So I’m sitting here eating my delicious breakfast and my mind wanders to an intestinal puking scene from an Italian horror film. A bit fucked up? Yeah, probably. But it’s always a good time for an intestinal puking scene!
Welcome to Monday Bloody Monday and if you yourself are eating breakfast, you may want to stop before you watch the clip. Lucio Fulci’s City Of The Living Dead (aka The Gates Of Hell) has a pretty great soundtrack and more than enough WTF moments in the actual movie as well. Solid viewing for me all around and when the infamous ‘intestine scene’ happens, it’s even more remarkable knowing that Fulci actually had actress Daniela Doria swallow and then vomit up actual sheep entrails in the scene. Watch carefully below, and don’t stare into the priest’s eyes too long or you may have your very own intestinal accident.
Sooooo – when I finally sat down with Bone Tomahawk, I was somewhat intrigued for the first hour or so. I love me a good western movie and I also love me some Kurt Russell in a good western movie, so I was on board and half-wanted Val Kilmer to show up as a sickly Doc Holliday. No Doc Holliday unfortunately, but what we did get were some nasty cave dwelling troglodytes that kicked things into full on gear for the second half of the movie.
Welcome to Monday Bloody Monday, where you guessed it – we’re talking about troglodytes this week! And might I add, that’s a first on my site. Now, I did give you forewarning at the beginning of this post that there would be spoilers, so if you haven’t seen Bone Tomahawk and think you might – don’t watch the clip below. Of if you just like to have things spoiled for you, then by all means click away. Just a warning though – it gets much worse as the clip goes on…..
It’s Christmastime! Carolers are caroling. The mistletoe is being hung. And a topless women is getting thrown into a wood chipper in broad daylight by a psychotic Santa Claus.
Welcome to Monday Bloody Monday, and since it’s the holiday season it feels only right to spotlight a Christmas-themed horror movie. In 2012, Silent Night was released and was actually a decent little throwback to Silent Night, Deadly Night. And just like in the latter, Santa is out to punish the naughty. In this case, the naughty is a topless girl who is about to meet her grisly demise at the merciless hands of a wood chipper. Grab some egg nog and click the link below:
Mmmmmm. Can you smell that? It’s the delicious smell of your favorite Christmas cookies cooking in the oven. You have to give them time to cook though. Don’t take them out too soon! Oh – and you might want to get some extra frosting to mask the taste of the human flesh. Yuck.
On this week’s Monday Bloody Monday, I’m going to 2006 for one of the most controversial horror remakes of all time: Black Christmas. Why so controversial? Because the original Black Christmas in 1974 is an unheralded classic that was the blueprint for some of your favorite slasher movies that would come later on. But enough about my crush on the original, the remake had one scene that was just disgusting and over-the-top enough to get my interest. Click the link below to watch Billy do some damage to his 8-year-old sister Agnes and to his mother that raped him to be able to conceive Agnes. Yeah – that really happens. Yuck.
Who needs a machete when you have a big thumb? Yeah – I’m looking at you Jason Voorhees. Put the machete down and try using your thumbs like a real man. Michael Myers is a real man, and has crazy thumb skills to further prove that realness.
Due to a long weekend, welcome to Monday Bloody Monday instead of Sunday Bloody Sunday! And since Halloween is only a few weeks away, it seems right to spotlight something from the Halloween franchise. Being that I have thumbs on my mind for some reason, it’s only natural to witness Michael Myers give new definition to the term ‘hands-on’ at the beginning of Halloween 4: The Return Of Michael Myers. Try thinking about what it would feel like to literally have that big thumb pushing into your forehead when you watch the clip. And then go get some Advil afterwards.
What better way to kick the week off then with some self-mutilation, a needle in the eye, and a good head bashing? Oh sure – a delicious bowl of Fruity Pebbles would be just as satisfying, but watching the transformation of Olivia in Evil Dead from 2013 is even more satisfying.
Kudos to the sound design department on this movie for the sound effects of Olivia (Jessica Lucas) sawing away at her face with a piece of glass. Not exactly the sexiest thing in the world, but it almost beats the fact that she peed her pants earlier in the scene. Leave it up to a horror movie to make a sexy girl unsexy in a matter of seconds. But anyway, this scene was definitely the tipping point for me as far as appreciating and applauding this remake of the original The Evil Dead from 1981, which in itself was a big feat considering my love for that original.
Step right up ladies and gentlemen and watch the great escape artist Rennes, as he attempts to get out of the mysterious Cube!
Dammit. Rennes didn’t escape much there. He should probably work on his escaping skills, especially after giving such a hopeful speech to the crew before hopping into that section of the Cube that disintegrated his face. Not very inspirational for the rest of the crew either I’d have to say, since Rennes was supposed to be one of the best. And now his head looks like it was taken out by a melon baller. Oh well. To find out if the rest of the crew makes it, check out 1997’s Cube if you haven’t seen it already. It’s a nice little indie horror/sci-fi flick that has a few surprises up it’s sleeve.
What is it with Italian horror movies killing off blind people? In 1985’s Demons, a poor blind guy bit the dust by having his non-seeing eyes smooshed in. The precursor to that happened in 1977’s Suspiria, when Dario Argento thought he would set the gold standard for blind people cruelty and let a guide dog take a chunk out of his sightless master’s jugular.
So, on this special edition of Monday Bloody Monday, we’re going to all gather around and watch that scene from Suspiria. Two things come to mind when I revisit this moment by the way. First, german shepherds are awesome dogs. And second, what the hell happened to Dario Argento? It’s sad to watch a fantastic movie like this and then watch his attempts at filmmaking nowadays where he has Dracula turning into a giant praying mantis. But I digress. Now let’s watch a blind guy get his throat ripped out by a dog.