‘Leatherface: The Acne Years’ Is Coming Soon!

Well, file this one under the ‘What The Fuck’ category.  It was reported yesterday by The Wrap that the newest addition to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre saga is going to focus on Leatherface in his teenage years.  I’ll give that a second to sink in.  What do you think of the news, recently deceased original Texas Chainsaw Massacre star Marilyn Burns?

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Couldn’t have said it better myself.  So yes, it has been confirmed that this is actually happening and it even has a generic uninspired title to go along with the generic uninspired storyline.  It will be called (drum roll please)……..Leatherface!  A lot powerful minds worked on that one.  I won’t apologize for not liking Texas Chainsaw 3D last year.  A couple of good gore scenes aside, it was a train wreck.  And the last thing I ever want to do is sympathize with a deranged killer who wields a chainsaw and likes to wear people’s skin for his masks.  So now we have this news about the prequel to the original 1974 movie where apparently we’ll enter the mind of a teenage Leatherface.

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Since this is going to focus on his teen years, we can now finally see what we’ve always wanted to see when we think of Leatherface.  His acne and that moment where his voice changes.  I’m sure it will be pretty embarrassing for him.  Speaking of which, we might even get to see him get caught by his Mom while masturbating for the first time.  Yikes!  All bad jokes and humor aside, I guess I should wait and hold out a little hope until things get rolling on this prequel.  But I got a funny feeling and a bad taste in my mouth that this isn’t going to go well.  Until the final verdict is in though, I’m dusting off my copy of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre and am gonna give it a watch to make everything right with the world, at least for the moment.

News: Here’s Some Buzz – The New Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D Poster!

Hey, guess what?  They’re making another attempt at revitalizing a classic horror franchise!  Yay!!  Slight sarcasm there, but somewhat well deserved. News broke earlier in the year that Lionsgate would be relaunching The Texas Chainsaw Massacre in 2013, but this time it would be in 3D! Ooooooh!  Now before I get into the storyline for the new revamp, let me vent about 3D.  Unless it’s going to be the fun, midnight movie variety a la Friday The 13th Part 3, where popcorn and yo-yos are flying at the screen, count me out.  I just don’t want to see my horror movies in 3D, unless the intentional cheese factor is there.  Who wouldn’t want to see an eyeball literally come springing out at the screen after all?

*BOING!!*

So the set up for the new Leatherface romp is this:  Texas Chainsaw 3D continues the story of the homicidal Sawyer family and picks up where the Tobe Hooper 1974 classic left off.  After Sally (Marilyn Burns) escapes, word around town spreads about the evil that’s going on at the Sawyer farmhouse and they proceed to burn it to the ground, killing every last member of the family – or so they thought.  Flash forward decades later and we meet a young woman named Heather who learns she’s inherited a Texas estate (lavish mansion) from her grandmother she never knew she had.  After embarking on a road trip with her friends to check it out, she stumbles upon a horror that awaits in the mansion’s dank cellars…..

I will say that the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre still rattles the old nerves every time I watch it.  But some of the sequels, like Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation, rattle the old funny bone and I can’t get enough of Matthew McConaughey’s bat shit, over the top performance.   Continue reading