Review – Annabelle: Creation (2017)

It’s hard to believe that The Conjuring spinoff flick called Annabelle came out almost 3 years ago.  It seems like just yesterday that I was throwing tomatoes at the screen and yelling obscenities after watching that atrocity.  But, I have good news!  A prequel to that very movie called Annabelle: Creation has arrived and……….wait for it…………..it’s good!!!  Oh – and pretty fucking scary too.   Continue reading

Review: It Comes At Night (2017)

There’s a debate raging in the world of horror right now!  And that debate is whether or not the new horror film It Comes At Night was marketed in a deceivingly unfair way.  I did a post about the original trailer a few months back and noted how creepy it looked (with accompanying creepy music as well).  Now granted, the trailer did make it look like a lot more would be happening in the movie from an action standpoint…….but after watching the movie, you know what?  I didn’t care about what the trailer may or may not have promised because I loved the movie anyway.    Continue reading

Dirty Horror’s Rapid Reviews: ‘The Girl With All The Gifts’, ‘Beyond The Gates’, ‘Alien: Covenant’

It’s that time again where I don’t have a lot of time to write full reviews for recent movies that I have had the pleasure of viewing, so I will sum each of them up in a few sentences of my thoughts.  Sound good?  Here we go!    Continue reading

Review: The Dark Tapes (2017)

If the last few ‘found footage’ horror movies have left a bad taste in your mouth (I’m looking at you Blair Witch), then there’s a little treat that I’m about to throw your way.  And that treat is called The Dark Tapes!   Continue reading

Dirty Horror’s Rapid Reviews: Get Out (2017), The Belko Experiment (2017), Pet (2016)

Being that I’m a busy man (some sarcasm is implied there), I haven’t been keeping up on my reviews!  For shame.  Soooooooo – instead of boring everyone with long-winded summaries of what I thought of my recent watches, I’ll condense them and skip the bullshit.  Let’s go!    Continue reading

Review: XX (2017)

Anthology films are like a box of chocolates…..you never know what you’re going to get. Unless of course you are eating a box of chocolates that has that little guide on it to show you what you’re going to get.  But anyway, anthology films (specifically horror movies) can be hit-or-miss.  Creepshow will forever be my favorite, but more recently the VHS franchise was the definition of being hit-or-miss as far as anthologies go.  Now comes along XX:  Four tales all directed by women that are intertwined with creepy stop-motion animation.  Will these gals go 4 for 4 or are we entering more hit-or-miss territory here? My money is on the latter unfortunately.    Continue reading

Review: Split (2017)

Alright everybody, I want you to meet Kevin!  And I also want you to meet Barry!  And also Patricia!  Oh, and also Hedwig!  And……Dennis!  Don’t worry, the room won’t get crowded because it’s all the same person.  Hooray for split personalities!  And hooray for the triumphant return of M. Night Shyamalan who is back and better than ever
with the new psychological horror film, Split.    Continue reading

Review: Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights Hollywood (2016)

Ahhhhh – another year and another trip to Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights in Hollywood!  When the news broke about the lineup of mazes this year, people were in a bit of a frenzy, and for good reason because a lot of your favorite horror icons were finally going to be on the same bill!  I’m talking Freddy, Jason, Michael, Leatherface, Krampus…..ok, maybe Krampus isn’t a horror icon, but we’ll get to him later on in the review.  The question is, would it all be worth it?  And would HHN jack the prices up even more this year?  Yes to both of those questions!  So let’s go from worst to first and get it going…..    Continue reading

Review: 31 (2016)

Let’s all go to the lobby…..Let’s all go to the lobby…..Let’s all go to the lobby, to get ourselves a treat!  Delicious things to eat, the popcorn can’t be beat…..The sparkling drinks are just dandy, the chocolate bars and nut candy…..So let’s all go to the lobby, to get ourselves a treat!  Why am I starting this review of Rob Zombie’s new movie 31 with lyrics from an old 50’s tune that you would hear play before a movie starts?  Beats the fuck outta me, but it’s more interesting than most of what’s going on in 31 unfortunately.   Continue reading

Review: Don’t Breathe (2016)

(Start instructional video music)

Do you and your friends want to get into the business of robbing a house?  Do you want to make hundreds of thousands of dollars doing it?  Are you quick on your feet and able to escape the clutches of a vengeful blind man?  Do you have a fear of turkey basters?  If you answered yes to the first three questions and no to the second, then you’re ready to begin! And I’m now ready to begin my review of director Fede Alvarez’s second feature film, Don’t Breathe.   Continue reading