Tag Archives: best 80’s horror movies

Give Me The Creeps: The Gate (1987)

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Back in the late 80’s, I was in full horror movie swing.  Two-fisting rentals from my local video store, I would have marathons with everything I was renting, and take the occasional break to masturbate.  Too much info?  I was coming of age, so deal with it.  Already at that moment in my life where I scoffed at PG and PG-13 horror movies, I would usually go straight for the ‘Rated R’ flicks and steer clear of those made for the “kiddies”.  However, there were actually quite a few PG and PG-13 rated horror movies back then that were worthy of my eyes (Critters comes to mind), but only one really creeped me out and still does to this day.  And that would be……….The Gate!

The Gate is one of those horror movies that feels like it’s Rated R, but it’s not.  There’s goop, slime, blood, zombies, little demons, bigger demons, and satanic rock albums – but on a level that was able to grant the movie a PG-13 rating in 1987.  The old man zombie always creeped me out when he busts through the wall, and then through a mirror before falling to the ground and bursting into a bunch of the little demons.  But the other scene that gets under my skin is when the kids discover the dead dog (with tongue hanging out to boot) and Glen (Stephen Dorff) goes to the front door of the house to see his parents greeting him outside.

That scene made me never want to be bad as a kid anymore, for fear that my Dad would grab me by the neck if I did and say “You’ve been bad!!!“.  I’d feel bad if I had to gouge his demon head out with my hands though, and have his slimy insides get all over me while my Mom laughed in the background.  But yeah, that scene still creeps me out and the movie as a whole (even though some of it hasn’t aged well) still is as enjoyable as it was for me back in 1987.  Could this possibly be ready for a remake or reboot?  I’m looking at you Stephen Dorff.  You don’t really have anything going on.

Great Moments In Horror Hair History: Samantha’s Hair From ‘Night Of The Comet’ (1984)

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(Sexy synthy 80’s music starts playing)  Alright guys, and some girls, it’s time to take a trip back to 1984’s campy classic Night Of The Comet.  And no, I’m not here to talk about the fact that this movie is still heavily underrated.  I’m here to talk sexy hair.  And not just any sexy hair.  I’m here to talk about THIS sexy hair!

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Hell yeah.  That right there is Kelli Maroney, who played Samantha in the movie and battled post-apocalyptic zombies with a machine gun.  If you haven’t seen Night Of The Comet, then hopefully that last sentence sold you on doing so.  I know I’m not alone at having a crush on Samantha in her pink and blue cheerleader outfit, but just try and focus on the hair for now.  It does look a little mangy, and I could see myself maybe getting my hand stuck in it – but you can’t deny that it’s glorious and about as 80’s as 80’s hair can get.   So because of that, it gives me great honor to induct Samantha into the class of Great Moments In Horror Hair History!  Now let’s direct our focus back onto the cheerleader outfit.

5 Things That Make ‘Night Of The Demons’ The Best Halloween Movie Ever!

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With October 31st approaching fast, everyone is getting ready to pick their favorite movie from the Halloween franchise to watch on Halloween night.  Is it going to be John Carpenter’s 1978 original?  Or maybe you’re in the mood for the Silver Shamrock jingle?  And what about the one with Busta Rhymes? Matter of fact, forget about all of those because the best Halloween-themed horror movie to watch on Halloween night involves lipstick and not a William Shatner mask from Star Trek.

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Yeah!!  Night Of The Demons is quite possibly (at least for me) the best Halloween-themed horror movie of all time.  Don’t get me wrong, I love Michael Myers and respect John Carpenter to death, but there’s just something about Night Of The Demons that puts it on top.  Actually, there are 5 things that put it on the top and here they are:

 

1.  The Lipstick Scene

How could this not be number one?  Now look – I know that I’m kind of taking the cheap way out and going with the weird gratuitous nudity scene right out the gate, but how could I not?  It was one thing to watch Linnea Quigley eroticly draw on her naked body with the pink lipstick, but then to make any magician proud – it disappears!  Into her nipple nonetheless.  Spoiler alert.

