New Haunted House Alert: The Blumhouse Of Horrors (LA)

The Haunted House.  One of the great things that the world seems to offer besides Flamin Hot Fritos and Three’s Company reruns.  And boy do I love me a good haunted house!  I remember when I was a young Indiana boy, I turned my studio apartment sized family garage into my own scary shack! Oooooooooh – watch out!  Or you might get a flannel blanketed ghost thrown at you!  And don’t look now – or that creepy Cabbage Patch Kid that I have hidden in the corner might make you sh*t your pants! All in good fun, and it only furthered my love for horror and for the haunted house. Luckily, I have a lady by my side who frequents Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights with me every year to satisfy my spookhouse craving.

*do you think my matching ugly ass oufit takes away from my uninspired mask?*

Which brings me to the point of this post, which is to announce that Los Angeles is getting a new haunted house just in time for Halloween and Columbus Day!  Film producer Jason Blum (Paranormal Activity, Insidious, Sinister) is turning the Variety Arts Theatre in downtown LA into his very own intense haunted attraction, The Blumhouse Of Horrors.  Guests who dare to attend will explore the corridors of the possessed theatre, whose stage was once home to one of the world’s most twisted and dark magicians.  Hopefully it’s not Whizzo from the old Bozo Show – that would be a disappointment. Anyway, the doors open to the public on October 4th and presale tickets are on sale now and you can get them HERE.  If it’s one thing that Jason Blum knows, it’s creepy, so my expectations are high for this!  And speaking of creepy, what say you Whizzo?

*it’s totally safe to leave your kids around me!*

 

Review: V/H/S (2012)

Let me start by saying, I’m not a huge fan of the “found footage” horror film.  I know it’s supposed to be more “believable”, but most of the time it just doesn’t do it for me. Which is why I was surprised when I was ready to dive into the new horror anthology, V/H/S, without swimmies on.  Strictly based of off the red band trailer, I was all set to see if this new take on the overused “found footage” gimmick would leave me wanting more.  Or would it leave me throwing up from the sure to be used shaky cam – a wonderful “realistic” tactic found in almost all “found footage” movies.  I think I’ve met my “quotation” quota for the post btw.  Good news is that I loved it.  Bad news though is that I hated it.  Let me explain…..

*I didn’t know Daniel Craig was in this movie! Awesome!*

As with any anthology movie, you’re going to have some of the stories faring better than others.  The problem with V/H/S though is that it’s so uneven and starts so strong, that by the time the end of the movie came, I felt like it had already blown it’s load waaaaay too early.  Hey – it happens to the best of us buddy.    Continue reading

Anticipation Alert: Rob Zombie’s The Lords Of Salem

Ok.  Get prepared to grab your tar and feathers and think of other medieval ways to torture me.  I like Rob Zombie.  And yes, for the most part, I like Rob Zombie’s movies (ducks a flying rotten tomato).  Now upfront, I will say that I didn’t overly like his Halloween re-imaging, but thought it hit enough notes to justify it a decent unnecessary remake/reboot.  And the sequel had me for the opening 20 mins (love the hospital carnage), but then completely lost me and I became bored to the point where I was counting how many moles I had on my arm.  But let’s be real here – this wasn’t Rob Zombie’s lane.  Numerous studio interference issues hindered these Halloween flicks (not that it would have mattered that much honestly), and his real bread & butter was and always has been House Of 1000 Corpses and The Devil’s Rejects (Roger Ebert even loved the Fireflys).

*does this mask make my face look fat?*

Now the reason for this post though isn’t to talk about Zombie’s mediocre Halloween franchise, but to rejoice in the fact that he’s back at directing and writing an original story with The Lords Of Salem.    Continue reading