Oh come on now. That just isn’t fair at all.
Let’s Have Another Staring Contest…….
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Tag Archives: best 80’s horror movies
When Irons Attack: Dario Argento’s ‘Opera’ (1987)
Want to see a woman get hit square in the back by an iron from a homicidal killer in an Italian horror movie? Here ya go!
Hahaha! That’s funny. Until she dies a horrible death of course, which I’ll talk about in a minute. That clip is from Dario Argento’s underrated 1987 giallo film, Opera (aka Terror At The Opera). Soak it in folks, because this was Argento in his prime. And Opera is full of vintage Argento, especially the scene I eluded to involving the wardrobe seamstress Giulia getting back-smacked with the iron while Betty (interesting Italian horror movie name btw) is forced to watch her die with needles taped under her eyes. Good times!
Speaking of good times, Giulia accidentally swallows the bracelet that the killer is after while she’s dying. Let’s just say that when he shoves the shears down her throat to try and retrieve it (all to a killer metal soundtrack I might add), I was squirming in my seat. The good news for us, the viewer, is that he doesn’t succeed and has to cut through her throat to finally get back what he’s after, with effective sound effects to boot. Hooray! Watch the full scene below. It’s in Spanish btw – so my apologies if you don’t speak Spanish. Ay Dios Mio!
Ebay Find Of The Week: Rare ‘Return Of The Living Dead’ Standee
I know that I recently posted about a promotional standee for The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 that was for sale on Ebay, and there is no argument that it was pretty awesome. But today I found quite possibly THE promotional standee of ALL promotional standees on Ebay that will put that one to shame. Behold! The Return Of The Living Dead promotional standee!!!!
This sucker is very rare, people. So rare in fact that it comes with a very hefty $900 price tag (with a ‘make an offer’ option however). This movie is an all-time favorite of mine and I’ve always loved the artwork and the tagline “They’re back from the grave and ready to party!” too. So, imagine adding this piece of zombie flick memorabilia to your horror collection and impressing your friends in the process. Not many horror items on Ebay warrant a $900 price, but I have to admit that this standee might be worth it. If you’re feeling frisky and want to drop the cash, go over to the Ebay link HERE and grab it or make an offer now!
Required Halloween Viewing: The Funhouse (1981)
Sorry to burst your bubble Michael Myers, but you’re not the only required viewing on Halloween night. Granted, I’ll be watching my fair share of the Halloween franchise leading up to and on October 31st, but it’s not the only game in town that sets the mood for All Hallows’ Eve. Isn’t that right Tobe Hooper’s 1981 underrated slasher, The Funhouse?
Easily one of my favorite guilty horror pleasures ever, this movie screams Halloween night viewing. It even has an opening scene that pays homage to the 1978 John Carpenter classic! And it’s just as incestuous as well. But incest aside, The Funhouse is definitely fun. Sorry for my lazy writing, but it’s Monday so give me a break. I myself love the old school dark rides that you’d find at amusement parks and creepy small town carnivals, so I was immediately in just based off of that alone.
The Funhouse is definitely a slow burn horror movie, but while it’s burning you get rewarding things like: actor Kevin Conway taking on three separate roles, a big giant fat laughing lady that sits atop the funhouse attraction, a creepy Frankenstein mask wearing creature that has equally creepy make-up effects underneath that mask courtesy of legendary artist Rick Baker, and four stupid teens who think it’ll be ok to spend the night in a carnival ride.
At the end of the day, The Funhouse doesn’t reinvent anything when it comes to the horror genre, but in it’s own special way it separates itself from the slasher herd. The money shot doesn’t disappoint when The Monster reveals himself before strangling the big breasted fortune teller to death – and from there on out it really becomes a nifty little ‘cat and mouse’ game. A horror movie is usually only as good as it’s villain, and in The Funhouse the combo of The Monster and Funhouse Barker take on that role and satisfy those who watch in the process. So do yourself a favor this Halloween and give this ‘little slasher movie that could’ a shot. You could do a lot worse. Right, Halloween: Resurrection?
Today Is The Day That ‘The Blob’ Blu-ray Will Be Released…….
Cue up some annoying trumpets and the 2001: A Space Odyssey theme song. Today is a joyous day indeed. It’s the day that Twilight Time will be finally be releasing 1988’s The Blob remake on Blu-ray!
