We need more horror movies based around a diner where two brothers murder people to appease their dead serial killer uncle, attempting to resurrect a goddess named Sheetar. What? There’s no market for that anymore? Pfffft. But anyway, who remembers Blood Diner???? That wacky horror/comedy directed by Jackie Kong that developed a strong cult following since it’s 30-some year old release in 1987. Yes, the movie is tremendous trash – but I want to talk about the original poster, which I remember used to hang in my local Mom & Pop video store.
God I love that poster! Oh, and that tagline “First They Greet You, Then They Eat You.” is perfection. I know I’m beating a dead horse here, but there really wasn’t a better time for horror than in the 80’s. The posters alone were on another level, and this Blood Diner one is no exception. During that time, even if the movie ended up being crap – a good poster would lure you in and make you grab it off the shelf to take home and pop into your dusty-ass VHS player. But enough of my blabbering about the days of old…….go watch Blood Diner if you haven’t already! If you don’t, Sheetar will be paying you a visit.
Sometimes I like to just gaze upon poster art for 80’s horror movies. And a lot of times, that poster art is better than the actual movie. So, let’s see……I wonder if the 1983 movie Mausoleum is all poster art and ‘no bite’, as far as the actual movie goes. I’ll get to the latter in a minute, as I recently re-visited Mausoleum on Amazon Prime. But first……the poster!
Well damn. Isn’t she a beauty. The ‘dripping blood’ font in the title….the predictable, but clever tagline (Centuries of evil have just awakened)….and the rather cool looking skeleton gripping the mausoleum. All signs point to the poster art being better than the movie! But seriously folks – how fun were the 80’s when it came to horror?
Speaking of fun – did you know that none other than Aunt Esther from Sanford and Son (LaWanda Page) is in this movie??? Oh – and her scene is soooooo Aunt Esther. But anyway – like I said, I recently watched Mausoleum again and……it stinks. But in a good 80’s horror stinky way. Like some aged cheese. The poster art still gives me a horror boner, but if you have time and want a good time – seek out Mausoleum and embrace the 80’s madness!
I’m sucker for fangs. Ahhhhhh – see what I did there? Unintentional puns are the best! So it’s really no surprise that one of my favorite horror movie posters of all time is for the 1986 horror/comedy hybrid Vamp.
Quite honestly, it’s a gorgeous poster. Now just a quick sidebar: If you haven’t seen Vamp, then you might not get the subtle awesomeness of the poster. This post is strictly about just that, so I won’t disclose my feelings on the actual movie (but with Grace Jones, vampires, boobs, and pure cheesiness – how can you go wrong?).
The poster is simple, but it works. The red from the lips pops right off, with the ‘V’ and the ‘M’ in the title forming a pair of fangs of course. This movie is about vampires, so fangs are a must somewhere on the poster. The only thing I’m not jazzed about is the Vamp tagline “A Frightening Comedy“. Meh. Pretty boring and could have used something more fun and clever to coincide with the tone of the movie. But overall, I honestly love this poster and would display it proudly on a wall next to my Grace Jones shrine. Fangs for reading this post and look out for the next installment of ‘Horror Movie Posters I Love‘!
Here’s a fun little story: I remember being a kid, we’ll say I was about 8-years-old. I woke up in the middle of the night and went out into the living room and my Mom was watching TV. I asked her what she was watching – and she said “Some movie called Humongous. Now get your ass back to bed”. And that’s how I learned about the 1982 horror movie called Humongous!
But I’m not here to talk about my Mom scolding me for being up in the middle of the night while she caught up on her random 80’s horror movies. I’m here to talk about the awesomeness of the poster for Humongous.
Now is Humongous a good horror movie? Nope – hardly not. But it does get to brag and boast about it’s poster which has a pretty great tagline: It’s loose….It’s angry….And it’s getting hungry! I love me a good tagline. I also love the baby building blocks that spell out the name of the movie as well. Sure it’s cheesy, but I don’t mind cheese. Especially cheddar. Do you need to seek out Humongous and watch it? Probably not. But you can gaze your eyes upon that poster and realize and understand why 80’s horror was just so great. Viva la 80’s horror! Btw – what the hell was my Mom watching this movie for?
One of the strangest (and somewhat entertaining) movies I remember witnessing in the 80’s was The Beast Within. Granted, I was only 6-years-old when this movie came out so I didn’t get a chance to go to the theater and see it. Had I been old enough though, I would have seen a poster in the lobby for the film warning me: BEWARE! This Motion Picture Contains Scenes Of Graphic And Violent Horror.
A tactic commonly used for older horror films, the warning shown on the poster would have only made me want to see The Beast Within even more. Hence why I love this particular poster. Not only that, I love the color contrast of the red and black and also the font for ‘Beast‘ written across the silhouetted outline of Michael about to transform into Billy. Slight spoiler alert there.
Another spoiler alert would be that there’s an uncomfortable rape scene towards the end of the movie. Kudos to The Beast Within for using practical effects btw, even if it evokes more laughter than terror. Don’t believe me? Check out the legendary (I like to throw that term around loosely) transformation below, and if that doesn’t sell you on the movie – nothing will.
Movies with two names kind of annoy me. But so is usually the case when we’re talking about the Italian horror genre. No matter if you want to call Dario Argento’s 1985 psychic/insect movie Creepers or Phenomena, it has one of the best posters EVER!
Now for whatever reason, there is a version of this poster that isn’t exposing Jennifer Connelly’s half-decaying bug face, but clearly the un-edited version is the keeper here. The image above is actually an ad for the promotion of the VHS version of Creepers, but the tagline on the original poster is “It Will Make Your Skin Crawl“. Fitting, considering there are a bunch of bugs flying around that could actually make your skin crawl.
I have to confess that I haven’t seen this movie in years. And after looking at this poster again, I definitely need to revisit it. Not only does it have the late great Donald Pleasence in it, but how the fuck can you go wrong with a movie that has Iron Maiden and Motorhead on the soundtrack? Another thing that this poster is making me realize is that we need more horror movies about bugs. Whether it’s spiders, cockroaches, or maybe a random remake of 1988’s movie about killer slugs appropriately titled Slugs – everyone can relate to bugs! Get on that Hollywood. Until then, it’s off to Amazon to purchase Creepers or Phenomena or whatever the hell you want to call it.
I’ve always been a bit scared of going into the ocean and I guess I have Jaws to thank for most of that fear. Truth be told though, I think I’m more scared of jellyfish. But what about the sand???? What if something besides crabs lurked in the sand???? Newsflash in case you didn’t know, but in 1980 there was a movie called Blood Beach that explored that very thought. It’s a ‘so crappy, so good’ type of movie, but boy oh boy – what a poster it had!
She’s really selling that ‘Oh my god I’m being swallowed into the sand!‘ expression, isn’t she? Kudos on the Jaws-biting tagline btw. This was at the beginning of the booming 80’s horror craze where basically anything went. Including killer sand apparently. Gotta love it though, and I absolutely LOVE this poster! It embodies everything that was great about 80’s horror movies and it definitely catches your eye for more than one reason. That’s a pretty snazzy purple leopard-print bikini by the way. Go seek out Blood Beach if you haven’t seen it (screen vets John Saxon and Burt Young are involved), and I apologize if I’ve given you Eremikophobia. That’s the fear of sand – see, you learned something from this post.
What the hell happened to the good horror movie posters? They seem far and between now unfortunately, which is pretty depressing since they’re sometimes the best thing about a movie. Not the case with the cinematic gem I’m highlighting this time around on ‘Horror Movie Posters I Love‘ though. Ladies and gentleman, I present to you the poster for the 1989 underrated slasher flick: I, Madman
I used to have this poster hanging on my closet door when I was 13 years old. True story. Now, I could honestly go on and on about my love for the actual movie, but I’m focusing on the poster here. It’s captures exactly what the film is about in it’s style and even has a couple cheesy 80’s taglines to round the awesomeness out. I’m always a sucker for a good hypodermic needle too. I, Madman is a fairly original horror gem if you haven’t seen it, and this poster does the movie tons of justice. Seek the movie out if you can my friends (you can find a cheap copy on Ebay), and until then just keep dazing up at that horror poster goodness.
I love a good pun. And something that I love even more than good puns are slimy green creatures with bad teeth that stick their heads up out of toilets. So, naturally it was a win-win situation for me when I first gazed upon the poster for Ghoulies back in 1985.
Take a good look at that beauty of a poster……because the actual movie is pretty awful so the poster is really all that we have going for us unfortunately. Yes, Ghoulies as a film is not good. But dammit if those involved with the marketing knocked it out of the park, because the poster and cover art for the VHS lured people into watching this crap. Sure, it’s an 80’s guilty pleasure to some and uncomfortable toilet paper to others – but you can’t deny the sheer genius of the tagline ‘They’ll Get You In The End!” along with the image of that green Ghoulie coming out of the crapper. Speaking of crap and crappers, they rode that toilet theme all the way to Ghoulies III: Ghoulies Go To College. That’s right….they actually went to college.
I love a movie that knows where it belongs. And Adam Green definitely knows that his 2006 throwback slasher flick Hatchet (and the sequels for that matter) belongs in the 80’s. The only problem is that the original poster didn’t exactly have that true 80’s feel, but this one below done by artist Justin Osbourn sure as hell did.
Boing! Horror boner going on over here. TMI. Fright Rags put 250 of these beauties up for sale a while back and all were numbered and signed by Victor Crowley himself, Kane Hodder. This poster just screams 80’s and is everything that is right in the horror world. I read that Adam Green was so impressed as well that he would have used it to promote Hatchet during the release. Bad news is that I see none of these up on Ebay for sale. The good news is that you can just gaze at it here and get your fix.