Rental Regrets: Sorority House Massacre (1986)

Here we go again with my walk down Rental Regrets lane, where I come up with a horror movie from the 80’s that I kinda wish I would have rented.  I watched literally hundereds of horror movies back then, but there are always a few that slipped through my chubby teenage fingers while I was at my favorite Mom & Pop video store.  So what forgotten 80’s horror nugget is on my brain today?

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Oh yeah!  It’s Sorority House Massacre – another slasher movies in a sea of slasher movies that came out at that time.  But look – there’s a scantily-dressed young lady on the cover about to remove her lingerie!  How did I not rent this?!?  Well, to be honest – I was most likely bored of the ‘slasher genre’ in the 80’s.  They were a dime a dozen, and as much as I like girls running around in their underwear and having pillow fights while I murderer watches from an outside window……I became numb to all of it.  But I have to say, I’m having regrets from not renting Sorority House Massacre and I think what sealed it for me (other than the above lingerie) was when I finally watched the trailer on Youtube:

Does this movie take place in Bedrock?  Because I could have sworn I heard some Flintstones sound effects in there a few times.  Anyway, time for me to stop procrastinating and start watching this sucker.  Until then, I’ll just keep gazing up at the hot and sexy……..tagline ‘A slash course in absolute terror!‘.

Underappreciated Slashers: Girl House (2015)

Once in a while, a slasher film comes along that really gives me those funky 80’s slasher vibes.  What is the criteria for that, you ask?  Well…..hot girls, a lot of gore, and more hot girls!  Luckily we had a movie give us that criteria in 2015, but a lot of you may not have seen it.  It’s called Girl House.  And yes, it has girls in it.  See?

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Oh sure, there are girls in Girl House.  And really hot ones if I’m being completely honest. But what I really dug about the movie is that it doesn’t skimp on the gore either.  Yes, it’s the typical ‘bullied kid grows up to get revenge and kill a bunch of people who bullied him‘ scenario, but Girl House is actually well done on a technical level.  The practical effects hit the mark, and our killer named Loverboy is unapologetically brutal and brooding – exactly what a slasher villain should be!  Any horror movie that isn’t afraid to be brutal to kids gets a ‘horror stamp of approval’ from me as well.  See Exhibit A below:

Mean spirited?  Yeah.  But effective from a horror standpoint.  I admire horror movies that come with fresh ideas and give us something that we haven’t seen before.  But I also admire the horror movies that pay homage to a time when VHS copies of movies like Girl House were flying off the shelf at your local Mom & Pop rental stores.  So seek out this underappreciated slasher if you can, especially if you’re into a lack of plot and lots of gore. Oh – and did I mention the hot girls?  Yeah – lots of hot girls.

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Sunday Bloody Sunday: ‘Head Explosion’ From ‘The Prowler’ (1981)

With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, I figured I’d get the romance started with an exploding head from the 1981 splatterific slasher movie The Prowler.  Flowers and chocolates are pretty much overrated anyway, so exploding heads are the way to go nowadays.

Welcome to Sunday Bloody Sunday, where as I’ve already mentioned – I’m shining a spotlight onto an exploding head from The Prowler.  But who’s exploding head is it?  Well…..therein lies the rub.  It’s a scene from the end of the movie, so if you haven’t seen it – then this would be considered a big spoiler.  That being because the exploding head is that of the revealed killer!  Dun Dun Duhhhhhh.  Yeah, it’s kind of like a super graphic Scooby-Doo ending.  But anyway, click away below and you’re been warned if you haven’t seen the movie!  P.S. – Kudos to Tom Savini for the FX work.

Monday Bloody Monday: ‘Meat Grinder Death’ From ‘Slaughterhouse’ (1987)

While being bored on a Friday night recently, I discovered the 1987 horror/comedy slasher Slaughterhouse.  It’s a charming little story about a father and son who own a, you guessed it…..slaughterhouse!  They’re in danger of losing it to some big shots in town, so of course they decide to kill everyone to get even.  Hilarity (both intentional and not) ensues, and I have to say that it was actually a refreshing watch.

