Give Me The Creeps: The Exorcism Scene From ‘The Wailing’ (2016)

If you read my ‘Best Of 2016’ list, then you know that the Korean horror film The Wailing sat proudly atop it.  There wasn’t much I could find wrong with this movie – except that I felt uncomfortable every time they called the stranger in the town ‘The Jap’.  Speaking of uncomfortable, no scene in recent memory (except maybe something in Baskin) made me as uncomfortable and creeped out as the exorcism scene in The Wailing.

If you haven’t seen the movie, then I maybe wouldn’t watch the following clip.  But, if you are the type that likes things spoiled for them – then by all means click away!

I don’t know much about exorcisms or the right/wrong way to conduct them, but dammit if that shaman wasn’t giving it his all!  You get an ‘A’ for effort, my good man.  More specifically, this whole scene gets an ‘A’ as the back and forth scenes between the shaman attempting to exorcise a demon from the little girl and the stranger (or Jap) performing his own ritual to try and stop it are about as mesmerizing and creepy as filmmaking can get.  Literally felt hypnotized as I watched this.  And then felt uneasy and dirty because it gave me the creeps and I felt the need for a shower afterwards.  Please see The Wailing if you haven’t already, and please hire that shaman if you need some good exorcism work done!

Give Me The Creeps: ‘The Biting Of The Penis’ From ‘The Last House On The Left’ (1972)

Well, if you read the title of the post, then you already know what road we’re going down.  Yeah, it’s the ‘dick biting’ road unfortunately.  Many things can give me the creeps in horror movies.  A disturbing doll sitting in the corner.  A child giggling before killing someone.  And most of all, watching a guy get his dick bitten off by a vengeful mother.  You see, anything done to that region of the body in a movie that inflicts pain usually will make me squirm in my seat like nothing else.  And one of the originators of this said act of violence was the late and great Wes Craven’s shocker, The Last House On The Left:

Fun fact for those who haven’t seen the movie – that guy who just got his junk chomped on is named Weasel.  Fitting.  So, a couple things after re-watching that clip.  And no, I will not mention that fact the Weasel can apparently “finish” 5 or 6 times if he wants to.  I guess I just did mention that though.

The main thing is that I was reminded of how awesome The Last House On The Left soundtrack is.  The music that kicks in when Estelle is about to do the dirty dick deed is pretty amazing and makes me think I’m playing a video game.  I don’t know that I could ever say “Oh, sweet Mama – here I come!” when I’m with a girl by the way.  Anywho, Weasel had that shit coming for being a disgusting rapist.  But man oh man – it doesn’t make it any less uncomfortable for a man to watch, and it still gives me the creeps.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go count my blessings that I have my penis.

Give Me The Creeps: The Old Lady In ‘It Follows’

This is not to upset any of my readers who are senior citizens, but old people can really creep me out.  I think I’m still traumatized by visions of the lady in the bathtub from The Shining.  Hell, and don’t even get me started on Rabid Grannies.  So anyway, as I was revisiting last years ‘love it or hate it’ horror movie It Follows – I was once again reminded just how much the geriatric folk get under my skin…….

Obviously the amazing score from Disasterpeace helps accentuate that scene and many others in the film.  But even without any music, this scene would still have me twitching with uncomfortableness.  Like I said earlier, love it or hate – It Follows nailed certain aspects of what’s missing in horror nowadays.  And creepy slow-walking elderly people is one of them.  I’m talking more so about the overall feel of the movie of course, but if you never worried about looking out a window and seeing an old lady in a hospital gown slowly walking towards you – I bet you will now.  Btw – would you just fight them off with Bengay or dentures or something?

Creepiest Pizza Cutter Ever: Don’t Go To Sleep (1982)

Machetes and butcher knives are for suckers.  Yeah, I’m looking at you Jason Voorhees.  Try using a pizza cutter to intimidate someone and then we’ll talk. While I was going through my often cluttered mind of horror movie memories, I remembered a made-for-TV movie called Don’t Go To Sleep from 1982. And one of the scenes that stuck with me was when Mary (Robin Ignico) is stalking her mother (played by Valerie Harper) with a pizza cutter towards the end of the movie.  Check out the clip below and marvel at the sight of a made-for-TV movie that is creepier than pretty much any horror movie released in theaters today.

My Heavy Metal Horror Fix: Terry From ‘The Gate’ (1987)

I woke up in a bit of a heavy metal mood this morning, so naturally I had to find one of the most heavy metal movie clips ever to satisfy my urge!

A bit overselling was going on there, but yes – nothing says heavy metal like Terry (Louis Tripp) from the 1987 horror movie aimed for kids, The Gate.  He really does love his Sacrifyx album and more specifically, he loves putting his rainbow-colored bedsheet on his head while he recites the spoken word of The Old Gods.  Might want to lose the rainbow-colored bedding if you want to keep your metal reputation intact, Terry.  There are a lot of things I love about The Gate and that scene is definitely one of them.  The other would be the one below that includes a creepy old zombie guy, a bunch of miniature demons, and a Barbie doll being used as a weapon.  Trifecta!