For those of you who don’t know, Twilght Time is a company that puts out limited edition versions of movies onto Blu-ray. In the past, they’ve released horror titles like Christine and Fright Night in quantities of only 3000 total. Bad news for those who couldn’t grab those, because they’re up on Ebay for upwards of $100. Now, for The Blob release – they’ve upped the number to 5000, so you’ve got a better shot to pick one up at cost. Do it quick though, because I suspect by tomorrow that they’ll be sold out. Head over to their site HERE today at 4:00 EST and snag one up. Word is it will be around $30 or so. Blob remake enthusiasts unite!
Sunday Bloody Sunday: ‘Death By Toy Soldiers’ From ‘Dolls’ (1987)
If you’ve ever had a fear of being killed by a bunch of little toy soldiers, I would leave the post now. Ok – you’ve been warned. And the reason I’m warning you is because on this week’s Sunday Bloody Sunday, I’m highlighting a death scene that involves psychotic little toy soldiers from Stuart Gordon’s 1987 amazing little horror film, Dolls.
Not much needs to be set up for this clip, other than knowing that a punk rock girl goes snooping around where she shouldn’t, and finds her eyeless friend (an iconic image that was incorporated on the original VHS cover) and a bunch of creepy-ass dolls. After she destroys a good majority of them, revealing their little skull faces under the porcelain – she encounters the toy soldiers. Don’t let their drum taps and harmless bugle fool you…..they’re pissed off.
Sunday Bloody Sunday: ‘Sink Death’ From ‘The Blob’ (1988)
One of the most annoying things in the world besides Taylor Swift, is a clogged up sink drain. Sure, sometimes Drano or a plunger can do the trick – but what happens when the backup is so bad that you’re close to dialing up the plumber to pay money for something you should be able to do yourself?
Welcome to Sunday Bloody Sunday and welcome to the worst drain blockage of all time. Hair? No. Broccoli florets? Nope. How about a murderous oozing blob that pretty much instantly kills you upon contact? Bingo! Yeah, I’m talking about the awesome 1988 remake of The Blob, and more specifically about one of the many equally awesome death scenes in the movie. Since we’re talking clogged up sinks, if you’ve seen the movie then you know where this is going. Click below and watch this poor bastard get sucked down a drain like a rag doll and celebrate the wonders of 80’s horror in the process:
Great Moments In Horror Hair History: Tawny Kitaen In ‘Witchboard’ (1986)
“In the still of the night I hear the wolf howl, honey – sniffin’ around your door!!!!!” Sorry, I had to get my quick Whitesnake karaoke fix in written form considering I’m about to do a story about Tawny Kitaen who was famous for sexing it up in their videos. We’re strictly talking hair here though, which in many ways can be equally as sexy. In 1986, Tawny and her ginger locks starred in Kevin Tenney’s underrated horror flick, Witchboard.
Breathtaking. When Tawny wasn’t fighting off the powers of an evil Ouija board in the movie, she was flaunting her 80’s hair around like nobody’s business. And what a mesmerizing mane it was. It’s not everyday that hair takes center stage over a murderous Ouija board, but in this case it did. And I for one, had no complaints at all. So with that being said, I can easily announce that Tawny Kitaen’s hair in Witchboard was a Great Moment In Horror Hair History! Now let’s reminisce and watch her have some fun on top of some automobiles.
It’s Random ‘Behind-The-Scenes’ Pic Time!
Creepshow make-up fun with Tom Savini and Ted Danson (1982)
Anticipation Alert: ‘Maniac Cop’ Remake
Very rare nowadays when a horror remake announcement gets me excited. But excitement is exactly what has happened with the news that William Lustig’s 1988 killer cop movie, Maniac Cop, is indeed officially getting the remake treatment.
So, why does this peek my interest exactly? The main reason being that it’s actually a film that could benefit from a reworking. I liken it to the re-imaging of My Bloody Valentine that came out in 2009. That movie paid homage to the 1981 original, and at the same time, kept it fresh and fun. Also exciting for this Maniac Cop remake is the fact that original director William Lustig will be involved in some way, as well as Nicolas Winding Refn (Drive, Vahalla Rising). Add all of that together and throw it in a blender, and I’m ready to see Officer Cordell tear some new shit up!
The biggest plus that I’ve heard however according to Screen Crush is that the Maniac Cop redo is being written by Ed Brubaker, who recently wrote Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Now all we need is Robert Z’Dar and his magnificent cranium to make a surprise guest appearance! Well, actually – that’s not all that we need. What we really need is an updated funky fresh new version of the “Maniac Cop Rap” that we were originally blessed with in 1990 in Maniac Cop 2. Peep the original funky freshness below if you don’t know what I’m talking about: