. But anyway…….where was I?
Oh! Barbarian! Yes, I’m excited. And it has been screened already and the buzz is good. Good buzz is better than bad buzz or no buzz. A lot of mentioning in review blurbs about ‘going in blind‘ and ‘what the fuck did I just watch?‘, so my advice is to see this as soon as you can on or before August 31st to avoid your Instagram friends plastering up spoilers and ruining everything. Peep the trailer below for Barbarian:
Vera Farmiga was in the 2009 horror movie Orphan. She sure is a pretty lady. Oh man, I remember watching that movie and seeing her and thinking……….
Wait, what? The twist?? Yeah, Chubby Checker created that dance. Ohhhh, the twist from the movie! Right, that’s what this post is supposed to be about. And what a twist it was. It’s been 13 years, so if you consider this a spoiler then I sincerely apologize. You see, the big twist was that Esther (the psychotic lead in the movie, played by Isabelle Fuhrman) was not a 9-year-old girl….something that was set up earlier in the movie. She was actually a 33-year-old woman! There was a reason for it (rare hormonal disorder), but it didn’t matter because what a doozy of a twist it was and still is.
It’s hard to get a good twist going nowadays by the way. And even harder, is keeping it secret and not having social media rugrats spoiler those twists. But anyway, I kinda love Orphan for what it is and the twist is kinda amazing if you think about it. The main reason I was thinking about this movie is because after 13 years, Esther is back in real prequel form! Once again played by Isabelle Fuhrman, the prequel Orphan: First Kill will showcase Esther with de-aging makeup as we see how she became psycho-cuckoo-nuts in the first place. Color me intrigued, and check out the trailer for Orphan: First Kill below, then go back and check out it’s predecessor for some sweet twist action!