Michael Myers…….Now With More Sexy Abs!

I’m always up for new art revolving around the world of horror, and more specifically our beloved horror icons.  A London artist named Karl Von Frankenstein (cute) has just released a few of his creations that bring out the erotic side of your favorite slasher villains.  But since it’s October, I’m going to focus on the Michael Myers one.  Be prepared to never be able to look at Michael the same again when you watch your Halloween marathon this year.  Or maybe you’ll be turned on by it if that’s your bag.

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‘No Beauty Without Strangeness’ Halloween Art Exhibit Coming To Pasadena This Month!

Woo hoo!  It’s October 1st!  Which means it’s time to start getting into the Halloween spirit.  And what better way to get into the Halloween spirit, than with an art and photography exhibit revolving around our favorite time of the year?  And you know what’s even better about it?  It’s located right next door to the original Michael Myers house from the 1978 horror classic, Halloween!

The ‘No Beauty Without Strangeness‘ Halloween art exhibition will be running from October 3rd through the 31st in South Pasadena, California. Sorry to my non-Southern California readers (unless you decide to make the drive) for the bad news.  This exhibit will feature work from several artists and photographers, including Kim Gottlieb-Walker who was the unit photographer on Halloween and will also be doing a book/poster signing as well.  Check out the flier below for more info and Happy Halloween Month, everybody!

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Ho-Ho-Holy Shit! The ‘Krampus’ Trailer Has Arrived!

I have to admit that I’ve become a bit obsessed and fascinated by the folklore involving Krampus, the horned and hoofed creature that would come around at Christmastime to torment bad little girls and boys.  Had I known about it as a child, I probably would have behaved much better considering the alternative if Krampus ever found me.  No child wants to be stuffed into a burlap sack and dragged away to a cave to be eaten.  And now finally, we will get a proper movie version of the story, thanks to writer/director Michael Dougherty, appropriately titled Krampus.

Well that looks like a lot of fun, doesn’t it?!?  For those living under a rock for the last 8 years, Michael Dougherty wrote and directed the AMAZING Halloween anthology movie, Trick ‘r Treat.  And if you’ve seen that (and shame on you if you haven’t), then you can see his stamp all over the Krampus trailer stylistically and with the tongue-in-cheek humor.

We haven’t had a really good Christmas horror movie in a while (Rare Exports was good, but more fantasy than horror in my opinion), so Krampus will be welcomed with open arms when it’s released in December.  Hopefully it will live up to the hype of the trailer and of the poster below, which somehow reminds me of another Christmastime horror movie called Elves.  Let’s just all hope that the comparisons stop at the poster for that one.  Look for Krampus in what will most likely be a small theater run (although I’m hoping for a bigger one) on December 4th!

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Anticipation Alert: Bite (2015)

If barf bags are involved in the screening of a horror movie, you know that can only be a good sign.  Trust me, I’m not a vomit fiend or anything like that at all – but there’s something “special” about getting handed a barf bag before viewing time.  Publicity stunt?  Maybe.  Over-the-top promotional gag?  Most definitely.  But when you see the trailer for the new gooey insect horror flick called Bite, you might understand the marketing ploy:

I can admit that I’ve always had a fear of getting bitten by an insect and having it’s eggs be laid inside the wound and inside me.  I still get creeped out by the spider scene from the movie The Believers.  So naturally when I watched the trailer for Bite, I got the willies.  Overall, it seems it won’t win any major points for originality as it looks to heavily borrow from David Cronenberg’s version of The Fly.  Not that that’s a bad thing mind you, but we’ve kind of seen the whole ‘person transforms into an insect’ done before.  I’m looking at you Ticks.  But it’s hard to argue with the fact that Bite is already being praised for using grotesque gooey practical effects to enhance the infected girl’s transformation after she’s bitten on a Bachelorette retreat.

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Yes, we’ve talked barf bags – but what about the news that people were fainting and actually vomiting after watching Bite on the big screen during the Fantasia Film Festival?  I actually do believe it, and hopefully I’m not getting roped into some devious and elaborate marketing scheme that will make me wake up one morning with egg on my face.  I do love eggs, but not enough to be humiliated.  I would assume that Bite will be making more festival rounds, especially after the buzz it’s generating (positive reviews are coming in as I type this) and considering that Halloween is coming up soon as well.  Stay tuned for more info and keep the Pepto-Bismol close by!

How Bad Can You F*ck Up A ‘Cujo’ Remake?

Pretty bad apparently.  I heard the news the other day that there was indeed a Cujo remake in the works.  At first glance, it’s not a terrible idea to update the 1983 original, because it’s a movie that actually could benefit from the remake treatment.  All of those thoughts quickly drifted out of my mind when I found out this potential remake is going to be called not just Cujo, but C.U.J.O. – and that of course would stand for Canine Unit Joint Operations.  What do you think of that Dee Wallace Stone?

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Yeah – we’re right there with you, sister.  Now, not much has been said about what the actual plot of this remake will be, but judging from the title, here’s what I can determine:  We’re going to have a bunch of slobbering and foaming at the mouth Saint Bernards who got bit by rabid bats running around in the military and carrying out special co-op missions while a grown up version of the kid from Who’s The Boss watches on and applauds their progress.

While I hope I’m wrong (except for the part about Danny Pintauro returning), it does seem as though there’s going to be some kind of military element involved here.  Which makes absolutely no fucking sense.  This sounds like it should be more a Man’s Best Friend remake instead of a Cujo one.  For those not aware, Man’s Best Friend was a pretty terrible 1993 movie about a killer Mastiff dog who can climb trees to eat cats and it also had this precious tagline:  Nature created him. Science perfected him. But no one can control him.  So to take that bad taste out of our mouths of the upcoming Cujo – oh I’m sorry – C.U.J.O. remake, let’s watch the trailer to Man’s Best Friend instead.  

