Monday Bloody Monday: ‘Exploding Sex’ From ‘Frankenhooker’ (1990)

Picking a good scene from Frankenhooker is like trying to choose a pie at Baker’s Square…..there’s just too many good ones to choose from!  And yes, I just actually got a Baker’s Square reference into a post.

Welcome to Monday Bloody Monday where I am indeed going to choose a scene from Frank Henenlotter’s 1990 horror comedy Frankenhooker.  Haven’t seen Frankenhooker by the way?  Then I should make you do the walk of shame like Cersei in Game Of Thrones.  Now I really wanted to put up the the scene where all of the hookers explode simultaneously, but Youtube isn’t cooperating.  So instead, I’ll throw you the scene where the creepy older guy looking for paid sex gets more than he bargained for.  He did look happy in the end though, so that’s all that matters.

Sunday Bloody Sunday: ‘Water Park Massacre’ From ‘Piranha’ (1978)

Woo hoo!  Summertime is here and what better way to beat the heat than by going to your local beach or water park to relax and unwind.  Maybe even go old school and get in an inner tube and float around the refreshing water.  Oh – what’s that nibbling at your toes?  Probably just some bloodthirsty piranha that want to eat you.  Nothing to worry about.

On this week’s Sunday Bloody Sunday, I am going back to 1978 for director Joe Dante’s highly enjoyable Jaws parody about killer piranha fish aptly called: Piranha.  And one of the best scenes, that was ramped up to a great gory glorious spectacle in Alexandre Aja’s 2010 remake, is the water park scene where no one is safe.  Adults, kids, and even sand castles.  You know it’s bad news when sand castles are being destroyed amidst the chaos of flesh-chomping piranha.  Watch the clip below and enjoy!

Sunday Bloody Sunday: ‘Holly’s Death’ From ‘The Descent’ (2005)

For a horror film to make me jump numerous times AND make me uneasy while watching it is a giant feat to say the least.  That’s what 2005’s claustrophobic cave dweller horror movie The Descent did for me.  I’ve been wanting to write more about this movie on my site, so what better way to kick it off than with a tense little scene where a hobbled female spelunker gets a nasty chunk bitten out of her neck.

On this week’s Sunday Bloody Sunday as I previously stated, I’m showing some love to The Descent.  More specifically, the scene where Holly finally meets her demise (after suffering a gnarly broken leg) at the hands and teeth of a cave creature.  Watching this clip makes me want to re-watch the movie, especially since no matter how many times I watch it I still seem to jump at this scene when the creature appears.  Watch and enjoy!

Sunday Bloody Sunday: ‘Crotch Kill’ From ‘The Mutilator’ (1985)

Sometimes, a horror movie can be so amazing….so groundbreaking….so instrumental in shaping the course of mankind….that it will leave you in awe after witnessing it.  The Mutilator unfortunately is not one of those horror movies.  But it has a ‘death by hook to the female crotch’ kill, so it ain’t all bad!

Welcome to this week’s Sunday Bloody Sunday where I’m shining a little light on a slasher flick from 1985 that isn’t that well known, but is loved by those who have seen it.  As much as you can love a bad horror movie I guess.  The Mutilator isn’t good – but it did have a kick ass movie poster (look it up if you haven’t seen it), a killer tagline (By sword, by pick, by ax, bye bye…), a not-so killer theme song, and the aforementioned ‘death by hook to the female crotch’ death scene.  Click below if you’re curious, and if you’re feeling really adventurous – then click on the second link that contains the opening credits and theme song:

Sunday Bloody Sunday: ‘The Torture Scene’ From ‘Audition’ (1999)

Men, don’t piss off any women in your life.  And if you don’t want to heed my warning, then you obviously haven’t seen Audition.  That’s right – Audition – the 1999 Japanese horror film that will make even the strongest man cringe, as you watch a poor widower of 7 years fuck with the wrong girl.

So on this week’s Sunday Bloody Sunday, I’m giving you a sneak peek into the world of Audition, with probably it’s most popular and cringe-inducing scene.  If you’ve seen this movie, then by all means reminisce and click the link below.  If you haven’t seen it, I might suggest watching the whole film ASAP.  It’s up for interpretation as far as what’s real and what isn’t, but damn it sure is fun to watch Asami have so much fun torturing Aoyama and gleefully toss his left foot aside.  She’s quite the acupuncturist as well!

Dirty Horror Presents: “Bastaaaaaaaaaard!!!”

Few actresses have ever shown their range and thespian abilities like Lynda Day George in the 1982 slasher movie, Pieces.  Such poise.  Such grace. Such gratuitous over-acting.  All of this adds up to one of the best moments in horror movie history.  Strap yourselves in and prepare yourself for: “Bastaaaaaaaaaard!!!

Are you taking notes, Meryl Streep?  You damn well better be.  Lynda Day George took that to another level and we’re all better people for it.  You want to know the sad thing about that clip though?  It’s not even the best part in the movie.  Pieces is in another realm when it comes to bad horror, and I mean that in the most endearing way possible.  Unfortunately, the Blu-ray gods have yet to release this craptastic masterpiece, which is a god damn tragedy.  Seek it out on DVD if you can, and maybe you can surprise that horror movie lover in your life for the holidays!

piecesdude

Holy Sh*t Horror: The Opening Scene From ‘The Descent’ (2005)

In 2005, director Neil Marshall blew my mind with his jump-scare heavy creature feature, The Descent.  And he didn’t waste any time getting us hooked because in the scene I’m highlighting for this edition of Holy Sh*t Horror, the opening credits haven’t even ended yet before the insanity begins and you’re left with your mouth open.  Don’t drool though, because that’s gross.

Now, if this clip below isn’t a PSA to make sure you keep your eyes on the road while you’re driving, I don’t what is.  It’s also a PSA about what can happen to you if karma catches you cheating on your wife.

Holy shit!

Sunday Bloody Sunday: Barb Wire Death From ‘Suspiria’ (1977)

Note to selfIf I’m ever running away from someone that I might think is a killer and I climb up top to a window and proceed to go through it – I need to check below and observe is there is a massive amount of barb wire before jumping down.

Seems like common sense, but not quite the case for Sarah in 1977’s personal classic of mine, Suspiria.  There are a lot of things I love about this movie (the colors, the music, the blind guy) but I can’t help but laugh every time I watch Sarah plunge to her imminent ‘barb wire death’.  I think what makes it so comical is the fact that there is SO much of the barb wire on the ground when she jumps down.  Could she seriously not see any of it?  But whatever the case, it’s a scene that is more than worthy of being on this week’s Sunday Bloody Sunday:

Thank God For Grandpa Chapman From ‘Silent Night, Deadly Night’ (1984)

There have been many scene stealers throughout the history of cinema. Daniel Day Lewis in Gangs Of New York.   Anthony Hopkins in Silence Of The Lambs.  And of course, the crazy nursing home Grandpa from Silent Night Deadly Night.  And what Christmas Eve would be complete without Grandpa Chapman’s warning to a young Billy Chapman about Santa Claus?

Yeah.  F*ck hearing Twas The Night Before Christmas…..I’ll take the old man’s bat shit crazy rant over that any day.  So, Merry Christmas Eve everybody and just remember to heed Grandpa Chapman’s words of wisdom this season.  If you see Santa Claus, you better run.  If you’ve been naughty, you better run faster.  And if you see Grandpa Chapman, I’d keep young kids away from him for obvious reasons.

*What do you mean I smell like cough drops and Ben-Gay?*