Who Needs ‘Pennywise The Clown’ When You Have ‘Krinkles The Clown’?

With the anticipation and nervousness associated with the upcoming two-part movie based on Stephen King’s IT, I found myself looking for creepy clowns online.  Much has been discussed and bitched about regarding the new images of the big screen version of Pennywise The Clown, so I found a clown that can easily replace him and be even creepier.  Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls…..I give to you:  Krinkles The Clown!

Sleep with one eye open……gripping your pillow tight!  Alright….Krinkles is pretty fucking creepy.  It’s amazing what was geared towards kids in the 50’s and 60’s btw.  I’m not sure what kind of boost creepy ol’ Krinkles gave to the Sugar Rice Krinkles brand cereal – but I’m sure every kid in America ran out to the stores so they could own a box with his disturbing face on the front.  Krinkles is pretty jolly, I will give him that.  I’ll also give him the fact that he would probably murder you in your sleep and cut you into little pieces.

So, About This New Rob Zombie Horror Movie Announcement……

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Ok, I’m in.  Even though I’m somewhat deathly afraid of creepy clowns, I can’t help but to get excited when it’s insinuated that a horror movie will revolve around them.  The speculation is running wild on this one though, because the poster is just so damn cryptic.  Rob Zombie did confirm that the title is 31, even though the letter ‘I’ on the poster is a bit confusing, so we can get that speculation about the title out of the way.

First thought that pops into my head is a Captain Spaulding prequel, based on the fact that the face paint on that clown up there is very similar to his.  But I don’t think that’s what we’re getting here. Second thought is that considering it’s called 31, it could be a Halloween-themed outing, but maybe not in the Michael Myers realm (this has somewhat been confirmed on some sites according to word from Mr. Zombie himself).

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So let’s say that it is a Halloween-themed movie.  And let’s say that this creepy ass clown is our main villain.  And let’s also say that Rob ditches his art house cinema dreams that were prevalent in The Lords Of Salem, and goes back to his true old school horror ways that made House Of 1000 Corpses enjoyable. Well, if you add all of that up and carry the 1, then in my horror opinion we’ll have something that will make true horror hounds and Rob Zombie enthusiasts very happy.  Time will tell I suppose, but I for one am excited that Rob Zombie seems to be going back to his roots with 31.  Now if only he can kick that nasty habit of putting Sherri into all of his movies……