It’s Almost Mommy’s Day!

Mother’s Day.  The time of the year to show your Mom how much she means to you by getting her some cheap flowers from the grocery store.  But Mother’s Day is also the time of the year to remember that scene from John Carpenter’s In The Mouth Of Madness where that creepy little girl says this:

Yes, I know – that’s a random clip to play to correspond with Mother’s Day.  But, I was giving In The Mouth Of Madness a re-watch the other night and that scene always creeped me out.  Maybe it’s the way she takes that little pause before she says “Today is Mommy’s Day” in that unsettling whisper.

Lots of things creep me out about this movie though (that bike scene forever haunts me), but that little girl needed more screen time.  Nevertheless – kudos to In the Mouth Of Madness for being, in my opinion, one of Carpenter’s most underrated films (albeit the plot is a bit of a mess).  And an early kudos to the mothers out there (including mine) who tolerated us watching movies like this!

And Now……Vomit Talk: With Seth Brundle!

Hey everybody!  Welcome to Vomit Talk.  I’m your host, Seth Brundle!  You might know me from one of the greatest remakes of all time – The Fly!  And today, as the title suggested, I want to talk about vomit.  Yeah, being a fly is tough.  I don’t have any teeth, so I have to find fun new ways to enjoy my meals.  Like…..vomiting!  Remember that time I did that thing to that guy Stathis in the movie?  (audience applause)

Well, let’s reminisce and take a look back at it now!

(audience laughter)

Hahaha – man, those were some good times!  Don’t worry about Stathis though.  He survived and even appeared in the inferior (but somewhat fun) sequel!  I apologize if my vomiting grossed some of you out while you were eating breakfast.  I’m a fly and can’t help it!  (audience awwwws)

I will say, that I’m still impressed with the effects that were used in this movie, especially for its time, and to this day I think it’s one of David Cronenberg’s best movies.  I’m equally impressed as well with the amount of vomit that came out of my mouth!  (audience groans)

So join us next time on Vomit Talk, where I’ll show you what I’m having for dinner.  Careful if you’re in the first few rows though, you might get wet and disintegrate!  (over-the-top audience laughter and applause)

Ebay Find Of The Week: ‘Ghoulies’ Promotional Hand Puppet!

If you’ve got the quarantine blues, I have come to the rescue with something that I found on eBay guaranteed to provide you with hours of fun!  And that something is………an official promotional Ghoulies hand puppet!

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Did I say hours of fun?  Sorry, I’m a liar.  A few minutes is probably a little more accurate.  But, if you love Ghoulies – then this is the hand puppet for you!  Actually, kind of a lame hand puppet if you think about it.  Shouldn’t it just be of the green Ghoulie filling up the whole thing so you could move him around like an actual puppet?  But I digress.

It’s still fun and if you’d like to check out more info on it (there’s not really much more than what I told you though, honestly) – you can go HERE and get filled in.  Gotta admit though, the “They’ll get you in the end!” tagline was always pretty amazing.

What About Bob? That Annoying Kid From ‘The House By The Cemetery’ (1981)

As I sit here in quarantine, I think to myself….what could possibly make this worse.  Running out of toilet paper?  Running out of oily rags that I could use as mock toilet paper?  Or how about being quarantined with the kid from The Babadook!!??  Oh god, no!  Anything but that!  Well, I will tell you – as much flack as that kid gets (and rightfully so) for being an annoying obnoxious little shit, he’s got nothing on my boy Bob from the 1981 Italian ridiculousness called The House By The Cemetery.

Now, if you’ve seen the movie – then you know all about Bob.  A little boy with an uncanny high-pitched (almost middle-aged woman’s) voice that will surely have you looking for cotton to stuff into your abused earholes.  It wasn’t all Bob’s fault, mind you – the main culprit was terrible English dubbing (as was the case in a lot of Italian horror movies from the 70’s and 80’s).  Now, I must warn you.  The clip below is not for the squeamish.  I don’t mean because it’s gory, but…..well…..you’ll see (or should I say hear).  Take it away, Bob!

