More ‘Day Of The Dead’ Remake Fuckery Is Upon Us…….

More than 30 years later and they still can’t seem to get a Day Of The Dead sequel/reboot right.  First we had the tremendously bad Day Of The Dead 2: Contagium go surprisingly straight-to-video in 2005.  Then we had a ‘loose’ remake title Day Of The Dead also go straight-to-video in 2008, and it starred Nick Cannon as a wannabe zombie-killing bad ass.  I’ll let that sink in for a minute.  And now, the Day Of The Dead remake gods are at it again with ANOTHER version of the George A. Romero 1985 classic.  And thanks to Bloody Disgusting, we got a sneak peek at the character MAX, who is a reboot of BUB from the original.

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What in thee fuck.  Now I have nothing against the actor portraying MAX here (Johnathon Schaech), but this just doesn’t seem right.  First of all, BUB was a character that should never even try to be duplicated.  He was, and is, an iconic horror figure and one of the best attempts in a horror movie at evoking emotion from the audience for a character. And if you read the short synopsis of this remake (which seems to be a more true remake this time around), then the fuckery gets even worse:

Day Of The Dead follows a former medical student tormented by a dark figure from her past, who happens to be a half-human, half-zombie hell-bent on destroying her.  

Oh sweet fancy Moses.  So we have a half-human, half-zombie on a mission to get revenge?  Sounds lovely.  And let me guess…..MAX is going to be that half-human, half-zombie?  Hence why he has to be chained up maybe?  Love it or hate (I’m with the latter), this remake of Day Of The Dead is in production and it will become a reality soon.  I reached out to Captain Rhodes from the original movie and this was his reaction:

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Oh Joy: ‘Day Of The Dead’ Is Going To Be Remade Again!

Thanks television series The Walking Dead.  You’ve resurrected (pun intended of course) the zombie genre and because of that, it has been announced that George Romero’s 1985 underrated military zombie flick, Day Of The Dead, is being thrown on the remake carousel AGAIN.  Yes, again. You may or hopefully don’t remember, that director Steve Miner threw his hat into the Day Of The Dead remake ring in 2008 and gave us the straight-to-DVD shitfest starring Nick Cannon.  No, I didn’t stutter.  Nick Cannon.  Well thanks now in part to Christa Campbell and Lati Grobman, who produced the unnecessary Texas Chainsaw 3D this year, the wheels are in motion for yet another attempt at getting a Day Of The Dead remake made.

*I’m pretty fucking far from ok….*

Goddammit, Sonofabitch, Motherf*cker!!!!!  Ok, I got that off my chest.  I just don’t see a need to remake this movie again.  Want to jump onto the zombie bandwagon?  Try doing an ORIGINAL zombie movie.  On the slight upside I guess, if they are going to go through with this – at least it can’t get much worse than the 2008 attempt.  Or even better, it can’t sink any lower than the 2005 “never speak the name again”, Day Of The Dead 2: Contagion.  I’m reaching here, but I’m just trying to find some positives in a big bowl of negatives.  If they’re going through with this remake, I just implore them to do it right and stay faithful to the original as much as possible.  If you don’t, I’m sending Bub to come get your ass.

*go ahead:  make me a sandwich, because I’m starving*