Educational Video Time: So You Want To Use A Box Cutter To Cut Off Your Arm? (Splinter – 2008)

Quick!  What’s one of the best ‘creature feature’ horror movies to come out in the last 10 years?  If you just shouted out Splinter, then you win!  You actually win nothing, except for some much needed self-esteem for the day possibly.  But yes, one of my favorite ‘creature feature’ movies in some time is Splinter, a 2008 offering that introduced us to actor Shea Whigham (Boardwalk Empire) and also introduced on how to cut off someone’s arm with a box cutter and cinder block.

To be completely honest, it takes a lot in a movie to make me wince like a child.  And this scene definitely makes me do that.  It could possibly be the sawing back and forth on the arm with the box cutter…..or possibly the final blow with the cinder block that gets to me. Either way, it’s an effective gross-out scene and one that deserves multiple viewings if you’re into torturing yourself.  This most likely did wonders for box cutter sales at Home Depot btw.

Required Halloween Viewing: Pumpkinhead (1988)

What’s the one thing that is most related to Halloween?  No, not creepy old men who hand out strange candy to kids…..I’m talking about pumpkins!  And what better movie to watch on Halloween night than a movie with the word pumpkin in it.  Sorry Charlie Brown, not talking about you, but about the 1988 Stan Winston directed creature feature:  Pumpkinhead.

I’ve always had a soft spot for this one, mostly due to Stan Winston’s amazing creature effects, but having Lance Henriksen in the movie doesn’t exactly hurt either.  For required viewing on Halloween night, Pumpkinhead is a must. Just the overall feel of the movie, especially when Pumpkinhead himself starts exacting revenge for Ed Harley (Henriksen), perfectly captures that old school horror vibe.  A simpler time before CGI ran rampant in every movie, it reminds me of the Universal Monster era and seems perfect to have on while you’re handing out candy to the little shits knocking at your door.  It’s ok…..I used to be one of those little shits.  So do yourself a favor and snatch Pumpkinhead off the shelf or off Netflix this Halloween and reminisce while sipping on some Pumpkin Ale this year!

*Visine:  It gets the red out, but not the pitchfork*