Easily one of my favorite horror remakes of all time is 1988’s, The Blob. So many reasons for this statement: Shawnee Smith, the sink drain kill scene, Shawnee Smith, the kid getting demolished by The Blob in the sewer, Shawnee Smith, the amazing retro vibe that the movie has, and of course – Shawnee Smith. Yes, I had a small crush on her back in the days. But one moment trumps all of these things. One thing so spectacular….so breathtakingly special….so inspiring and monumental that words can’t do it any justice. I’m talking about………
………Kevin Dillon’s hair!!!! Oh yeah. The mullet was still all the rage in 1988, but let’s be serious here – the mullet never loses it’s hypnotic luster. I recently sat down with The Blob again and found myself getting lost in those dreamy locks, and it proved to be quite distracting. How the hell am I supposed to watch Paul get swallowed up by The Blob when all I can think about is when Kevin Dillon’s hair will come back onscreen and grace us with it’s presence. It’s definitely a problem. I manage though, and get through the whole movie but find myself having mullet withdrawals afterwards. And it’s because of this, that Kevin Dillion is undoubtedly part of the ‘Great Moments In Horror Hair History‘ club! Is there anything you’d like to add to this post, Shawnee Smith?
Not many things could upstage a scene in a horror movie where a demonic creature pisses on a priest and “baptizes” him. But a sweet mullet haircut sure as hell could.
Rawhead Rex is a 1986 hilariously ‘bad but good’ horror movie that was conceived by the master mind of Clive Barker. I’m not going to get too much into the storyline that revolves around an evil pagan god with big ass teeth tearing some shit up in a little Irish town. I’m talking about hair here! And my oh my does Rawhead Rex have a sweet set of locks on that big cranium of his. The hair definitely has a Gene Simmons kind of texture to it, but if anything – that makes it even more amazing. So because of that alone, it’s no surprise to proclaim that Rawhead Rex and his hair was indeed a Great Moment In Horror Hair History!
“In the still of the night I hear the wolf howl, honey – sniffin’ around your door!!!!!” Sorry, I had to get my quick Whitesnake karaoke fix in written form considering I’m about to do a story about Tawny Kitaen who was famous for sexing it up in their videos. We’re strictly talking hair here though, which in many ways can be equally as sexy. In 1986, Tawny and her ginger locks starred in Kevin Tenney’s underrated horror flick, Witchboard.
Breathtaking. When Tawny wasn’t fighting off the powers of an evil Ouija board in the movie, she was flaunting her 80’s hair around like nobody’s business. And what a mesmerizing mane it was. It’s not everyday that hair takes center stage over a murderous Ouija board, but in this case it did. And I for one, had no complaints at all. So with that being said, I can easily announce that Tawny Kitaen’s hair in Witchboard was a Great Moment In Horror Hair History! Now let’s reminisce and watch her have some fun on top of some automobiles.
Ronald McDonald had the ‘red hair game’ on lock for years. He owned it, and was reluctant to ever give up his crimson crown and dared anyone to try and challenge him for it. But in 1985, Linnea Quigley and her breasts burst onto the scene in the B-movie horror classic, The Return Of The Living Dead. And in a rare moment, her red hair in the movie upstaged those breasts and snatched that aforementioned crimson crown from the creepy-ass McDonald’s mascot.
Ms. Quigley gave us three fantastic things in The Return Of The Living Dead: her character’s name (Trash), her nude graveyard dance, and her punk-influenced red mop on top. And it’s that red mop on top that is truly a ‘Great Moment In Horror Hair History‘ and is more than deserving to be in the illustrious company of Shelly’s Jewfro from Friday The 13th Part 3 and Rider Strong’s armpits from Cabin Fever. Also deserving, is the way that Trash knew how to really sit and conduct herself like a lady. Spread eagle is always an underrated classic and should be commended. Congrats, Linnea!
The armpit is a body part that just doesn’t get the respect and admiration that it deserves. It’s associated with smelliness, which is such a drag considering that the armpit has so much more to offer than that. If only someone could show us that this underprivileged section of the body is more than something that can turn someone’s nose up in disgust. If only someone could show us the beauty of an underarm. If only………………………….
Behold! And possibly shield your eyes if you must. Rider Strong’s armpit hair in 2002’s, Cabin Fever! Somewhere, Locks Of Love is keeping a sharp eye on these impressive hairy specimens. I liked Cabin Fever for what it was, but when these bushy beauties showed up on-screen, they were definitely a scene stealer. Even Cerina Vincent’s leg shaving fiasco was almost in trouble of being dethroned as the number one Cabin Fever moment (I said almost). Her infected gams are safe in the top spot, but it’s to no one’s surprise that I hereby proclaim that Rider Strong’s armpits are easily a Great Moment In Horror Hair History!
The Jewfro. A hairstyle that not many could pull off. A hairstyle that can be a bit distracting. And a hairstyle that’s pretty self-explanatory: A Jewish person that has an afro. And in 1982, one man brought this hairstyle to the forefront in the third entry of the Friday The 13th franchise. Behold! Shelly and his tantalizing Jewfro!
Ok. Maybe not the best picture to accentuate it, but you get the idea. Shelly sure was a jokester and pretty ticklish as was evident in the scene above, but none of his friends in Friday The 13th Part III ever joked with him about his curly mop on top. Sure they made fun of him for being annoying and slightly overweight, but his hair was off limits. That’s obviously because of how glorious it was. And quite practical too. Imagine all of the great things he could hide in there! A stapler. His wallet. A jar of vaseline. The possibilities are endless.
So today we honor you Shelly (inspirational music starts to play), and your Jewfro that unknowingly became your sidekick up until you got your throat slit by Jason and had your hockey mask stolen. There will never be another one quite like yours, and you will forever remain on top of that horror movie Jewfro mountain that so few people inhabit (music swells and ends with a big over the top crescendo).
A nice set of hair can really make a movie. Sure it can be distracting, but when it’s luxurious and instantly camera-ready, it will make your viewing experience all the more enjoyable. Welcome to Great Moments In Horror Hair History! A place where you’ll get an eye full of glorious locks from the world of horror cinema past and present. Just try not to get too aroused.
My first induction into this illustrious category is Buddy Repperton from 1983’s killer car movie, Christine. Buddy is a bully, but Buddy’s hair is anything but. It’s dreamy and the added mutton chop sideburns only enhance the appearance. All of his bullying can be easily forgotten once you gaze your eyes upon his impressive mane. Prepare yourself ladies (and some gentlemen too). I give to you: Buddy Repperton’s hair!