Let’s Watch 10 Minutes Of Scissorman From The ‘Clock Tower’ Video Game…….

One of the most frustrating and equally terrifying video games experiences I ever had was when I would sit down and play Clock Tower on my Playstation.  Inspired by Dario Argento films (and you can tell by the dialogue and music alone), Clock Tower made me throw my Playstation controller against the wall numerous times (sorry, wall) – but also made me sweat and nearly pee my pants as well (sorry for the gross visual).

Well, someone was nice enough to put up about 10 minutes of some gameplay from Clock Tower involving our favorite Scissorman stalking his prey.  I’ll admit, the constant clanking of the giant scissors got on my nerves, but the overall stalking element always won me over.

Ok, so from watching that footage – I concluded that:

–  You can fight off a guy holding massive killer sheers with a sheet, umbrella, and a fire extinguisher.  

–  This game has a lot of vomiting. 

–  Don’t hide under a bed from the Scissorman. 

–  The security guard voice over at the beginning is some of the best around. 

–  The scissor clanking is still annoying. 

Give Me The Creeps: The First Zombie In The ‘Resident Evil’ Video Game (1996)

I can still remember the first time that I played Resident Evil on my Playstation in 1996. The lights were low, the mood was set, I had a bowl of Cheetos to accompany me in my journey, and I popped the disc in and let the game load up.  And I waited.  And waited. And waited some more.  It took a while to load up because that’s how things were back then.  Then the opening title card popped up with a little blood splatter and a booming voice that said “Resident Evil………“.  Being a big horror fan, this was one of the first horror-themed video games that I had played and I was ready!  I chose my character ( I usually chose Jill) and I was off on a funky Resident Evil adventure.  I spouted some terrible dialogue in the game to my comrades Albert and Chris and then I came upon my first zombie and this happened………

I mean sure, I interrupted him during the eating of his meal, but did he seriously have to eye-fuck me that hard?  Needless to say, I may or may not have shit my pants when I saw this and experienced it for the first time.  It’s a classic scene as far as survival horror games go, and an innovator as far as creepy ass scenes go.  And this scene is why I get soooooooo frustrated with the Resident Evil movies.  How many have they had now, like 6?  And they still can’t get the feel of the game right in any of them.  For shame.  But never mind that noise, that first zombie in the original first Resident Evil game will forever give me the creeps.  And it taught me the ever important lesson of never interrupting a zombie while he’s enjoying his meal………

Dirty Horror Memory Lane: ‘Chiller’ Video Game (1986)

Boy am I a sucker.  While I was slaving away at playing The Legend Of Zelda in 1986 as a 10-year-old kid, I could have been playing this:


Yes.  That’s an actual screenshot of a video game that came out in 1986 called Chiller.  Granted, this was not really an easy game to find, especially in North America, but it originated as a stand-up arcade game with a light gun that you used to apparently shoot and torture half-naked people. Really makes the story of Link and his quest to find the eight fragments of the Triforce Of Wisdom to rescue Princess Zelda look pretty fucking boring, doesn’t it?

Chiller wasn’t all about shooting mutilated bodies though, as you could also take out bats, wolves, and spooky skulls with your trusty light gun.  It’s good to balance everything out.  There was actually a playable Nintendo version of the game that was released in 1990 with the gore and naked bodies toned down of course to comply with the wholesome image Nintendo was trying to portray at the time.  If you own a copy of the NES version, you’re sitting on a $75-$200 gold mine by the way.  The mere fact that Chiller was originally released in 1986 with that kind of gory content is still pretty remarkable.  Check out the footage for yourself and head on over to Ebay to do some bargain hunting for a copy when you’re done:

Ebay Find Of The Week: ‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ Atari Video Game

I honestly never thought I would be doing a post about an Atari video game that costs $500.  But here we go!  Not just any Atari video game though – but The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Atari video game:

$_57I was actually surprised that the price was so high for this.  Not because it’s an old video game, but because it’s a shitty old video game.  Pretty much the best thing about it is the cover with the Columbo-looking guy hunting down Leatherface and the fact that Leatherface’s chainsaw in the game looks the cross between a faucet and a penis.  Nevermind the $500 price tag, if you are the hardcore horror collector, this is a must to own.  Go check out the listing on Ebay over HERE and make sure to check out some of the awesomely bad footage from the game down below:

Dirty Horror Memory Lane: ‘Fright Night’ Video Game (1988)

Dammit.  I knew I should have owned a Commodore Amiga 500 back in the 80’s.  And if you were one of the 10 people that actually did own one of these 16/32-bit computer systems, you could have been playing the Fright Night video game!

Yes, that’s right.  There was a video game based on the 1985 vampire classic, Fright Night.  Had no clue until today.  And not only was there a game based on the movie, you actually got to play as Jerry Dandridge!  Not Charlie Brewster.  Not Peter Vincent, the fearless the vampire killer.  Although, playing as Mr. Vincent would have been equally as awesome.

From what I can tell of the gameplay I’ve watched, you literally just run around as Jerry Dandridge, dodging crosses and chomping on people’s necks until they disappear.  Seems repetitive, but we’re talking the 80’s here and everything was repetitive back then.  Still, it’s pretty cool that this game even existed.

Now had they based a video game off of the Fright Night remake that recently came out, you probably would have just literally been looking at a pile of shit on your screen the whole time.  That means I didn’t like the remake for those of you playing at home.  But check out the gameplay below for the original Fright Night game and run over to Ebay and start bidding on one of those Commodore Amiga 500s!