I know most of you might think that the original Black Christmas is the best Christmas-themed horror movie ever, but I’m here to tell you that you’re right. Now aside from my agreement on that topic, another Christmas-themed horror movie that you need to see is Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker! I know you probably need convincing, so watch this clip below and I’ll tell you 5 things that I personally learned from this monumental scene in horror movie history:
Ok, here we go:
Always make sure to say something funny like “It’s to die for.” right before you knowingly send someone to their inevitable death.
He should have crashed at least 10 times considering his eyes rarely made contact with the road at any point in this clip.
Larry The Larvae is quite persistent.
Larry The Larvae must also be a vampire since no blood really appears when he pops the guy’s eyeball out.
It’s unfortunate that Mickey Rooney isn’t in this scene.
Well, that was fun I guess. Go watch this gem of a Christmas horror movie on Shudder now!
Looking for that perfect gift for the horror fan in your life? It is the holiday season, so if you’re not looking, you should be somewhat ashamed of yourself. But if that special horror-enthusiastic person you know is a fan of Silent Night Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker, then I may have just found you the perfect gift!
Oh wow! Is that a Silent Night Deadly Night 5 poster??? For the two people who are actual fans of this movie, it’s ok to show your excitement. But yes, that is indeed an actual 27 X 40 poster that can be yours on Ebay for only $10. Unfortunately, Mickey Rooney is not included. Nor is that smug kid on the poster either. But at $10, it’s actually kind of a steal to own a piece of ‘bad horror film’ memorabilia. So if you’re interested, head over to the Ebay listing HEREand snatch it up. If not, feel free to go spend your $10 on some delicious holiday cookies.
No Christmas is complete without a Mickey Rooney clip from Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker.
Yeah! Stuff that in your stocking. Make no mistake about it, this is a terrible movie. But it’s got Mickey Rooney as a crazy old guy who somehow makes toys that kill people, awkward sex scenes, and a lot of Pinocchio references. So there is a certain charm that accompanies this fifth sequel (yes….fifth) in the Silent Night, Deadly Night franchise. So when you’re sitting around the fireplace with your Christmas tree lit in the background this year, go on and pop in Silent Night Deadly Night Part 5: The Toy Maker. You’ll make the Simpsons version of Mickey Rooney smile.
Sorry – didn’t mean to bring the merriness down there with the news that a national treasure such as Mickey Rooney was a homicidal killer Santa Claus. But that’s what you get if you were one of the very, very few who were ever subjected to a viewing of 1991’s, Silent Night Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker. Now the first question you might be asking yourself is how did they get up to a Part 5 in this lackluster horror franchise? But the second and most popular question would be what the hell was Mickey Rooney doing in this movie, let alone playing the old fat jolly guy in the red suit with an evil grudge and awesome toy making abilities?
*your breath smells like menthol cough drops old man*
Not to bore you with the plot of Silent Night Deadly Night 5, but here it goes: just kidding, I won’t bore you with it. What’s even more preposterous than the plot of this sequel though, is a huge well known fact about Mr. Rooney and the original Silent Night Deadly Night movie. He publicly condemned the 1984 slasher flick (along with many others at the time) and wrote a letter of protest to the producers voicing his displeasure with seeing a guy dressed up as Santa Claus, slicing and dicing naughty boys and girls and putting topless women with nice racks onto deer antlers. Mickey Rooney has voiced Santa Claus for numerous popular animated movies throughout the years and took major offense to what ol’ Billy was up to in the original cult classic.
*jimminy jillickers! this hat’s too tight!*
So what does Mickey do? He puts himself into the role of the killer Santa Claus for the fifth sequel. Money troubles? Senility? Both? I’m not sure if we ever got an answer as to why he did it, but the irony is pretty outstanding. Since it’s the holiday season though, I’m going to give Mickey Rooney a break and thank him for giving the horror world one of the most random and ridiculous performances ever. This would be the the final sequel in the Silent Night Deadly Night series though, so take that however you want. On a cheese level, it’s very high, and Mr. Rooney is obviously a big part of that. Oh, and Clint Howard too. Can’t say a bad thing about that guy.
*you try being Richie Cunningham’s f*cking brother*