You know, I was just talking to my friend the other day and told him that there is an extreme shortage of semen-filled turkey basters in horror movies nowadays. Luckily for me, I can go back and revisit the solid 2016 horror/thriller flick Don’t Breathe to get my fix.
For those of you who have not seen Don’t Breathe since it’s release two years ago, I guess I kind of sort of already spoiled the fact that there’s a semen-filled turkey baster scene. But not just any semen-filled turkey baster scene……THE semen-filled turkey baster scene! Now watch below as Rocky (Jane Levy) gets her revenge with a (you guessed it) turkey baster.
Now the first thing that comes to mind besides mouthwash after I watch that clip, is how fucking good this movie was. To me, Don’t Breathe lived up to the hype even though it’s not technically a full-blown horror movie. A sequel seems to be coming, but if you ask me they should just leave it alone. And speaking of coming, I do wonder if another turkey baster will make it’s way onto the big screen when the sequel does hit. We can only dream.
Dildos! Anal beads! Chainsaws! If that doesn’t get your attention, then I don’t know what the hell will. But enough about my personal life, let’s also talk about the movie Deathgasm and why it’s one of the best horror movies in years. And yeah, it has some dildos in it that are used as weapons against some demons too.
Welcome to Monday Bloody Monday where I am indeed showcasing the scene in Deathgasm where our heroes Zakk and Brodie take on some nasty demons with some rather large dildos, followed promptly by a rather large chainsaw. Guarantee you haven’t really seen anything like this – so be forewarned before clicking ‘Play’ below. And don’t watch it at work. Most companies have a ‘no dildo‘ policy.
The Russian roulette moment in The Deer Hunter. Luke finding out that Darth Vadar is his father in The Empire Strikes Back. The Mrs. Robinson leg shot in The Graduate. All of those scenes suck compared to one of the greatest scenes in movie history. That’s right, all of you other inferior cinematic moments bow down to your master: Leslie’s exploding head from Chopping Mall!
I’m going to tease you a little more before you can watch the clip. Actually, I guess you could just scroll down and ignore what I have to say and watch it anyway. But yes, Chopping Mall (also known as Killbots) is about as 80’s of a horror movie as 80’s horror movies can get. Stupid plot. Stupid characters. Stupid non-scary mall robots. And some breasts. But what gives Chopping Mall a leg up on every other horror movie, is it’s amazing exploding head scene. And it’s a perfect addition to the Sunday Bloody Sunday roster. Words can’t describe it, so why try. Click below and realize that after you watch it, your life has just officially changed:
Have you ever thought what would happen if you and five of your co-workers were strapped to a rusty revolving carousel while your boss had to make a decision to save two of you and blast the other four with a shotgun to your chest? You haven’t? You should, because it’s happening everyday (not really) and it happened in 2009’s Saw VI. And that very scene is up to bat on this week’s Sunday Bloody Sunday.
Saw VI is actually a Saw sequel that I can get down with. I dug the story here for the most part, which takes aim at health insurance: something that a lot of us have strong opinions on nowadays. Which makes the plot of Saw VI and most notably, the carousel scene, all the more intense as a health insurance executive has six of his employees beg for their lives as they throw each other under a lot of busses in the process. Our fearless executive can save two. And four have to go. Watch below to see what happens, and maybe this will wet your appetite for the new Saw sequel that will most likely be coming next year: