Quick! What’s your favorite Halloween-themed movie??? Put your hand down if you’re going to say Halloween. Or if you shouted, Trick ‘r Treat. Or if Ernest Scared Stupid is your destiny. The overwhelmingly obvious answer is The Pumpkin Karver! Ok, maybe not. But that was fun for a second.
Ah yes, The Pumpkin Karver. The 2006 gem of a movie that you can rent now on DVD through Netflix. Seriously though, why is Netflix still doing the DVD mail-in option? Just put that shit up to stream! My anger towards Netflix sidetracked me, but my love for good horror movies did not deter me from watching The Pumpkin Karver one time. Luckily, someone strung together some of the film’s best (and worst) scenes and bookended it with Ween’s “Where’d The Cheese Go” for some awesome reason. Click below and enjoy!
Upon sitting here thinking about what I could go as for Halloween this year, numerous options crossed my mind: Barf from Spaceballs, a zombiefied Lemmy Kilmister, or maybe a parrot? And then it hit me like a lightning bolt! Has anyone ever gone as Sammi Curr from the 1986 heavy metal horror flick Trick Or Treat? A quick Google search led me to no results. Could this be the holy grail of untouched Halloween costumes???
Oh this costume would be a piece of cake. Just head on down to the local S&M store to get some of the clothing accessories. Then rip a perfectly good black sheer shirt to shreds. Next, get an 80’s metal hair wig from literally any Halloween costume shop. And finally, add some burn make-up effects onto your face and chest, or if you really want to make it realistic – just burn yourself for real. It’ll heal up just fine. Now remember, I’m just thinking out loud here about my great Halloween costume idea, so none of you bastards better steal it! If I see a bunch of Sammi Currs running around LA this year, I swear I’ll lose my shit. Happy Halloween, everyone!
With October 31st approaching fast, everyone is getting ready to pick their favorite movie from the Halloween franchise to watch on Halloween night. Is it going to be John Carpenter’s 1978 original? Or maybe you’re in the mood for the Silver Shamrock jingle? And what about the one with Busta Rhymes? Matter of fact, forget about all of those because the best Halloween-themed horror movie to watch on Halloween night involves lipstick and not a William Shatner mask from Star Trek.
Yeah!! Night Of The Demons is quite possibly (at least for me) the best Halloween-themed horror movie of all time. Don’t get me wrong, I love Michael Myers and respect John Carpenter to death, but there’s just something about Night Of The Demons that puts it on top. Actually, there are 5 things that put it on the top and here they are:
1. The Lipstick Scene
How could this not be number one? Now look – I know that I’m kind of taking the cheap way out and going with the weird gratuitous nudity scene right out the gate, but how could I not? It was one thing to watch Linnea Quigley eroticly draw on her naked body with the pink lipstick, but then to make any magician proud – it disappears! Into her nipple nonetheless. Spoiler alert.
2. The Soundtrack
Not only is the original soundtrack (composed by Dennis Michael Tenney) pure 80’s horror goodness, this movie has one of the best solo dance segments ever! When Angela decides to dance to Bauhaus’ “Stigmata Martyr“, you can’t help but to be hypnotized………Don’t believe me? Watch the clip below and find out:
3. Stooge’s Hair
I remember watching Night Of The Demons when I was younger and actually wanting Stooge’s haircut. Clearly there was something wrong with me, and I didn’t quite have enough to pull off a mullet, but looking back on it now – this might be my favorite 80’s movie haircut ever and it just adds to the overall feel of the movie. Nothing says 80’s like a mullet with some lines and steps cut in on the sides of your hair. Never has there been a better haircut for a movie character named Stooge.
4. This Movie Is So Fucking Fun!
Few horror movies can really nail the whole ‘fun factor’, and Night Of The Demons is the exception. Are you going to get Oscar nominated acting here? Nope. But the dialogue is witty and clever and even though there are some creepy moments (Angela’s makeup and voice for one), the movie is the quintessential 80’s horror product that brings the fun. Multiple viewings are usually a way to test the shelf life of a horror movie, and Night Of The Demons seems to get better with each viewing. Oh – and there are quite a few pairs of boobs in it too to add to the ‘fun factor’.
5. The Ending Is Perfect
Growing up in a small Indiana town, I actually dealt with my fair share of cranky old people who hated Halloween and hated giving kids candy. One guy used to give out rotten apples and chocolate covered crickets. True story. So at the end of Night Of The Demons, it always makes me smile to see that crabby old guy get his comeuppance when his ‘razor blades in the apple’ plan backfires. Perfect way to end the movie and a perfect homage to Halloween in general.
So there you have it. If you haven’t seen Night Of The Demons (let me specify that I’m talking about the Kevin Tenney original from 1988, not the terrible remake), then do yourself a favor and watch it this year on Halloween. Scream Factory released a pretty amazing Blu-ray that has a great transfer and tons of extras a little while back. And if you take your kids trick-or-treating this year, make sure to watch out for the cranky old guys with apples.
