One of the great things about 80’s horror movies were the trailers that would be released before the movie came out, and more specifically the voiceover that would accompany them. The trailer for The Burning comes to mind as one of the better ones, but unfortunately for every good one – there’s a terrible one. Enter in the trailer for the low-budget slasher from 1981 called Don’t Go Into The Woods…..Alone! You have to shout the last part of the title because of the exclamation mark. Now granted, this movie is not good in it’s own right – but the voiceover in the teaser below is in a class all it’s own:
I commend the guy for trying to add a little bit of slam poetry to the voiceover, but I suspect that wasn’t his intention. He sounds confused while reading it – and because of that it’s our gain because it’s unintentionally awesome. God bless the 80’s.
“Something’s out there in the woods and it’s……killing people!”
I did learn from the trailer that Ingrid and Peter couldn’t believe that it happened to them, so there’s that I guess. But all jokes aside, this is a great little slice of 80’s horror nostalgia and deserves to be seen by everyone with an affection towards that era. So I salute you, voiceover guy from the Don’t Go Into The Woods…..Alone! The horror world is a better place because of your inability to correctly read from a script.
Creepy doll? Check. Creepy mask? Check. Typical stupid 80’s horror movie decisions? Double check. Welcome to my recurring feature called Give Me The Creeps, where I tell you what scenes from horror movies make me sleep with a nightlight on.
In my opinion, daylight horror movie killings are always creepier than if they’re at night. And one of the best and most effective scenes that accomplishes the daylight atmosphere is from the 1983 underrated slasher flick, Curtains. If you’ve seen it, then you know what’s coming. If you haven’t, you might rethink going on an ice skating excursion this winter.
The thing that’s brilliant about this scene other than the fact that it takes place in broad daylight, is just how well it’s set up. Sure there’s some cheesy 80’s music to start with, but once Christie finds that creepy ass doll in the snow – you know it’s about to be on. The killer’s ‘old hag’ mask is one of the creepiest ever in my opinion, and the slow motion skating/stalking more than puts my nerves on edge. Gotta love that grunting that the killer does too when he or she (I won’t tell if you haven’t seen the movie) is swinging that sickle back and forth. This is arguably the best scene from Curtains, but you should definitely check out the whole movie if you haven’t. Synapse Films just released it on Blu-ray, so there’s no excuse not to!
You gotta love a horror movie where the killer’s weapon of choice is a power drill. Even better – when that drill is insinuated to be a penis throughout the movie and on the original poster and cover art as well.
If you couldn’t figure it out by now, my ‘Ebay Find Of The Week’ is indeed the original 27″ X 40″ poster for 1982’s, The Slumber Party Massacre. Sure, the movie is terrible. But terrible in a great way mind you, and I know that a hardcore 80’s slasher fan would love to have that giant drill penis framed up on their bedroom wall. Laugh if you want, but this beauty is going for $89.95 up on Ebay right HERE and it has 16 watchers at the moment. Which basically means someone is going to snatch it up and that someone is going to be having drill penis poster parties in the near future. And I bet this guy below is going to be the first one in line at the door.
If you like Scooby Doo endings, then I’m sure you loved 1981’s underrated slasher flick, Happy Birthday To Me. And if you have a fondness for shish kabobs, then I’m sure you thought twice about letting your significant other feed you one after seeing that movie.
Welcome to Sunday Bloody Sunday where this week, you guessed it – we’re talking shish kabobs! Delicious, mouth-watering, murderous shish kabobs. I personally think that Ginny overreacted just a tad after Steve was trying to put the moves on her with a romantic fire burning in the background. Are her shish kabob feeding skills really that bad or is she a vengeful murderer who was set to take Steve out from the get-go? You be the judge as you watch the clip below:
I think that wood rafting doesn’t get the kind of respect it deserves nowadays. Back in 1981, wood rafting was all the rage in the slasher film, The Burning. It was incorporated into the highlight of the film and I’m highlighting it on this week’s Sunday Bloody Sunday.
For those unaware, The Burning is your standard 80’s revenge slasher flick and it starred some of Tom Savini’s best make-up effects from his career. And without a doubt, his crown jewel from this movie was the rafting scene where a group of kids unknowingly stumble upon Cropsy and his gardening shears. Enjoy!
It’s time for another edition of the award-winning weekly feature, Sunday Bloody Sunday! The place where I spotlight death scenes from your favorite horror movies in pictorial form, remembering the days before Youtube and all of this other fancy schmancy technology, when we had to get our horror fix in magazine form. This week, a movie that holds a special place in my heart as far as horror movie kills go: 1981’s The Prowler.
Featuring the outstanding make-up effects of the great Tom Savini, this was the movie where I think he really started to hit his stride. The movie itself is the standard 80’s slasher affair (masked killer wearing World War II fatigues comes back for revenge at a school dance), but the kills were on a whole other level. With a lot to choose from, it was hard to pick, but I’m gonna go with the epic ‘knife through the skull’ kill of Carl and the aftermath of him hanging in the shower. That scene was definitely one of those “Holy Shit!” moments. If you’ve seen The Prowler (aka Rosemary’s Killer), feel free to give me your favorite kills from the movie too!
*what do you think was going through his head when this was happening? oh yeah – the knife was*