 

ScareLA Convention Coming To Pasadena On August 8th & 9th!

My favorite time of the year is only about 3 months away!  No, not Columbus Day.  And no, not my wedding anniversary.  My apologies to my wife btw…..but I’m talking about Halloween!  And what better way to get yourself into the mood than with a convention that revolves around anything and everything that is Halloween called the ScareLA Convention in Southern California, which is taking place this year in Pasadena at the Pasadena Convention Center on August 8th & 9th.

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Now, I have to say that I’ve been the past two years to the ScareLA Convention and can unbiasedly say it’s one of the most fun and entertaining conventions of it’s kind that I’ve experienced.  It really nails the Halloween feel, with tons of exhibits and booths dedicated to the holiday, as well as some actual haunted attractions that you can walk through as well!  You might even see a celebrity or two pop up as well (I was lucky enough to meet Sid Haig last year).  For more details on all of the festivities and for tickets, click HERE for everything that you need to know for the ScareLA Convention this year in Pasadena!

So, ‘Halloween’ Is Returning In ‘Halloween Returns’?

Good news for all of you Michael Myers and Halloween fans who are also fans of the 1989 Wes Craven ‘so bad it’s good’ movie, Shocker!  It looks as though the upcoming reboot/redo, Halloween Returns, will indeed have Michael Myers on death row and being sent to the electric chair while two vengeful onlookers watch him about to die.  Horace Pinker, anyone?

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I have to say that even after the bad taste that was left in my mouth from Rob Zombie’s Halloween II (I actually didn’t mind the first one), I’m onboard with another Halloween reboot.  The good news is that as previously reported, it won’t be in 3D and looks to be a standalone entry as well.  Directed by Marcus Dunstan (The Collector, The Collection) and also written by him and Patrick Melton, this could surprisingly breathe new life into the franchise IF the following steps are properly taken:

–  Get a good mask.  At least the Rob Zombie films had that going for them. 

–  Don’t overthink the plot.  We don’t need any satanic cults running around this time.  We get it….Michael Myers is evil.  It doesn’t need to be overstated. 

–  Less is more.  Make it scary.  I’m all for bringing back the subtleness of Michael’s character (popping up in the background of shots, minimal but effect score, etc). 

–  No Jamie Lee Curtis cameos, please.  I love the woman, but her time in the Halloween franchise died when she did in that awful Halloween: Resurrection crapfest. 

– Speaking of that crapfest – no unnecessary rapper cameos.  My condolences to Busta Rhymes.

Oh…..So They’re Remaking ‘The Blob’?

Maybe my finger just isn’t on the pulse of horror as much as it should be, because I either completely forgot or didn’t realize that there was another remake of The Blob in the works.  Once attached to Rob Zombie (which would have been……interesting), it looks like director Simon West is going behind the camera to bring our favorite blobby killer to the big screen again.

I believe I’ve let it be known that I hold the 1988 remake of The Blob in the highest regard as far as horror remakes go.  It paid homage to the 1958 original and introduced some amazing practical make-up effects for it’s time (not including Kevin Dillon’s hair) that still hold up to this day.  Not sure that we really need another rendition or update to The Blob, but it looks as though Samuel L. Jackson will be our main star battling the reincarnated blob.

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Not a bad choice, but what troubles me is that director Simon West has said that ‘with modern CGI we can now fully realize the potential of The Blob‘. Granted there was some bad 80’s CGI in the 1988 version, but these days CGI is overused in a lot movies, including horror.  As long as those involved with this remake/reboot have fun with it and don’t make things too serious, we might be ok.  We’ll know more once a trailer pops up as far as what we’re dealing with though, so until then let’s enjoy all of the death scenes from the 1988 classic (yep, I’m calling it a classic):

Very Limited Friday The 13th NES Resin Figure From ‘Jack’s Attic’ Available 4/25!

Over the last few years, I’ve become a bit of a collector when it comes to horror items and figures.  So imagine my pleasant surprise when a post popped up on my Facebook page from Jack’s Attic announcing that they will be releasing 20 limited ‘Kill People 8Bit13’ on April 25th at 12:00 PM EST.

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Damn.  Those take me back to my Fisher Price toy days.  And also my Nintendo days, so Jack’s Attic gets double points for that!  Now as I mentioned, these are extremely limited to 20 pieces (hand numbered and signed), so they are going to go fast.  But if you are one of the lucky ones to grab it, you will also receive a scratch off trading card where you could win a super-duper rare ‘Bloody Gold Variant’ figure.  It just keeps getting better, right?  Get on the Jack’s Attic site HERE this Saturday at 12:00 PM EST and get your clicking finger ready!

Anticipation Alert: The Gallows (2015)

Nothing pleases me more than having a teaser trailer for a new horror movie pop up on my screen that impresses me so much, I feel the need to watch it again.  Such is the case with The Gallows:

I’m hoping I’m not alone with this one, but I think that it’s of the better teasers I’ve seen in a long time.  Coming to us from Blumhouse Productions, this hopeful little treat arrives in theaters on July 10th.  Below is the synapsis for The Gallows:

20 years after a horrific accident during a small town school play, students at the school resurrect the failed show in a misguided attempt to honor the anniversary of the tragedy – but soon discover that some things are better left alone.

After watching the teaser trailer and then reading the synapsis again, I’m even more intrigued.  The red lighting in the teaser definitely wins me over, as does the final shot with the noose around the girl’s neck.  Speaking of necks, what the hell happened to that girl’s neck?  Was she bitten?  Is she having a bad reaction to a new lotion that she tried out?  We’ll see what the full trailer reveals, but for now – I’m definitely onboard with The Gallows.