 

2.  The Soundtrack

Not only is the original soundtrack (composed by Dennis Michael Tenney) pure 80’s horror goodness, this movie has one of the best solo dance segments ever!  When Angela decides to dance to Bauhaus’ “Stigmata Martyr“, you can’t help but to be hypnotized………Don’t believe me?  Watch the clip below and find out:

 

3.  Stooge’s Hair

I remember watching Night Of The Demons when I was younger and actually wanting Stooge’s haircut.  Clearly there was something wrong with me, and I didn’t quite have enough to pull off a mullet, but looking back on it now – this might be my favorite 80’s movie haircut ever and it just adds to the overall feel of the movie.  Nothing says 80’s like a mullet with some lines and steps cut in on the sides of your hair.  Never has there been a better haircut for a movie character named Stooge.

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4.  This Movie Is So Fucking Fun! 

Few horror movies can really nail the whole ‘fun factor’, and Night Of The Demons is the exception.  Are you going to get Oscar nominated acting here? Nope.  But the dialogue is witty and clever and even though there are some creepy moments (Angela’s makeup and voice for one), the movie is the quintessential 80’s horror product that brings the fun.  Multiple viewings are usually a way to test the shelf life of a horror movie, and Night Of The Demons seems to get better with each viewing.  Oh – and there are quite a few pairs of boobs in it too to add to the ‘fun factor’.

 

5.  The Ending Is Perfect 

Growing up in a small Indiana town, I actually dealt with my fair share of cranky old people who hated Halloween and hated giving kids candy.  One guy used to give out rotten apples and chocolate covered crickets.  True story.  So at the end of Night Of The Demons, it always makes me smile to see that crabby old guy get his comeuppance when his ‘razor blades in the apple’ plan backfires.  Perfect way to end the movie and a perfect homage to Halloween in general.

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So there you have it.  If you haven’t seen Night Of The Demons (let me specify that I’m talking about the Kevin Tenney original from 1988, not the terrible remake), then do yourself a favor and watch it this year on Halloween. Scream Factory released a pretty amazing Blu-ray that has a great transfer and tons of extras a little while back.  And if you take your kids trick-or-treating this year, make sure to watch out for the cranky old guys with apples.

I Just Can’t Get Enough Of ‘The Stuff’ Fake Commericals!

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If I’m making a list of my favorite horror movies from the 80’s, then The Stuff is going to be high on that list.  Hey, don’t scoff at that!  The Stuff is quintessential viewing, especially if you’re high or if you’re a Garrett Morris fan. Now, I could go on and on about Chocolate Chip Charlie, but I want to focus on the fake commercials that were in the movie.  You really can’t go wrong with Abe Vigoda and the ‘Where’s The Beef?‘ lady, can you?

“Enough is never enough!  Enough is never enough!”  Oh sorry.  I got carried away with that catchy theme song.  Did you ever really wonder what The Stuff really tasted like by the way?  I always envisioned it to be a mixture of marshmallow fluff and toothpaste, which doesn’t sound entirely appetizing, but it could have been delicious.  And speaking of delicious, how about I take us out of this post with another fake commercial starring a woman who could possibly be a man or maybe inhaled a little too much helium before the shoot.

Sunday Bloody Sunday: ‘Carmen’s Transformation’ From ‘Demons’ (1985)

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If there was a Hall Of Fame for demon transformations, then Carmen from 1985’s Italian gore-galore classic Demons would have been inducted a looooong time ago.

So, on this week’s Sunday Bloody Sunday it’s a must that I pay homage to Carmen’s transformation and I’m even going to throw in a spiffy throat ripping at the end as a bonus!   When it comes to my love for Demons, there are many highlights (samurai sword demon killing on a motorcycle, anybody?) but I have to tip my cap to the glorious practical effects on display in this particular scene courtesy of the great Sergio Stivaletti.  Watch and learn youngsters, and please enjoy that lovely demon tongue of Carmen’s as well……..

Let’s Have Another Staring Contest…….

