Oh. Hi Annabelle. Ok – just because you have a brand new movie coming out in a few weeks, it doesn’t mean that you’re going to beat us at this staring contest. My, what big eyes you have though. Ok, time to stay focused. Don’t be distracted by her rosy cheeks. Don’t be distracted by her pigtails and fancy bangs. Just try and think about…….wait. Why am I peeing my pants? Dammit, Annabelle! You possessed me and made me piss myself, thus making me lose the staring contest! Arrrgh. Go see Annabelle: Creation on August 11th in theaters. She made me say that too.
Have you ever been in your gym having a nice workout and wondered if it was possessed? Maybe the bad body odor going through the air can play tricks on your mind, making you think that something is controlling everyone’s smelly armpits. Well, I’m here to tell you that your gym probably isn’t haunted. But in the 1989 horror movie Death Spa (also awesomely known as Witch Bitch), there is a haunted gym/spa and it’s killing people in fun ways!
Welcome to Sunday Bloody Sunday, where I am indeed highlighting the movie Death Spa. A first-time watch for me recently, this movie is pure 80’s horror cheesy greatness. How I let this one slip by me for this long is beyond me. And one of the things that makes it great, besides the 80’s aerobic outfits and multiple boob sightings, are some inventive kills. Case in point, the one below where a woman is literally torn apart by a shattering mirror. But don’t take my word for it – click below to see, and do yourself a favor and watch the whole movie. And horror favorite Ken Foree is in it too!
Most horror movie characters come and go. Literally. Because most of them die. But one horror movie character stands the test of time. A character so phenomenal…..so monumental…..so great in his white suit as he fights demons and tells people to “Smash everything! Smash everything!” that he deserves all of this praise and more. Feast your eyes and ears on the man….the myth…..Tony The Pimp from 1985’s Demons!
First off, much praise to whoever put that compilation up on Youtube. Second, Tony The Pimp is played by actor Bobby Rhodes – so he obviously deserves most of the credit here. And thirdly, how can sideburns be so devastating? Tony The Pimp’s sideburns are no ordinary sideburns, that’s why. He’s pretty much the black Chuck Norris. Whether he’s kicking in a door because there’s no need for anything else or schooling a group of people on what an ‘Instrument Of Evil‘ is – Tony The Pimp lights up the screen and not just because he’s wearing that white suit.
The dubbing is a fantastic touch as well. So get up out of your seats…..wave your hands in the air like you just don’t care…..and if you got on clean underwear, make some noise and show your love for Tony The Pimp! And go watch Demons again because it’s an amazing movie.
I’m apparently on a Vincent Price kick lately (see the previous House of Wax post), or it may be that my writer’s block has set in. Most likely a little bit of both. In any case, please enjoy this ad for Vincent Price hocking Monster Vitamins in the 70’s and trying to save you 25 cents in the process! What a swell dude.
This is not to upset any of my readers who are senior citizens, but old people can really creep me out. I think I’m still traumatized by visions of the lady in the bathtub from The Shining. Hell, and don’t even get me started on Rabid Grannies. So anyway, as I was revisiting last years ‘love it or hate it’ horror movie It Follows – I was once again reminded just how much the geriatric folk get under my skin…….
Obviously the amazing score from Disasterpeace helps accentuate that scene and many others in the film. But even without any music, this scene would still have me twitching with uncomfortableness. Like I said earlier, love it or hate – It Follows nailed certain aspects of what’s missing in horror nowadays. And creepy slow-walking elderly people is one of them. I’m talking more so about the overall feel of the movie of course, but if you never worried about looking out a window and seeing an old lady in a hospital gown slowly walking towards you – I bet you will now. Btw – would you just fight them off with Bengay or dentures or something?
One of my favorite times of the year is when horror conventions come around, and this year there’s a doozy coming to Los Angeles! Yes – the Days Of The Dead horror convention will be making it’s return, this time on April 1-3 at the Marriott Hotel in Burbank.
If you’ve ever wanted a photo-op with Tobin Bell from the Saw series, now’s your chance! And if you’ve ever wanted to meet ‘The Gimp’ from Pulp Fiction, now’s your chance for that too! Personally, I’m actually kind of excited to see the Cobra Kai student/teacher combo of Martin Kove & William Zabka from The Karate Kid. Not really horror-related, but awesome nonetheless. Check out the link right HERE for more info and tickets for Days Of The Dead ‘Los Angeles’, and stay tuned for more guest announcements as well. Oh – follow me on my Facebook page for a chance to win passes too!