Halloween is only three months away, and I’m already getting all of my ‘required viewing’ horror movies lined up to start the celebration. In 2007, the ridiculously good anthology flick Trick ‘r Treat came busting onto the scene and has earned a right into that ‘required viewing’ category. And speaking of Halloween anthology movies, I’m pretty excited this year because a new one called Tales Of Halloween is coming out on October 16th (limited theaters and VOD), and if the trailer below is any indication – we’re in for a fun ride:
Early word and buzz on this is that it’s as fun as the trailer looks. Comprised of 10 short stories each done by a different director that intertwine throughout, Tales Of Halloween looks to be exactly what we need to cure our Halloween movie blues. And the fact that there are some of your favorite horror actors, actresses, and directors involved only sweetens the deal. Who you ask? How about Neil Marshall, Darren Lynn Bousman, Lucky McKee, Lin Shaye, Adrienne Barbeau, John Landis, and Barbara Crampton to name a few. So get ready for Tales Of Halloween hitting select theaters on October 16th and you will also have the option to relax in your own home and check it out on VOD.
Rejoice! It was recently announced by director Michael Dougherty that there will be a follow up sequel to 2007’s excellent horror anthology, Trick ‘r Treat. Only problem is that it won’t be coming out until 2018. Kidding! That’s a joke based on the fact that the original was delayed for so long and sat on a dusty shelf for no reason. Bottom line: I can’t wait for Trick ‘r Treat 2!
*The trick is to carve it while you’re wearing a shirt and tie*
Being that Michael Myers doesn’t look to be hitting any movie screens in the foreseeable future, we need our Halloween fix and Trick ‘r Treat 2 is exactly what I need in my veins. Drug references are fun. The original blew me away and it’s become a staple viewing in the Dirty Horror household every October 31st. And based on the fact that there were literally no horror movies out in theaters this year for Halloween (sorry, Carrie doesn’t even count in my book), they need to release the sequel during Halloween next year and IN THEATERS! Yes, one of the biggest crimes that befell Trick ‘r Treat was that it didn’t make it into theaters.
*That’s what she gets for mouthing off. It’s a pun!*
Now the studio can right a wrong this time and get this sucker into theaters and actually support a movie that celebrates Halloween. Question is, what themes will be around this time? Well, director Michael Dougherty just announced that he hopes to deal with the topic of witches this time out. Fair enough. But maybe some other Halloween traditions can get some shine in the sequel too. How about bobbing for apples? Smelly feet? Poisonous candy corn? Whatever the focus is, we know that little Sam will be intertwined throughout to tie the stories together. Love that little nasty guy.
*Who’s got the best pajamas in town? You do!*
I just pray that this sequel doesn’t lag in the preliminary stages. We need Trick ‘r Treat 2 by next Halloween! Until then, we’ll settle for the original and if we get really desperate, we’ll watch Busta Rhymes karate kick Michael Myers for some Halloween time enjoyment.
What’s the one thing that is most related to Halloween? No, not creepy old men who hand out strange candy to kids…..I’m talking about pumpkins! And what better movie to watch on Halloween night than a movie with the word pumpkin in it. Sorry Charlie Brown, not talking about you, but about the 1988 Stan Winston directed creature feature: Pumpkinhead.
I’ve always had a soft spot for this one, mostly due to Stan Winston’s amazing creature effects, but having Lance Henriksen in the movie doesn’t exactly hurt either. For required viewing on Halloween night, Pumpkinhead is a must. Just the overall feel of the movie, especially when Pumpkinhead himself starts exacting revenge for Ed Harley (Henriksen), perfectly captures that old school horror vibe. A simpler time before CGI ran rampant in every movie, it reminds me of the Universal Monster era and seems perfect to have on while you’re handing out candy to the little shits knocking at your door. It’s ok…..I used to be one of those little shits. So do yourself a favor and snatch Pumpkinhead off the shelf or off Netflix this Halloween and reminisce while sipping on some Pumpkin Ale this year!
*Visine: It gets the red out, but not the pitchfork*
Throughout the next few weeks, I’ll be giving you some of my personal required Halloween time horror movie viewings. Bear in mind, this would obviously be in addition to the standards like John Carpenter’s original Halloween and the newest flick that celebrates All Hallow’s Eve in the right way, Trick ‘r Treat. Speaking of anthology movies, let’s talk about what I consider to be the Granddaddy of them all: Creepshow.
Let me set a vivid scenario for you: I’m a young Indiana boy getting home after a pretty successful night of trick or treating, as I dump all of my candy out on the table so Mom & Dad can check and make sure there aren’t any hidden razor blades in the mix.
Side story by the way: I had a crazy old guy in my neighborhood growing up that used to try and give chocolate covered grasshoppers to kids instead of candy.
But back to the vivid scenario: As kids are still knocking on our door asking my parents to smell their feet or something, I hear a garbled voice coming from the TV saying “Where’s my cake??”. My eyes fixate on the screen, the colors popping off in true comic book style form, and I realize that I’m having my first experience with Creepshow.
Creepshow doesn’t have any specific Halloween themes other than a pumpkin in the window during the intro. There are zombies, a monster in a crate, and a bunch of cockroaches – but none have anything to really do with October 31st. It feels like a bigger Halloween movie though. It’s fun, scary, it’s just one of those movies that should be either viewed or playing in the background on Halloween night. And just because there isn’t someone running around in a white William Shatner mask, doesn’t mean that Creepshow can’t earn it’s rightful place in required Halloween time viewing slots.
This movie will always hold a special place in my horror heart for numerous reasons, but I’ll never forget my first time with it. I was gentle, but not too gentle, and when it was all said and done, I wanted to come back for more. I’m talking about Creepshow in case you forgot. So when you get ready for your overaged trick or treaters this Halloween or just want to add something new to your movie marathon, don’t forget about the little slice of horror love from 1982, Creepshow. Now dance for us Ed Harris!