Sooooooo, welcome to Monday Bloody Monday where I’m going to highlight a scene from the movie where Buddy Bacon (of course that’s his name) and his dimwitted son Lester take justice into their own hands and into their own meat grinder.  Gotta love Buddy’s facial expressions during this scene.  God bless 80’s horror and god bless Slaughterhouse!  Oh – I almost forgot!  I’m going to include a special PSA from the movie that warns you about smoking in the movie theater.  Because that apparently happened in the 80’s.  Enjoy!

Dirty Horror Presents: “Bastaaaaaaaaaard!!!”

Few actresses have ever shown their range and thespian abilities like Lynda Day George in the 1982 slasher movie, Pieces.  Such poise.  Such grace. Such gratuitous over-acting.  All of this adds up to one of the best moments in horror movie history.  Strap yourselves in and prepare yourself for: “Bastaaaaaaaaaard!!!

Are you taking notes, Meryl Streep?  You damn well better be.  Lynda Day George took that to another level and we’re all better people for it.  You want to know the sad thing about that clip though?  It’s not even the best part in the movie.  Pieces is in another realm when it comes to bad horror, and I mean that in the most endearing way possible.  Unfortunately, the Blu-ray gods have yet to release this craptastic masterpiece, which is a god damn tragedy.  Seek it out on DVD if you can, and maybe you can surprise that horror movie lover in your life for the holidays!

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Give Me The Creeps: ‘Billy’s Eye’ From ‘Black Christmas’ (1974)

You know who would really be the life of your holiday party this year?  Billy from 1974’s classic slasher, Black Christmas!  He would definitely have you covered if you needed the following:  some plastic bags for whatever reason, an obscene phone call that emphasizes the word ‘cunt’, and a creepy peeping eyeball.

Speaking of creepy – not many movies creep me out more than Bob Clark’s, Black Christmas.  A definite pioneer in the slasher genre, it manages to make your skin crawl just off of the opening sequence alone.  But the scene with Billy’s aforementioned creepy eye takes the creepy cake for sure.  So let’s all watch together as Jess (Olivia Hussey) runs frantically through the house and encounters Billy and his eerie peeping peeper.

Review: The Town That Dreaded Sundown (2014)

Well that’s just great.  I was about to book my vacation to the lovely town of Texarkana, Texas and now I have to put everything on hold after watching the new remake/reboot/sequel flick, The Town That Dreaded Sundown.  The bad news is that it’s back to square one for my vacation planning.  The good news is that the movie wasn’t half bad!    Continue reading

Horror What Ifs: A Bushwick Bill ‘Chuckwick’ Movie?

Raise your hand if you know who Bushwick Bill and the Geto Boys are.  Ok, now raise you’re hand if you’re surprised that Bushwick Bill is still alive.  No that’s not a dig at him being a little person, so calm down.  And yes, he is a little person for those of you who didn’t raise your hand or maybe you just didn’t want to participate in this fun little interaction.  I made that comment about him being alive because Bushwick Bill was infamously shot in the eye by his girlfriend at the time, after he had a drinking binge off of Everclear.  As the legend goes, Bushwick was trying to force her to kill him, but she missed and shot him in the eye instead.  And as infamous as that incident was, it was nothing compared to the opportunistic album cover that would follow with a bloody-eyed Bushwick on a gurney holding a Zack Morris phone for the Geto Boys album, We Can’t Be Stopped.

Now from that album, Bushwick Bill would introduce us to his infatuation with our favorite murderous doll from Child’s Play, Chucky, and also introduce us to his mind that seemed to be filled with making cake mix out of dead heads and frog legs.  Gross.  Yes, the track “Chuckie” (misspelled on purpose?), was born and from then on, Bushwick would be know for his connection to the little red headed guy and would even spawn the sequel track, “Chuckwick” off of Bushwick’s debut solo album, Little Big Man.  Which brings me to the reason for this post.   Continue reading