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Ugh.  It’s the old ‘take out my eyeballs to distract you’ tactic.  Keep focused. Don’t break your concentration.  Make her break hers……….Congrats!  You win!  Now slap those eyeballs out of her hand and give her a high five for a good staring contest match.

My Heavy Metal Horror Fix: Terry From ‘The Gate’ (1987)

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I woke up in a bit of a heavy metal mood this morning, so naturally I had to find one of the most heavy metal movie clips ever to satisfy my urge!

A bit overselling was going on there, but yes – nothing says heavy metal like Terry (Louis Tripp) from the 1987 horror movie aimed for kids, The Gate.  He really does love his Sacrifyx album and more specifically, he loves putting his rainbow-colored bedsheet on his head while he recites the spoken word of The Old Gods.  Might want to lose the rainbow-colored bedding if you want to keep your metal reputation intact, Terry.  There are a lot of things I love about The Gate and that scene is definitely one of them.  The other would be the one below that includes a creepy old zombie guy, a bunch of miniature demons, and a Barbie doll being used as a weapon.  Trifecta!

Ummmmmm: The Rocking Horse Scene From ‘Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II’ (1987)

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One of my favorite surprising horror sequels of all time is Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II from 1987.  It easily surpassed the original Prom Night in my opinion even though it didn’t have Leslie Nielsen, Jamie Lee Curtis in a bra, or a fantastic disco soundtrack.  The sequel had something that the original couldn’t even come close to though:  a horny rocking horse.

Yeah, that was pretty disturbing.  And I’m not talking about the old man make-out session.  Putting something like a horny rocking horse with a big tongue in a horror movie was pretty much the norm when it came to 80’s horror.  Which is yet another reason why I miss that era.  Sigh.  Thankfully, we have avenues like Youtube to relive those magical times.  It’s too bad the horny rocking horse didn’t ever get a spin-off movie.  It would have been tremendous.

Oh…..So They’re Remaking ‘The Blob’?

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Maybe my finger just isn’t on the pulse of horror as much as it should be, because I either completely forgot or didn’t realize that there was another remake of The Blob in the works.  Once attached to Rob Zombie (which would have been……interesting), it looks like director Simon West is going behind the camera to bring our favorite blobby killer to the big screen again.

I believe I’ve let it be known that I hold the 1988 remake of The Blob in the highest regard as far as horror remakes go.  It paid homage to the 1958 original and introduced some amazing practical make-up effects for it’s time (not including Kevin Dillon’s hair) that still hold up to this day.  Not sure that we really need another rendition or update to The Blob, but it looks as though Samuel L. Jackson will be our main star battling the reincarnated blob.

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Not a bad choice, but what troubles me is that director Simon West has said that ‘with modern CGI we can now fully realize the potential of The Blob‘. Granted there was some bad 80’s CGI in the 1988 version, but these days CGI is overused in a lot movies, including horror.  As long as those involved with this remake/reboot have fun with it and don’t make things too serious, we might be ok.  We’ll know more once a trailer pops up as far as what we’re dealing with though, so until then let’s enjoy all of the death scenes from the 1988 classic (yep, I’m calling it a classic):

Sunday Bloody Sunday: ‘Death By 2 X 4’ From ‘The Stepfather’ (1987)

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Move over Hacksaw Jim Duggan – you’re not the only one that knows how to swing a big piece of wood.  That didn’t quite sound right, but whatever.  Henry Morrison a.k.a. Jerry Blake a.k.a. The Stepfather sure loves swinging the ol’ 2 X 4, especially over a guy’s head!

On this week’s Sunday Bloody Sunday, I’m going back to 1987 where actor Terry O’Quinn played in my opinion, one of the best horror movie psychopaths ever.  And in this particular scene, his character of Jerry Blake doesn’t take too kindly to people snooping around in his business.  He has a very strict ‘No Snooping’ policy, and in this instance it involves slapping some lumber repeatedly over a nosy doctor’s head.  Enjoy the pummeling below, and if you haven’t seen this underrated gem, do yourself a favor and seek it out.