Dirty Horror Memory Lane: The ‘Dawn Of The Dead’ Board Game (1978)

Well I’m upset.  No, please don’t try and calm me down.  I’m upset because I just found out that instead of playing the terrible Clash Of The Titans board game when I was a kid, I could have been playing a board game based on 1978’s Dawn Of The Dead!  Yep, color me clueless because I had no idea that this even existed.

Apparently, there were two options to play for the game.  Option 1:  a zombie player has to kill any three characters.  Option 2:  a human player has to secure the mall by closing the four entrances and eliminating all of the zombies that are currently inside.  Not sure if there was a third option where you could play as a biker gang that goes around throwing pies and shooting seltzer water into the zombie’s faces.

The bottom line is that this is pretty awesome, but unfortunately, awesome comes at a price nowadays.  This rare Dawn Of The Dead board game can cost a few hundred bucks up on Ebay.  There have been updated reproductions that you can buy and even download online, but I’m a purist and would want the original real deal.  Nothing quite satisfies the “I wish I was young again” thirst like an authentic piece of random pop culture.  Here’s to you, horror board game nostalgia!

Dirty Horror Memory Lane: Alligator Game (1980)

I was an impressionable 5-year-old in 1980 when the cult classic creature feature Alligator came out.  My memory is a bit foggy, but I remember being scared to death that if I ever under some random circumstance bought a baby alligator, my Dad would promptly flush it down the toilet.  Then, a giant alligator would mutate in the sewers of my small Indiana town and chew up anyone and anything in it’s path when it got loose.  Yikes!  Funny thing is though, I loved Alligator even though I was young and even though it scared the shit out of me.  So my lid was officially blown off recently when I discovered that there was a children’s game based off of the very movie!

Whaaaaaat?  Yeah, it was real alright.  Pretty menacing game if you ask me and it makes Crocodile Dentist look like it’s wearing a skirt.  And yes, your eyes weren’t deceiving you.  One of the little kids in the commercial was indeed Flick from A Christmas Story…..who later went on to do porn – fun fact!  But back to the game.  I want it.  Only problem is that it is RARE.  And you may need to recruit the help of the Toy Hunter to help you find it.

Not all hope is lost though, because thanks to Ebay, you can pay 10 times what it originally cost if you do happen to find it!  Hooray for the price gougers. But look, it’s a small price to pay in actuality considering how rare the game is and considering how much fun you and your friends can have while playing it. Nothing like grown men sitting around putting plastic game pieces into a plastic alligator.  Speaking of which, since the game is based on the Alligator movie, why is the point of the game to put things like a television and briefcase into the alligator’s jaws?  Pfffft.  So inaccurate.