Give Me The Creeps: The Exorcism Scene From ‘The Wailing’ (2016)

If you read my ‘Best Of 2016’ list, then you know that the Korean horror film The Wailing sat proudly atop it.  There wasn’t much I could find wrong with this movie – except that I felt uncomfortable every time they called the stranger in the town ‘The Jap’.  Speaking of uncomfortable, no scene in recent memory (except maybe something in Baskin) made me as uncomfortable and creeped out as the exorcism scene in The Wailing.

If you haven’t seen the movie, then I maybe wouldn’t watch the following clip.  But, if you are the type that likes things spoiled for them – then by all means click away!

I don’t know much about exorcisms or the right/wrong way to conduct them, but dammit if that shaman wasn’t giving it his all!  You get an ‘A’ for effort, my good man.  More specifically, this whole scene gets an ‘A’ as the back and forth scenes between the shaman attempting to exorcise a demon from the little girl and the stranger (or Jap) performing his own ritual to try and stop it are about as mesmerizing and creepy as filmmaking can get.  Literally felt hypnotized as I watched this.  And then felt uneasy and dirty because it gave me the creeps and I felt the need for a shower afterwards.  Please see The Wailing if you haven’t already, and please hire that shaman if you need some good exorcism work done!

Give Me The Creeps: ‘The Biting Of The Penis’ From ‘The Last House On The Left’ (1972)

Well, if you read the title of the post, then you already know what road we’re going down.  Yeah, it’s the ‘dick biting’ road unfortunately.  Many things can give me the creeps in horror movies.  A disturbing doll sitting in the corner.  A child giggling before killing someone.  And most of all, watching a guy get his dick bitten off by a vengeful mother.  You see, anything done to that region of the body in a movie that inflicts pain usually will make me squirm in my seat like nothing else.  And one of the originators of this said act of violence was the late and great Wes Craven’s shocker, The Last House On The Left:

Fun fact for those who haven’t seen the movie – that guy who just got his junk chomped on is named Weasel.  Fitting.  So, a couple things after re-watching that clip.  And no, I will not mention that fact the Weasel can apparently “finish” 5 or 6 times if he wants to.  I guess I just did mention that though.

The main thing is that I was reminded of how awesome The Last House On The Left soundtrack is.  The music that kicks in when Estelle is about to do the dirty dick deed is pretty amazing and makes me think I’m playing a video game.  I don’t know that I could ever say “Oh, sweet Mama – here I come!” when I’m with a girl by the way.  Anywho, Weasel had that shit coming for being a disgusting rapist.  But man oh man – it doesn’t make it any less uncomfortable for a man to watch, and it still gives me the creeps.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go count my blessings that I have my penis.

Give Me The Creeps: The Gate (1987)

Back in the late 80’s, I was in full horror movie swing.  Two-fisting rentals from my local video store, I would have marathons with everything I was renting, and take the occasional break to masturbate.  Too much info?  I was coming of age, so deal with it.  Already at that moment in my life where I scoffed at PG and PG-13 horror movies, I would usually go straight for the ‘Rated R’ flicks and steer clear of those made for the “kiddies”.  However, there were actually quite a few PG and PG-13 rated horror movies back then that were worthy of my eyes (Critters comes to mind), but only one really creeped me out and still does to this day.  And that would be……….The Gate!

The Gate is one of those horror movies that feels like it’s Rated R, but it’s not.  There’s goop, slime, blood, zombies, little demons, bigger demons, and satanic rock albums – but on a level that was able to grant the movie a PG-13 rating in 1987.  The old man zombie always creeped me out when he busts through the wall, and then through a mirror before falling to the ground and bursting into a bunch of the little demons.  But the other scene that gets under my skin is when the kids discover the dead dog (with tongue hanging out to boot) and Glen (Stephen Dorff) goes to the front door of the house to see his parents greeting him outside.