Oh you know the Mom wanted to keep his shrill-voice having ass locked in that basement.  I ain’t saying that I want a kid to die in a horror movie, but…….I would understand.  God bless whoever strung together those clips of dear old Bob for all of us to enjoy on Youtube!  Btw – Bob really hit that high note with that scream when he saw the decapitated head, didn’t he??

Well, this post was just to show you that the kid from The Babadook isn’t the only kid in a horror movie that deserves to die a slow agonizing death.  I mean that in the kindest, gentlest way possible of course.  But go check out The House By The Cemetery on Shudder if you haven’t seen it.  Oh, who am I kidding – I just scared everyone away with the 3 1/2 minute Bob-A-Thon.

The Other April Fool’s Day Movie: ‘Slaughter High’ (1986)

Shit!  April Fool’s Day is almost over and I forgot to talk about my favorite April Fool’s Day  themed movie!  This might shock you, but the movie is not…….April Fool’s Day.  Oh, I enjoy that movie and Biff from Back To The Future is in it and all – but my favorite movie based on April 1st is……..Slaughter High!  Which was actually called April Fool’s Day when it was filmed.  This is all very confusing.  Let’s watch the original trailer!

What the hell is up with that voiceover guy?  Is this a horror movie or a wacky 80’s teen sex romp?  Nevertheless, that theme music is the shit – and bad voiceover guy aside, Slaughter High is a pretty underrated 80’s slasher movie in my opinion.

It has the classic ‘kid gets bullied and comes back to kill all of his tormentors‘ storyline, some great death scenes (gut-buster anyone?), and a villain that actually could have spawned some sequels had the actor who portrayed him not passed away after the film was shot.  Well that was a downer.  Ummmmm……how about that theme music?!?!?  The lesson in all of this (other than a voiceover guy can use too many bad puns), is to remember Slaughter High when you think of another April Fool’s Day themed movie to watch on April 1st.  Did I mention that theme music btw?

Quarantine Movie Of The Week: Bliss (2019)

**Knock Knock** (door opens)

I’m here for the Bliss party.” “Wait, what?  It was last month??  Dammit.

Ah yes, I’m late to another party.  But not just any party……the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer!  Um, I mean……the Bliss party!  Ah yes – Bliss is writer/director Jeff Begos’ third feature film (his first being Almost Human, which honestly I didn’t love).  But with this one – Begos gave me a gore boner, and also gave me an eye boner too (if that’s a real thing)…..because those visuals and the overall style and vibe of Bliss left me having Mandy flashbacks (in a good way).  I debated throwing a clip from the movie in the post, but check the trailer out instead:

During these ‘end of days’ times we’re living in right now, Bliss was a perfect viewing – not because the subject matter matches our current quarantined conditions, but because it was a brisk and gory good time!  Did I mention the music?  The vampire aspect?  The standout performance of Dora Madison?  The gore? (the head snapback got me) And what about George Wendt? (Norm!)

Bliss clocks in around 80 minutes so it doesn’t really have any time to drag around.  Once the drugs make an appearance, the vampires aren’t far behind.  And from then on, sit back and enjoy the show (and possibly get a seizure from the visuals too).  While the storyline sort of made me think of 2015’s The Devil’s Candy (sans vampires of course), Bliss did enough to stand out on it’s own.  Being that I’ve already heard good things about Jeff Begos’ new movie VFW, I’m psyched to see not only that – but what he brings in the future as he seems to be hitting his stride.  Go check out Bliss on Shudder now!  They’re doing a free 30-day promo (Code = SHUTIN) for all my fellow quarantiners.  Not sure quarantiners is a word, but it is now.

Give Me The Creeps: ‘The Chapel Scene’ From ’28 Days Later’ (2002)

During these trying times while dealing with the spread of coronavirus, I give you some sage advice:  STAY OUT OF CHURCHES!  And also, stock up on toilet paper or you’ll be wiping your ass with leaves from outside.  But yes, if you believe anything from the 2002 classic 28 Days Later, then you know that you shouldn’t go poking around in churches.  Otherwise this might happen:

For my money, this is still one of the most effective scenes EVER (yes, ever) in a horror movie (or, movie in general).  Those two dudes that pop up when Jim says “Hello?” still get me shook to this very day and give me the creeps.  Hard to believe that we’ll be approaching a 20-year anniversary soon for this movie, as it has aged incredibly well and still remains a revelation for its style and overall influence that it had on the zombie subgenre.  But alas, like I said – these are trying times at the moment…..so hunker down, enjoy some good horror, and for God’s sake stay out of the churches!

