Should You Buy Into The Hype Of ‘Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones’?

You know what I hate?  Well, besides parking valets who fart in your car before giving it back to you.  I hate these marketing videos that mostly go along with horror movies where they show “actual” audiences screaming at the top of their lungs, covering their eyes, and borderline assaulting the person next to them.  It always comes off as desperate to me, especially when you throw the night vision effect in and it usually does not hold true at all when it comes to the actual movie.  Enter in Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones.  Early screenings took place last week and the buzz is starting to build.  But is it all hype and no pay off?

If you look up info about these screenings that took place, most will say that the reaction was INSANE.  Yeah.  All capital letters, so you know it must be true. Only thing that would make it more INSANE is if I put it in bold like this: INSANE.  Now the hype just went up even more!  Not a huge fan of the Paranormal Activity movies, but I respect them and honestly brushed off The Marked Ones as a cash grab that didn’t really have anything to do with the previous movies.  And that was mostly due to the fact that Paranormal Activity 5 is coming out later in 2014.

But word on the overhyped street is that The Marked Ones answers a lot of questions from the previous four movies and ties up loose ends at the same time.  And those who have seen it say that the last 20 minutes are crazy.  Oh, excuse me.  I meant to say INSANE.  Could this movie be a pleasant little surprise for the New Year?  We shall see.  Until then, if you attended one of the recent screenings, watch for yourself overreacting in the inevitable night vision TV spots  that will soon be gracing your televisions.

The Horror Forecast For The Next Few Months In Theaters Calls For…….Nothing.

The horror business is really booming on television right now.  I’m talking about you, The Walking Dead.  And you, American Horror Story.  But not so much about you Dracula, because you’re probably going to get cancelled.  The point I’m trying to make here is that to get your horror fix nowadays, there are more than enough viable ways to get it on the old boob tube.  So that must mean that since horror is all the rage on TV, we’re going to have a lot to choose from on the big screen too, right?  Nope.  No sir.  No ma’am.  No shit.

I did a little piece last month about the absence of horror movies for October and more importantly, for Halloween.  Sure we had the Carrie remake to satisfy our urge, but unfortunately, I had to go eat ten Snickers bars afterward to get my true satisfaction due to the fact that the movie sucked ass.  And now I look into my magic horror crystal ball toward the future months ahead and I see………….absolutely nothing.  You might think I’m exaggerating, oh but I’m not.  Not unless you’re seriously excited about Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones.

You know the excitement you get when a big horror movie is coming out?  Well prepare to push that excitement to the limit when I, Frankenstein comes out on January 24th!  Oh yeah!  Looks like if you’ve been yearning for something that could be just as terrible as Van Helsing, you’ll be in luck on January 24th. And if you’re not tired of the whole found footage “my baby might be the Devil” storyline, make sure to check out Devil’s Due a week earlier on January 17th! Wow!  Maybe I was wrong about all of this!  Sarcasm can go a long way, especially when you’re talking about crappy horror movies that are coming out in theaters over the next few months.

In fact, it’s not until The Purge 2 on June 20th, that a somewhat favorable horror movie comes out, and even that one’s a little suspect.  But seriously. June 20th?  There will be a few diamonds in the rough along the way that will most likely be limited releases (Wolf Creek 2, Here Comes The Devil), but the horror well looks to be pretty dry my friends.  Unless of course you’ve been fiending for Leprechaun: Origins.  So turn on your televisions horror fans and relish in the silver lining throughout all of this.  The fact that you can save some movie theater cash and go see Saw VIII ten times when it comes out in October.  Now that is a silver lining.