Review: The Seasoning House (2012)

I need to take a shower.  No, I don’t really stink – but you know that feeling after you watch a movie that just kind of makes you feel ‘dirty’?  Welcome to the experience that is The Seasoning House.  A 2012 British film that is finally getting some shine in the US and deservedly so.  It’s brutal.  Let me rephrase that. It’s f*cking BRUTAL.  And just a hair shy of a masterpiece in my opinion as well.   Continue reading

Review: Frankenstein’s Army (2013)

Raise your hand if you hate Nazis.  Raise your other hand if you hate mad scientist Nazis who try to develop an army of unstoppable monster creations to win World War II for the Germans.  Now keep your hands in the air and wave them like you just don’t care.  Done?  Ok, good.  Welcome to Frankenstein’s Army.  A movie set during World War II that tells the story of a Russian battalion who track a radio signal to a location where they believe some of there fallen comrades may be.  But oops, it’s turns out it’s the lair of Viktor Frankenstein, and he’s been busy building monsters in his spare time for Adolf Hitler.  How sweet.    Continue reading

Review: The Conjuring (2013)

We’ve seen it all before.  An evil house, a possessed family member, a paranormal team who helps perform an exorcism.  But rarely do you get to see it done so well.  Welcome to the already hyped (and deservedly so) spooky flick, The Conjuring.  A movie that impressed me even more than I thought it would, but not just because it was downright scary and intense for most of the almost 2 hour runtime, but because it was smart.  Yes, you read that right.  A horror movie that is actually smart.  I think I just saw a pig fly by.    Continue reading

Review: The Lords Of Salem (2013)

Writing a review for The Lords Of Salem is unlike any movie that I’ve reviewed before.  Because not only do I have my perspective on how I felt about what was going on up on the big screen, but I also felt I gained Rob Zombie’s perspective after the screening that I attended thanks to a Q&A with him and his wife (and lead actress in the movie), Sheri Moon Zombie.

Not apologetically, I can say that I liked House Of 1000 Corpses for the craziness that it was and I honestly loved the sequel, The Devil’s Rejects and felt it nailed the dirty retro vibe it was going for.  We’ll just forget about the Halloween movies for now though and move along to the present.  Basically, I was excited about The Lords Of Salem because it was giving Mr. Zombie a chance to give us something original again, and who doesn’t love a good horror movie about witches?  My expectations going in weren’t super high, but they were up there, and when I walked out of the theater, I think I exhaled about 4 times because I literally was deflated by what I had just watched.  And needless to say, that’s a big problem.   Continue reading

Review: Opening Night Of The ‘Days Of The Dead’ Convention In LA

Hooray for horror conventions coming back to LA!  Yes, after Fangoria’s Weekend Of Horrors ceased to exist, there was a void in LA for a good horror convention (no disrespect to Monsterpalooza though, but that takes place in Burbank).  Enter in the Days Of The Dead and that void has seemingly now been filled.  Taking place this past weekend, I was fortunate enough to go Friday night for the opening festivities.  Now I have to give a quick disclaimer before I continue:  due to me having to work the rest of the weekend to help pay the bills, I was unfortunately unable to attend on Saturday or Sunday. Nevertheless, I’m reviewing anyway because I still had a blast!   Continue reading

Review: Evil Dead (2013)

It’s hard out here for a possessed demon, man.  You have to take scalding hot showers, you uncontrollably piss you pants, but on the upside – you apparently can be a pretty good shot with a nail gun!  With all this demon talk going on, chances are I can only be talking about one movie:  Evil Dead.  Yes Fede Alvarez’s feature directorial debut film is a remake of the 1981 Sam Raimi lensed cult classic, The Evil Dead.  So does the potentially unnecessary remake do the original justice and maybe even improve on it?  Or is it just another in a long line of horror remakes that missed the mark and should have been left in the cellar?  Step inside and find out…. Continue reading

Review: Livid (2011)

It’s no secret if you really know me or have been stalking me, that the 2007 French horror movie Inside will forever remain on my list of movies that I would recommend to anyone with a cinematic pulse.  The brutality, but equal beautifulness of it all will definitely be embedded in your head after one viewing (although you may not be able to watch it again after that).  So it came with much joy and happy dancing when I heard that the directors of Inside, Alexandre Bustillo and Julien Maury, were back behind the camera with their new movie Livid (or Livide in French).  It was pretty much a given that the imagery would be there, but would the story grab a hold of me like their previous effort?  Step inside and find out…..   Continue reading

Review: Rites Of Spring (2011)

Well, as most of you who read this blog know, I really needed a good slasher flick to get the bad taste out of my mouth that is called Smiley.  I stumbled upon a poster for a new movie called Rites Of Spring and I was already intrigued based off of the retro feel that the poster gave me.  And boy do I love me some good retro horror! Unfortunately, the poster ended up being the best part about this mess of a movie and because of that, I would have to continue on with my journey to find the slasher movie that will take away that bad taste.   Continue reading

Review: The Loved Ones (2009)

Yes, I shamefully admit that my first viewing of Sean Byrne’s Australian horror flick The Loved Ones was done by ways of the bootlegging variety.  I had heard such a strong buzz, that I couldn’t help myself as I watched a copy of the Australian DVD release online to see if it was indeed worthy of the aforementioned “buzz”.  And it was.  Luckily, it’s finally been released here in the US on DVD (not Blu-Ray yet unfortunately), so I was able to to sit down again with it, and this time in a more intimate setting (my wife lit candles and we sipped wine with our arms intertwined).

*please just take a little off the top – I like my shaggy rebellious hair*

The Loved Ones was released in Australia waaaaaay back in 2009 and hit some of the US film festivals around that same time to rave reviews.   Continue reading