Legendary Thrash Metal Band TESTAMENT Unleash New Tour & Album In April!

Dating alllllllll the way back to the 80’s, Testament has remained a fixture to this very day in the thrash metal scene.  Definitely one of the more underappreciated bands, they continue to bring it and continue to tour to bring it to YOU.  I saw them a few years back, and they blew my mind.  And now Testament is embarking on a new US Tour this April, along with Black Dahlia Murder and Municipal Waste, to promote their upcoming album TITANS OF CREATION.

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And speaking of the new album, what better way to get my attention than with a horror-themed first track called ‘Night Of The Witch‘?  Looking forward to hearing this one live when I see them in Anaheim on the tour, and it makes my anticipation for the album even greater.  So just a quick recap:  The new Testament album TITANS OF CREATION is out April 3rd everywhere.  The US Tour supporting that album kicks off April 20th in Phoenix.  And you can follow everything that is Testament right HERE.  Now, turn your speakers waaaaaaay up and check out the ‘Night Of The Witch‘ lyric video below.

That Time Sonny Bono Turned Into A Bunch Of Plants (Troll – 1986)

I was racking my brain trying to come up with a good clip that freaked me out as a child that I could ‘Cher’ with you.  I thought about it long and hard, and then said to myself “Wait – I got you, babe!”  Yes, I came up with the perfect clip along with some terrible puns and references to Sonny Bono as well.  Because…..Sonny Bono is in the clip!  See how that all worked out?  And the traumatizing clip is from 1986’s Troll, a fun little horror romp not really for kids (although a lot of kids probably watched it).  Now let’s watch Sonny Bono morph into a bunch of plants!

I mean, the troll is kinda cute – even if he is kind of an asshole.  The make-up effects are pretty top notch (as were most in the 80’s), and if you’re into former husbands of Cher turning into shrubbery….then Troll is the movie for you!  Unfortunately for Troll, it would be it’s successor Troll 2 that would go on to live in infamy as the movie everyone would cheer for.  Any movie that has a seductive ‘corn-on-the-cob popcorn scene’ is sure to always win the prize.  But we shall never forget you, Sonny Bono.  You sacrificed yourself for the greater good of greenery.

‘The Oddities Flea Market’ Is Coming Back To Los Angeles July 11-12!

As a lover of anything creepy and/or unusual, I am very excited that The Oddities Flea Market is coming back to downtown Los Angeles on July 11th & 12th!  If you’ve never been, then now is the time to prepare your eyes and your wallet.

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Here’s more from the official press release:

On Saturday, July 11th and Sunday, July 12th, Downtown Los Angeles‘ historic Globe Theatre will transform into a world of obscure, unusual and curious delights as THE ODDITIES FLEA MARKET returns for their annual Spring market curated by skeleton articulation virtuoso, collector and star of Discovery‘s Oddities, RYAN MATTHEW COHN and his wife/event producer REGINA MARIE COHN.

Attendees will be able to peruse items ranging from anatomical curiosities and osteological specimens, taxidermy, occult and obscure home décor, jewelry and clothing to natural history ephemera, medical history rarities and one-of-a-kind dark art designs from over 60 vendors including event curator Ryan Matthew Cohn, Conjurers Kitchen, Necromance, Gotham Taxidermy, Margaret Cross, Oddball Oddity and more (listed below). The event will also feature DJ sets throughout both days from Portland industrial/goth outfit, Dead Animal Assembly Plant.

General admission single day tickets for THE ODDITIES FLEA MARKET are available in advance for $10 or $15 cash-only at the door. A limited amount of VIP tickets are available which include two hours advance entry (10:00 A.M. – 12:00 P.M.) for $40. Children under 10 get in free.

If you want to grab your tickets now (which is recommended), go HERE and snatch them up!  And for more info in general about The Oddities Flea Market, head over HERE to stay in the loop.