Anticipation Alert: Don’t Breathe (2016)

Fede Alvarez’s Evil Dead remake in 2013 was a breath of fresh gory air as far as horror remakes go.  It gave enough nods and winks to the original, but managed to up the gross-out factor X 10 with some impressive practical effects throughout the experience.  I still can’t carve a turkey without thinking of an arm getting sawed off.  Well now Alvarez’s follow-up feature is finally coming in the form of Don’t Breathe – a movie that’s getting pretty solid early reviews for being a tense little ‘trapped in the house’ thriller.

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The teaser poster is simple, but effective.  The plot behind Don’t Breathe is about a group of teenagers who break into rich people’s houses to further their own economic status by stealing shit that isn’t theirs.  Only problem is that they choose a blind guy as their latest victim and, you guessed it, the tables get turned!  Originally titled A Man In The Dark (which I might like better actually), it sounds like a refreshing idea to the someone tired premise of being ‘trapped in a house’.  Oh – and it stars Jane Levy who was in Alvarez’s Evil Dead as well.

Blind people in horror movies usually aren’t too successful in their quest to stay alive (I’m looking at you Suspiria and The Beyond), so to have a blind person get revenge on a bunch of kids trying to rob him sounds like a good time to me!  As I stated earlier, the early buzz on this is that it’s pretty good, so stay tuned for a trailer hopefully dropping soon and a release date.  In the meantime, do as the title says and don’t breathe.  Actually, go ahead and breathe or you may have some health issues.

Monday Bloody Monday: ‘Olivia’s Transformation’ From ‘Evil Dead’ (2013)


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What better way to kick the week off then with some self-mutilation, a needle in the eye, and a good head bashing?  Oh sure – a delicious bowl of Fruity Pebbles would be just as satisfying, but watching the transformation of Olivia in Evil Dead from 2013 is even more satisfying.

Kudos to the sound design department on this movie for the sound effects of Olivia (Jessica Lucas) sawing away at her face with a piece of glass.  Not exactly the sexiest thing in the world, but it almost beats the fact that she peed her pants earlier in the scene.  Leave it up to a horror movie to make a sexy girl unsexy in a matter of seconds.  But anyway, this scene was definitely the tipping point for me as far as appreciating and applauding this remake of the original The Evil Dead from 1981, which in itself was a big feat considering my love for that original.

Sunday Bloody Sunday: ‘Chainsaw In The Mouth’ From ‘Evil Dead’ (2013)

Here’s a little nugget of knowledge that will help you along as you go through the journey of life:  Don’t ever talk shit to someone that’s holding a chainsaw.  Especially when you’re already missing appendages and can barely walk.

Welcome to Sunday Bloody Sunday where I’m going full on gore this week with the gnarly ‘chainsaw through the mouth’ killing at the end of 2013’s, Evil Dead.  I dug this remake/reboot and the ending definitely got points for letting the red stuff fly!  I wouldn’t advise eating your breakfast while you watch this, but click the button below to watch our heroine Mia shut up that demonic abomination for good……

Review: Evil Dead (2013)

It’s hard out here for a possessed demon, man.  You have to take scalding hot showers, you uncontrollably piss you pants, but on the upside – you apparently can be a pretty good shot with a nail gun!  With all this demon talk going on, chances are I can only be talking about one movie:  Evil Dead.  Yes Fede Alvarez’s feature directorial debut film is a remake of the 1981 Sam Raimi lensed cult classic, The Evil Dead.  So does the potentially unnecessary remake do the original justice and maybe even improve on it?  Or is it just another in a long line of horror remakes that missed the mark and should have been left in the cellar?  Step inside and find out…. Continue reading

Oh Scary ‘Evil Dead’….How I’ve Missed You!

Let me just get right into it.  Thank god the Evil Dead franchise is turning scary again!  I might get stoned for saying this, but I never liked the hokey/comedic turn that the original trilogy turned into.  Let’s make no mistake about it – the 1981 original Evil Dead was scary.  It was definitely low-budget and some of the effects left a lot to be desired…but it was scary, and always intended to be so. The tree raping, the pencil in the ankle, and the numerous body dismemberments all made me wince the first time I saw them when I rented the VHS from the local Mom & Pop store in town.  Bottom line:  it scared the shit out of me.  If I watch it now, maybe not so much.  But, The Evil Dead is still one of my favorite horror movies of all time, and I respect to this day what Sam Raimi and his crew tried to accomplish and did accomplish.

*I bet she had a tree-mendous orgasm*

Fast forward 6 years later and Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn is released.  I’ll admit, it confused the hell out of me the first time I saw it.  Mind you, back then, I didn’t realize what was going on with the concept.  It wouldn’t be until later in my horror filled life that I would understand what Raimi and company were trying to do here.  Evil Dead 2 wasn’t really a sequel, but more of a “retelling” of the original Evil Dead, with Raimi putting together the movie he always wanted to make, this time with better effects (courtesy of KNB) and a bigger budget.  The end result was super entertaining, inventive, goofy, but just not that scary.  I dealt with it though and enjoyed the hell out of it, and still do today.  But the absence of any real terror or dread fucked with me and I have to admit, it really bothered me too.

