Halloween Mask Ideas: Creepy Bootleg Michael Jackson ‘Thriller’ Mask!

Hey!  Halloween is coming!  Do you want to find the one mask that will amaze your friends?  Do you want to find the one mask that will stupify your friends?  And do you want to find the one mask will instantly make you dance EXACTLY like Michael Jackson in the Thriller music video???  Ok.  The last part isn’t guaranteed to work, but give it a shot. And feast your eyes on THIS!

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Yikes!  Scarrrrry!  But also pretty fucking awesome.  Yes, that is a mask that is supposed to be zombified Michael Jackson from his infamous Thriller music video.  And apparently (according to the eBay listing), this is a Mexican bootleg.  Take that info as you will, but you should know from reading that part that you will not be able to find this in your local Spirit Halloween store.  But do you want one?  Then head on over to the eBay listing HERE and get your bid on.  Trust me, you’ll be the hit of the party!  Or you’ll frighten a lot of people, but it’s a win-win situation.  Happy Halloween!

‘H40: Halloween 40 Years Of Terror’ Convention Coming To Pasadena This Weekend!

It’s almost time, kids!  Yes, Halloween is almost upon us.  Not just the new movie, but also our favorite time of the year that lands on October 31st.  And what better way to get ready for both than with a massive convention celebrating all of the Halloween movies from the famed franchise – including that upcoming new one!

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The H40: Halloween 40 Years Of Terror convention begins this weekend (October 12-14) in Pasadena, California – which btw is the home of the actual Michael Myers house from the original 1978 film (stop by and check it out while you’re in town for the convention).  The guest list for H40 is impressive.  Below are just a few of the highlights for me:

Nick Castle (the original Michael Myers), PJ Soles (Halloween), Tom Atkins (Halloween III), Tyler Mane (Rob Zombie’s Halloween), David Gordon Green (writer/director Halloween 2018), Rhian Rees (Halloween 2018), and more!

On top of all of your favorite past and present Halloween franchise representers, there will be a ton of panels throughout the weekend highlighting a lot of the films.  Also, the vendors will be out in full frightful force selling all of the best merchandise.  Specifically – make sure to stop by the booths of Mondo, Jason Edmiston, Ghoulish Gary Pullin for some super limited Halloween themed posters and vinyl.

For more info and ticket purchasing for the H40: Halloween 40 Years Of Terror convention, head on over HERE now.  And I will see everyone there this weekend!

Great Moments In Horror Hair History: Cujo The Dog (1983)

Who says only stereotypical blonde bimbos in 80’s horror movies can have great hair?  Move over, stereotypical blonde bimbos…..there’s new fur in town.  I know it might be ‘ruff’ to realize that a rabid St. Bernard dog might show you up in the hair department, but let me introduce you to………..Cujo!

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Control yourself, everybody.  There are enough blood-soaked luscious locks to go around.  Oh sure, Cujo could use a bath.  He is a bit smelly, especially with the overpowering iron-based blood dripping all over his hair.  But you can’t deny, he’s quite the specimen.  Don’t let a little foaming at the mouth stop us from inducting Cujo into the class of Great Moments In Horror Hair History!  Now someone get him a napkin, please.

Halloween Candy Madness: Peanut Butter Kisses

One of my fondest memories of Halloween (besides the time that a crazy neighbor threw chocolate-covered grasshoppers at me and my friends) was getting home from a night of trick-or-treating and dumping my candy out on the kitchen table to gaze at my sugary prizes.  Oh it was exciting.  I would take my bucket…..lift the bucket high over my head…..and then see:

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Sonofabitch.  It’s those damned dreaded Peanut Butter Kisses!!  (smoke comes out nostrils and ears)  Do you ever want to know what a stomach ache tastes like?  Eat some Peanut Butter Kisses.  Now look, I get it – adults in the neighborhood didn’t want to spend a lot on Halloween candy, so they would opt for the ‘cheaper’ options to try and get by. And yes, I also get that the colors of the wrapping are festive for Halloween.  So it should be a ‘win-win’ situation, right?  Nope.

