Tag Archives: shudder

I Can’t Pronounce ‘Skinamarink’.

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Is there any greater joy in life than listening to people pronounce things incorrectly? I still remember the Three’s Company episode where Mr. Furley mispronounces everything in the French restaurant when he’s there with Janet. The point of me talking about an old relic sitcom from the 70’s, is that I liked Mr. Furley better than Mr. Roper……and also to accentuate the point of me often mispronouncing the new ‘little horror movie that could‘, Skinamarink.

For those unaware, Skinamarink was made for a mere $15,000 by writer/director Kyle Edward Ball. It’s already grossed almost $2 million at the box office in limited release AND it’s getting released courtesy of Shudder this weekend on February 2nd! All joking aside about the name, I will say that the trailer tickled my horror spot and was brilliantly done. I mean, don’t you wanna know what happened in ‘this house‘??!?!

Now back to my inability to say the name of the movie right. Oh, my girlfriend and I have had quite the laughing fest when I try and say it and “Skinkakatmandoo” comes out. Or even “Skinkaminkapalooza“. And one of these days I might say it right. It’s easy to type out though. Skinamarink! The funny thing is that if you type the name into Google, you can see other people unintentionally misspelling it as well. Circling back to the real news of this post, Skinamarink premieres on Shudder this week on February 2nd! So check it out with me, and then let’s all get messed up and keep trying to say the name 10 times in a row really fast.

Dirty Horror’s Best (And Worst) Of 2021!

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Holy shit – another year down…..and another year that Mister Covid reared his/her ugly head and kept a lot of people out of the theaters (again). But…..throughout all of that mess, us horror fans still had plenty to cheer for in 2021! Now, below are a few of my personal favorites of this past year – followed by a few stinkers that were super stinky and really stunk like poo poo. I hope you enjoyed that last sentence because it was written by a 5-year-old. Let’s get to it!

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Let’s All Appreciate The Dance Sequence In ‘Just Before Dawn’ (1981)

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I don’t like to dance. But if I do dance, I usually end up doing some goofy shit like Ed Harris in Creepshow. And even though I’m as light on my feet as Jabba the Hutt wearing brick shoes, I do appreciate a good dancing sequence in a horror movie. Enter in the dancing sequence from Just Before Dawn, a 80’s slasher movie that is often brought up when talking about ‘underrated slashers’. The dancing however, is anything but underrated. Watch!

Now that’s a fun dance party in the middle of the woods when a bunch of hillbillies are trying to kill you! The problem with horror movies today, besides people yelling “Evil Dies Tonight!“, is that there aren’t enough bad dancing sequences to set up the demise of those bad dancers. But anyway, I will jump on the bandwagon as far as Just Before Dawn and tell you to go seek it out on Shudder right now, because it actually is a good underrated slasher movie. And feel free to get up and boogie when you watch it too!

Go Watch ‘The Dark And The Wicked’ On Shudder……Now!!

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Is this a review? Yes and no. I’m sort of tired of writing a typical review, so I’ll do this one a little differently. Have you heard of the movie The Dark And The Wicked? No?? Hmmmm. Do you have Shudder? Oh, you do?? Well…..get your happy ass on over there and watch the movie! That was a bit rude. My apologies.

Ok, so the movie is The Dark And The Wicked. Written and directed by Bryan Bertino, who also wrote and directed The Strangers (a personal favorite of mine btw). So what does this movie have going for it: Good acting? Check. Creepy atmosphere? Check. Jump scares? Yeah, a minimal check. A woman slicing off her fingers thinking that they’re carrots? Super check!

The Dark And The Wicked doesn’t exactly reinvent anything horror-wise, but aside from the ending – it doesn’t really fuck anything up. The story is fairly straight forward: Two siblings (Marin Ireland and Michael Abbott Jr.) return home to be with their dying father and distraught mother. While there, strange things start happening – disturbing images pop up – and blood is shed. Not all exactly in that order. There’s a sense of sorrow and dread throughout the whole movie, and it definitely plays on general grief and emotion that a family goes through when someone either passes away, or is about to.

This is one of those movies that I had low expectations with, and ended up liking it more because of that. While not perfect, The Dark And The Wicked did its job with me…..which is basically making me squirm a few times and maybe even giving in to the ‘jump scare’ attempts. It’s on Shudder now, so goooooooo watch it!

Quarantine Movie Of The Week: Bliss (2019)

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**Knock Knock** (door opens)

“I’m here for the Bliss party.” “Wait, what?  It was last month??  Dammit.”

Ah yes, I’m late to another party.  But not just any party……the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer!  Um, I mean……the Bliss party!  Ah yes – Bliss is writer/director Jeff Begos’ third feature film (his first being Almost Human, which honestly I didn’t love).  But with this one – Begos gave me a gore boner, and also gave me an eye boner too (if that’s a real thing)…..because those visuals and the overall style and vibe of Bliss left me having Mandy flashbacks (in a good way).  I debated throwing a clip from the movie in the post, but check the trailer out instead:

During these ‘end of days’ times we’re living in right now, Bliss was a perfect viewing – not because the subject matter matches our current quarantined conditions, but because it was a brisk and gory good time!  Did I mention the music?  The vampire aspect?  The standout performance of Dora Madison?  The gore? (the head snapback got me) And what about George Wendt? (Norm!)

Bliss clocks in around 80 minutes so it doesn’t really have any time to drag around.  Once the drugs make an appearance, the vampires aren’t far behind.  And from then on, sit back and enjoy the show (and possibly get a seizure from the visuals too).  While the storyline sort of made me think of 2015’s The Devil’s Candy (sans vampires of course), Bliss did enough to stand out on it’s own.  Being that I’ve already heard good things about Jeff Begos’ new movie VFW, I’m psyched to see not only that – but what he brings in the future as he seems to be hitting his stride.  Go check out Bliss on Shudder now!  They’re doing a free 30-day promo (Code = SHUTIN) for all my fellow quarantiners.  Not sure quarantiners is a word, but it is now.