Tag Archives: french horror movies

Ebay Find Of The Week: Promotional ‘High Tension’ Matches And Keychain!

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If you’ve seen the 2005 French horror movie High Tension, then chances are that you either LOVE it or HATE it – all primarily based on the twist that comes in the end.  It’s a twisty twist and seems to divide most High Tension watchers.  Me myself, I loved it.  And because I loved it, I was pretty stoked to see these promotional items on eBay this week!

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High Tension matches and a keychain!  Not exactly groundbreaking, but still pretty cool nonetheless.  The ‘barbed wire bat’ keychain is symbolic and not for anything to do with Negan from The Walking Dead.  Now, if you are a High Tension fan like me then you might want to head on over to the eBay link HERE and contemplate if you need some matches for anything.  The price ($25) is a tad rich for my blood, but there’s always a chance that the seller will come down with the price.  Now excuse me while I go put on the song ‘New Born‘ by Muse and think about any exes of mine who did me wrong…….

So, About This ‘Martyrs’ Remake…….

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I haven’t went on a good rant in a while.  And what better place to start it back up than with this upcoming remake of the amazing 2008 French horror movie, Martyrs.

I’ll save my breath about Hollywood and the fact that they can’t come up with any original ideas anymore for horror movies, let alone movies in general.  The soon-to-be released Poltergeist remake looks pretty much like a CGI-infused carbon copy of the original.  And don’t get me started on this “exact script as the original” version for the Cabin Fever that’s going to be forced upon us soon.  But none gets my blood boiling more than the upcoming remake of Martyrs, a truly original and mesmerizing horror masterpiece in my opinion that not only punches you in the gut while you watch it, but makes you contemplate something as important and thought provoking as afterlife.  Oh, and it’s got one amazing shotgun blast death scene too.

Tremendous, isn’t it?  If you’ve seen the original Martrys, then I don’t have to tell you it goes to places that most American films don’t have the balls to go to. And therein lies the problem with this remake.  I just don’t have an ounce of faith that it will take you to where the original went and make you feel what the original made you feel in the end.  Martyrs was one of the only horror movies that literally made me sit in silence after I watched it for a good 15 minutes or so.  But who knows….maybe the directing duo of The Goetz Brothers (there are two of them, so maybe that’s an advantage) will prove me wrong and deliver something faithful and honorable to that 2008 version.  At least they’re not overselling it already and calling it ‘The Ultimate Horror Movie‘ or anything like that.

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Fuck……

Heads Up: ‘Bookcase Death’ From ‘High Tension’ (2003)

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Who loves a good horror movie decapitation?  I know…….we all do!  And because of that unified love for noggin knockers, I’m going to start doing a recurring feature called ‘Heads Up‘.  It’s a play on words.

The first poor bastard to be put under the beheading spotlight is Alex’s father from the 2003 French horror slasher, High Tension.  Now, I kind of feel bad for this guy.  He was just trying to get some sleep and somebody has to go ringing his damn door buzzer.  Gotta give our killer some originality points though for being aware of his surroundings and for being fond of wood.  I’m pretty sure it’s a first as far as ‘death by bookcases’ go.  Is it silly?  Yes.  Is it awesome?  Of course.  So click below and join in on the severed head festivities with me!

Anticipation Alert: Among The Living (2014)

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Anyone who asks me to recommend a horror film from the last 10 years will automatically get one of two responses:  Martyrs (2008) or Inside (2007)

Both are French horror movies and both are pretty fucked up in their own right. Also, both are near masterpieces in this writer’s opinion, with Inside probably narrowly edging out Martyrs for being my favorite out of the two.  In 2011, the Inside writer/director team of Alexandre Bustillo and Julien Maury gave us their fresh take on the vampire subgenre with Livide, and now they’re getting back to glorious basics this year with Among The Living:

A lot of things are going on in that trailer, which unfortunately is completely in French, and my interest piqued even more when I saw a clown mask pop up. Among The Living looks like a more demented and fucked up version of Stand By Me, and considering I love that movie as much as I do – it’s not a surprise that I’m completely on board with this one.  Stylistically it looks great and the tension seems to be in full effect, much like it was during Inside. Judging from the fact that Among The Living is already receiving high praise from film festival reviews, this one has made it to the top of my list for this year’s most anticipated horror movies.

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Horror Movies Can Be Romantic Too…….

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The day is finally here.  The day where women everywhere wait on pins and needles for flowers to arrive at work so they can gloat and show them off to those women who didn’t receive flowers.  Yes, it’s Valentine’s Day.  And if you’re single, prepare to drink heavily to forget about the fact that you’re single.  But if you’re a couple, a romantic movie just might be in your future.

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Another viewing of The Proposal perhaps?  You know we can’t get enough of that zany Sandra Bullock.  What about having another round of The Notebook for the 867th time?  Ryan Gosselin might get even more dreamy this time.  Nah….fuck all of that.  Fellas, when your significant other isn’t looking, I suggest sneaking to the DVD player and popping in something like 2003’s French horror film, High Tension for some atmosphere.

See?  It’s French!  And the French are known for being romantic.  Speaking of, the original title is Switchblade Romance.  It has ‘romance’ in the title!  What more do you want???  And what a romantic movie it is.  Oh sure, it’s got the occasional guy using a severed head to give himself sexual gratification, but the love that our main character Marie shows for Alexia is like no other.  Forgot to mention the lesbian undertones, but that should only intrigue you more.  Not only that, but it has one of the best throat slits in a movie EVER!  See for yourself below:

Now that’s amore!  Can’t you just feel the warmth in the air?  Careful though, that might actually be some of the blood that came spewing out of that poor woman’s throat in the clip.  High Tension proves that you can have your cake and eat it too.  You want a romantic movie?  Done.  You want a ridiculous gory horror movie?  Done.  The bottom line:  Don’t ignore horror on this holiest of holy days for lovers.  You just might be surprised how much a head being decapitated by a bookcase will set the mood.  Happy Valentine’s Day!