Why Do I Want To See This New ‘Leprechaun’ Movie So Bad?

**Sits down and eats bowl of Lucky Charms**

Ya know, I was just saying to my friend the other day “Man, I really want to see another Leprechaun movie“.  And low and behold……a trailer was released last week for another Leprechaun movie!  Christmas miracles have started early this year.

Real quick, before I let you watch the trailer for Leprechaun Returns – this is a direct sequel to the first Leprechaun movie from 1993 (that one with that girl from the show Friends).  So, Halloween isn’t the only franchise erasing sequels!  Also, for those wondering – no, Warwick Davis is NOT reprising his role as the little Irish dude who wants his gold.  Fear not though, because I think we will be in good tiny hands with actor Linden Porco.

Oh!  And the bully from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure (Mark Holton…..who was also in the original Leprechaun movie) is back!  So yeah, I’m excited for some reason.  I’m easily amused, especially by wise-cracking killer leprechauns and bad acting.  We can all witness the Christmas miracle of Leprechaun Returns On Demand and digitally when December 11th rolls around.

The Bloody Tampon Scene: It Stains The Sands Red (2017)

If you ready the title of this post and were confused….intrigued….grossed-out….or all of the above – then you’ve come to the right place!  Because if you haven’t seen the 2017 spin on the zombie genre called It Stains The Sands Red, then you missed pretty much the best ‘bloody tampon’ scene ever in a zombie movie.  And probably the only one.

All joking aside, It Stains The Sands Red is a fresh little take on the over-saturated walking dead genre.  A lot of practical effects are are on-hand, making it gory good romp with one scene specifically sticking out to me.  When you’re trying to fend off a zombie who has a quench for blood, how do you lure him away?  With your bloody tampon of course!  Yeah, just watch the clip below and enjoy.  And seek out It Stains The Sands Red if you get a chance too!

Halloween Withdrawals: ‘Trick Or Treat Blues’ From The ‘Son Of Svengoolie’ TV Show!

Booooooo!!! (and not boo as in the ghostly good kind)  Halloween is over.  Christmas is coming.  And like most of you, I am having Halloween withdrawals.  So, what to do?? Well, watch an old parody song clip from the Son Of Svengoolie TV show of course!

Now, before I get into the clip – if you don’t know who or what the Son Of Svengoolie is, it was a horror-themed variety TV show that was based in the Chicago area with the character being played by Rich Koz.  Originally started in the early 70’s under the name Svengoolie (played then by Jerry G. Bishop), Son Of Svengoolie was a HUGE part of my childhood.  Fun fact:  The show is still currently on with new episodes (as Svengoolie again) on MeTV!

But anyway – I was scrolling around Youtube and found this old clip from the 80’s show parodying trick-or-treating with the aptly titled song ‘Trick Or Treat Blues’.  So enjoy the campy 80’s Son Of Svengoolie vibe and don’t fret…..Halloween will be here again before we know it!

Why Can’t We Make Michael Myers Scary Again?

Ok, so I haven’t officially done a review for the new Halloween on my site yet…..but here’s my review of it in a nutshell:

Loved the look of it, loved most of the nods to the original, loved the look of Michael Myers and the fact that Nick Castle was back.  Hated most of the humor, didn’t love the whole ‘I’ve been waiting 40 years for him to escape so I can kill him’ Jamie Lee Curtis storyline, and most importantly……I hated that Michael Myers wasn’t scary. 

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Which brings me to this brief rant.  Now, I enjoyed the new movie just fine.  I didn’t love it.  I didn’t think it was amazing.  And it probably won’t even be in my Top 5 for the year.  But I liked it.  Why can’t we make Michael Myers scary again though?  Oh – I’m sure some people will say that he was scary in this.  Stomping a head into pieces does not make him scary.  Appearing in the shadows, popping up in the background of a shot so you can barely see him, and methodically stalking a victim makes him scary.  And the mask breathing.  None of which was really found here.