But alas, there is a bit of charm associated with Peanut Butter Kisses because they DO symbolize Halloween and yes……some people even (gulp) like them.  So maybe I’ve been too harsh in the past on these acquired taste (only if you have any true taste) candies, and I should embrace them for what they are:  Terrible tasting peanut butter flavored taffy candy that still makes me smile because they scream ‘Halloween’.  And sometimes, that’s all that matters, right?  Yay, Halloween!

Review: The Nun (2018)

Ah……The Conjuring Universe.  It might not be as cool or hip as the Marvel Universe – but it’s still a thing.  I dug the first two entries of The Conjuring.  Did not dig Annabelle, but I have an unmistakable love for Annabelle: Creation.  And so now in the world of horror spin-offs, we have The Nun aka Valak – who first terrified us in The Conjuring 2 and now gets the spotlight for her first movie focusing solely on the Valak character.  So is she just as terrifying here as she was in The Conjuring 2?  Ummm.  No.  Let us pray…….

I’m going to do something different with this review.  I’m not going to get into the specifics of the storyline (dark shadows, creepy nuns, bad jump scares….rinse, repeat) – I’m going to rant about how they fucked this up so badly.  You have a creeeeeepy character in Valak (god bless actress Bonnie Aarons for doing her best with what she was given here) and you choose to focus more on an exorcised kid and other nuns not named Valak. Adding insult to injury, Valak gets a terrible backstory involving Jesus’ blood (and an equally terrible ‘Holy shit’ joke) and the biggest sin:  she’s barely given any screen time until almost the end of the movie (with a part in the middle involving Taissa Farmiga running from Valak being the effective exception).

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Everything that should be spooky, creepy, frightening is stripped away here and dumbed down with non-effective jump scares.  There are multiple moments in The Nun when you think a scene is going to pay off, and then as soon as it should………we cut to another scene and never revisit the previous.  Oy.  See, but here’s the thing – The Nun made over 50 million at the box office this weekend.  So, I would imagine that a sequel will be on the way (after another Conjuring movie, and an Annabelle one, and another spin-off for The Crooked Man).  You see…..money talks.  And unfortunately at times (if not all of the time), that’s what matters to the studio.  The Nun and the Valak character in general deserved way better than this.  Perhaps the real creepiness of the character will be resurrected in the inevitable sequel.  But until then…….Jesus wept.

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(1 Out Of 5)

Get In On This Kickstarter For These Figures From ‘The Deadly Spawn’!

If I’m every talking about ‘guilty pleasure’ horror films, there’s no way that I won’t bring up the blood-soaked bonkers flick from 1983, The Deadly Spawn.  I still remember seeing this movie on a Saturday afternoon on regular TV when I was about 10……completely unedited, which blew my little adolescent mind (when I said blood-soaked earlier btw, I wasn’t kidding).  Aside from the red stuff, the creature fx done by John Dods were actually top notch – considering the film’s overall lower budget feel.  And now, there is a Kickstarter going on where you can pick up some newly sculpted figures that pay homage to Dods’ earlier work from The Deadly Spawn!

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This project, started by Justin Ishmael, will feature a variety of options to choose from as far as what your pleasure is.  James Groman (of Madballs fame) is sculpting the new tiny versions of The Deadly Spawn creatures, and you can get them either painted or unpainted.  The goal is $20k, to be reached by September 27th.  Right now, it’s at about $13k, so…..looking good!  You can get plenty of more details HERE and place an order for your figure too!  And if you haven’t seen The Deadly Spawn……what the hell are you waiting for???

Let’s Have Another Staring Contest…….

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Dr. Herbert West from Re-Animator!  Oh – look at the determination in his bulging eyes. Don’t fret.  You can break him.  Just don’t break any pencils out of frustration.  Stay focused.  Think about the fact that Bride of Re-Animator is a pretty good sequel.  Wait. What are you doing?!?  Don’t look away!  Oh – I see.  Barbara Crampton just walked into your field of vision while not wearing a bra.  Dammit, Herbert West!  You win this round!! Now you have nothing left to do but go get a job at a sideshow.

