Oh boy. It’s your first staring contest with a scanner. Don’t panic. You can do this. If you don’t lose focus, you can combat his mind and make him break. Try to think of something soothing and calming. Like Hannah Davis serving you lemonade topless on a white sandy beach with smooth jazz music playing in the background. There…..now isn’t that nice? I bet you’ve already forgotten that you’re in a staring contest with a scanner. Wait, what are you doing? Don’t itch your nose. You’re going to lose focus! Get back to thinking about a topless Hannah Davis serving you delicious lemonade and…………
If barf bags are involved in the screening of a horror movie, you know that can only be a good sign. Trust me, I’m not a vomit fiend or anything like that at all – but there’s something “special” about getting handed a barf bag before viewing time. Publicity stunt? Maybe. Over-the-top promotional gag? Most definitely. But when you see the trailer for the new gooey insect horror flick called Bite, you might understand the marketing ploy:
I can admit that I’ve always had a fear of getting bitten by an insect and having it’s eggs be laid inside the wound and inside me. I still get creeped out by the spider scene from the movie The Believers. So naturally when I watched the trailer for Bite, I got the willies. Overall, it seems it won’t win any major points for originality as it looks to heavily borrow from David Cronenberg’s version of The Fly. Not that that’s a bad thing mind you, but we’ve kind of seen the whole ‘person transforms into an insect’ done before. I’m looking at you Ticks. But it’s hard to argue with the fact that Bite is already being praised for using grotesque gooey practical effects to enhance the infected girl’s transformation after she’s bitten on a Bachelorette retreat.
Yes, we’ve talked barf bags – but what about the news that people were fainting and actually vomiting after watching Bite on the big screen during the Fantasia Film Festival? I actually do believe it, and hopefully I’m not getting roped into some devious and elaborate marketing scheme that will make me wake up one morning with egg on my face. I do love eggs, but not enough to be humiliated. I would assume that Bite will be making more festival rounds, especially after the buzz it’s generating (positive reviews are coming in as I type this) and considering that Halloween is coming up soon as well. Stay tuned for more info and keep the Pepto-Bismol close by!
Remember when Michael Myers battled Busta Rhymes in the finale of Halloween: Resurrection? I know, I know – we all want to forget, but we unfortunately need to accept and deal with it. The point is that it sucked, but the finale in David Cronenberg’s fantastic 1981 flick, Scanners, between Michael Ironside and Stephen Lack was awesome!
Sometimes you just have to resort back to the classics, and on this week’s Sunday Bloody Sunday, I’m doing just that. Yes, not much more needs to be said about the final battle between Vale (Lack) and Revok (Ironside) as they go head-to-head (get it?) in an impressive special effects-laden tour de force. Bonus points are given for Lack’s exploding eye trick and for his fire hands. Michael Ironside’s white eyes aren’t too shabby either.