I think that’s why the humor was a huge miss for me.  I get it – Danny McBride and David Gordon Green write comedy.  But I don’t need that in a Halloween movie.  Sure, a little humor can help break up the flow of a horror movie in a good way – because the contrast that comes later on with the dread and killing can make it all the more unsettling.  I just really missed my scary Michael when I watched this ‘sequel’.  I even think back to Halloween II (which I honestly love btw), and that scene where Jamie Lee Curtis is crawling across the hospital parking lot.  Just so well done.

I have faith though.  Because there will be a sequel to the new Halloween (money talks…..and Michael’s breathing at the end) – and I am hoping…..and praying…..that Michael Myers can and will be scary again.  And btw – what the hell happened to the asshole boyfriend in the movie?  He didn’t deserve to die?  Psssshhhh.

Sunday Bloody Sunday: ‘Fingers In The Eyes’ From ‘Halloween III – Season Of The Witch’ (1982)

One of my biggest fears is having my eyes gouged out of their sockets.  Mostly because it would hurt like a sonofabitch, and also because it would mean that I wouldn’t be able to see.  And I kind of need to see.  But anyway, it you get your eyes gouged just right…..and in the process get some bones broken……you wouldn’t need to worry about seeing, because you would most likely be dead.  Kind of like that guy in the hospital in Halloween III: Season Of The Witch!

Quick sidenote:  I love this movie.  But moving on to this edition of Sunday Bloody Sunday, yes we’re talking about gouged-out eyes.  Aside from being known for the masks and Silver Shamrock jingle, Halloween III had some pretty sweet death scenes.  And when shop owner Harry Grimbridge thinks he’s safe in the hospital and a mysterious stranger comes into his room, one of those pretty sweet death scenes occurs.  And we get a bonus death somewhat afterwards in the form of gasoline and a lighter!  Btw – how rude is it to wake up Tom Atkins while he’s napping?!?  Ughhhhhh.  Watch it below.  Happy Halloween!!

Halloween Mask Ideas: Creepy Bootleg Michael Jackson ‘Thriller’ Mask!

Hey!  Halloween is coming!  Do you want to find the one mask that will amaze your friends?  Do you want to find the one mask that will stupify your friends?  And do you want to find the one mask will instantly make you dance EXACTLY like Michael Jackson in the Thriller music video???  Ok.  The last part isn’t guaranteed to work, but give it a shot. And feast your eyes on THIS!

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Yikes!  Scarrrrry!  But also pretty fucking awesome.  Yes, that is a mask that is supposed to be zombified Michael Jackson from his infamous Thriller music video.  And apparently (according to the eBay listing), this is a Mexican bootleg.  Take that info as you will, but you should know from reading that part that you will not be able to find this in your local Spirit Halloween store.  But do you want one?  Then head on over to the eBay listing HERE and get your bid on.  Trust me, you’ll be the hit of the party!  Or you’ll frighten a lot of people, but it’s a win-win situation.  Happy Halloween!

‘H40: Halloween 40 Years Of Terror’ Convention Coming To Pasadena This Weekend!

It’s almost time, kids!  Yes, Halloween is almost upon us.  Not just the new movie, but also our favorite time of the year that lands on October 31st.  And what better way to get ready for both than with a massive convention celebrating all of the Halloween movies from the famed franchise – including that upcoming new one!

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The H40: Halloween 40 Years Of Terror convention begins this weekend (October 12-14) in Pasadena, California – which btw is the home of the actual Michael Myers house from the original 1978 film (stop by and check it out while you’re in town for the convention).  The guest list for H40 is impressive.  Below are just a few of the highlights for me:

Nick Castle (the original Michael Myers), PJ Soles (Halloween), Tom Atkins (Halloween III), Tyler Mane (Rob Zombie’s Halloween), David Gordon Green (writer/director Halloween 2018), Rhian Rees (Halloween 2018), and more!

On top of all of your favorite past and present Halloween franchise representers, there will be a ton of panels throughout the weekend highlighting a lot of the films.  Also, the vendors will be out in full frightful force selling all of the best merchandise.  Specifically – make sure to stop by the booths of Mondo, Jason Edmiston, Ghoulish Gary Pullin for some super limited Halloween themed posters and vinyl.

