A bit of a challenge this week – because you have to beat not one, but two sets of eyes! You can do it though. Just don’t be a dummy and fuck up. Oh, I should mention that one of your opponents is actually a dummy. Focus, my friend. Sir Anthony Hopkins is going to try and break you while gazing into your eyes like a hungry Hannibal Lecter. I would shift your focus to Fats the ventriloquist dummy, because he looks more weak. I wish he would close his mouth though because that’s distracting. Oh wait! A sexy female ventriloquist dummy just came in the room and Fats looked away! You win!! And so does Fats because he’s about to have hot dummy sex in a minute.
Oh. Hi Annabelle. Ok – just because you have a brand new movie coming out in a few weeks, it doesn’t mean that you’re going to beat us at this staring contest. My, what big eyes you have though. Ok, time to stay focused. Don’t be distracted by her rosy cheeks. Don’t be distracted by her pigtails and fancy bangs. Just try and think about…….wait. Why am I peeing my pants? Dammit, Annabelle! You possessed me and made me piss myself, thus making me lose the staring contest! Arrrgh. Go see Annabelle: Creation on August 11th in theaters. She made me say that too.
Occasionally in my spare time, I like to browse around Etsy. Don’t judge. But truth be told, there is a ton of cool horror shit on there and you’re a fool if you don’t browse too. Yeah, I said it. So the other week during my browsing session, I came across quite possibly the best candle I’ve ever seen. I’ll stop leaving you in suspense and show you in the pic below:
Candles don’t usually excite me that much, but these give me the feels in a way I’ve never had the feels before. Look at that detail! And I happen to have a love for creepy dolls and even have my very own that I got from a thrift shop, and her name is Rosemary.
The maker of these horrifically awesome candles is called SickWix, and according to their Esty and Instagram page, it’s a one-ghoul show. The bad news as far as the creepy doll head candles go, is that they’re currently sold out. But it looks like they get added to the SickWix Etsy store HERE from time to time. There are also other deliciously spooky items up as well, so go show your support to horror-themed artists like SickWix and support the creepy baby head candle movement while you’re at it!
If you’re a horror fan and haven’t been watching the SyFy Channel make-up effects show Face Off for the last 8 seasons, then you’ve been missing out. That statement didn’t ring more true than it did the other night when the contestants had to create a horror character based off a doll of their choosing. We had a rag doll, voodoo doll, and even a ventriloquist doll. But nothing was more terrifying and impressive than the porcelain doll……
I can feel the evil piercing into the soul of my eyes when I look at that. Kudos to a contestant named Darla for creating what I think is my favorite make-up EVER on this show. The pic doesn’t even do it justice by the way, because this creepy fucking thing would look into a handheld mirror onstage and then mock ‘smash’ it into her head. Thus, giving the cracking effect even more of an effect. If there ever was a make-up from Face Off that was camera ready, it’s this one. Put her in a horror movie ASAP!
Oh – sorry…..I fell asleep watching Annabelle and I think I just woke up. Let me go watch it again and I’ll get back to you with the review.
Ok – done! I know, I know….I’m about 2 weeks late with a review for this movie, but good things come to those who wait. Unfortunately, no good things came to me from watching this piece of crap and I’ll share my thoughts on that now. Continue reading
If you’re like me and grew up on 80’s horror, then maybe you remember a little weekly running event on the USA Network called Saturday Nightmares? Every Saturday night, you could stay up and watch your favorite horror movies with the nudity edited, but usually the gore staying primarily intact. It would usually be a double feature, and in between those features you could sometimes catch a little horror short to pass the time before diving into movie number two.
Thanks to Youtube this morning, I stumbled upon one of those aforementioned horror shorts called The Dummy. I haven’t seen this since my days of convincing my parents to stay up to partake in Saturday Nightmares, and it was definitely a nice trip down memory lane. Now before you watch, just know that this was a student film and it’s from 1982, so the quality is a bit sketchy. The music is great though and it’s got a creepy killer ventriloquist, so you really can’t go wrong there, right? On top of all of that, it’s been confirmed that this short inspired the story of Chucky from the Child’s Play franchise. Keep that in mind when you’re watching!
