That Time Roger Ebert Called ‘Day Of The Dead’ A Real Bloody, Gory Geek Show!

It’s time for one of my favorite moments: Going back and watching Siskel & Ebert tear apart horror movies! And in this episode, they go for the jugular of George Romero’s Day Of The Dead.

Well, at least they liked Dawn Of The Dead. I’ll give them that. I was a bit surprised that they hated the follow-up that much though. Day Of The Dead did take a bit to grow on me when I saw it in the 80’s, I do have to admit. I hold Dawn Of The Dead in such high regard, and Night Of The Living Dead was possibly the first movie that scared the shit out of me.

What Day Of The Dead did so well (besides the amazing effects) was create a true villain in Captain Rhodes (Joseph Pilato) in addition to the ghouls (as Mr. Ebert likes to call them). Rhodes in my opinion is one of the greatest villains in horror movie history. A true monster without the make-up on. And while you watch Day Of The Dead, it’s a certainty that Rhodes will get his by the end of the movie. And boy, does he – with also one of the greatest death scenes in horror movie history. So because of those factors alone, I have three words for Siskel & Ebert for their review: Choke On ‘Em!

RIP George Romero & Joseph Pilato

Go Watch ‘The Dark And The Wicked’ On Shudder……Now!!

Is this a review? Yes and no. I’m sort of tired of writing a typical review, so I’ll do this one a little differently. Have you heard of the movie The Dark And The Wicked? No?? Hmmmm. Do you have Shudder? Oh, you do?? Well…..get your happy ass on over there and watch the movie! That was a bit rude. My apologies.

Ok, so the movie is The Dark And The Wicked. Written and directed by Bryan Bertino, who also wrote and directed The Strangers (a personal favorite of mine btw). So what does this movie have going for it: Good acting? Check. Creepy atmosphere? Check. Jump scares? Yeah, a minimal check. A woman slicing off her fingers thinking that they’re carrots? Super check!

The Dark And The Wicked doesn’t exactly reinvent anything horror-wise, but aside from the ending – it doesn’t really fuck anything up. The story is fairly straight forward: Two siblings (Marin Ireland and Michael Abbott Jr.) return home to be with their dying father and distraught mother. While there, strange things start happening – disturbing images pop up – and blood is shed. Not all exactly in that order. There’s a sense of sorrow and dread throughout the whole movie, and it definitely plays on general grief and emotion that a family goes through when someone either passes away, or is about to.

This is one of those movies that I had low expectations with, and ended up liking it more because of that. While not perfect, The Dark And The Wicked did its job with me…..which is basically making me squirm a few times and maybe even giving in to the ‘jump scare’ attempts. It’s on Shudder now, so goooooooo watch it!

Serenity Now!!!

Well, for some reason about 6 months of recent posts have disappeared and/or been deleted from my site. I know this isn’t really a ‘horror’ post by any means, but I am watching 1985’s Demons while I type this – so that has to count for something, right?

But anyway – while I decide if I even want to endure more WordPress heartache and keep this blog going, please enjoy this pic of Sigourney Weaver posing seductively from Alien.

It’s ‘Spirit Halloween’ Mask Roundup Time!

Although me and my fellow horror enthusiasts are down in the dumps about Halloween all but being canceled this year, we can still have fun with looking for terrible officially licensed masks!  We just can’t go to an actual Spirit Halloween store to try them on, because that would most likely be frowned upon in today’s Covid environment.  But luckily, there’s this thing called a website – and I found some good ones:    Continue reading

Just Here To Give Tobe Hooper’s ‘Lifeforce’ A Little Love!

When I think of ‘bad but good’ 80’s horror movies, Tobe Hooper’s Lifeforce will almost certainly always get mentioned.  Space vampires?  Oh, ok.  Who doesn’t love space vampires?  And boobs.  Can’t forget about the boobs.  I unfortunately didn’t see said boobs (my apologies to actress Mathilda May), because my Mom would always make me cover my eyes when any melons would grace the TV screen.  Nonetheless, Lifeforce is a guilty pleasure – and some might even say an underrated gem?  This scene below used to scare the shit out of me as a kid, so please watch it.  And dig those practical effects, man!

When you look at the first half of Tobe Hooper’s career as a director, it’s pretty damn impressive.  The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Poltergeist will always get top billing, but it’s those surprise smaller films like The Funhouse and Eaten Alive that gave his horror resume a boost.  And yes, Lifeforce is part of that boost as well.  Btw, did you know that Billy Idol was supposed to play the head vampire in the movie??  But alas, it was not meant to be as Billy’s touring schedule conflicted with the film’s production.  Nevertheless….even without Mr. Idol’s spikey blonde hair, Lifeforce still remains a goofy/fun ride.  Seek it out (Scream Factory did a nice release of it somewhat recently), and enjoy the space vampires, the boobs, and the boobs.  Boobs!

Submit To The Cosmic Creepiness With This New Video From ‘Vitskär Süden’!

Maybe you’re feeling as though this quarantine is reminiscent of hybrid movie brought to you by John Carpenter, David Lynch, and Panos Cosmatos.  Well, if that’s the case – then I’ve got the perfect soundtrack to go along with what’s going on in that mind of yours.

