As I sat here the other night after watching House of Wax (the 1953 version, not the version where Paris Hilton gets a big pole…..in her head), I realized two things: One of those being that I really miss Vincent Price. And the other being the undisputed fact that horror movies need more Paddle Ball Guys in them! Now, if you’ve never seen this version of House of Wax, then you’re probably more than slightly confused and wondering what kind of good shit I’ve been smoking. Well let me further explain myself with a clip so you can better understand what the hell’s going on:
Awwww yeah! How amazing is that guy? And trust me on this – he’s even more amazing in 3D! The beauty of this particular ‘3D gimmick’ is that it’s clearly so stupid, but clearly so goddamn fun. There are other gimmicky three dimensional moments like this throughout the movie, but nothing beats Paddle Ball Guy. But yes, I feel that my moderate campaign for more paddle balls in horror movies will fall on deaf ears. At least we’ll always have House of Wax to remind us all of the importance of balls flying at your face. Shout-out to a creepy-ass young Charles Bronson in that clip btw.
What’s the next best thing to having the pole that impaled Paris Hilton’s head during her impressive death scene from 2005’s House Of Wax? A wig that her stunt double may have used of course! I love scouring Ebay for random horror shit that people put up, and today I hit the jackpot when I found not one, but six stunt wigs from that underrated horror remake:
Now you and your friends can live out that fantasy of re-inacting House Of Wax. It really makes it all worth it, doesn’t it? Ok – now let’s talk price. All of these beauties can be yours (along with some unused sideburns!) for $440 or you can attempt to make a best offer. So that’s roughly $75 per wig. A bit high, but also priceless if you’re a die-hard House Of Wax fan. Head on over HERE and click that ‘Buy It Now’ button if you’re ready to make your dreams come true. And for the rest of us who want our dreams to come true, let’s watch Paris Hilton bite the dust in the clip below: