I have a rule of thumb for any movie in a horror franchise that has the word ‘LAST’ in it’s title. That rule would be that it should be the last entry into that particular franchise. Done. Finished. Finito. Such is very much the case with Insidious: The Last Key, a desperate attempt to keep the Insidious series going with yet another prequel and even worse…..without any true scares. Let’s tiptoe into the review and get started.
The year was 2006. I had just recently moved to Los Angeles. Gas prices were relatively low. And a young filmmaker named Adam Green was busy bringing ‘Old School American Horror‘ back! Yes, that’s right – the 80’s homage/throwback Hatchet was born. And thus, it’s villain Victor Crowley was as well (thanks in large part to Kane Hodder). I remember watching Hatchet for the first time, almost blindly buying the DVD. What I was treated to was indeed a love letter to the horror that I grew up on in the 80’s: Unapologetically nasty gore, inventive kills, boobs, and boobs. Did I mention boobs?
Adam Green would go on to give us two more Hatchet sequels in the aftermath of the success of the original. Now, I’m not ashamed to admit that they didn’t really hit my horror spot as much as the first time I saw Victor Crowley grace the screen with his horribly disfigured swampy face. I liked the sequels, but the vibe felt off to me. But now……..Victor Crowley is back in 2018 and he’s looking like his old self! For better or worse, that is. Yes – the aptly titled Victor Crowley is the fourth (and maybe final) sequel in the Hatchet series and if the first full trailer is any indication, it will go out on a high body count note! Check it out below and get your preorder in for the Blu-ray/DVD over at Amazon HERE for a super good price.
God bless, eBay. And by the way, do you know what time it is? Well – you do now, because during my weekly scouring of the eBay horror listings I stumbled upon a super rare item. This glorious promotional wall clock from the 1986 movie April Fool’s Day!
Now, normally I don’t get too excited over wall clocks – but you have to admit that this is an exception. I always dug April Fool’s Day and it’s approach to the slasher genre, so I wouldn’t be hesitant to snatch this guy up. It is a bit pricey ($124.99), but it is rare and honestly you might never find another one again. If you’re interested in looking at more pics and read more info on the listing, head on over HERE to check it out!
It seems just like yesterday that I was downing an entire bottle of champagne by myself in my apartment while the clock struck midnight on December 31st. The point of that sentence is not to indicate that I live a lonely and pathetic existence, but to state the fact that another year has come and gone and it’s time to talk about the best and worst horror movies of 2017! Fun fact: There were a lot of good horror movies this past year. So I’ll try to narrow those down to my Top 5. You’re free to disagree if you’d like. Let’s get to it!
What says Christmas more than a 12-year-old boy that has a crush on his 17-year-old babysitter? Actually, that has absolutely nothing to do with Christmas – but in the new holiday horror movie Better Watch Out, it sure does!
I’m very fond of any musical group that incorporates horror either into their music, music videos, or stage shows. So, it comes as no surprise that I’m completely onboard with the new metal supergroup TERROR UNIVERSAL. Why a supergroup, you ask? Well because they are comprised of members from well known metal outfits like Ill Niño, Soulfly, Machine Head, and Upon A Burning Body. And did I mention the horror? Oh, the horror! The horror that’s in their new video for the song ‘Dig You A Hole’ is outstanding. Let’s watch:
Blood, blood, and more blood….some creepy ass masks….pummeling guitar riffs….and some more blood. All of that adds up to an impressive start for TERROR UNIVERSAL, who’s new album Make Them Bleed is being unleashed on January 19th. Want to preorder it? Then head on over HERE and check out all of the different goodies you can also order in the process of getting the album. And of course there’s some ‘blood splattered’ vinyl for you to grab too!
Who doesn’t love a good possession movie? Oh sure – The Exorcist will probably forever remain at the top of the list of the genre (and with good reason), but lest we not forget about a little movie appropriately called Possession that came out in 1981. Directed and co-written by Andrzej Żuławski, this hidden gem boasts one of the most intense acting scenes that you may have never seen. Now watch below as Isabelle Adjani really goes for the gusto and smashes some eggs in the process:
RIP to those eggs. And RIP to anyone else who attempted to top this performance afterwards! Good Lord. How the fuck did Isabelle Adjani not get an Oscar nod for this? She did take home an award from the Cannes Film Festival that year, so all was not lost. Aside from her thrashing, mashing, and screaming – the camerawork is top notch, as is the choice to not use any music during the scene. I guess I should have cautioned you that the end gets a bit messy and you might not want to eat afterwards. But anyway, kudos to you Isabelle Adjani and kudos to your thrashing that should have sparked a new dance craze.
I was thinking the other day about SyFy Channel movies. Not sure why necessarily, but they were on my mind. And all of this reminiscing made me think back to one of the first movies I saw on the channel, although not specifically made for it (like Sharknado per say). And that movie was: Mosquito!!!
Mosquito is not only up there with some of the best movies the Syfy Channel has ever put on (Ice Spiders, anyone?), but it also has the late great Gunnar Hansen fighting off these giant blood-thirsty mosquitos with…….wait for it…….a chainsaw!! Oh – I guess the surprise was minimized since I already gave it away in the title of the post. But anyway – if you’re not a believer of Mosquito yet and want to judge for yourself whether or not it sucks (haha), then watch the clip below and enjoy all of the glorious B-movie action. Hahaha – I said ‘sucks’.
I figured that I should probably write something before my entire body is feeling the effects of the tryptophan. So yes, it’s time for another Thanksgiving and another year of giving my readers a few things that I’m thankful for in 2017. So put down your third piece of pumpkin pie and let me grab your attention for a minute.