New ‘doom metal’ quartet Vitskär Süden is releasing their debut self-titled album today, and they’ve given us a visually haunting video for the song ‘Trickle of the Snail’ to go along with it.  Whet your appetite and check the video out below, and feel free to do some drugs in the process:

As previously mentioned, Vitskär Süde dropped their debut album TODAY on streaming platforms – and you can listen, download, and purchase directly from the band’s Bandcamp page HERE.  Grab it and get into it……before it grabs you! (insert ominous evil laugh)

Oh How I Miss Going To The Movies…….I Think.

One of the biggest travesties to come out of this quarantine lockdown besides beating people up for paper towels, is the fact that we cannot go to the movies to watch a horror movie!  Oh sure, 2020 brought us The Grudge remake to tide us over earlier in the year.  Wait, that just makes it worse!  Oh, the horror (or lack thereof).

Unfortunately, we will have to wait to see the Candyman reboot on the big screen.  And also A Quiet Place 2.  Oh, and Spiral.  Omg, and Antlers!  No, not Antlers!!!  That was actually my most anticipated movie of the year (sorry, Halloween Kills).  The truth is, none of us know what the future holds for the rest of 2020 when it comes to horror movie releases.  Some might pop up on a streaming site like Shudder.  Others might eventually get released into theaters, but with new guidelines to follow the social distancing rulebook.

I for one, can’t wait to get back into a movie theater with my ghoulfriend so we can be interrupted while watching the movie by people looking at their bright-ass phone screen.  Or listen to someone talking loudly to the person next to them instead of at least having the common courtesy to fucking whisper a little.  Or hear a baby crying during an R-rated horror movie that has several decapitations and bludgeonings.  Wait – why the hell do I want to go back into a movie theater again?  I dunno.  But stay safe, everyone!  Especially you ‘loud talkers’ in the theater.

Very Bad Good Things: Blood Hook (1986)

So I’m sitting down and eating some Gorton’s battered fish the other night, and it got me to thinking about I Know What You Did Last Summer.  And then that got me to thinking about what a terrible villain Benjamin Willis was.  And then THAT got me thinking about the 1986 horror/comedy Blood Hook, and how the killer in that movie is the real #1 ‘killer fisherman’ character of all time!  Well, the competition isn’t really steep – given there aren’t many killer fishermen in horror movies.  Pretty much just him and Benjamin.  But let’s take a peek at Blood Hook!

Sounds like George Takei might have been doing some voiceover work back then.  But anyway, that there was the original trailer for Blood Hook – and it was around this time that Troma picked it up for distribution.  Sadly and surprisingly, a lot of the gore was cut and therein lied most of the fun with this movie.

But, have no fear!  Vinegar Syndrome re-released it a few years ago in all of its original gory giant fishhook glory!  You can find a copy HERE or if you want to find a copy with the limited slipcover, then good luck hunting it down on eBay.  Give it a watch though – it will definitely have you ‘reeling’.  Ugh, that was bad.  My apologies.  It’s not like I’m on here ‘fishing’ for compliments for my bad humor and puns.  Ok, I’m done.

Fin.

It’s Almost Mommy’s Day!

Mother’s Day.  The time of the year to show your Mom how much she means to you by getting her some cheap flowers from the grocery store.  But Mother’s Day is also the time of the year to remember that scene from John Carpenter’s In The Mouth Of Madness where that creepy little girl says this:

Yes, I know – that’s a random clip to play to correspond with Mother’s Day.  But, I was giving In The Mouth Of Madness a re-watch the other night and that scene always creeped me out.  Maybe it’s the way she takes that little pause before she says “Today is Mommy’s Day” in that unsettling whisper.

Lots of things creep me out about this movie though (that bike scene forever haunts me), but that little girl needed more screen time.  Nevertheless – kudos to In the Mouth Of Madness for being, in my opinion, one of Carpenter’s most underrated films (albeit the plot is a bit of a mess).  And an early kudos to the mothers out there (including mine) who tolerated us watching movies like this!

And Now……Vomit Talk: With Seth Brundle!

Hey everybody!  Welcome to Vomit Talk.  I’m your host, Seth Brundle!  You might know me from one of the greatest remakes of all time – The Fly!  And today, as the title suggested, I want to talk about vomit.  Yeah, being a fly is tough.  I don’t have any teeth, so I have to find fun new ways to enjoy my meals.  Like…..vomiting!  Remember that time I did that thing to that guy Stathis in the movie?  (audience applause)

Well, let’s reminisce and take a look back at it now!

(audience laughter)

Hahaha – man, those were some good times!  Don’t worry about Stathis though.  He survived and even appeared in the inferior (but somewhat fun) sequel!  I apologize if my vomiting grossed some of you out while you were eating breakfast.  I’m a fly and can’t help it!  (audience awwwws)

I will say, that I’m still impressed with the effects that were used in this movie, especially for its time, and to this day I think it’s one of David Cronenberg’s best movies.  I’m equally impressed as well with the amount of vomit that came out of my mouth!  (audience groans)

So join us next time on Vomit Talk, where I’ll show you what I’m having for dinner.  Careful if you’re in the first few rows though, you might get wet and disintegrate!  (over-the-top audience laughter and applause)