That scene made me never want to be bad as a kid anymore, for fear that my Dad would grab me by the neck if I did and say “You’ve been bad!!!“.  I’d feel bad if I had to gouge his demon head out with my hands though, and have his slimy insides get all over me while my Mom laughed in the background.  But yeah, that scene still creeps me out and the movie as a whole (even though some of it hasn’t aged well) still is as enjoyable as it was for me back in 1987.  Could this possibly be ready for a remake or reboot?  I’m looking at you Stephen Dorff.  You don’t really have anything going on.

Give Me The Creeps: The Old Lady In ‘It Follows’

This is not to upset any of my readers who are senior citizens, but old people can really creep me out.  I think I’m still traumatized by visions of the lady in the bathtub from The Shining.  Hell, and don’t even get me started on Rabid Grannies.  So anyway, as I was revisiting last years ‘love it or hate it’ horror movie It Follows – I was once again reminded just how much the geriatric folk get under my skin…….

Obviously the amazing score from Disasterpeace helps accentuate that scene and many others in the film.  But even without any music, this scene would still have me twitching with uncomfortableness.  Like I said earlier, love it or hate – It Follows nailed certain aspects of what’s missing in horror nowadays.  And creepy slow-walking elderly people is one of them.  I’m talking more so about the overall feel of the movie of course, but if you never worried about looking out a window and seeing an old lady in a hospital gown slowly walking towards you – I bet you will now.  Btw – would you just fight them off with Bengay or dentures or something?

Give Me The Creeps: The Curse (1987)

You would think that being a farmer would have it’s advantages…..like being able to eat corn whenever you want or ride a tractor at night just for the fuck of it.  But farming isn’t all unlimited delicious fruit and games.  Sometimes, if you’re not careful – a storm will come and unleash a suspicious glowing force onto your farm and your family.  And then you’ll turn into a bunch of pus-faced monsters and that’s never good.  Oh – and your fruit and vegetables will have worms in them too.  Bummer!

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I have to give it up to the 1987 underrated gem, The Curse.  I was pretty confident that I would never be creeped out by a horror movie that took place on a farm.  But dammit if this didn’t give me the creeps as a kid and still does today.  Thanks to The Curse, I always hesitate slightly before biting into an apple.  Fun fact btw:  I actually did bite into an apple when I was younger and it was full of worms.  That was before this movie, but maybe it was a prophecy that I would some day see a movie that would make me revisit my fear of wormy apples.  Whatever the case, The Curse is definitely one of those little horror movies that has some big creepy moments.  And it has John Schneider from The Dukes Of Hazzard to boot!  Check out the clip below to see some of the aforementioned creepiness:

Give Me The Creeps: The Opening Scene From ‘Children Of The Corn’ (1984)

Growing up living next to a cornfield, there were always certain things that worried me.  What if the scarecrows came to life and attacked my house in the middle of the night?  Or what if I was running through the cornfield chasing after a baseball and one of the cornstalk leaves accidentally slit my throat? Better still – what if a group of kids in town decided to murder all of the adults to ensure a successful corn harvest and sacrifice someone in the cornfield to appease a God called ‘He Who Walks Behind The Rows‘?  That last one sounds like something from a movie.  Oh – it is from a movie!  Duh.

When the movie adaptation of Stephen King’s short story for Children Of The Corn came out in 1984, I remember watching it on cable around that same time as a young boy.  I had just started getting into horror movies, so I was adventurous and hadn’t really been affected by anything except maybe the truck explosion scene in George Romero’s Night Of The Living Dead.  But dammit if that opening scene to Children Of The Corn still doesn’t fuck me up:

Three things come to mind when I watch that clip:

–  The coffee in Gatlin, Nebraska is pretty terrible.  

–  Milkshake whipped cream mustaches are funny even during mass murders.

–  If you need to test the effectiveness of your meat slicer, put someone’s hand in it. 