Horror Movie Posters I Love: Mausoleum (1983)

Sometimes I like to just gaze upon poster art for 80’s horror movies.  And a lot of times, that poster art is better than the actual movie.  So, let’s see……I wonder if the 1983 movie Mausoleum is all poster art and ‘no bite’, as far as the actual movie goes.  I’ll get to the latter in a minute, as I recently re-visited Mausoleum on Amazon Prime.  But first……the poster!

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Well damn.  Isn’t she a beauty.  The ‘dripping blood’ font in the title….the predictable, but clever tagline (Centuries of evil have just awakened)….and the rather cool looking skeleton gripping the mausoleum.  All signs point to the poster art being better than the movie!  But seriously folks – how fun were the 80’s when it came to horror?

Speaking of fun – did you know that none other than Aunt Esther from Sanford and Son (LaWanda Page) is in this movie???  Oh – and her scene is soooooo Aunt Esther.  But anyway – like I said, I recently watched Mausoleum again and……it stinks.  But in a good 80’s horror stinky way.  Like some aged cheese.  The poster art still gives me a horror boner, but if you have time and want a good time – seek out Mausoleum and embrace the 80’s madness!

Anticipation Alert: Puppet Master – The Littlest Reich (2018)

Oh, Puppet Master franchise……how I love and loathe you all at the same time.  I can remember renting the first in your series in 1989 from my local Mom & Pop video store.  It was a devious and delicious surprise that introduced me to some of my now favorite tiny little terrors:  Blade, Pinhead, and Tunneler to name a few.  And I kind of developed a crush on Leech Woman.  Don’t judge.  But anyway, for me – the franchise took a steep nosedive when the sequels starting getting lazily churned out by Full Moon Features.  A few new snazzy puppets were introduced along the way (Torch, Six-Shooter) – but overall the sequels were consistently a snoozefest.  But now…..could the Puppet Master franchise be reborn??

Enter into the ring, Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich!!  I will admit – when I first heard about this new sequel, I lazily rolled my eyes.  Then I saw that S. Craig Zahler (Bone Tomahawk, Brawl In Cell Block 99) wrote it, and my interest began to sway the other way.  Early word started to roll in that this movie pushed the boundaries as far as gore and ‘tastefulness’, not just in regards to the Puppet Master franchise – but for horror movies in general.  And because of that, my interest started swaying even more!  Then……the ‘red band’ trailer just recently dropped.  Check it out below, now!

Sold.  Sold.  Sold.  I’m so sold, that I’ll be going to the LA premiere on August 14th – so stay tuned for my review.  I can pretty much already tell this is in my wheelhouse.  Gore, gore, gore?  Check.  Things I probably shouldn’t be laughing at that could send me to hell?  Check.  Thomas Lennon is in this for some reason?  Check.  For those who can’t go to the LA premiere, Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich will be hitting select theaters and VOD on August 17th.  Killer puppet lovers of the world unite!!!

Spooky ‘ScareLA Convention’ Turns The Lights Off This Year! (August 25 + 26th)

‘Tis the season for horror and Halloween-themed conventions!  And one of my favorites to frequent out here in the Los Angeles area is the ScareLA convention in downtown LA. Going into it’s sixth year now, ScareLA combines everything horror + a full Halloween-time experience.  But this year……it’s going to get darker.  Literally.

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It’s been announced that ScareLA will immediately set all attendees into near darkness throughout the entire convention, giving those who are lucky enough to go a fully immersive Halloween-style experience!  Being called ‘Descend Into Darkness‘, the convention will be a first of it’s kind, not only being darkly lit throughout – but also featuring a ‘theme park feel’ as well…..including full-sized haunts, experiences, and rides. Spooooooooky and amazing!!

Now, if you can’t get to the LA area on the weekend of August 25th + 26th – then follow my Instagram story to stay connected to all of the ghostly goings-ons that will be happening (shameless plug).  If you do want to attend ScareLA in person though, then head on over to their site HERE and snatch up those tickets and get more info.  And while you’re there, use promo code INSTAMONSTER to get a discount on your tickets!  Word to the wise, this event gets PACKED – so get there early if you are going!  Happy Summerween, everybody!!!