Each Thanksgiving, I like to take a moment and reflect on the year of horror so far and think of five things that I’m thankful for. Sometimes it’s hard to do after eating a pound of turkey and mashed potatoes, so I’ll give you my list a few days before Turkey Day this time to save you from some sluggish writing. Continue reading
Tag Archives: 2016 horror movies
Review: 31 (2016)
Let’s all go to the lobby…..Let’s all go to the lobby…..Let’s all go to the lobby, to get ourselves a treat! Delicious things to eat, the popcorn can’t be beat…..The sparkling drinks are just dandy, the chocolate bars and nut candy…..So let’s all go to the lobby, to get ourselves a treat! Why am I starting this review of Rob Zombie’s new movie 31 with lyrics from an old 50’s tune that you would hear play before a movie starts? Beats the fuck outta me, but it’s more interesting than most of what’s going on in 31 unfortunately. Continue reading
Anticipation Alert: Ouija – Origin Of Evil (2016)
Wait, wait, wait! Don’t judge me just yet. Give the post a chance. Let’s get the obvious out of the way. 2014’s stinker called Ouija was a indeed a piece of crap. And somehow (I just looked this up) it made over $100 million at the box office worldwide. Let me repeat that loudly: $100 MILLION! Well because of that, it’s not a shit movie shocker that a sequel was announced. Normally I would yawn and flip off my computer at the same time when I hear something like that, but I saw that director Mike Flanagan (Hush, Oculus) was attached and suddenly became a little intrigued.
Look who’s having fun with a Ouija board up there! Her eye is quite large. So anyway, Ouija: Origin Of Evil was announced and is actually coming out October 21st – just in time for Halloween. I think that’s one of the other reasons why I’m somewhat interested in this because any horror movie that comes out around Halloween is worth a little of my time. Granted, the PG-13 rating is a downer – but give me some creepy goodness and we can work around that negative.
Did I mention that Henry Thomas from E.T. is in this? Well there you go. Another reason to possibly check it out. Don’t worry, I’ll totally eat crow if this sucks but it can’t be worse than the shit bomb that was unleashed upon us in 2014. On a side note – I’ve never owned a Ouija board and kind of want one. I can summons my Grandma and ask her if she still needs me to mow her lawn. Check out the trailer for Ouija: Origin Of Evil below, and try and ignore some of the CGI:
Review: Lights Out (2016)
As a kid, I do remember having a fear of the dark. I had a special Donald Duck night light (it didn’t quack though) that I suppose was put in place to protect me against whatever I was fearful of. Problem is, I wasn’t really afraid of anything in particular. And certainly not a manipulative vengeful spirit with a rare skin disorder that survives in the dark named Diana. Continue reading
‘The Devil’s Candy’ Trailer Has Arrived……In Russian!
Having already jerked off the poster for The Devil’s Candy the other week and the overall premise of the movie that apparently fuses horror and heavy metal together, I come bearing great news for those who loved the poster as much as me! A teaser trailer has been released, and it has everything you could want. Except the English language. Yeah, unfortunately it’s in Russian and doesn’t have subtitles. Although I did make out someone saying “Metallica” at some point.
Nevertheless, the visuals alone are worth the watch and if you do speak and understand Russian, then it’s a bonus for you! By the way, The Devil’s Candy is written and directed by Sean Byrne who did The Loved Ones, one of my favorite horror movies in the last 10 years. Check the Russian-fused trailer below:
Anticipation Alert: The Conjuring 2 (2016)
Well, we are almost 5 months into the horror movie bonanza of 2016 and so far it’s been pretty……zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……oh sorry, I snoozed off there. Even talking about the current crop of 2016 horror movies makes me drowsy. Yes, there have been a few hits and surprises (10 Cloverfield Lane, The Witch), but for the most part it’s been kind of ho-hum this year. However, all that could be changing on June 10th, when The Conjuring 2 is released to hopefully breathe a little life into the near lifeless body that is 2016 horror.
Anytime you have that many crucifixes in your house, things probably aren’t going to be sunshine and rainbows. Now, I have to declare that The Conjuring was a smack in the face to me back in 2013 when it came out, and to this day remains on my list of horror movies that I tell people they have to see. It was smart, scary, and visually all that and a bag of chips. Do the kids still say that phrase nowadays? Anywho, judging from the trailer for The Conjuring 2, I think it’s safe to say that it will be one of the creepiest horror movies of 2016.
The Conjuring 2 will find our favorite paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga) flying to merry old England to take on some more possessed entities and creepy nuns apparently, as evidenced by the trailer. James Wan is back in the director’s chair, and recently he even put together a Virtual Reality Experience to hype you up even more for the June 10th release date. So stay tuned my friends, as I will be giving you my thoughts and review on The Conjuring 2 as soon as I see it. By the way, do you think it would be impolite to ask Vera Farmiga to marry me?
Review: Bite (2016)
When I first heard about the movie Bite, I was definitely intrigued and my interest grew steadily. I dig gross-out horror movies that involve bugs or people turning into bugs. And when the trailer arrived, my interest grew larger. And then the early reports of screenings came out where people were passing out and throwing up and my interest kept growing, and growing, and growing..…until it was ready to explode all over the….. Continue reading
Anticipation Alert: The Invitation (2016)
Tension in movies is good for your heart. I don’t know exactly if that’s a proven fact and I’m not a doctor, so take it for what it’s worth. But speaking of tension, I keep hearing that a new movie called The Invitation has loads and loads of it.
What’s The Invitation you ask? Well the rather long synopsis below should help you out:
“Will and Eden were once a loving couple. After a tragedy took their son, Eden disappeared. Two years later, out of the blue, she returns with a new husband… and as a different person, eerily changed and eager to reunite with her ex and those she left behind. Over the course of a dinner party in the house that was once his, the haunted Will is gripped by mounting evidence that Eden and her new friends have a mysterious and terrifying agenda. But can we trust Will’s hold on reality? Or will he be the unwitting catalyst of the doom he senses?”
Having already played a few festivals last year, The Invitation is getting a lot of positive buzz and after you watch the teaser trailer below, I think you’ll be just as in as I am. Look for it in select theaters and VOD on March 25th!