For more info and ticket purchasing for the H40: Halloween 40 Years Of Terror convention, head on over HERE now.  And I will see everyone there this weekend!

Great Moments In Horror Hair History: Cujo The Dog (1983)

Who says only stereotypical blonde bimbos in 80’s horror movies can have great hair?  Move over, stereotypical blonde bimbos…..there’s new fur in town.  I know it might be ‘ruff’ to realize that a rabid St. Bernard dog might show you up in the hair department, but let me introduce you to………..Cujo!

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Control yourself, everybody.  There are enough blood-soaked luscious locks to go around.  Oh sure, Cujo could use a bath.  He is a bit smelly, especially with the overpowering iron-based blood dripping all over his hair.  But you can’t deny, he’s quite the specimen.  Don’t let a little foaming at the mouth stop us from inducting Cujo into the class of Great Moments In Horror Hair History!  Now someone get him a napkin, please.

Halloween Candy Madness: Peanut Butter Kisses

One of my fondest memories of Halloween (besides the time that a crazy neighbor threw chocolate-covered grasshoppers at me and my friends) was getting home from a night of trick-or-treating and dumping my candy out on the kitchen table to gaze at my sugary prizes.  Oh it was exciting.  I would take my bucket…..lift the bucket high over my head…..and then see:

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Sonofabitch.  It’s those damned dreaded Peanut Butter Kisses!!  (smoke comes out nostrils and ears)  Do you ever want to know what a stomach ache tastes like?  Eat some Peanut Butter Kisses.  Now look, I get it – adults in the neighborhood didn’t want to spend a lot on Halloween candy, so they would opt for the ‘cheaper’ options to try and get by. And yes, I also get that the colors of the wrapping are festive for Halloween.  So it should be a ‘win-win’ situation, right?  Nope.

But alas, there is a bit of charm associated with Peanut Butter Kisses because they DO symbolize Halloween and yes……some people even (gulp) like them.  So maybe I’ve been too harsh in the past on these acquired taste (only if you have any true taste) candies, and I should embrace them for what they are:  Terrible tasting peanut butter flavored taffy candy that still makes me smile because they scream ‘Halloween’.  And sometimes, that’s all that matters, right?  Yay, Halloween!

Review: The Nun (2018)

Ah……The Conjuring Universe.  It might not be as cool or hip as the Marvel Universe – but it’s still a thing.  I dug the first two entries of The Conjuring.  Did not dig Annabelle, but I have an unmistakable love for Annabelle: Creation.  And so now in the world of horror spin-offs, we have The Nun aka Valak – who first terrified us in The Conjuring 2 and now gets the spotlight for her first movie focusing solely on the Valak character.  So is she just as terrifying here as she was in The Conjuring 2?  Ummm.  No.  Let us pray…….

I’m going to do something different with this review.  I’m not going to get into the specifics of the storyline (dark shadows, creepy nuns, bad jump scares….rinse, repeat) – I’m going to rant about how they fucked this up so badly.  You have a creeeeeepy character in Valak (god bless actress Bonnie Aarons for doing her best with what she was given here) and you choose to focus more on an exorcised kid and other nuns not named Valak. Adding insult to injury, Valak gets a terrible backstory involving Jesus’ blood (and an equally terrible ‘Holy shit’ joke) and the biggest sin:  she’s barely given any screen time until almost the end of the movie (with a part in the middle involving Taissa Farmiga running from Valak being the effective exception).

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Everything that should be spooky, creepy, frightening is stripped away here and dumbed down with non-effective jump scares.  There are multiple moments in The Nun when you think a scene is going to pay off, and then as soon as it should………we cut to another scene and never revisit the previous.  Oy.  See, but here’s the thing – The Nun made over 50 million at the box office this weekend.  So, I would imagine that a sequel will be on the way (after another Conjuring movie, and an Annabelle one, and another spin-off for The Crooked Man).  You see…..money talks.  And unfortunately at times (if not all of the time), that’s what matters to the studio.  The Nun and the Valak character in general deserved way better than this.  Perhaps the real creepiness of the character will be resurrected in the inevitable sequel.  But until then…….Jesus wept.

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(1 Out Of 5)