Monday Bloody Monday: The Ending From ‘The Neon Demon’ (2016)

Nothing gets me going more than some gorgeous gore in a horror movie.  And I guess that ‘gorgeous’ could definitely be a word used to describe Nicolas Winding Refn’s odd little movie The Neon Demon.  The women are gorgeous.  The style of the film is gorgeous.  And the scene where a model vomits up an eyeball is…..you guessed it – gorgeous!

Welcome to Monday Bloody Monday, where I must warn you that the following clip has spoilers galore if you haven’t seen The Neon Demon.  Not that it would really matter much, since even if you have seen the movie you probably don’t know what the hell is going on anyway.  I dug this movie more than I thought I would though.  Some will call it artsy crap.  Others will praise the ambition of it.  The clip below of the ending pretty much sums up The Neon Demon at it’s best, and might make you rethink ever wanting to eat an eyeball.

Sunday Bloody Sunday: ‘Penis Toss’ From ‘Street Trash’ (1987)

**WARNING – THE FOLLOWING POST CONTAINS A CLIP WITH NUMEROUS SEVERED PENIS SHOTS AND BAD ACTING**

Severed penises are never a laughing matter and continue to plague men across the world every year.  One of the most famous cases of this terrible occurrence happened in 1987 somewhere in a remote junk yard where a homeless man was just trying to take a leak when he suddenly had his manhood literally taken from him.  And after it was taken, it was tossed around like a football and to add insult to the injury, it was accompanied by goofy music.  Luckily we have video proof of this, but please be warned that it’s not for the squeamish:

So why did the severed penis miraculously change colors, mostly between grey and yellow, while it was being tossed to and fro?  I’m no doctor, but that doesn’t seem like a healthy severed penis.  And it was pretty remarkable that the victim wasn’t bleeding out after the initial cutting.  Yes, the infamous dick toss scene from 1987’s Street Trash made a rare appearance on Sunday Bloody Sunday and the world is a better place because of it.  Guard your jewels fellas, or you too could be a spectator at your very own penis tossing extravaganza.

Holy Shit Horror: The Opening Scene In ’28 Weeks Later’ (2007)

I’m not sure if the makers of 28 Weeks Later ever thought about giving away some promotional diapers at their screenings, because some of us could have used them during that opening scene.  No, I didn’t poop my pants everybody….but I do recall saying “Holy Shit!” after the 8 minute introduction was over.  Now, I’m not about to say that this sequel as a whole is better than Danny Boyle’s groundbreaking first from 2002, but the opening for 28 Weeks Later is easily on par with anything in 28 Days Later.

For those who have seen it, you know what I’m talking about.  And hopefully you share my enthusiasm as well.  If you haven’t seen it, the best I can do right now is provide a link from Youtube of the scene in full, but shown through the eyes of a camcorder.  You see, the copyright gods won’t let anyone put up actual clips from the movie, so this will have to suffice.  I can say that it’s some of the better bootleg footage out there in terms of quality, so we have that going for us.

Once the “In The House, In A Heartbeat” song kicks in, you know the rage-infested zombie shit is gonna hit the fan.  And when Don chooses himself over his wife and a random hungry kid, that’s when the reality of the situation sets in.  From there, we’re treated to a great zombie chase scene and then one of the best zombie water moments since Lucio Fulci’s infamous shark biting in 1979’s, Zombie.  This is how you do an opening sequence people, and luckily the rest of the movie didn’t dramatically fall off after this impressive little setup. So thank you 28 Weeks Later for your “Holy Shit!” moment and for almost (I can’t specify ‘almost’ enough) making me soil myself.  Now can we finally get 28 Months Later, please?

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