*have you been using a new conditioner?*

1992 is the year I would get slapped in the face.  And this is also the part of the post where I may get pelted with heavy objects because I have a confession:  I don’t like Army Of Darkness. The third entry of the Evil Dead trilogy would find Ash transported back to medieval times and turning into even more of the wise-cracking/ass-kicking hero that was introduced to us in Evil Dead 2.  I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve tried to like this movie.  I feel like I need to like it.  I feel like I want to like it.  But once we get to the midway point with Ash doing his Three Stooges schtick along with a bunch of little Ash’s, that’s where it loses me.  Now to be fair, I don’t hate Army Of Darkness.  I just don’t like it.  I get why a lot of people love this move though, and I’m not going to hate on anyone who does love it. But it’s just my opinion that at this point in the franchise, it turned too comedic, and I just desperately wanted some creepy deadite action and another pencil in the ankle.

*two annoying heads aren’t better than one*

Well, after a long 21 year wait….my prayers have appeared to be answered. The upcoming Evil Dead (April 5th) re-imaging goes back to it’s 1981 roots and looks like it brings the scary.  Gone are the yuck yucks and goofy Jim Carrey faces and returning in it’s place are tons of gore and tongue slicings. Looks like there will be a tree raping thrown in there too for good measure! Now I haven’t seen the movie yet, so I can’t vouch for the overall finished product, but I can pretty much guarantee that it will be scarier than Evil Dead 2 and Army Of Darkness combined.  Even Bruce Campbell himself has somewhat mocked the hokeyness of Army Of Darkness in recent interviews and confirms that the new Evil Dead will fuck your shit up (his words).  So join me in a toast, to the return of the scary Evil Dead!  It’s been too long baby…..been too long.

*someone needs their morning coffee!*

Get Out The Room Podcast: Featuring Halloween, Trailer Talk, Tyra Banks’ Forehead, And Yours Truly!

Well it finally happened.  It has been suggested that Tyra Banks should have used her big ass forehead to give multiple head butts to Michael Myers in the sh*t Halloween sequel that she starred in, Halloween: Resurrection.  And yes, that’s just one of the many entertaining and insightful tidbits from this week’s Get Out The Room podcast. And along for the ride this time was yours truly!

That’s right, the guys over at this insightful and often hilarious horror podcast asked me to stop by and lend my voice and horror knowledge to such topics as:  American Horror Story, the trailers for the Evil Dead and Carrie remakes, and the Halloween franchise. In addition to that, I give my all-time top 10 list of horror movies, which after more thought, I need to put The Exorcist and The Shining on there (came up with it on the spot and was three beers in, so you do the math).  The guys over at Get Out The Room know their sh*t, so what are you waiting for?  Click HERE, HERE, or HERE and listen now and support their horror cause!

*No Michael!  Don’t do it!  You’ll ruin your chance to become America’s Next Top Horror Model!*

 

Whoa……Footage For The Evil Dead Remake Leaks Online!

Ok – I retract some of what I said about remakes in the previous Carrie post.  I do however stand by my stance on that remake most likely being a shot for shot redux when it’s all said and done.  Now when it was announced that The Evil Dead was being remade earlier in the year, I shook my head non stop for about an hour, leading to a monumental headache and a gross amount of stares from people around me. Ahhh, but then both Sam Raimi (producer on the remake) and Bruce Campbell (also a producer) came out and said that die hard Deadite fans should fear not, because the Evil Dead remake would be: scary, bloody, and waaaay over the top!  Well, thanks to some bootleg camera work from the recent New York Comic Con, we get a glimpse at the madness and trust me when I say, it looks REALLY good!

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xucxpa_stuff_shortfilms?start=16

I don’t even know where to begin with the awesomeness of that bootleg footage.  Fun fact btw:  because this is bootleg footage, therefore “illegal”, watch it while you can because it will most likely be yanked soon until a proper teaser is released.  **See, they took it down already – click HERE to go over to Arrow In The Head and check it out before they take that one down too**  Now, back to the footage.  Many, many nods to the original Evil Dead including:  the hyper camera movement through the woods, blood splattering on the lights, chainsaws, and of course the raping trees.  In addition to that, it looks like a lot more nasty self mutilation is in store and that tongue splitting at the end looked amazing.  If this footage is any indication, they really got this one right people.  And this Evil Dead remake looks like it has the potential to be one of scariest horror movies that has come out in a long time, not to mention one of the goriest.  Keep those fingers crossed everybody and mark April 13th, 2013 down on your horror calendar!

*good luck sleeping tonight after seeing this pic*