Antique stores hold a bevy of wondrous treasures that can fill your heart with joy and excitement. Antique stores also can smell like a musty old lady who sucks on Halls cough drops for 24 hours straight. But the bevy of wondrous treasures trumps an old lady smell here, and I’ve been on a mission to scour these vintage shops for some great horror-related finds.
A few years back while visiting family in my small Indiana hometown, I stopped in a little antique store with my wife and stumbled upon quite possibly the creepiest doll I had ever seen. It had a porcelain cracked face, a modest $30 price tag, and could have easily been the star of it’s own horror movie. I procrastinated though, didn’t purchase it, and have been depressed ever since for passing it up. Fate was on my side though my friends, because just last week I went back to the same small Indiana town and came across a smaller, but equally creepy doll that was a steal at only $10.
After disturbing the saleslady with my purchase, I felt like my life was now complete because I had a new edition to my horror family. She’s a little shy, so please bear with her because she’s not used to all of this attention. So without further adieu, I present to you: Rosemary (I just gave her that name)
I know what you’re saying……I really need to be nice to this guy now or else he will unleash the evil that is Rosemary upon me. And you would be right. That’s what I call leverage, and Rosemary is now a part of me and a part of anyone around me. Hmmmm….think I just noticed some people distance themselves. I am eternally grateful for the chance to discover my newfound friend here and support the little local antique store at the same time. So keep an eye out if you’re ever in a resale shop for that rare creepy doll that can bring joy into your horror heart. And please let me know if you find one. Rosemary needs a friend to play with after all.
With February 14th almost right around the corner, it’s never too early to start shopping for that perfect Valentine’s gift for your significant other. And if you’d like to scare the shit out them this year, I have the perfect gift for you!
For those who have seen The Conjuring, you know that the Annabelle doll only inhabits a small portion of the movie, but is creepily effective for that short amount of time. So much so, that it’s getting it’s own spin-off movie as a reward for that creepiness. And apparently, to celebrate the recent Blu-ray release of The Conjuring, a rare 12-inch replica of the Annabelle doll was being sold along with the disc. As far as promotional items go for movies, this one’s pretty sweet. Only problem is that it’ll cost you to grab one off of Ebay.
There are only about three of these up right now for sale, so you can understand the rarity, with the ending price usually being around $200. A small price to pay for something that can freak out anyone who comes into your home. If you’re interested, I’m providing a link to one of them HERE!
Creepy dolls. Creepy possessions. Creepy 70’s clothing. If that ain’t enough creepy for you, then I don’t know what is! Time to keep this Halloween required viewing train chugging along, but not before we stop to pick up our next passenger: 2013’s, The Conjuring.
What’s that you say? A movie from 2013 made the required Halloween viewing list? Yep. Yessir. Yes Ma’am. And good news is that this nifty little throwback to old school horror comes out on DVD/Bluray on October 22nd, just in time for your Halloween night festivities! Long story short, I loved The Conjuring and if you want to read all about my gushing, head over to my review HERE. But I’m strictly talking here about why this movie is required to be viewed on Halloween night.
From the opening title sequence, The Conjuring screams ‘Halloween Night’. I just love that feeling I get when a horror movie knows what it’s doing and knows how to give an accurate homage. In fact, I encourage you to do a back-to-back viewing of this and the 1980 ghost story classic, The Changeling. Hmmmm. I just realized something. The Conjuring. The Changeling. The Conjuring. The Changeling. They sound alike! And it’s a bit of a tongue twister if you say them right after one another really fast. I’m getting a bit off track here, but the bottom line is that The Conjuring is a textbook spooky story that’s smarter than most movies of it’s kind.
Lots of jump scares and a lot of eye-numbing imagery make this one a must see this Halloween. Don’t worry, you can still get your fix of The Shape and Dr. Loomis’ trench coat, but in addition to that you need to make sure you give The Conjuring it’s deserved viewing. If you don’t, I’m going to have that creepy ass doll in the movie come track you down and hop into bed with you. Don’t think I can’t do it? Try me.