A bit of a challenge this week – because you have to beat not one, but two sets of eyes! You can do it though. Just don’t be a dummy and fuck up. Oh, I should mention that one of your opponents is actually a dummy. Focus, my friend. Sir Anthony Hopkins is going to try and break you while gazing into your eyes like a hungry Hannibal Lecter. I would shift your focus to Fats the ventriloquist dummy, because he looks more weak. I wish he would close his mouth though because that’s distracting. Oh wait! A sexy female ventriloquist dummy just came in the room and Fats looked away! You win!! And so does Fats because he’s about to have hot dummy sex in a minute.
I was thinking the other day about SyFy Channel movies. Not sure why necessarily, but they were on my mind. And all of this reminiscing made me think back to one of the first movies I saw on the channel, although not specifically made for it (like Sharknado per say). And that movie was: Mosquito!!!
Mosquito is not only up there with some of the best movies the Syfy Channel has ever put on (Ice Spiders, anyone?), but it also has the late great Gunnar Hansen fighting off these giant blood-thirsty mosquitos with…….wait for it…….a chainsaw!! Oh – I guess the surprise was minimized since I already gave it away in the title of the post. But anyway – if you’re not a believer of Mosquito yet and want to judge for yourself whether or not it sucks (haha), then watch the clip below and enjoy all of the glorious B-movie action. Hahaha – I said ‘sucks’.
I figured that I should probably write something before my entire body is feeling the effects of the tryptophan. So yes, it’s time for another Thanksgiving and another year of giving my readers a few things that I’m thankful for in 2017. So put down your third piece of pumpkin pie and let me grab your attention for a minute.
Guy loses arm in a horrible car crash. Guy gets new arm attached from a convicted serial killer who just recently died on death row. Guy meets other guys who also have had said serial killer’s limbs attached to their bodies as well. Guy stops evil doctors from re-collecting all of the serial killer’s body parts back (oh and there’s an attached severed head in there too somewhere). Sorry. 26-year-old spoiler alerts.
Ah yes. The 1991 movie known as Body Parts. One of actor Jeff Fahey’s finest moments. And Brad Dourif is in it too. Directed and co-written by Eric Red (Bad Moon, The Hitcher, Near Dark), Body Parts is a 90’s horror movie that actually feels soooo 80’s. I mean that as a compliment of course. The storyline, for better or worse, is possibly one of the most ridiculous in terms of believability. But then again, if you’re watching a 90’s horror movie named Body Parts – chances are you’re throwing logic immediately out the window.
I always remember seeing the poster for the movie hanging up in my local video store and appreciating the artistic side of it. I hadn’t watched the actual movie though in quite some time. Rewind back to the other night when I was surfing around through my channel guide and I saw Body Parts pop up on Cinemax (which on certain nights with a title like that, could be an entirely different kind of movie – bow chicka bow bow). I was delighted to see that it still holds up! Minus the obvious dummies used for Brad Dourif’s death scene of course. Sorry. Another 26-year-old spoiler alert. But anyway, if you haven’t experienced the wonders of Eric Red’s Body Parts, then get off your ass and do it! Or just sit on your couch and casually watch it on Cinemax or something.
Over the past few years, I’ve been a bit of a custom horror toy collector. Some might call it an addiction, whereas I call it ‘mind your own business’. So needless to say, I was pretty blown away when I first stumbled upon a company called Death By Toys – and more specifically a custom toy they did for the John Carpenter movie, The Fog. What made it so special, you ask? Because it was unapologetically just some cotton labeled as ‘Some Fog‘ on the front cover of the package. Some might say it was lazy, but I say it was absolutely genius. And from then on, I was a Death By Toys fan and started to build my collection.
Now as you can see from the pic, there is a Happy Birthday To Me kebab playset and also a ‘bunch of pieces’ from the movie Pieces. Again, a fairly simple (and I mean that in a good way) idea that is executed so well that it deserves all of the praise I’m giving it and more. Still not convinced? Go over to the Death By Toys online store HERE and look at some of the other creations and also look at the fact that they are all SOLD OUT. Needless to say, I’m looking forward to any future releases from this company and if you’re a horror fan (or just custom toy fan in general) you should be too. And now I have some spare cotton if I ever need it too.
I just had the pleasure of seeing John Carpenter perform his music live last night (on Halloween nonetheless) for the second time in 2 years. And just like the first time, when I walked away from the concert I thought about one of his movies. And thinking about that movie made me think about an old lady with scissors in her hand. And it also made me think about a bunch of black beetles, but my thoughts had nothing to do with a mannequin challenge. What the hell am I babbling about? Well, this clip from Prince Of Darkness of course!
Prince Of Darkness is probably my favorite ‘least favorite’ John Carpenter movie. The plot and pacing is all over the place. But it has Alice Cooper in it. And it also has the clip above and many more like it that honestly rank up there with Carpenter’s creepiest throughout his career. This clip with the old lady attacking that poor bastard with the scissors definitely has an Argento vibe to me (the close up on the scissors before they strike down), even though I feel there should have been more blood on the scissors – but I digress. Nitpicking is an art.
The point is, that I think every time I do watch Prince Of Darkness – I like it more. It’s a grower, and not an immediate shower for me. Oh – and go check out Mr. Carpenter on his current tour supporting is new Anthology album. Where else are you going to hear the theme from Vampires live, after all?
