That Clown From 1988’s ‘Ghosthouse’ Though…….

Clowns freak me out.  Especially clown dolls – as my sister used to have one that sat in a rocking chair when I was younger that scared the shit out of me, thanks mostly in part to a little film called Poltergeist.  Hey – speaking of that movie!  There’s a 1988 Italian horror movie called Ghosthouse (written and directed by Umberto Lenzi) that pretty much blatantly steals the look of the clown from Poltergeist.  Issa ok though, because it’s still creepy as fuck AND has an accompanying ‘creepy as fuck’ song (thanks to composer Piero Montanari) to minimize the plagiarism.

Zoinks!  That clown made me wet myself.  He’s super, but the real champ of the scene and of the movie might be that song that pops up about every 2 minutes.  Ghosthouse was actually a first watch for me the other night, and I recommend it if you’re looking for a ‘so bad it’s good’ 80’s horror movie with no real plot.  Fun fact:  There’s a sequel called Witchery that stars both Linda Blair AND David Hasselhoff!  Yeah.  Chew on that for a minute.

Review: Terrifier (2018)

Coulrophobia.  I can say that I somewhat suffer from it.  And no, it’s not a fear of mayonnaise (although that is a crippling fear for me).  Coulrophobia is the fear of clowns. It’s not uncommon.  And with the triumphant return of Pennywise the Clown last year in the IT remake, clowns are even more the rage now.  But while Pennywise relies vocally to get his point across, my good friend Art the Clown from the new throwback gore-fest Terrifier relies heavy on facial expressions and sawing bodies in half to get HIS across.    Continue reading

Let’s Have Another Staring Contest…….

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Oh of course.  Our competitor is the original Pennywise because the new IT movie is coming out tomorrow (with the new Pennywise as well).  Classic promotional tactic.  But anyway, don’t look into his deadlights!  If you don’t, you might have a chance to win this staring contest.  But, seeing that you need to look him in the eyes to be victorious in this particular challenge pretty much means that you’re fucked.  Oh well – I’m sure it’s not so bad in the deadlights.  Maybe you could even get a nice fruity alcoholic drink while you’re there.  Don’t forget your balloon!  Don’t you want it?  Don’t you want it?  Don’t you want it?  Beep Beep.  You lose.

Have You Heard About This ‘IT’ Teaser Trailer?

Alright, clearly I was being sarcastic in the title of the post because the new teaser trailer for the upcoming remake/reboot of Stephen King’s IT was unleashed this week.  And judging from the response, people like it!  They really, really like it!  If you haven’t seen it, you should be ashamed – so here’s your chance right now:

Well, let’s talk about the big circus elephant in the room.  What can we expect Bill Skarsgard to deliver as far as Pennywise is concerned, and can he fill Tim Curry’s big clown shoes?  Since this is a teaser trailer, we get glimpses of him – but don’t get to hear the voice or really see any of his personality (which will be key).  He does seem to have some endurance and speed though, as evident from the final shot of Pennywise speeding through the water in the sewer.

My overall reaction to the new IT teaser trailer was pretty positive and it definitely left me wanting more.  ‘The Loser’s Club’ all look like they were cast well, and the visuals from director Andres Muschietti are striking – a much needed improvement over the 1990 TV Mini-Series.  Set to be released in two parts, the first half of IT will be in theaters on September 8th.  I’m anticipating a pretty big box office take considering the online reaction to the teaser trailer, so the hype train is definitely rolling fast down the tracks.  I myself, am finally tackling the original Stephen King novel (all 1138 pages) so that I can compare and critique everything revolving around the book, the TV Mini-Series, and the new version. Until then, let’s all have a slice of this delicious Pennywise cake and await September 8th!

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Who Needs ‘Pennywise The Clown’ When You Have ‘Krinkles The Clown’?

With the anticipation and nervousness associated with the upcoming two-part movie based on Stephen King’s IT, I found myself looking for creepy clowns online.  Much has been discussed and bitched about regarding the new images of the big screen version of Pennywise The Clown, so I found a clown that can easily replace him and be even creepier.  Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls…..I give to you:  Krinkles The Clown!

Sleep with one eye open……gripping your pillow tight!  Alright….Krinkles is pretty fucking creepy.  It’s amazing what was geared towards kids in the 50’s and 60’s btw.  I’m not sure what kind of boost creepy ol’ Krinkles gave to the Sugar Rice Krinkles brand cereal – but I’m sure every kid in America ran out to the stores so they could own a box with his disturbing face on the front.  Krinkles is pretty jolly, I will give him that.  I’ll also give him the fact that he would probably murder you in your sleep and cut you into little pieces.

So, About This New Rob Zombie Horror Movie Announcement……

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Ok, I’m in.  Even though I’m somewhat deathly afraid of creepy clowns, I can’t help but to get excited when it’s insinuated that a horror movie will revolve around them.  The speculation is running wild on this one though, because the poster is just so damn cryptic.  Rob Zombie did confirm that the title is 31, even though the letter ‘I’ on the poster is a bit confusing, so we can get that speculation about the title out of the way.

First thought that pops into my head is a Captain Spaulding prequel, based on the fact that the face paint on that clown up there is very similar to his.  But I don’t think that’s what we’re getting here. Second thought is that considering it’s called 31, it could be a Halloween-themed outing, but maybe not in the Michael Myers realm (this has somewhat been confirmed on some sites according to word from Mr. Zombie himself).

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So let’s say that it is a Halloween-themed movie.  And let’s say that this creepy ass clown is our main villain.  And let’s also say that Rob ditches his art house cinema dreams that were prevalent in The Lords Of Salem, and goes back to his true old school horror ways that made House Of 1000 Corpses enjoyable. Well, if you add all of that up and carry the 1, then in my horror opinion we’ll have something that will make true horror hounds and Rob Zombie enthusiasts very happy.  Time will tell I suppose, but I for one am excited that Rob Zombie seems to be going back to his roots with 31.  Now if only he can kick that nasty habit of putting Sherri into all of his movies……