Has Anybody Seen My Turkey Baster? (Don’t Breathe – 2016)


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You know, I was just talking to my friend the other day and told him that there is an extreme shortage of semen-filled turkey basters in horror movies nowadays.  Luckily for me, I can go back and revisit the solid 2016 horror/thriller flick Don’t Breathe to get my fix.

For those of you who have not seen Don’t Breathe since it’s release two years ago, I guess I kind of sort of already spoiled the fact that there’s a semen-filled turkey baster scene.  But not just any semen-filled turkey baster scene……THE semen-filled turkey baster scene!  Now watch below as Rocky (Jane Levy) gets her revenge with a (you guessed it) turkey baster.

Now the first thing that comes to mind besides mouthwash after I watch that clip, is how fucking good this movie was.  To me, Don’t Breathe lived up to the hype even though it’s not technically a full-blown horror movie.  A sequel seems to be coming, but if you ask me they should just leave it alone.  And speaking of coming, I do wonder if another turkey baster will make it’s way onto the big screen when the sequel does hit.  We can only dream.

5 Things I’m Thankful For In Horror This Year!

Each Thanksgiving, I like to take a moment and reflect on the year of horror so far and think of five things that I’m thankful for.  Sometimes it’s hard to do after eating a pound of turkey and mashed potatoes, so I’ll give you my list a few days before Turkey Day this time to save you from some sluggish writing.   Continue reading

Review: Don’t Breathe (2016)

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Do you and your friends want to get into the business of robbing a house?  Do you want to make hundreds of thousands of dollars doing it?  Are you quick on your feet and able to escape the clutches of a vengeful blind man?  Do you have a fear of turkey basters?  If you answered yes to the first three questions and no to the second, then you’re ready to begin! And I’m now ready to begin my review of director Fede Alvarez’s second feature film, Don’t Breathe.   Continue reading

Anticipation Alert: Don’t Breathe (2016)

Fede Alvarez’s Evil Dead remake in 2013 was a breath of fresh gory air as far as horror remakes go.  It gave enough nods and winks to the original, but managed to up the gross-out factor X 10 with some impressive practical effects throughout the experience.  I still can’t carve a turkey without thinking of an arm getting sawed off.  Well now Alvarez’s follow-up feature is finally coming in the form of Don’t Breathe – a movie that’s getting pretty solid early reviews for being a tense little ‘trapped in the house’ thriller.

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The teaser poster is simple, but effective.  The plot behind Don’t Breathe is about a group of teenagers who break into rich people’s houses to further their own economic status by stealing shit that isn’t theirs.  Only problem is that they choose a blind guy as their latest victim and, you guessed it, the tables get turned!  Originally titled A Man In The Dark (which I might like better actually), it sounds like a refreshing idea to the someone tired premise of being ‘trapped in a house’.  Oh – and it stars Jane Levy who was in Alvarez’s Evil Dead as well.

Blind people in horror movies usually aren’t too successful in their quest to stay alive (I’m looking at you Suspiria and The Beyond), so to have a blind person get revenge on a bunch of kids trying to rob him sounds like a good time to me!  As I stated earlier, the early buzz on this is that it’s pretty good, so stay tuned for a trailer hopefully dropping soon and a release date.  In the meantime, do as the title says and don’t breathe.  Actually, go ahead and breathe or you may have some health issues.