There’s nothing like an effective creepy beginning scene to a horror movie. Especially a scene that makes you feel uneasy, like if you’re watching a snuff film that you shouldn’t be. Fun Fact: I loved the 2012 movie Sinister. The sequel that came out in 2015, not so much. But the original kinda blew me away, and in the horror world it actually attempted to do something a little different. That’s a rare feat nowadays, and one of the things that I loved about Sinister was the opening scene. No set up. No warning.
I still remember watching this scene in the theater. I squirmed in my seat a little and may have squeezed the hand of the person next to me (who may have been a stranger). Luckily for Sinister, the rest of the movie followed suit with the creepiness (lawn mower scene, anyone?) and we even got a satisfying equally creepy ending too. Too bad Sinister 2 sucked ass, but at least we have the original to fall back on if we ever need to see how it’s done right. I’ll be attending Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights in Hollywood this weekend and they will have a partial maze built around the Sinister universe. If they’re smart, they’ll somehow incorporate this ‘hanging family’ scene into it. Now – fuck you, Sinister for giving me the creeps!
Yeah yeah – not the most shocking and groundbreaking headline, I know. But color me very impressed with the way that Warner Brothers and the folks behind the new IT movie have marketed it’s upcoming September 8th release. Having seen the original 1990 mini-series and recently finishing the original Stephen King novel for the first time, I am more than ready to see this new incarnation of Pennywise ‘The Dancing Clown’ on the big screen. And luckily for all of you as excited as me, there is more than enough fanfare to go around to keep the IT anticipation train rolling.
I was lucky enough to hop aboard the IT: Float cinematic virtual reality school bus a few weeks back at the ScareLA convention in Los Angeles. After boarding the bus and standing in a mock sewer (with creepy audio surrounding you in addition to a jump scare or two), you’re taken to your VR chair where you put on the corresponding headgear and headphones and begin your IT journey through the streets of the town Derry where IT lives. You can actually experience this for yourself HERE if you have the proper equipment. It (no puns) was pretty cool and started to get me more and more onboard with the upcoming movie. As did the recently released 8-bit video game that you can either play on your computer or phone. Check that out HERE.
But by far the best promotional move for IT has come in the form of the actual Neibolt house from the book (this wasn’t really shown or referenced in the 1990 movie). If you’re lucky enough to live or be in the vicinity of Hollywood, then you can experience the IT Experience: Neibolt House on the corner of Hollywood and Vine. It’s pretty amazing that they got this up as fast as they did, and not so amazing is that reservations quickly sold out. Luckily I had some, but if you’re not as fortunate then there is a standby line (with a wait time between 1-3 hours).
You’re guided into the house by Georgie (complete with yellow raincoat and all) and taken up some spiral stairs where you then go from room to room, experiencing some pretty cool animatronics and creepy live actors as well. This limited haunted house runs through the weekend of September 10th. And make sure you snatch up your tickets for the actual IT movie coming out that same weekend on September 8th! All in all, this movie is on track to do in the area of $50 million on opening weekend, which is pretty amazing for any movie in September, let alone an ‘R’ rated horror one. Kudos to anyone involved with the promotion and marketing for IT, because that has really helped spread the word, especially to people not even familiar with the book or original 1990 mini-series. Now who’s ready to float with me?
As an avid Friday The 13th franchise fan, I don’t think it’s any shock that one of the greatest Jason Voorhees kills in it’s history is the infamous ‘sleeping bag’ tree slamming incident from Friday The 13th Part VII: The New Blood. The ‘unedited’ version is much better, complete with a few more whacks and swings – making it at the top, or close to it, on Jason’s highlight reel. And much respect to Mr. Kane Hodder who played Jason in that movie, but did you know that he had some ‘sleeping bag’ kill competition in the form of Bigfoot in 1980? Don’t believe me or don’t believe in Bigfoot? Then just watch the clip below:
Wow. Sign that Bigfoot up for the next Olympics! Did you see that form? No offense to Kane Hodder, but Bigfoot might have you beat as far as sleeping bag tossing skills. But alas, Kane will always get top billing (and rightfully so) – while our friend Bigfoot here comes in a close and hairy second. Oh, I guess I should mention that this clip is from the 1980 movie Night Of The Demon – which shouldn’t be confused with the 1988 movie Night Of The Demons (plural) which has no Bigfoot involved…..just some disappearing lipstick. Stay safe out there campers – there just might be a Bigfoot looming in the forest waiting for his big chance for a gold medal in the 2020 Olympics.
Well, the summer is in full swing. The humidity is at an all time high. The sun is shining brightly while I run around at the beach, enjoying seeing people in bathing suits that they probably shouldn’t be wearing. But you know what? I don’t have a hat to protect me from the dastardly UV rays from the aforementioned sun. I wish I had a blue corduroy Final Destination 2 fisherman hat to help me out……..
Oh, what luck! Thanks to eBay, that is indeed a promotional fisherman hat from the movie Final Destination 2. I’m always amazed at the kind of horror movie promotional items that pop up on there. But anyway, if you are indeed a fan of this movie (to be honest, it was a solid sequel) – then now’s your chance to support it and grab this hat HERE. Starting price of $25 with an option to ‘Make An Offer‘, so that’s always fun. Enjoy and always remember to wear sunscreen and help prevent skin cancer!