Now unfortunately, the rest of the movie didn’t live up to the hype of the opening scene.  Sure, we get a pretty good bad guy in Isaac and get a classic line from his right hand man Malachai (“Outlander!!!!!  We have your woman!”) – but overall everything was downhill after the intro for the most part.  But what an intro it was, and it’s quite the high honor that it kind of still gives me the creeps.  So to recap, Children Of The Corn opening scene = good.  The rest of Children Of The Corn = not so good.  Now let’s see a pic of Malachai’s luscious red hair to round this sucker out.

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Give Me The Creeps: ‘Land Of Confusion’ Video By Genesis (1986)

Back in the golden age of MTV (when they actually played music videos), one of the most highly watched videos was for ‘Land Of Confusion‘ by Genesis in 1986.  Comprised of puppets from the UK show Spitting Image, it was a marvelous social commentary on the 80’s, centering around then President Ronald Reagan.  Oh yeah – and it completely scared the shit out of me.

To this day, I can’t watch that video without feeling uneasy – and it’s not just because of the uncomfortableness of the giant ape in bed in-between Ronald and Nancy.  Yes, that’s disturbing – as is the random guy eating his own tongue between a hot dog bun, with ketchup and mustard applied of course. Puppets in general creep me out, and this video had creepy puppet overload going on.  I could never look at Phil Collins in the same way after first watching this, not that I really had a fascination with looking at him before this.  Nice touch with the severed puppet heads at the beginning of the video by the way. So kudos to you, ‘Land Of Confusion‘ video…..you were the first (and only) creepy puppet music video to ever give me the creeps.

Give Me The Creeps: The Window Scene From ‘Salem’s Lot’ (1979)

What the hell were my parents thinking when they let me watch Salem’s Lot on TV when I was 6-years-old?  Well, thanks Mom & Dad – because I’m still having nightmares about a ghostly floating vampire boy scratching at my window, just begging to be let in.

Not many TV movies nowadays could give me the creeps (unless the acting in Sharknado counts), and Salem’s Lot definitely succeeded there numerous times.  Released as a TV mini-series that was based on the novel by Stephen King, this is easily one of the better vampire horror movies around.  The window scene is the true master here (sorry, Barlow) and that is the scene that makes me grab at my blankey extra tight.  I’ll leave it up to you, the reader, to determine if I really do still have a blankey.  But anyway, high praise goes out to you Salem’s Lot and your creepy ass window scene – you will forever give me nightmares.  Oh, Hi Barlow!  How long have you been standing there?

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Give Me The Creeps: The Food Of The Gods (1976)

I grew up with a pretty extreme fear of giant rats and chickens.  Clearly that sounds ridiculous, but try telling that to a 7-year-old boy who watched 1976’s The Food Of The Gods on public television one Saturday afternoon.    Continue reading

Give Me The Creeps: ‘Cheryl’s Possession’ From ‘The Evil Dead’ (1981)

I remember the first time I saw The Evil Dead.  My sister had seen it the night before at a slumber party (because slumber parties were all the rage in the 80’s), and came home with the VHS telling me it was the scariest movie she’d ever seen.  Being the sceptic that I am, and was as an 8-year-old boy back then, I told her she was full of shit.  At which point my Mom stuck a bar of soap in my mouth.  So I pushed my skepticism aside and sat down to watch it.

Oh look – five kids in an old cabin.  Scotty tells everyone to “Party down!!”. Hey, they found an old tape recorder in the basement with some creepy guy talking about demons and junk like that.  Uh oh – a girl just got raped by some trees.  And then…….the possession of Cheryl is revealed:

Yikes!  This is the moment when I was all in on The Evil Dead.  I know, I should been all in at the tree raping, but it was Cheryl’s possession reveal that gave me the creeps – so it wins.  The levitation and the voice with her head rolling around back and forth challenged my nerves, but it was actually the somewhat cheesy makeup effects that did it for me.  Probably those white eyes.  Which are an understandable side effect after being taken against your will by demonic tree branches I guess.  Note to self by the way:  Don’t leave any unattended pencils lying around if a possessed body collapses near me.

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