Sunday Bloody Sunday: ‘Creepy Clown Attack’ From ‘Ghoulies’ (1985)

Nothing says a fun Saturday night like watching Ghoulies.  Yeah, I said Ghoulies.  I live a depressing life, but that’s not the focus here.  The focus is on the fact that Ghoulies actually has a few good parts in it and isn’t just a clever poster with a slimy bald green monster popping up out of the toilet with the equally clever tagline “They’ll Get You In The End!” attached.

On this week’s Sunday Bloody Sunday, I’m spotlighting one of my favorite and creepiest scenes from 1985’s Ghoulies and of course it involves a clown because I don’t like clowns.  Actually, this is more of a clown/jester hybrid that ends up being a green sharp-toothed monster underneath.  No, it doesn’t make any sense, but it sure is fun to watch!

Give Me The Creeps: The Window Scene From ‘Salem’s Lot’ (1979)

What the hell were my parents thinking when they let me watch Salem’s Lot on TV when I was 6-years-old?  Well, thanks Mom & Dad – because I’m still having nightmares about a ghostly floating vampire boy scratching at my window, just begging to be let in.

Not many TV movies nowadays could give me the creeps (unless the acting in Sharknado counts), and Salem’s Lot definitely succeeded there numerous times.  Released as a TV mini-series that was based on the novel by Stephen King, this is easily one of the better vampire horror movies around.  The window scene is the true master here (sorry, Barlow) and that is the scene that makes me grab at my blankey extra tight.  I’ll leave it up to you, the reader, to determine if I really do still have a blankey.  But anyway, high praise goes out to you Salem’s Lot and your creepy ass window scene – you will forever give me nightmares.  Oh, Hi Barlow!  How long have you been standing there?

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Give Me The Creeps: ‘Cheryl’s Possession’ From ‘The Evil Dead’ (1981)

I remember the first time I saw The Evil Dead.  My sister had seen it the night before at a slumber party (because slumber parties were all the rage in the 80’s), and came home with the VHS telling me it was the scariest movie she’d ever seen.  Being the sceptic that I am, and was as an 8-year-old boy back then, I told her she was full of shit.  At which point my Mom stuck a bar of soap in my mouth.  So I pushed my skepticism aside and sat down to watch it.

Oh look – five kids in an old cabin.  Scotty tells everyone to “Party down!!”. Hey, they found an old tape recorder in the basement with some creepy guy talking about demons and junk like that.  Uh oh – a girl just got raped by some trees.  And then…….the possession of Cheryl is revealed:

Yikes!  This is the moment when I was all in on The Evil Dead.  I know, I should been all in at the tree raping, but it was Cheryl’s possession reveal that gave me the creeps – so it wins.  The levitation and the voice with her head rolling around back and forth challenged my nerves, but it was actually the somewhat cheesy makeup effects that did it for me.  Probably those white eyes.  Which are an understandable side effect after being taken against your will by demonic tree branches I guess.  Note to self by the way:  Don’t leave any unattended pencils lying around if a possessed body collapses near me.

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Give Me The Creeps: ‘Billy’s Eye’ From ‘Black Christmas’ (1974)

You know who would really be the life of your holiday party this year?  Billy from 1974’s classic slasher, Black Christmas!  He would definitely have you covered if you needed the following:  some plastic bags for whatever reason, an obscene phone call that emphasizes the word ‘cunt’, and a creepy peeping eyeball.

Speaking of creepy – not many movies creep me out more than Bob Clark’s, Black Christmas.  A definite pioneer in the slasher genre, it manages to make your skin crawl just off of the opening sequence alone.  But the scene with Billy’s aforementioned creepy eye takes the creepy cake for sure.  So let’s all watch together as Jess (Olivia Hussey) runs frantically through the house and encounters Billy and his eerie peeping peeper.

Give Me The Creeps: ‘Beetle Mania’ From ‘Prince Of Darkness’ (1987)

I’ve got super good news for you if you have a fascination or fetish with black beetles!  When it comes to scenes from horror movies that give me the creeps, I can usually count on anything associated with a numerous amount bugs to do the trick.  So a big thank you and also a big fuck you to John Carpenter’s 1987 flick, Prince Of Darkness is in order.  Although the movie as a whole is hit-or-miss, there are a ton of creepy scenes to make your skin crawl.  None more so than the moment below when Wyndham (Robert Grasmere) returns from the dead with a disturbing auto-tuned voice and a bunch of beetle friends in tow.

Wow – his head just literally rolled right off, huh?  Well, I guess if I was a walking corpse with thousands of beetles inhabiting my body, my head probably wouldn’t stand a chance of remaining intact either.  Not only do the bugs creep me out, but when Wyndham says “Pray for death…..“, I feel the urge to urinate in my pants a little.  Being that Halloween is upon us, Prince Of Darkness is definitely required viewing on the night of October 31st. Scream Factory recently released an amazing Blu-ray version with loads of extras, so get on over to their site and grab it if you want.  Now, because you’ve been good throughout the post, I’ll tease you with half of Jameson Parker’s mustache from the movie.

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