I Just Can’t Get Enough Of ‘The Stuff’ Fake Commericals!

If I’m making a list of my favorite horror movies from the 80’s, then The Stuff is going to be high on that list.  Hey, don’t scoff at that!  The Stuff is quintessential viewing, especially if you’re high or if you’re a Garrett Morris fan. Now, I could go on and on about Chocolate Chip Charlie, but I want to focus on the fake commercials that were in the movie.  You really can’t go wrong with Abe Vigoda and the ‘Where’s The Beef?‘ lady, can you?

Enough is never enough!  Enough is never enough!”  Oh sorry.  I got carried away with that catchy theme song.  Did you ever really wonder what The Stuff really tasted like by the way?  I always envisioned it to be a mixture of marshmallow fluff and toothpaste, which doesn’t sound entirely appetizing, but it could have been delicious.  And speaking of delicious, how about I take us out of this post with another fake commercial starring a woman who could possibly be a man or maybe inhaled a little too much helium before the shoot.

Worst Fights In Horror History: Wishmaster 4: The Prophecy Fulfilled (2002)

Sometimes it’s amazing to know that certain things in the world actually exist. For instance – did you know that a motorized ice cream cone exists?  If you didn’t, then please feel free to Google it and have your mind blown.  And did you also know that four (yes, I said four) Wishmaster horror movies exist? Yeah, if your mind wasn’t blown by the motorized ice cream cone, then it surely is now.

Thanks to my friend alcohol, I was able to finally sit down and watch the 4th installment in the Wishmaster franchise, and I have to say that it was as gloriously bad as I had hoped.  Our favorite wish-granting demon Djinn is back and this time he wants to fall in love.  Awwwwww.  But before he tries to seal the deal with a lucky lady, he has to have an epic fight in an alleyway with a meathead bouncer.

Well that was…..pretty awful.  Can we talk for a minute about how we see Djinn literally smash the bouncer’s hand apart and then in the next shot, his hand is completely intact?  Continuity is for suckers.  And my boy Djinn should have gone to some voice-acting classes.  He doesn’t sound very menacing, especially when he’s having a monologue with the now deceased bouncer about what day they pick up the trash.  Speaking of which, gotta love how the bouncer just “floated” over to the dumpster so conveniently and being impaled by a pipe.  It’s all in good cheesy Direct-to-DVD fun though, and Wishmaster 4 definitely delivered the goofy goods and also delivered one of the worst fight scenes in horror history.  What’s that?  You wish to see that clip again?  GRANTED!

Sunday Bloody Sunday: ‘Belial Gets Busy’ From ‘Basket Case’ (1982)

As far as Siamese twin horror movies go, Basket Case is on the top of the list.  It’s a short list that pretty much only contains Basket Case, but that’s nothing to sneeze at and is an accomplishment nonetheless.

So on this week’s Sunday Bloody Sunday, it only feels right to give some shine to Belial, our favorite little monstrosity that lives in a wicker basket that his brother Duane carries around in the 1982 horror/comedy Basket Case.  Only problem is that from time to time, Belial likes to hop out of his basket and play.  His version of playing is carving you up with his fingernails and then tearing your insides out to round out the fun.  He’s quite a character!  Case in point – the clip below:

Sunday Bloody Sunday: ‘Creepy Clown Attack’ From ‘Ghoulies’ (1985)

Nothing says a fun Saturday night like watching Ghoulies.  Yeah, I said Ghoulies.  I live a depressing life, but that’s not the focus here.  The focus is on the fact that Ghoulies actually has a few good parts in it and isn’t just a clever poster with a slimy bald green monster popping up out of the toilet with the equally clever tagline “They’ll Get You In The End!” attached.

On this week’s Sunday Bloody Sunday, I’m spotlighting one of my favorite and creepiest scenes from 1985’s Ghoulies and of course it involves a clown because I don’t like clowns.  Actually, this is more of a clown/jester hybrid that ends up being a green sharp-toothed monster underneath.  No, it doesn’t make any sense, but it sure is fun to watch!

Sunday Bloody Sunday ‘The Easter Edition’: Night Of The Lepus (1972)

What better way to celebrate Easter than with a cheesy 1972 horror movie about giant killer bunny rabbits?  Sigh – I know…..it’s such a shame that we don’t have a definitive horror movie based around Easter.  It would seem to be so easy considering all of the creepy old timey Easter Bunny pics that you can find on the internet.  But alas, all we really have is a flick about huge mutant rabbits.

Welcome to Sunday Bloody Sunday, where I’m going full on B-movie this week with the 1972 ridiculousness called Night Of The Lepus.  Someone was kind enough to string together some of the best scenes from it on Youtube, so please take a break from eating your marshmallow Peeps and watch it below. Fun fact btw:  This movie was rated PG.  Keep that in mind while you view the bloody bunny carnage in the clip.

