Has Anybody Seen My Turkey Baster? (Don’t Breathe – 2016)

You know, I was just talking to my friend the other day and told him that there is an extreme shortage of semen-filled turkey basters in horror movies nowadays.  Luckily for me, I can go back and revisit the solid 2016 horror/thriller flick Don’t Breathe to get my fix.

For those of you who have not seen Don’t Breathe since it’s release two years ago, I guess I kind of sort of already spoiled the fact that there’s a semen-filled turkey baster scene.  But not just any semen-filled turkey baster scene……THE semen-filled turkey baster scene!  Now watch below as Rocky (Jane Levy) gets her revenge with a (you guessed it) turkey baster.

Now the first thing that comes to mind besides mouthwash after I watch that clip, is how fucking good this movie was.  To me, Don’t Breathe lived up to the hype even though it’s not technically a full-blown horror movie.  A sequel seems to be coming, but if you ask me they should just leave it alone.  And speaking of coming, I do wonder if another turkey baster will make it’s way onto the big screen when the sequel does hit.  We can only dream.

Holy Shit Horror: ‘Are You Not The Babysitter?’ From ‘The House Of The Devil’ (2009)

I love being startled by something unexpected in a horror movie.  It lets me know that I need to be kept on my toes and be ready for anything.  Kind of like when young Regan in The Exorcist was inappropriately banging herself with a crucifix.  Definitely a “Did that just really happen?” kind of moment.  In 2009, director Ti West gave us one of those moments in his fantastic slow-burn horror movie, The House Of The Devil.

I love this film, but it’s one that you have to be patient with.  And if you have the patience, you’ll be rewarded with scenes like the one where Megan (Greta Gerwig) is confronted by Victor Ulman (A.J. Bowen) as she tries to enjoy a cigarette while sitting in her car.  It will make you think of ducking if someone ever stops you and asks “Are you not the babysitter?

Now there have been a lot of ‘gunshot to the head’ death scenes in horror movies over the years, but that one just might be my favorite.  Obviously you know that something is probably going to happen to Megan, but it’s the sheer suddenness of it all that puts this headshot on the top of the list for me and made me say “Holy shit!“.  Poor Megan.  She probably wishes she had stuck around and ate some more pizza instead of leaving and getting her nicotine fix. They sure do like pizza in this movie by the way.

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