So What Happens If This New ‘Halloween’ Movie Sucks?

Getting your hopes up is a terrible epidemic that affects millions of people every year.  Especially people who are fans of horror movies.  Last year, my hopes were way up for the new incarnation of Stephen King’s IT – and although I liked it, I was not in the majority that LOVED it.  Hence, my hopes were dashed because they were up way too high.  So what happens this year when October 19th rolls around?  Well, it’s my birthday of course!  Oh – not just mine actually…..but a certain mask-wearing/knife-wielding killer from Haddonfield, Illinois named Michael Myers’ as well.  And yes, he comes home on that date in theaters nationwide!

The new Halloween has some interesting twists coming along with it in the writer/director categories.  Directed and co-written by David Gordon Green (Pineapple Express), he isn’t exactly the first choice for a horror movie.  But, I’ll reserve judgement until my peepers see it for myself.  A favorite of mine, Danny McBride, co-wrote it along with Green and Jeff Fradley.  What does all of this mean for the tone?  Who fucking knows.  But what I do fucking know is that John Carpenter IS onboard as a consultant and will do most or all of the music for the movie.  Oh – and did I mention that Jamie Lee Curtis is back reprising her role as Laurie Strode?  I guess I really didn’t need to mention that unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last few months.

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Now, recently some news got out about some early test screenings for Halloween.  And the word was not good.  You can take these opinions with a grain of salt and a Michael Myers grunt, as I will again reserve judgement until I see the final product for myself.  The poster that came out last week was alright, but people were figuratively sucking it off because the mask was shown…..but I kinda thought it didn’t look much different than Rob Zombie’s mask in his Halloween movies (one of the only redeeming qualities btw).  To each his or her own though, the excitement level for Halloween is steadily building steam.  When the trailer drops, so will the horror panties.  I don’t know that the hell that even met.  But anyway…….

So what if it sucks?  What if my hopes are so high, that if it does suck…..I go running out of the theater like a madman and dash into the street without looking and get hit by a car like Ben Tramer???  Oh, let’s hope that doesn’t happen.  And let’s hope that Halloween doesn’t suck, because I really do want to have a good birthday.  We shall see.  And if you want to get me something for my birthday, I’m an extra large.

So, ‘Halloween’ Is Returning In ‘Halloween Returns’?

Good news for all of you Michael Myers and Halloween fans who are also fans of the 1989 Wes Craven ‘so bad it’s good’ movie, Shocker!  It looks as though the upcoming reboot/redo, Halloween Returns, will indeed have Michael Myers on death row and being sent to the electric chair while two vengeful onlookers watch him about to die.  Horace Pinker, anyone?

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I have to say that even after the bad taste that was left in my mouth from Rob Zombie’s Halloween II (I actually didn’t mind the first one), I’m onboard with another Halloween reboot.  The good news is that as previously reported, it won’t be in 3D and looks to be a standalone entry as well.  Directed by Marcus Dunstan (The Collector, The Collection) and also written by him and Patrick Melton, this could surprisingly breathe new life into the franchise IF the following steps are properly taken:

–  Get a good mask.  At least the Rob Zombie films had that going for them. 

–  Don’t overthink the plot.  We don’t need any satanic cults running around this time.  We get it….Michael Myers is evil.  It doesn’t need to be overstated. 

–  Less is more.  Make it scary.  I’m all for bringing back the subtleness of Michael’s character (popping up in the background of shots, minimal but effect score, etc). 

–  No Jamie Lee Curtis cameos, please.  I love the woman, but her time in the Halloween franchise died when she did in that awful Halloween: Resurrection crapfest. 

– Speaking of that crapfest – no unnecessary rapper cameos.  My condolences to Busta Rhymes.

Sunday Bloody Sunday: ‘Nurse Franco Scalpel Death’ From ‘Halloween II’ (1981)

Happy October, everybody!  And because it’s that time of the year when everyone is getting into the Halloween spirit, I’ll be focusing on Halloween-themed movies this month for Sunday Bloody Sunday.

First up, one of my favorite kill scenes from the Halloween franchise.  Is it bloody?  Nope.  It’s all about the subtlety of it all.  In 1981’s personally loved sequel, Halloween II, Nurse Franco (Tawny Moyer) goes running after Laurie (Jamie Lee Curtis) down the hospital hallway.  Oops though, she didn’t know Michael Myers was looking to have fun with his scalpel!  Well, it doesn’t end well for Nurse Franco, and the shot of her being raised off of the ground by Michael and his sharp shiny instrument of death is eerily breathtaking.