VHS Horror Movies I Wanted To Rent, But Never Did: Redneck Zombies (1987)

I grew up in a small farm town in Indiana.  For those of you who don’t know, Indiana is a Midwestern state with a lot of cornfields and rednecks.  Oh – and Larry Bird has a car dealership there somewhere too.  So naturally since I’m from an area that’s known to have redneck or two, a young boy who loved horror movies like me would obviously gravitate towards a movie called Redneck Zombies at my local video store, right?

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They’re Tobacco Chewin’, Gut Chompin’, Cannibal Kinfolk From Hell!”  With a tagline like that, how the hell did I never rent this?!?  Not only that, but this rare gift was given to us by none other than Troma Entertainment.  Now, I very much enjoyed The Toxic Avenger in 1984, so what made me pass up renting Redneck Zombies back when I was obsessed with renting horror movies?  I wish I had a simple answer my friends.  I guess I was too busy watching Chopping Mall for the tenth time.

I think it’s finally time though….finally time to raise above the skepticism that I hold and sit down and give Redneck Zombies the viewing it so deserves.  I’ll take baby steps first and watch this clip up on Youtube where the word ‘bodacious’ is used to the best of it’s word ability:

Ebay Find Of The Week: ‘Jack Frost 2: Revenge Of The Mutant Killer Snowman’

The day is finally here!  It’s the day where I post something up about Jack Frost 2: Revenge Of The Killer Snowman.  Yes, as if one killer snowman movie wasn’t enough – in the year 2000 they done went and made a sequel. And it was equally as terrible as the first.  Congrats on that.  But this is about Ebay horror finds of the week, so feast your eyes upon this!

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Awwwww yeah!  Those are exactly what you think they are.  Replicas of the little killer snowmen from Jack Frost 2!  And someone is selling them on Ebay for $25 and they’re made to order.  And you can get them bloody or non-bloody, so it’s all about choices.  The best part of this listing, besides the fact that these are actually real, is the title the seller used:  jason jack frost 2 freddy myers mask horror prop bust dvd bluray movie snowman.  It’s almost as if he has a severe case of Ebay ADD and just starting typing random horror terms.  Whatever the case, you can purchase one HERE if you want – and if you need more convincing, feel free to check out the trailer below for Jack Frost 2: Revenge Of The Killer Snowman:

Give Me The Creeps: The Food Of The Gods (1976)

I grew up with a pretty extreme fear of giant rats and chickens.  Clearly that sounds ridiculous, but try telling that to a 7-year-old boy who watched 1976’s The Food Of The Gods on public television one Saturday afternoon.    Continue reading

Horror Movie Posters I Love: Blood Beach (1980)

I’ve always been a bit scared of going into the ocean and I guess I have Jaws to thank for most of that fear.  Truth be told though, I think I’m more scared of jellyfish.  But what about the sand????  What if something besides crabs lurked in the sand????  Newsflash in case you didn’t know, but in 1980 there was a movie called Blood Beach that explored that very thought.  It’s a ‘so crappy, so good’ type of movie, but boy oh boy – what a poster it had!

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She’s really selling that ‘Oh my god I’m being swallowed into the sand!‘ expression, isn’t she?  Kudos on the Jaws-biting tagline btw.  This was at the beginning of the booming 80’s horror craze where basically anything went. Including killer sand apparently.  Gotta love it though, and I absolutely LOVE this poster!  It embodies everything that was great about 80’s horror movies and it definitely catches your eye for more than one reason.  That’s a pretty snazzy purple leopard-print bikini by the way.  Go seek out Blood Beach if you haven’t seen it (screen vets John Saxon and Burt Young are involved), and I apologize if I’ve given you Eremikophobia.  That’s the fear of sand – see, you learned something from this post.

Sunday Bloody Sunday: ‘Sink Death’ From ‘The Blob’ (1988)

One of the most annoying things in the world besides Taylor Swift, is a clogged up sink drain.  Sure, sometimes Drano or a plunger can do the trick – but what happens when the backup is so bad that you’re close to dialing up the plumber to pay money for something you should be able to do yourself?

Welcome to Sunday Bloody Sunday and welcome to the worst drain blockage of all time.  Hair?  No.  Broccoli florets?  Nope.  How about a murderous oozing blob that pretty much instantly kills you upon contact?  Bingo!  Yeah, I’m talking about the awesome 1988 remake of The Blob, and more specifically about one of the many equally awesome death scenes in the movie.  Since we’re talking clogged up sinks, if you’ve seen the movie then you know where this is going.   Click below and watch this poor bastard get sucked down a drain like a rag doll and celebrate the wonders of 80’s horror in the process: