Dirty Horror Memory Lane: Linnea Quigley’s Horror Workout (1990)

Yawn.  Boy oh boy – I sure am having trouble getting it going this morning.  I feel like a zombie, and probably look like one too.  If only there was a workout tape that I could pop in to motivate me that involves horror and famous Scream Queen Linnea Quigley…….oh wait a minute!  There is!  And it came out in 1990!  Yeah, I’m super late to the horror workout party.

Well that was something.  God bless, Linnea and god bless those zombies in the video clip for giving it their all.  But yes, that gem of a clip is from Linnea Quigley’s Horror Workout – released in 1990 to capitalize off of the B-movie horror boom and off of Linnea herself.  Originally released on VHS, it’s a great slice of horror nostalgia and you can now own it in glorious DVD quality!

Head on over HERE and snatch up your copy of the limited (to 1000) DVD and feel the burn as you bounce and stretch along with Linnea and the cheesy synthy 80’s music. Need more convincing by the way?  Hmmmmm…..well how about a clip of Linnea and her hot slumber party girlfriends gyrating and flexing for your enjoyment in unison?  You’re welcome.

5 Things That Make ‘Night Of The Demons’ The Best Halloween Movie Ever!

With October 31st approaching fast, everyone is getting ready to pick their favorite movie from the Halloween franchise to watch on Halloween night.  Is it going to be John Carpenter’s 1978 original?  Or maybe you’re in the mood for the Silver Shamrock jingle?  And what about the one with Busta Rhymes? Matter of fact, forget about all of those because the best Halloween-themed horror movie to watch on Halloween night involves lipstick and not a William Shatner mask from Star Trek.


Yeah!!  Night Of The Demons is quite possibly (at least for me) the best Halloween-themed horror movie of all time.  Don’t get me wrong, I love Michael Myers and respect John Carpenter to death, but there’s just something about Night Of The Demons that puts it on top.  Actually, there are 5 things that put it on the top and here they are:


1.  The Lipstick Scene

How could this not be number one?  Now look – I know that I’m kind of taking the cheap way out and going with the weird gratuitous nudity scene right out the gate, but how could I not?  It was one thing to watch Linnea Quigley eroticly draw on her naked body with the pink lipstick, but then to make any magician proud – it disappears!  Into her nipple nonetheless.  Spoiler alert.


2.  The Soundtrack

Not only is the original soundtrack (composed by Dennis Michael Tenney) pure 80’s horror goodness, this movie has one of the best solo dance segments ever!  When Angela decides to dance to Bauhaus’ “Stigmata Martyr“, you can’t help but to be hypnotized………Don’t believe me?  Watch the clip below and find out:


3.  Stooge’s Hair

I remember watching Night Of The Demons when I was younger and actually wanting Stooge’s haircut.  Clearly there was something wrong with me, and I didn’t quite have enough to pull off a mullet, but looking back on it now – this might be my favorite 80’s movie haircut ever and it just adds to the overall feel of the movie.  Nothing says 80’s like a mullet with some lines and steps cut in on the sides of your hair.  Never has there been a better haircut for a movie character named Stooge.



4.  This Movie Is So Fucking Fun! 

Few horror movies can really nail the whole ‘fun factor’, and Night Of The Demons is the exception.  Are you going to get Oscar nominated acting here? Nope.  But the dialogue is witty and clever and even though there are some creepy moments (Angela’s makeup and voice for one), the movie is the quintessential 80’s horror product that brings the fun.  Multiple viewings are usually a way to test the shelf life of a horror movie, and Night Of The Demons seems to get better with each viewing.  Oh – and there are quite a few pairs of boobs in it too to add to the ‘fun factor’.


5.  The Ending Is Perfect 

Growing up in a small Indiana town, I actually dealt with my fair share of cranky old people who hated Halloween and hated giving kids candy.  One guy used to give out rotten apples and chocolate covered crickets.  True story.  So at the end of Night Of The Demons, it always makes me smile to see that crabby old guy get his comeuppance when his ‘razor blades in the apple’ plan backfires.  Perfect way to end the movie and a perfect homage to Halloween in general.


So there you have it.  If you haven’t seen Night Of The Demons (let me specify that I’m talking about the Kevin Tenney original from 1988, not the terrible remake), then do yourself a favor and watch it this year on Halloween. Scream Factory released a pretty amazing Blu-ray that has a great transfer and tons of extras a little while back.  And if you take your kids trick-or-treating this year, make sure to watch out for the cranky old guys with apples.

Great Moments In Horror Hair History: Linnea Quigley In ‘The Return Of The Living Dead’ (1985)

Ronald McDonald had the ‘red hair game’ on lock for years.  He owned it, and was reluctant to ever give up his crimson crown and dared anyone to try and challenge him for it.  But in 1985, Linnea Quigley and her breasts burst onto the scene in the B-movie horror classic, The Return Of The Living Dead. And in a rare moment, her red hair in the movie upstaged those breasts and snatched that aforementioned crimson crown from the creepy-ass McDonald’s mascot.


Ms. Quigley gave us three fantastic things in The Return Of The Living Dead: her character’s name (Trash), her nude graveyard dance, and her punk-influenced red mop on top.  And it’s that red mop on top that is truly a ‘Great Moment In Horror Hair History‘ and is more than deserving to be in the illustrious company of Shelly’s Jewfro from Friday The 13th Part 3 and Rider Strong’s armpits from Cabin Fever.  Also deserving, is the way that Trash knew how to really sit and conduct herself like a lady.  Spread eagle is always an underrated classic and should be commended.  Congrats, Linnea!